Chapter Fifty Five

"Oh! You'll get help will you? That sounds so scary!"

"Stacey, when I say I will get help, I mean it. I never spoke up to my bullies at school who went around and told me to kill myself. I never went and got a teacher to help. I never went to get help when my mother abused me. But if that is what is takes to get you to leave and stop acting like you are entitled to my respect, then so be it. I am sick of being weak."

I don't know how I said all of that. Especially to her. I know that the boys know about my mother but I still don't like talking about it in front of them. So the fact that I just blurted out an entire story about not standing up for myself, I am shocked.

But I can feel the fear starting to twist its way up my spine. I can feel the sadness as it creeps into my heart. I can feel the weak feeling that use to control my body as it starts to attack my bones and my mind. 

But I am fighting it.

I will fight it for as long as I can. I will hold on to this new found strength until I am able to let go. I don't care how much it hurts me, how much my hands start to burn, I will hold on. Even if it hurts me.

I know that the saying is 'sometimes it hurts less to let go'. But I am not letting go of this. I have finally found that strength, that strength that I have been searching for for my entire life. I finally found it and there is no way that I am just going to let it go.

Even if it tears the skin away from the bone. Even if it hurts to the point that I'm in tears, I will hold on. I am determined. I am determined to not be weak anymore. I do not want to be weak. I have been weak my entire life and now finding this strength, the feeling is amazing.

It's like this huge rush of confidence that is just coursing through my body. It doesn't feel like anything I've ever felt before. It's an amazing feeling, as to just let go of it, is not something I would want to do. I want to experience this feeling again and again. And never let it go.

"Those are such scary words. Especially coming from the girl who can't even remember the last year of her life," Stacey sneers.

Instead of reacting the way she is probably hoping for, I stand still. I let her abusive words just fall off me into a pile of ash on the ground. I am finally going to ignore the words being spoken to me. I am not going to take them to heart.

I am going to be stronger then the demons that want me to be weak.

I am going to push those demons down. I'm going to push them down until they are so far under that murky water that they can't breathe. Until they are so far under that they can't see. Until they are so far under that they can't do anymore damage to me. 

Even if they tried.

"Stacey, I may not remember the last year of my life but I still know enough to stick up for myself. It's not like I forgot how to speak. It's not like I forgot how to use the voice that was given to me."

"Well obviously being kidnapped help you to remember how to use it, considering that you have never spoken up to anyone."

Wow.

That's low.

Even for her. And that is saying something.

"Get out Stacey. Get out until you have found some manners and some respect. Until then, don't come back," I say as I point towards the door.

"If it means I get to get away from you and you 'new found voice'," she says as she puts air quotation marks around a few chosen words, "Then I will gladly leave."

I feel a smirk make it's way onto my face, "Good."

I watch as he turns to Louis, her hand resting on his chest, "Come on boobear. Let's go."

And with that, they both leave. I honestly thought that Louis was better then that. I thought that he would leave her in an instant after he heard those words spoken to me, but obviously, I was wrong. I was very wrong. 

Louis is not the person I thought he was.

"Mimi!"

"What?" I say as I turn towards Liam, lifting one of my eyebrows up in question.

"You just...You just stood up for yourself! I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Li," I mumble while looking down at the ground.

"I can't believe she would say that though. And that Louis would just follow after her like that! It's just so wrong!" Niall exclaims.

It really was.

I never expected Louis to be the type of guy who followed a girl around who was rude to all his friends. Honestly, I never thought he would be the type of guy to get a rude girl friend in the first place. But boy was I wrong. 

I guess it just goes to prove that you never truly know someone. You can know all of their secrets, all their dreams, all their darkest thoughts, but you can never truly know them. They will always do something that will throw you off guard. Something that will change you perspective of them.

Maybe I'm wrong. But, even Niall seems to support my statement. I mean, he has been friends with Louis for about 5 years, he knows everything about him. And yet, he was still shocked that Louis would walk off with her like that and leave us all behind feeling hurt by her words.

"That just proves something that I've always lived by," I sigh.

"What do you mean love?"

Shaking my head, I look up to meet their expectant eyes, "No matter how much time you spend with someone, you never truly know them."

Phew. Sorry this is up late guys. I had to study for my maths test and then I started writing it but before I could finish it I had dancing. So yeah. But it's up now so life is good.

Wish me luck with my maths test tomorrow guys!

I'm actually pretty confident about it because I can do the stuff that's in it, so that is a plus.

:( There has been so much drama at my school these last couple of days, you guys have no idea. I really have not been the right state of mind lately. It was a fight between two of my best friends and I couldn't really take a side, although what one of them said to the other was extremely rude. But it just, it really hurt me. I know that it hurt my friends more but just no one really stopped to think about how the girl stuck in the middle of it all would feel.

But yeah, the drama is mostly over. So I'm back.

Hopefully.

QOTC: Have you ever been it a situation where you can't take a side and it literally kills you?

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo