I'm laughing. He's got his hands slinked around my waist, sending comfort all around me. His eyes hold warmth and happiness, and he picks me up, twirling me around.

Its almost like this is a movie. Its almost like this isn't real.

That's because it isn't.

My vision swirls and now, it's the complete opposite. He isn't there.

I'm looking at the clock, but I'm unable to read the time. But there's a jolt in my memory telling me it's been 3 days since he's gone. Gone.

He's dead.

----

Mornings. I hate mornings.

Though there's some part of me which loves them. Because mornings are the time I can escape into myself, and get that feeling which satisfies me immensely.

It happens when I wake up at the break of dawn, and when I watch the sun rise. I feel like I'm the only lone person on the entire planet, and I only have myself to please.

Today however, did not have that morning. I woke up at noon, and I'm very groggy due to that.

I was up all night writing my letters to the ones I loved, and also sending them around.

Roy's letter was a big toughie, but I left it with the others, hoping they would know to send it to him, wherever he is.

Right now, I sit in the woods, where Barry said Zoom had his lair on Earth - 2. Luckily, there isn't any lair here, and I've managed to fly up here and settle down for a while.

I'm aware that if they need any help, I could just go there in an instant, and I'm also aware that Cisco can easily find me. Which is good.

I'm going to sew another mask and a pair of gloves for myself. I stole Joe's special sewing kit he had stashed in his second drawer, ready to mend any damages of cloth when we were reckless little kids.

I'm upset I couldnt say bye to him in a better way.
But it's really not like I can do anything now.

It's completely obvious that the loss of Barry's speed is going to push them to be greatly reckless, and I've left them at a horrible time.

But I can't be in a room where all of them eye me, and if anything goes wrong, I'll be the first person they'll blame.

They just need space. But just enough , so they can breathe and relax until zoom strikes again.

He most certainly thinks that Barry isn't a threat anymore, and he most certainly thinks we can't do anything.

But he's wrong.

Last night, I had the weirdest vision. Like the usual I was looking through another world through a Gabriella, but she was tremendously different.

She had quite the robotic voice and she said things about some speed force and I couldn't understand what it meant.

In front of me, stood Barry, and he had this bewildered look on his face. It's scared me, for I couldn't hear more than mumbles, and his expression just got worse, and worse.

For the first time, I felt absolutely useless. Unable to help, unable to find something out of the ordinary.

What am I supposed to do?

---

There's an odd, continuous pain surging in my head. It's almost as if it's asking for permission to ruin me and bring a wrath of pain upon me. But I don't let it.

Physical pain is the least of my thoughts now.

Everything doesn't seem right, and as I bring out another bag of chips, finding another free flash figurine, I feel worse.

It's almost like I'm Harry Potter, with the lightning scar on my head, with the searing pain and everything.

But I can't lose it. Not now.

I lie down, allowing my muscles to relax just a tiny bit.

I've been a coward, and I haven't faced the situation at hand.

I'm just about to run a comforting hand through my knotted hair when the pain gets worse. And it's only getting worse.

It's like my head is splitting open and all my secrets have been unleashed. Everything I saw is out.

Everything I see, is black.

Am I dead?

----

Cisco's POV

"Holy moly", I say, my eyes tight shut.

"What? What is it?", Joe asks worriedly.

"Its not Barry I see, I see Gabi, and I think know where she may be."

I hear a squeaking chair and shuffling footsteps.

"Where is she?"

" Can't exactly tell, but I see her memories. Guys, they're really bad. There are so many of them I can't keep track."

A memory slithers into my vision.

It's of Zoom, injuring her traumatically in what looks like Earth-2.

So she wasn't lying.

I blink my eyes open, allowing them to breathe.

"She wasn't lying", I say firmly.

I continue," She'll know what to do, and she can get inside his head as we try to find Barry."

No one speaks.

"I'll get her", says Roy, looking at the floor.

I smirk. "No need, she's already coming."

---

My eyes drift to the clock, ticking away, while everyone sits in silence.

She would take time, she was quite the distance away.

But it's only been fifteen minutes, and it looks like we're all going to have to play the waiting game.

And so we sit. And we sit.

And we sit.

This is really getting boring.

Off late, I have come to a conclusion that sitting is-

"What happened?", asks a light voice.

My head turns to see Gabi, and she's exhausted.

She has bags under her eyes and her eyes look washed out of all happiness, she has a weird blue substance oozing out of her nose and ears.

"I flew", she answers our question.

Iris is the first to get up, crushing her in a hug, I'm second, as well as Joe.

Roy hasn't arrived yet. He's busy staring at Barry's ripped Flash suit.

He thinks the same might happen to her.

"Guys what's happened?", she asks again, this time more worried.

"It's Barry", Iris says.

Her eyes grow wide.

"No. No no no no. I saw him alive and he has to be and-"

"He is", I say," Just not here."

"Then where?", you can tell she's trying to hold back tears.

"He's in something we call the speed force.", Begins Wells.

"We believe Cisco can reach out to him and find him, and we also found you in the process", he smiles.

Gabi's eyes drift off to Henry and Jesse.

"Henry?", her voice cracks.

He looks up, smiling almost.

"Hi Gabriella", he walks over and gives her a hug, whispering something in her ear which seems to calm her down.

She edges towards me," Is Jesse okay?"

"She will be."

---
Gabriella's POV

"So what do you think we should do?"

I sniffle.

" Find Barry first. If we get to Zoom and attempt to get Barry back, it's possible he may destroy all the chances we have."

"And then?"

I shrug," We have faith in what Barry says. If he comes back, there's no doubt he'll be ready with a plan."

"And what if he doesn't come back?", asks Henry.

I sigh," Then we are gonna have to do this on our own. And we can, we just have to hope."

Everyone nods.

"So first we start finding a way to get Barry back, Cisco let's go", says Wells.

Iris closes the gap between us," I have to tell you two things."

She takes my hand and drags me to where Jesse is.

My eyes reach Iris', and she almost has a nervous and happy twinge in her eyes.

"First, Barry kissed me"

"What?!"

"Yeah, and it was great."

I almost squeal," About time he did."

There's a pause.

"Wait, did you get my letters?"

Iris shrugged," Yeah, we did. It was upsetting, and then Barry went and this is all so messed up."

I nod," I get it. I was a coward, I should've just explained it to you guys."

She nods with me.

"Also", she adds," Roy's here."

My heart drops.

"What?"

"He came looking for you on the day you left and he's been here since."

"Where is he?"

"Experiment room 3"

---

I don't want to see him. He is the one thing that scares me most. Facing him will scare me. And I don't even know why.

He doesn't know I stand behind him, while he holds the suit tenderly, as if he were speaking to Barry.

I can't just stare at him forever.

Although that would be so much more easier.

" I always wondered why you liked orange and chocolate. It's a terrible combination", I say, biting my tongue after my sentence, almost cringing at the stupid conversation starter.

He spins around, eyes wide, dropping the suit.

He's absolutely gobsmacked, and his jaw hangs down to his feet.

He blinks his grey blue eyes, attempting to say something but fails tremendously.

"I - uhm"

Before he knows it, he stumbles back, holding my waist and keeping me from falling down. Not that I will, I'm clinging onto him too tight.

"I'm sorry"

"Me too."

I climb off him, having to step on his boots before the ground due to my height.

"Wait. Did you just apologise?"

He scratches the back of his neck, smirking a little," Maybe?"

I'm not even going to deny the next two minutes we spent just grinning at each other.

He takes my hand, examining each finger as he says," I missed you."

I can feel my stomach doing its own sequence of Olympic gymnastics.

"I missed you too."

"Cmon", he says," assuming you've met everyone else, we need to train"

I laugh," You're training again?"

"Yeah, I need a new name. Ideas?"

"Black Arrow."

"You had that ready for a while didn't you?"

"Of course I did, you can't resist fighting"

"I'm fighting to protect you"

"I don't need protecting, I can very well handle myself."

We walk out of the room, leaving behind the catastrophe that had taken place.

And Roy never lets go of my hand.