Requested by @ppldontseeme

You came home more disappointed in yourself than ever. Slamming the door behind yourself as you stormed in, kicking your shoes off as you do. You shake off your shades and toss aside the paperwork that resulted from your mistake.

"Damnit," you curse under your breath as you collapse on the couch. Thoughts of "if only" statements flood your mind as you create all the scenarios that could've ended the mission better. But of course, they were all lies to the truth that you failed completely. It was all your fault, and there was no one to blame but yourself.

Threats of a migraine seize the bridge between your eyes and you pinch it to ease the pain. You reluctantly get off the couch to grab a water from the fridge when you see Hawks enter from your window. A smile stretches across his face the second his eyes land on you, but immediately falters the second he notices your mood.

"What happened?" He asks as he rushes to your side and opens your water bottle for you.

You chug half of the bottle before you let out a gasp and finally answer him. "I have to be stronger. Faster. I need to better myself," you speak your determination to existence.

He doesn't question you, instead he nods. He takes the bottle from you and tightens the cap on. He grabs himself a bottle and says, "What do you need?"

"Spar with me," you demand as you start stretching your arms.

Hawks it taken aback and his determination to help you falters slightly. "Right now?"

You nod as you switch arms, "Better now than never."

His head cocks to the side and he asks, "Well, I just thought you'd want a proper setting. Not the gym? Just your apartment?"

You bend over to stretch your back as you say, "I don't have time for messing around. I need to be better. I can't mess up again. I can't fail."

He watches you stretch as he tries to think of what to say. He wanted to be careful, but if he didn't stop you... he feared you would spiral into a depression of self-deprecation.

You jumped several times, up and down then left to right. A quick few punches and a high kick and you felt warmed up enough. You cocked your fists up, shifting your weight between your feet and focus all your attention on Hawks.

"Give me all you've got," you say then lunge at Hawks with your right fist.

Immediately, his wings spread apart to shift his body to the side just to barely dodge your punch. Before he could recover, you throw your left in which he blocks with a few stray feathers. The contact between feather and skin gave a slight burning sensation to your knuckles. Again.

You threw another right followed by a left then a right. Hawks easily dodges your punches and blocks them but doesn't fight back. His mind seems to be elsewhere and it starts to tick you off. You cock your right fist for a punch only to switch it up last minute, and swiftly swing your left foot for his torso.

"What's the matter, Hawks? Too easy for you? You're supposed to be helping me out here. I told you not to go easy on me," you shout as you continue your onslaught of punches.

Despite your efforts, your irritation grows as he refuses to reciprocate. He watches you closely, dodging and blocking you effortlessly. No matter how hard you try, you can't land a single hit on Hawks. As if all your efforts that got you to where you are meant nothing... and he didn't care. It all the more proved how incompetent you are.

You feel the frustration build up in your throat, but you swallow it and sweep his feet. He easily recovers with a flap of his wings and steps back only to meet the window. You take this chance to grab his shirt and cock your fist back.

Your hand falters the second you see him stare deeply into your eyes. His wings are relaxed behind him and show no sign of moving. His hands hold yours at his shirt and he seems... strange. Why is he looking at you like that when you were so ready to punch him seconds ago?

Your head falls but your fist still holds onto all the frustration. "Why aren't you helping me? I need this, Hawks. I can't accomplish anything the way I am now."

"But you have," he says and his hand lowers your fist to open and entangle his fingers with. He holds your hand ever so gently as he continues, "You've come so far, it's only natural that you come to an obstacle like this. You don't need to grow to prevent failure."

"It's not enough," you counter and attempt to release your hand from his hold.

"It's more than enough. I know your strengths and your weaknesses. Sometimes, our best isn't enough and that's okay. I know you, Lovebird," he says and kisses the back of your hand.

"You said you'd help me...," you trail off but don't fight the hand that holds yours for another kiss.

"Not when you're fighting for the wrong thing, I won't. I don't want to see you hurting yourself for the wrong reasons." Hawks flips your hand over to place a soft kiss to your palm and cup his face in it.