Words Unspoken

Requested by My Dear Friend (Hope you like!)


Hawks was down in the dumps recently and you came to his side faster than he could say no. It was always like this. Hawks would give you a call for just about anything, and like a pitiful puppy you were always at his beck and call. You wanted nothing more than to stay by his side, even if he didn't notice your feelings. It was more than enough to be the one person in his life he could rely on.


You unlocked his front door with your spare key and locked it behind you. The house was dark, but not enough to need the lights on. The windows were enough to see in front of you, especially the trail of feathers freckling the floor. You followed the trail, careful not to step on them, but picked up a single feather to let him know you were there.


You walked further into the house to see Hawks sunk deep in the couch with his head back. A small wet line trailed down his face to his jawline where a drop stained his shirt. He was crying.


You set down your keys and phone on the nearest table then filled a cup with water. You grabbed a pillow as you sat down next to him. Carefully, you lifted his head enough to sneak the pillow under his neck and handed him the cup.


Your hand reached to meet his cheek, but the small voice in your head stopped you. You weren't the right person for that job. Instead, you placed your hands in your lap and waited.


Hawks didn't bother drinking the water, and let the cup sit on his lap. His fingers enveloped the cup and played with the rim, as he seemed to be lost in thought. This wasn't the first time you've seen him in this state. He would get like this when he couldn't distract himself with overloads of work, work and more work. It wasn't healthy, but it kept his mind off the dark recesses of his memories that waited to strike when he was most vulnerable.


"Why am I here...?" He finally spoke.


His voice was broken, pained, and tired. It broke your heart to see him like this, when he tried his hardest to keep that cocky smile on his face and keep a positive attitude. He tried to be that glass half full guy, but you knew the truth. He was nowhere close to the that, not after seeing the cards fate had given him.


"You tell me," you responded. There was so much you'd rather say—more to confess—to plead you were his reason.


"What's the point when I'm all alone? When everyone leaves after taking a jab at me, and kicks me to the curb. What more can I take?" He asks you with a tone that didn't want answers. He just needed an outlet, and you would happily play the part.


But that didn't make it hurt any less.


"I'm tired... exhausted, even. How much more can a guy take before he's had enough?"


You knew his background—his childhood. You knew about his father and his mother. His life story and how he was turned to the Hero Public Safety Commission. The long and repeating story of being pushed aside countless times. Although he played the confident and determined character, he couldn't help but to welcome the dark thoughts when he was alone.


You didn't know what to say to him. You've tried comforting him in the past, but you knew now he just needed to let it out rather than push it down. He would be fine after talking to you and return to his usual schedule. Thus, continuing the incessant beat down of his mental state.


He opens his mouth but closes it to further sort out his thoughts. His eyes scan the wall across him as he tries to find the right words.


"Every time I think I've found my place, I'm sent away. But look at me now? I'm a top ranking hero—number two pro hero: the Wing Hero. The people love Pro Hero Hawks, not Keigo Takami," Hawks says as he clenches his fist into a tight ball and lets out a sigh.


You wanted to tell him he was wrong. That you were right there and will always be by his side. And that you would never stray. You wouldn't dare, not when you've found a piece of yourself you thought you lost.


"No one loved me when I was a nobody," Hawks groans the words in a slight mumble.


The shock and disbelief that flurried within you upon hearing his words made you blurt out your true feelings. The feelings you thought he would at least have an inkling of knowing.


"I did!" You confessed. You felt so betrayed like all the time you spent by his side was for naught.


He was taken aback by your sudden outburst. He couldn't remember the last time you raised your voice. Even more so with such desperation in your voice.


"I loved you even when you were a no name hero running to and fro for the commission. I loved you as you made a name for yourself to the general public." You felt a thick lump of emotions climbing up your throat and cling to your voice.


"I spent all this time by your side—sending you morning texts everyday, checking in on you when things didn't go right, lending you a shoulder to cry on, holding you when you felt lonely—," you stopped to swallow back the lump. "All I wanted was for you to realize I was here with you, and you don't even seem to care. You think you're all alone when I've been here this whole time, waiting for you to look at me."


You sucked in your lips to stop them from trembling then said, "I loved you and always had. If you can't seem to notice that, then I don't know why I'm even here."


You didn't mean to say it like that. You didn't mean to allude the idea that you were only there for his affection. That wasn't it at all, but your emotions were all riled up and you didn't want to be near him any longer.


You grab your keys and phone and storm out the house. This time you don't bother with closing the door behind you or locking it. What was the point? Hawks wouldn't care, he doesn't care about you. He didn't even recognize you as a friend. He just wants to wallow in his own self pity, while taking in your comfort until he has something else to complain about. You wanted Hawks to smile, and all Hawks wanted was a safety net.


***


Alternate Ending
"I did!" You confessed. You clenched your fists and tried to find the words.


"Before the money... before the fame... before the lie. To me, you were a somebody. Now you're nothing but a fake. A sham. A con. You're a joke..."


You turned away in hopes of recollecting yourself. But that didn't help when you heard an attempt of someone trying to hold in their laugh that came out as a snort. In response, the entire room exploded with laughter.


The director was keeled over in his chair and waved his hand saying through a fit of giggles, "Cut! Cut the film!"


You looked over at Keigo who was holding his stomach from laughing so hard and that set you off. You started laughing with the crew, and laughing even more seeing the lights jiggles and the mics almost flung across the room.


"Sorry, I forgot my line, what was it?" You asked as you tried to catch your breath and wipe a tear that threatened your makeup.


The director fanned himself with the script as he tried to welcome air back to his system. "Hell, I wish I knew too," he joked as he gasped for air after his small joke.


"I think it was 'Sebastian, the whale-washing dolphin'," Keigo answered as he started clicking his tongue much like the movie you were quoting.


A huff of laughter escaped your lips and you sucked in your lips to stop yourself from laughing even more. The director hid himself behind his script and shook in his chair like a maniac.


"Stop, I'm going to pee," begged an assistant as they held onto the nearest chair to keep from falling.


The director asked for water and chugged it before swinging his finger in the air. "Okay, okay, from the top! This time try to remember line from the right movie!"


You nodded and apologized with a smile as the MUAs fixed your makeup. Keigo took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before jumping to shake the last of giggles and nerves out.


"I'm ready," you said as the final touches were made to your makeup.

Comment