I woke up, but decided not to open my eyes yet. What I was lying on felt comfy and not like the dirt ground. I moved slightly and finally decided I wasn't dead. I finally opened my eyes and what I saw... was a ceiling. I recognized the ceiling unfortunately. The infirmary. Heck. I wish I was dead now.

I moved to sit up and winced. When I was finally sat up, I glanced down to see my arm in a sling and my entire left shoulder covered in bandages. I groaned. I was so pissed I was injured again. Was it worth it? I mean, we have our gear and Christa was unharmed. What else happened?

Then it hit me. I had accepted Reiner's apology finally, after all these months. Did I want that? I mean, I kinda felt bad for not apologizing sooner and he should know better by now. I only accepted it because I thought I might die. Why were those my last dying words though? I huffed at the thought and then heard the door open.

The nurse walked in and so did someone else. Instructor Shadis. I looked up and immediately stood up saluting with my right arm in respect.

"Don't rush yourself," he warned and then turned to the nurse. "What's the damage?"

"Her collarbone has been somewhat shattered and some muscle tissue was damaged, so she is unable to use her left arm for a long while," she stated and I grumbled a curse, clearly mad at myself. "It'll take about five months to heal everything and for her to be in tip top shape."

"Instructor! Please don't kick me out of the training corps. I'll heal fast. I promise," I begged, not wanting to leave here and risk life on the streets. At least I would have Xavier, Tina, and Quinn to go back to possibly.

"You're not being kicked out, soldier," Shadis stated. "But you're in no shape to be able to train and your reckless behavior on the exercise was absurd."

"Sir. I did it to ensure my comrades' safety. It may seem absurd to you, but from my point of view it was the right move," I said.

"Very well," he finally said. "However, since you can no longer do training, you're stuck on stable duty for as long as it takes for your arm to heal."

I nodded and saluted again, saying, "Yes sir."

He and the nurse left, and I sat back down on the bed. He thinks my actions were reckless, but in those moments I didn't care for my own well being. I cared for them. I smiled to myself. I guess this is really what friendship is. I began to giggle to myself at the thought. I actually felt so happy.

But, my happiness was cut short when I realized something. What did they think of me now? I put myself in danger. They must think I'm ridiculous and stupid for such a thing. I don't know if I can face them now. I don't want to find out what they think. I'll save this problem for another day, and rest up for tomorrow. I need to get ready for my new duties.

When I woke up the next morning, the nurse did a small check-up before leaving me. I rolled my eyes and then slowly struggled to dress myself. I pulled on my baby blue t-shirt along with my uniform pants and boots. I made sure my sling was secure and headed out of the infirmary.

It was somewhat early and everyone was most likely getting breakfast by now. I decided to take this time to go to the stables and get to work. I didn't want to run into anyone. I walked over to the stables and checked over the list on one of the boards. I needed to muck all of the stalls, refill their water buckets, and also put hay in each of their stalls.

I looked down the stable and sighed. There are so many horses and just one of me. Well, better get to work now. I took a rake and began to muck each stall. By the time I finished that, it was about noon. I'll do the hay first, since that's easier with one hand. I took a wheelbarrow of hay and moved it along with me as I put hay in each of the horses' stalls. It when by quicker then expected, so now all I need to do is put water in each bucket. This is going to be difficult.

I took each bucket and would take it to the water pump, just outside of the stables, fill it up as best as I could and then put it back in the stall. I had to do this too many times. I then made sure to muck each stall again, since a good amount of time had passed. When I finished all of the work, I was exhausted and it was sunset. I was hungry and thirsty, but afraid to go anywhere near the dining hall. I was a coward now.... Just like my father.

I screamed in frustration and then kicked over a wheelbarrow. I sighed and then laid down in a giant pile of hay. Since I have to do this all again tomorrow, I might as well sleep here. My eyes became heavy and I soon passed out, clearly tired. Doing anything with one arm sucks.

I woke up and it was about..... I wanna say eight in the morning. I don't know. I grabbed the muck rake and began to get to work. I was finished with all of the stalls faster than yesterday since I had more experience. I was about to get the wheelbarrow I kicked down, when I heard footsteps enter the stables.

"Who is there? I may have one arm, but I'm armed with a muck-rake," I said, trying to sound intimidating in a way.

"Please don't hurt me. I just came to see how you were."

I knew that small voice. It was Armin. I'm pretty surprised. When he finally came into view, I set my rake to the side and lifted up the wheelbarrow, beginning to fill it up with hay.

"What can I do for you, Armin?" I asked curiously.

"I came to check up on you," he stated again. "When I turned my report in, the other day, I asked where you were."

"Oh, well. Here I am," I responded with a fake smile. "My collarbone is kinda shattered and a bunch of my muscle tissue is damaged. So I'm useless for the next five months. So here I am!"

"Why haven't you come by to see everyone?" Armin questioned. "You're usually at least with Annie."

"Well.....I'm scared they'll look down on me for my actions," I admitted. "As the instructor stated, I was absurd."

"They're your friends. They'll understand," Armin commented. "They have been seriously worried about you. Even Reiner."

"Why would Reiner care? I accepted his apology. He has nothing to worry about," I responded and loaded more hay onto the wheelbarrow.

"I mean, you're not wrong," Armin said. "But your last words were accepting his apology and then apologizing for yourself. So, I think he feels guilty in a way."

"Well, he can come see me if he wants to talk," I replied and began to move the wheelbarrow closer to the stalls.

"Christa also feels terrible," Armin said quietly. "You did take her place and got seriously injured."

"I know. I made my choice," I said and threw some hay into one of the horse stalls. "I wanted to keep everyone safe."

"What made you so compelled to do such a thing?" Armin questioned.

I stood still and then said, "I've never had friends before. I've lived a very isolated life with nothing but a consistent schedule. I hated it. When my family died I was released from it, but at the cost of them. Now I'm making my own decisions and I feel... free."

After that, Armin left the stables and I continued to work. I was finally done by the evening and decided to do something daring. I was going to get dinner from the dining hall....but there was no way I was staying there.

I made my way to the dining hall and walked inside. When I walked in, everyone was quiet and stared at me. I've never felt so self conscious before. I decided to ignore the feeling and walked over to grab some food. I decided on just some bread and began to make my way back to the door, to leave. Getting dinner was already too much. I stopped when I bumped into someone and looked up to see Ymir.

She looked down at me as if she was furious, but stopped when she saw my pleading eyes. I just wanted to leave. Ymir sighed and then stepped aside, letting me make my escape. I then headed back to the stables, eating the bread I had grabbed. Man.....I'm such a coward.