(Jai's P.O.V.)
As I spoke, my heartbeat increased. It went from beating dangerously slow, to what a normal pace was for me. It was like saying whatever was on my mind, helps my body fight to save me. Though at the same time, I feel like speaking slowly kills me too? It's like if I say what I think, I help myself in a way. Yet, whenever I do, I end up hurting someone and I potentially end up losing that person. I'd rather never speak again and kill myself, rather than risk losing someone else.
When I was talking about love, I wonder if I said to much? I think I did. I bet I changed something in the mind of someone else and I'm not sure if I was supposed to do that. I didn't mean to change things in a bad way though! It's just that whenever someone asks me a question, I have thoughts that begin to race around in my head and they give me answers to say. I think what really gets to people, is the fact that my answers aren't always what they want to hear and that's when I begin to hurt people by mistake.
Dallas just stared at me in shock and I could feel my hands begin to shake. Beau and Luke were smiling at me for some reason and Damion was looking back at forth between Dallas and I. Dallas became teary eyed for a moment but, his tears quickly turned into rage and he looked at me with a new look of hatred. Damion saw what I did and he jumped in front of Dallas to prevent him from coming at me. See? What I say, only hurts.
Beau and Luke snapped into action as well. Beau helped Damion hold Dallas back and Luke stood in front of me just in case. My heart was pounding much faster than normal and I didn't know what to do! I didn't meant to upset him. What did I say that upset him so much anyway?
As I was thinking about these questions, Dallas had managed to throw Damion and Beau off of him and he was now trying to push Luke out of the way. Moving Luke would not be something easy to do and I prayed that it would be hard! Luke was punching, kicking, and swearing and Dallas was doing the same. It was like they were fighting for he same, yet two very different things! Dallas was fighting to hurt me, and Luke was fighting to protect me. Both were very different missions but, both had the same potential and that was the most frightening part.
Dallas managed to hit Luke on the side of the head, hard enough to knock him down, and that gave Dallas enough time to grab the collar of my shirt and slam me into the nearest wall. I cried out in pain as I felt a sharp pain shoot up my back. I used my eyes to look past Dallas, and I saw Luke passed out on the floor with Beau trying to wake him up. Damion was going through drawers, looking frantically for something and I was helplessly held against my will by Dallas.
I looked back at Dallas, straight into his eyes. Why? Because, everyone has a story and you can read it simply by looking at the persons eyes. Behind the eye color and the tears, there is a story. If I can just get a glimpse of what his was, then maybe I could try to help him.
He was breathing deeply and had a face of pure rage. I ignored it and tried to find his hidden story. In his eyes, I saw sadness and confusion all masked by anger. I saw grief, pain and loss. There was no sign of happiness, though there were hints of love crying out to be seen. Despite my fear and the fact that my words only seem to hurt, I had to say,
"You lost someone." He pushed me up against the wall harder. I screamed out again and I heard Beau cry and beg for Dallas to let me go.
"You know nothing!" Dallas growled but, little did he know that I did.
"You lost someone and you miss them. You're confused and angry at yourself because you think it's your fault right?" I said to him and then closed my eyes because, I expected him to hit me. When he didn't after a while, I slowly opened my eyes and saw that he had tears rolling down his face. He let go of me and I fell to the floor. He was crying and he ran hands through his hair over and over again. Beau ran over to me and engulfed me into a hug, while his hands began to run up and down my back. Damion was still trying to wake Luke up and once he succeeded, Luke scrambled to his feet and went to attack Dallas once more but I yelled,
"No don't! It's okay Luke. E-everything is alright."
Luke snapped his head at me and his eyes went from such a dark color, to a lighter and much more comforting one instead. He ran over to Beau and I and he hugged us both while rambling and saying things like,
"I'm sorry! I tried but, I failed, I wanted to but-I-I'm just sorry! It won't happen again I swear! I'm so sorry! I-I didn't-"
"Luke!" I interrupted him and he stopped to listen.
"It's okay. You can't expect to protect everyone and then hate yourself when you can't! You're only human." I told him and then hugged him tight.
All the while, Dallas was watching with tears still screaming down his face. Damion had come to stand near my brothers and I because, none of us knew what Dallas was capable of doing next and to be honest, I think we were ALL afraid. Damion gulped and whispered,
"He's never shed a tear. Not in all the years that he has been here!" My brothers and I looked at each other wide eyed and waited for what was to happen next. Dallas looked directly at us and wiped away his tears away before he said,
"I-I don't know how you knew all that. I've never told anyone."
I shrugged and said,
"Eyes have stories hidden inside them. Even the secrets that you've locked away forever are capable to be read through the eyes. It gives someone who is willing to help, a chance to do so."
"No one would have known that I was hurting though because, I've never cried! If anything I just...I just close my eyes. That way no one see what I have to hide. It's always worked! Up until now that is..." Dallas said. He simply didn't understand!
"Just because your eyes don't tear, doesn't mean your heart doean't cry. Sometimes the feelings of your heart reflect in your eyes. You close your eyes because, you think you can hide that way. Actually, that's why everyone closes their eyes! They think that it's a way to hide themselves." I told him.
"W-what do you mean? If you close your eyes, then no one can see what you're feeling or what you're going through. Right?" Dallas questioned.
"Wrong." I stated.
"Why?" Dallas wanted to know but, I shook my head. I can't tell him because, I've said enough. I'll hurt someone if I keep speaking.
"Nononono please! You have to tell me. I need to know! Please." His lips quivered and I didn't know what to do! I clung onto Luke and buried my face in his shoulder while I argued with myself about whether or not I should say another word. Luke kissed my head and in that moment, the arguments in my head ceased and I was able to make up my mind. I looked back at over to Dallas and noticed that he truly wanted an answer. I faced my fear of the moment and I opened my mouth to give the thoughts that raced around in my head the chance to come out.
"W-why do you think we close our eyes when we pray? We're practically asking for our hearts desires and we don't want anyone else to interfere with that so, we close our eyes during that time. Why do you think we close our eyes when we cry? We don't want anyone to see the pain in our heart so, we shut our eyes to hide the hurt. Why do you think we close our eyes to dream? It's the time we flutter our eyes shut to forbid anyone else from seeing what our hearts want. People think that everything you feel in your heart can be hidden when you close your eyes but, in reality, the moment you open those eyes back up, everything you've tried to hide in your heart can be read by someone who truly cares."
There. I said it.
"Then what you're saying is that everyone's feelings are ccompletely vulnerable?" Dallas asked.
"Well it depends if you want to put it that way. I mean if you're hurting and haven't told anyone yet, chances are that someone who really cares about you is going to take one simple glance at your eyes and know that something is wrong. It's not vulnerability. It becomes the only way your heart can cry out for help without you having to say a word."
"But what if your heart isn't sad or angry at all?" Dallas wanted to know more.
"Then your eyes become the way people see the happiness and love in your heart. Your eyes say a lot more than your mouth ever could." I said and hoped that I wouldn't have to say anything more.
The next thing I knew, the door flew open and interrupted the still silence that the room once had. A guy, much older than me, was breathing heavily and he had wide eyes for a reason I did not know. Dallas seemed to recognize the guy and he asked,
"Jack? What's going on?"
"The T.A.T. is coming tomorrow! It was scheduled to come by the end of the week but, there was a change of plans and it's coming TOMORROW! We ran out of time!" The guy, Jack, said frantically.
"T.A.T? Ran out of time? What's going on?" Beau asked.
"The Take Away Train. It comes every few weeks and it takes away some of the foster kids who need special help-"
"Though, it's really a train ride to hell." Damion interrupted but, Dallas soon continued on and said,
"We always try to hide or help some of the foster kids so that they don't get taken but, I don't think we can this time!" Dallas said fearfully.
Now that I think about it, Bia had mentioned something to me earlier about some of the foster kids being taken away because they need 'help'. Maybe this is what she meant? As a matter of fact, when I looked it the eyes of Jack, Dallas, and Damion, they all held the same look that Bia's eyes did.
Eyes of pure fear.
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That's that! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter ;)
What was your favorite statement/part of this chapter? What's your opinion on Dallas?
Please let me know because, it would be lovely for me to know what things you all enjoy so that can advance on those parts for you all :)
Thank you! Ily all♥︎