A/N sorry there are so many Jac parts right now, but I really want to tell this bit from her point of view.

Beep beep beep beep beep...
The alarm clock started to ring but Jac was already awake.
Beep beep beep beep beep...
The noise was almost comforting,despite the fact that it reminded her she got no sleep and that today she would be horrible and humiliate Petrenko and herself. She wanted to stay tucked up under those covers forever, but she knew that she had to try and get Emma home safe.

As she pulled into the car park, Jac noticed that Fletch was already here and that he had parked his car as far away from her spot as possible. I must've really hurt him...and now Frieda. She made her way up to her office,thankfully unnoticed. It was 7:43 am and she had another 17 minutes until her first surgery of the day,along with Frieda. She so desperately wanted to stop but she couldn't put Emma's life in danger. Buzz. Her phone.Her hand stretched over to grab it and quickly opened the text. It was of Emma. Running around chasing bubbles on a freshly mowed garden, a huge grin on her face. So she is having a lot more fun then she does with me. I'm such a terrible mother. Tears threatened to fall as she took the walk of shame to theatre. I'm just a few hours, she would be walking out of here,having made Frieda hate her. But that wasn't all she was supposed to do. She had to do more. I'm sorry, she thought, her mind pleading Frieda to forgive her.

She arrived in the operating room before her assistant. It was when she was washing her hands that a scrub nurse reminded her that Frieda would be taking the lead. I can do this just like before. She hated that.

Petrenko arrived about five minutes later having being held up with a patient who stayed overnight.
"Ms Naylor."
"Ms Petrenko."
Then silence. They both finished getting ready for surgery in silence. Jacs mind was full of events she could do. Just stick to the basics,they're painful. They both walked towards the patient,Frieda going towards the side where the lead stands. Jac saw this as a good opportunity and walked ever so slightly faster than her. She reached the side before she did.
"Scalpel." This was second nature to her. Frieda just stood there,mouth hanging open,arms on hips.
"I thought I was taking the lead on this thing." Anyone could hear hurt and confusion in her voice.
"Yes well I changed by mind. I'm taking the lead on this thing."
"But why,Ms Naylor?"
"Because you're too incompetent to be doing such a complex procedure. You can do suction." She added the last part with authority in her voice. Her colleague just stood there,as if she was glued to the spot.
"Right,let's get this show on the road," she mumbled whilst making the first incision.

Surgery took a lot longer than they both expected. Complications had resulted in him dying on the table. Why does this keep happening, maybe I'm the incompetent one. Frieda spoke,which snapped Jac out of her thoughts.
"Can I go tell the family or am I too 'incompetent' to do that?" The sarcastic tone in her voice was like none other Jac had heard before.
"Well, it is a bit just above your pay grade and skill level,but I think you can manage just this once. And at the end of the day I need to talk to you,my office." The younger surgeon just scowled at Jac,spun around and walked away. Today they both had shorter shifts,which meant they finished in three hours. Jac glanced at the clock hanging on the wall 12:47. The surgery was already long,but the complications made it longer. Petrenko was needed on Keller for the rest of the day so there wasn't a lot of time where she could humiliate her. I hate doing this,she thought as she walked to her office to continue the ever growing mounds of paperwork on her desk.

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There was a soft knock on her door. It sounded like it was reluctant,like it didn't want to be there.
"Come in."
The door knob turned slowly. Frieda stepped in and closed the door. She made no effort to sit down or look interested. She just stood there,arms folded,next to the door. Jac could see she was hurt by this morning still.
"So. Why did you humiliate me in theatre again and why did you call me here today, 'O Dark Mistress'?"
Jac pauses before she answered. Her phone buzzed from within a draw. It was encouraging her. There was no escape.
"Because it has come to my attention that you are incompetent. That you are distracted,your kind is elsewhere. There for you are unable to work properly."
Petrenko scoffed. "Oh wow I thought it was going to be a good reason as to why you would be such a bitch to me. After everything I've done for you. I didn't have to. But no. What do you do? You go humiliate me when my work is all I have."
The intensity was already rising and tears were forming in both Jac and Frieda's eyes.
"You are not the only one. You didn't have to help me. I never asked you to. I didn't want your help. I managed up until you came along. You know I don't ever get why you came back. You didn't think there were any opportunities here for you and you're right. There are none here for you. And do you know why? Because you are a stubborn coward who gets herself into a log of trouble. So why don't you do us all a favour and go back to Pakistan. At least there are people there who like you and are willing to help you." By the end she was shouting.Wasn't your best Naylor,hopefully enough for her to get the message.The junior surgeon just stood there, dumbstruck.
"You know what? Maybe I will go back to Pakistan. At least I don't have to put up with hypocrites who are just too pathetic to realise they need help. You are sick and twisted Jac. And I thought I could help you." She left and slammed the door behind her.
"I can't do this anymore..." Jac mumbled.

She left her office,silently making her way along the corridors.
Her feet ended up taking her to the roof,where she stood at the edge.
She was ready to let go. Ready to give up. Ready to give Emma a better mother. Tears were streaming down her pale skin. She watched as they fell and hit the ground,six stories down.
She thought of all the people she had hurt. And fletch. Especially Fletch. He had been so kind. And she had been so horrible.
She was ready to leave all these horrible things behind. She got ready to walk over the edge. She felt a breeze on her neck. A cold,bitter breeze.
"Well...it's been a blast." She muttered sarcastically. Her eyes closed as she drew her final breath.

"Hello Jacqueline..."