Chapter 3

A life spent together was something they Uruvi and Aman had always dreamt of. Evening strolls hand in hand at marine drive, were spent in sweet contemplations of their life together. But as the initial honeymoon phase wore off reality began to sink in. She didn't know when and how the changes set in but things began to sour out between them. 'Thers a huge difference between what we plan and what life plans for us', was a lesson learnt the hard way by her. Little things about him she used to overlook earlier began to irritate her now. Life set itself into a mechanical motion. Their marriage, it seemed had shifted something between them. The intense feeling she used to feel for him was replaced by a void. Maybe she had mistaken what she had felt for him, maybe she had considered a mere infatuation as love, maybe....... Back in those days when they fluttered as love birds he used to be her solace from the world, someone she could run to, when things seemed to be falling apart. His words and most of all his understanding nature made her worries seem trivial. Today why did the same understanding Aman not understand her? Was it she who had changed or him? Aman too seemed to have isolated himself from her. There was a time when he used to share every single detail of his life with her, told her every problem of his but now half of the time she didn't even know what he was doing. He used to be a diary of hers with whom she shared every single detail of her existence, but nowadays, silence prevailed upon their conversations. She didn't feel like sharing anything with him because he seemed so disinterested in their talks. Their life had become like a body without its soul. He never failed to be a good husband and she too was a dutiful wife. For a casual observer theirs seemed to be a perfect marriage but it was rotting at its core. She didn't exactly hate Aman and neither did he hate her for that matter. But the love that they once felt was no more present. The moment you start making efforts in order to love a person consider the love gone. Inspite of it being much evident to both of them that the marriage isn't working, none of them wanted to make an effort to address the elephant in the room. She resolved to talk this out with Aman at dinner. Things couldn't...shouldn't dangle like this for too long. Decisions would have to be made. She couldn't be in this limbo anymore. She mentally prepared herself for the conversation. Ding dong...ding dong..the bell rang with urgency. 'Coming..coming..', she ran to open the door. Aman walked in with his usual 'dont disturb me' look. This look of his was almost making her feel guilty to broach the topic. Afterall, he too was making efforts. The whole day he toiled in the office for their future and got home with a whole lot of his own problems to deal with. Back then he didn't have a job to keep him from her, didn't have much responsibilities to keep him from her. How could she expect him to be the same carefree lover as before when his responsibility was to be a dutibound husband. 'Aman....',she began but couldnt make herself share things with this person she didnt know anymore. 'What?', Aman asked. 'Nothing, I just...' Aman cut her midsentence with an 'ok'. He let it drop so easily! Didnt even try once to ask what it is! Tears pricked her eyes. Was this the person she bargained her entire life for?? She didn't let him see the tears sliding quietly down her cheeks. Carrying out the usual pretention of normalcy she continued with the dinner. She cleared the table after dinner and made her way to the bedroom. She heard a whisper 'Shona...' She wondered if her ears were ringing. It had been a long time since she last heard that call. Aman entered the room. 'What now?...you need something?',asked Uruvi. He came closer. Uruvi could sense a change in the atmosphere. Aman went ahead and scooped her into his arms. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips. A warmth settled within her. 'Shona, you have grown too mischevious...trying to break my promise ha?',said Aman. 'Sorry, which promise are you talking about?',asked Uruvi. Aman:' Aha! So now you pretend not to know the promise, my mischevious girl?'. Uruvi couldnt gather what Aman was getting at. Aman answered her frown with a light laugh. How much Uruvi missed that laugh of his!! Aman:' Remember, I had promised your parents to always keep you happy ? Uruvi:' Yes....' Aman:' Then what were today's waterworks meant for? I haven't gone so blind so as not to notice ur tears....' Recognition dawned Uruvi. The sense of pain and betrayal she felt earlier were replaced by warm tender love. Uruvi:' If you noticed them earlier then why didn't you confront me earlier? Aman:' I wanted to see if you would be kind enough to tell me your problem without me having to coax it out...Shona...who am I to you? If you want to share anything with me then just do so without any hesitation. It's only me shona,YOUR Aman, you are free to share anything with me. Now do tell me ,what is it ,that is troubling you?' Uruvi:' I know dear that I can confide in you without any second thoughts, but it's just that in the recent times we have grown too apart. It seems as if we never were in love. You tell me to share my problems, but are you ever present with me to hear them out? Relation is a two sided thing Aman, if you won't share things with me then why would I feel like doing so? We have grown apart Aman...we have grown apart....' She couldn't hold herself together anymore, she broke out into sobs. Aman pressed her closer to him. Aman:' I know, jaan...everything you said is right, I accept that things haven't been as we would like them to be but about one thing you are wrong. I still love you Shona and I cant express how much it is...but right now I'm not in the mood to be loved, please try to understand me. Uruvi:' Oh,so now I should love you based on your moods. I'm your better half Aman, dont I deserve to be with you in your troubles?....You are pushing me away Aman, this is not how things are supposed to be...' She unclasped his arms around her with a little more force than was needed and lay down on her side of the bed to sleep. She didn't have the energy in her for allegations and counter allegations. One moment this man made her feel so much in love with him and the very next moment he made her feel so cold towards him. Aman retreated to his side with a hurt look. Why couldnt this woman understand that he had a thousand problems to handle with right now!! Whispering sweet nothings into her ears wasnt his priority!!

Comment