Uruvi woke up with a start to the alarm set on her phone. She went upto the window and priced it open. Outside the day had not yet dawned. So quite was the ambience that even the winds did not dare break the silence. Not a leaf rustled. In a few hours, the roads would be bustling with activity, the entire place would be pulsating with energy. But for now, the place belonged to her and solely her. Now, when no one was by her side, not even her Aman, these trees and the surroundings seemed to give her company. For now, she felt one with the aura of the place. Her life felt barren and cold. She was startled out of her reverie by the cacophony of birds that had begun to pierce the silence. The surroundings were no longer barren, were no longer bereft of sounds and colours. The day was set to flourish leaving her yet again with a void. She wondered when the sunlight would stream into her life. She threw on some clothes, took her handbag and set out for work. She got into the train as usual and as usual she couldn't find a seat to sit. She stood there in the gap between two seats trying her best to balance herself. But since there was no overhead support present she was finding it hard to stand straight. Also the new entrants were further pushing her, making her task even more difficult. To add to her anguish the woman sitting in front of her was constantly staring at her. Gosh! Why couldn't these people mind their own business! Irking me with her stupid stares. The train halted at a station. Five people were already sitting in front of her on a bench made for three. One of them got up and began making her way out. The others on the bench sighed in relief. They were closing in on the space left behind by her but the lady who was staring at her clutched Uruvi's wrist and made her sit in that space. A sense of gratitude washed over her. The others were disgruntled. The woman sitting next to the lady asked her what was the need to make her sit in this already cramped space. The lady simply told her,"couldn't you see the child unable to stand there, it looked as if she would fall any moment, let her sit." One sentence of hers and the others were silenced. The lady seemed to command certain respect from others otherwise a wordfight was sure to have erupted. Uruvi felt ashamed for her earlier deduction of this caring lady. Never had she encountered such a person!! It wasn't such a great thing that the lady had did, but Uruvi felt as if she owed her a thanks. She tried to muster herself to say something but felt awkward doing so and kept her mouth shut. But Uruvi didn't have to make much efforts. The lady herself began a conversation with her." Beta..feeling better now na?...By the way..whats ur name?..I have never seen you around in this train.."
Uruvi,"ummm...my name is Uruvi. I..I guess I got in the train a bit early today. I travel on the next train. Aunty..."
The lady cut in-"No formalities beta. Everyone calls me aaji(grandma) and you should call me the same. Uruvi is a nice name. Which station do you get down at child?".
Now Uruvi was finding her annoying once again. Why was she being so chatty. God knows what her intentions were. Before Uruvi could say somthing aaji(everyone calls her aaji so i will too ;p) bade her goodbye. "Beta i would have liked to chat some more but my station has arrived. See you soon child...see you soon..." Uruvi wasn't able to form proper thoughts about aaji. She couldnt understand what her real intentions were. In this city where even aquaintences prefered to turn their face and walk away, why be so friendly with some random person? Aah!It's better to put down such useless doubts to rest, she already had a lot on her mind to think. The rest of the day felt quite uneventfull and repetitive. She reached home as usual, made dinner as usual, opened the door for Aman as usual with a shrug, as usual sat for dinner like two strangers.(arrgh!this is getting too much of usual, let me add some masala)
Aman-" About yesterday, Uruvi ...we need to speak."
Uruvi,"Aman, are you ok?...you are talking to me?...I mean a proper conversation?"
Aman," Enough of this sarcasm. Things aren't as flowery as you would like them to be but give me some time..why can't you be a bit patient..even I am trying...I am trying..."
Uruvi," 'try' is not what I want Aman..what I want is you...after leaving behind everything for you is this what I ought to get?.
Aman,"try ..is all that I can give at this moment...yes..you left everything behind for me..but take a look around..do you see my family with us?...no..right?..I have made sacrifices as well..I'm trying aswell. When you left your home you knew that the path ahead won't be easy, you knew I wont be able to provide much.."
Aman had been holding up this outburst for all these days but he couldn't bottle up his emotions anymore, couldn't take the accussations, anymore, couldn't bear the martyr looks anymore. Aman," Every moment I'm aware of the fact that you left your entire family behind for me. Do you have any idea how hard that makes things for me? How ca..."
Uruvi," Oh, now I get it. You mean to say you are bearing with me only because you feel I'm your responsibilty. I DON'T want to be your responsibilty. And if I'm becoming too much to handle for you then I absolve you of your so called responsibility. I'm leaving. I would have left long ago but do you know what was holding me back? This marriage. It happened after hurting so many loved ones, calling it off would have seemed ridiculous but I'm past caring about others now." With that she went on to stuff all her things she could find in a bag.
Aman-" Fine. You want to leave then leave. I did all that I could to make you understand. I dont want a person in my life who cant even understand my feelings. You may leave right now and I wont give a damn." Uruvi stood rooted to her place for sometime. She didn't know what she was expecting. Maybe somewhere she thought that Aman would ask her not to leave, convince her, atleast say something. But no that wasn't to happen. She left without a backward glance. Aman banged the door on her face with an expressionless face. He was too furious to be concerned about anything. Uruvi walked out of the building in a huff. The road was still choked with traffic. She wasn't in a frame of mind to think straight. Her head seemed to be exploding with pain and anger. She hailed an auto and without any thought, as was her usual ritual, she asked him to take her to the railway station. She needed some familiarity around her. The station was pretty much empty at this late hour. Now that she was beginning to think clearly she realized how foolhardy a decision it was to come to the deserted station at such a time. However much the city boasted of its modernness the treatment it meted out to a woman was quite pathetic. It was late, she couldn't risk being there for long. A train halted in front of her. Without much thought she got into the compartment in front of her. Oh what foolishness!! She didn't even know where she was heading. The compartment was empty. Her anger was now being replaced by fear. The train halted at a station. She thought of what she should do. Should she just get down here. But then where would she go. She didn't even know where she was. She wanted to break out into sobs there and then. Life seemed bleak. Decisions, calculations, all gone wrong...a life time of mistakes. A stray tear escaped her eyes. She controlled herself, made herself stable. She wouldn't break, not yet, not now! A dishevelled man entered the compartment. Alarm bells began ringing in her head. She thought of getting down but God knew what sort
of people were lurking out there at the station. The known is always better than the unknown. The man was approaching her with a leachorous grin. Uruvi wanted to shout out loud, call out for help but not a sound escaped her lips. He seemed to relish the fear in her eyes. Uruvi was feeling numb now. All this pain, this anger...she felt as if she couldn't feel anything anymore. She closed her eyes with submission. She couldn't.. didn't want to fight anything anymore.