126. Alone: Do you like to be alone or do you like having company?

Once upon a time there was a girl who was alone. She lived in past time, she lives in present time, and she will live in future time. She is everywhere and yet to ask anyone, she was not anywhere. She exists in all of us, and she is sometimes acknowledged but often ignored.

She is alone.

There is no one for her and everyone against her. No one persecutes her, but no one notices her, and that is just as bad. Sometimes she is there; she sits in a corner and watches the world through eyes no one meets. Sometimes she is gone, but she always returns. She always finds a way to return.

Do we like her? I do not, but I am her friend. She knows I will be there for her, and so she comes to me when I am weak and whispers in my ear. She herself is a product of weakness. She cries in her soul and hates herself.

She is alone.

Does she like herself? No. Does she like others? Sometimes. It depends on which one of her you meet. She is utterly dependent on you.

She is alone and it's sad.

She does not want to be alone. Her loneliness kills her. It takes her and drags her screaming into a place she does not know how to get out of without the very absence of the thing that caused her ruin. She needs people. She needs someone to be with her. It is the only cure for the sickness in herself, but it is the most rare antidote. Who will stand by someone, even though the very depths of their sinful self be revealed, in all of his dirtiness? Who can take the filth with the purity? Who can withstand that?

So she is alone, because she is.