this chapter is dedicated to @xeniasparacosm for her birthday gift! 🎉

twenty-three | zaiah loren is actually insane

ZAIAH DOLIVO

Should have I shut up? Yes, one hundred percent. Totally.

Did I? No. I spoke without thinking because that look on her face made my heart ache, an unfamiliar pain forming in my chest. And I didn't like that. Seeing her like this, sad and embarrassed. Especially if I am the reason.

She should be happy.

But now the tension in my room was tense. Neve was looking at me with her big blue eyes, her chest rising and falling slower than it normally would. Like what I've said took her breath away. She blinks a few times, opening her mouth from time to time but no words come out of her mouth.

I was nervous. I wanted to shake my leg so badly but I stopped myself. She can't know that I'm nervous. The heat was coming into my body and for some weird reason, it was getting so hot in there.

Neve gets up from the bed and comes to me with small steps and I wanted to get up from this damn chair and grab her face to kiss her because she was taking forever to come here.

After what felt like an eternity, Neve is positioning herself between my spread legs, slowly but surely cupping my face. She lifts my head. I could sense her hands shaking a little so I put mine on hers, thinking it might help her.

"Can I kiss you?" she whispered and those words made my heart stop beating for a second. And at that moment I knew, I knew why I forgot about that stupid charity party, or why I had that annoyingly urge to kiss her, or why I was so protective over her and why I was finding comfort in her. Because I like her. Or I love her. I don't know yet. But I know that I feel something for her. More than friendship feelings.

"Yes," I whisper back to her.

Neve was so close to me that I could hear her shaking breath and feel it on my face.

I didn't close my eyes. I wanted to see her every time I had the occasion. And I really wanted to see her now when she's about to do the thing I want to do every time I see her. Because she looked breathtaking.

Her blonde hair falling off her back, almost hitting my face. Her blue eyes are now fixed on my lips. Her lips were about to kiss mine.

But a knock on the door interrupted us. I and Neve tilted our heads towards the sound. "Zaiah, baby, the kitchen is on fire." my mother's voice is heard behind the door.

Neve was the first one to walk away, I was behind her. When I opened the door, my mom hysterically walked from left to right. "Oh, sweetie. We need to call the firefighters."

I ignored her and descended the stairs in a rush. Once I reached the kitchen I saw a roll of napkins on fire that was expanding to the other stuff on the counter.

"Shit!" I silently cuss and grab the closest thing I could find. My leather jacket that was thrown on the back of the chair.

I hit the fire a few times and I can hear my mom screaming at me to be careful.

When I was sure the fire was done, I threw my jacket in the sink and turned towards my mom. "Care to explain?" I ask while raising my eyebrows.

"Well sweetie, I was just trying to show Danielle a magic trick that includes fire and I accidentally burned my kitchen." She is playing with her leg without looking at me while explaining.

"Just be careful from now on, ok?" I sometimes feel I am her parent and have to take care of her. But she always took care of me so I guess it's my turn now. And I'm not complaining.

"Ok sweetie." she finally looks up at me.

"Well, I guess we should go. A lot happened tonight. Isn't that right, Nevaeh?" Miss Stolly was now looking at her daughter. Neve was starting to stare at the ceiling and pretending she didn't hear her mother. "What? Did you say something, Mom? My ears are slightly clogged."

I smile at the innocent human being in front of me.

Her mother rolls her eyes. "Let's go home."

"I'm sorry if this made you feel unwelcome or anything." My mom said that with a smile on her face but I knew she felt anxious about it. My father already did some bad things to them and my mother feels like she messed up her apology.

"Don't worry, Miss Daisy. It was a good night. I hadn't had one in a few years. Thank you. Really." My mom lets out a sigh of relief.

"Let me see you out." The brunette woman tells them and beckons me to follow her.

I don't wait for her to tell me twice. I put myself next to Neve and we all started walking to the door. My mom and Neve's mom were talking about something I really didn't care about. I was just looking at Nevaeh. I know she could feel my eyes scanning her but she did not dare to look up at me. Probably embarrassment took over her because I knew Neve wouldn't have the courage to kiss me. She dared to do many things but not kiss me. It was the heat of the moment.

When we were finally arriving at the door, Neve finally had the courage to look at me. She gave me a flat-awkward smile and after holding my gaze for a few seconds, she looked away. And I really wanted to go next to her and turn her head towards me.

"Thank you for this dinner. Have a good night!" Miss Stolly said.

"No worries. You're welcome anytime."

With that, they started walking away and my mom closed the door. "So, did you have the chance to talk to Nevaeh?"

"Don't even start it, Mom. You ruined our moment."

━━

I was now waiting in front of Nevaeh's house. My brother, Tamara, and I were already in the car. The two of them were sitting in the front because my brother was driving. Even though my mother knows that the car accident wasn't an accident, she still doesn't let me drive. We had to beg her to let Carl drive. Basically for hours. She insisted on calling a limousine but we convinced her not to.

"She texted me and said she'll eat a pancake and come out," Tamara said.

Why didn't she text me?

"Does she really have to eat pancakes now?" I say irritating but not because she's eating pancakes. She can eat as many pancakes as possible. I'm irritated that she didn't text me. She is avoiding me.

We were supposed to go shopping together but she canceled at the last minute saying "Zaiah, I'm really sorry but I just realized I have a dress at home so I shouldn't go shopping. My mom is struggling with money right now so I don't want to bother her. Truly sorry. See you tonight!"

She didn't even call. She texted me.

And throws that lame 'my mom doesn't have money at the moment' excuse like I didn't give her 30,000 euros for this deal. I doubt she spent all of this money.

But Tamara accidentally told me that the two of them went out shopping.

"And for everyone complaining; y'all should be grateful that I didn't eat more." Tam continues Neve's message and I let out a chuckle.

I get out of the car so I should be able to open the car door for her. And the moment she left the house, I felt my breath stop for a split second. 

The dress that she was wearing was a V-neck dress, it was long, reaching the ground. The color was matching her skin, a whiteish color decorated with roses and foliage. The dress was fitting her perfectly like it was made for her.

Her hair was straighter than usual and two little sections of hair were surrounded by white ribbons.

And before I knew it, she was in front of me. It was like time stopped when I saw her.

I shake my head and open the car door. She thanks me and gets in. In a few seconds I was next to her.

It felt awkward between us. Because of her. Because if it was after me, we would be very much together right now.

And I wanted to hold her hand. And I wanted to kiss her. And I wanted to rest my head on her shoulder or kiss her neck. But what if she doesn't want that? What if she finds that uncomfortable? I know better than everyone how that feels. And I don't want to make other people feel the same way. Especially her.

"Did you hear me?" her voice rang in my ears. I turn my head towards her.

"What?"

"I said I like your outfit." She said with a smile but the only thing that was crossing my mind was: she isn't avoiding me anymore.

"Oh, thank you." I look at my outfit. Some green oversized trousers, and a dark green blouse underneath my oversized green suit jacket. Even though they are oversized, they don't bother me or my moves.

"Sorry, I couldn't go shopping with you. But my mom really struggles right now and-"

"Sure, Neve. I totally understand. No need to explain." I cut her off. I didn't want to hear her excuses. I wanted to hear an explanation of why she was avoiding me. I don't mind hearing the truth. I rather hear that than some lame excuses.

She frowned her eyebrows. I moved my gaze and saw Tamara looking at me in the rearview mirror. I raise an eyebrow. She looks away.

All the way towards the charity party, me and her made small talk while my brother and his girlfriend (how did he get a girlfriend before me?) were in their own world.

I hated small talk. Especially with her. She always had something to talk about. And there was a moment, it feels like years ago, that I wished she made small talk. But now? I love the sound of her voice and everything she has to say.

The charity party was full of wealthy people and their billion dollar clothes. Nobody is actually here to donate, they are here to show off. And I'm here to destroy my father even worse.

I'm here to tell you every single little thing he did to us. From beating to starvation and humiliation. There are cameras everywhere. So every single one from here has to stop doing business and ally with him. Because this shit would be on television and if they don't stop, everyone would point a finger at them, stop doing business with them, break contracts, and so on. Nobody would risk that for him.

I take the first glass of champagne that I see on my radar. I get rid of the liquor in the glass in less than ten seconds. "Slow down, big guy." My brother is telling me in a joking way but I know he is worried about me. He doesn't know what I am about to do but I know he would try to stop me if he found out.

At the table, there were other cups of champagne and I devoured this, too. I couldn't do this sober.

"Hey, are you okay?" Neve is putting her hand on my back and whispers so only I could be able to hear her.

I nod. "I'm okay," I assure her with a nod.

She doesn't really seem to believe me but she drops the subject along with her hand, leaving my back cold and empty.

A few more drinks later, Neve started speaking. I don't know how but the only voice I hear it's hers. "I need to go to the restroom. Are you sure you're okay?" I suppose she is talking to me.

"Yeah, Neve, I'm totally okay," I tell her the truth. I'm about to destroy Nick. I'm better than okay. I've waited for this since I could remember.

"You sure?" I nod.

"Want me to come?" Tam asks her friend. She shakes her head and leaves.

I take a deep breath before I speak. "I'll go to the bathroom real quick."

Carl knew something was wrong. "Zaiah, where are you going?" I ignore him.

"Zaiah!" he screams again when I am close to the platform on which the microphone is located.

There was someone speaking into the microphone but I pushed the person. I didn't care about who they were at this moment.

"Attention to me please!" I scream into the microphone and the loud sound makes everyone turn their head toward me. "I think you know who I am. I've been on the news for the past few days. If you live under a rock let me introduce myself. I'm Zaiah, Nick Dolivo's child. And I'm here to tell you how much of an asshole he is."

Everybody's eyes were on me. Everyone was whispering to themselves and to the people next to them.

My heart was beating fast, everything in me felt like it was shaking but my voice was loud and clear. "It all started since, well, since I could remember. The first time he laid his hand on me was when I broke a cup. He came into the kitchen and started to yell at me, telling me how useless I am, and how stupid I am. I started crying, obviously, and he told me to shut up. I cried even harder. And he slapped me across the face."

As I recall the painful memory, tears are forming in my eyes but I don't let them fall. "His worst beating was a few years ago, maybe two. I came home totally angry about something I can't even remember now. He was in the living room, watching the news about a boy being killed by his father. He was being his annoying and egoistic self and I just couldn't shut up when he started talking shit about my mother. So we started fighting, and he yelled so many insults about my brother, my mother, and me. And then, when he was tired of screaming, he started hitting me. I fight back at first, trying to defend myself. But after some time I thought to myself 'What if I just stop? What if I let him kill me and get over with this shitty life?' Of course, I didn't because I'm still here. He ended up breaking my nose, three ribs and he was so close to putting me into a coma."

I could see Neve in the front row, close to the platform, with tears in her eyes as she heard what I had said. I ignore her for the moment.

"He used to starve us when we didn't obey him. I think the longest starvation for me was about 3 days. Of course, he gave me water because he didn't want me to die. Who would he beat if I died? Oh, and he also used to humiliate us. Me. I didn't want to go on a trip because I'm pretty sure you know what happened there. He was so fed up with me so he beat me up and then took off all of my clothes and underwear. He forced me to walk into the living room where every single employee was. My mother and brother were locked in their room, by the way."

Every single person was looking at me with a shocked look on their face. Some had their hands to their heart to show pity, others were wiping their tears.

"And after all that, I wanted to humiliate him, too. So I got a fake girlfriend. A poor fake girlfriend. Because he absolutely hates poor people. And my plan was to come here with him and my fake girlfriend, talk about all of this and him being absolutely humiliated while losing every business partner he has. But that didn't happen because he is in prison right now because he blackmailed someone to hurt me. But he also hurt my fake girlfriend and I just got so angry and I published the tape."

I breathe before talking again. Because what I am about to say seemed like the craziest and most normal thing to do. "Now about my fake girlfriend. Nevaeh Stolly. The sweetest person I have ever met. She has this thing that makes her so easy to like,to love. She's funny, very positive, such a good listener and has an unhealthy obsession with pancakes. She's been there since day 1. I talk about years ago when I returned home after the first weekend of hell. She was such a lovely child. She came to me with a real smile, practically forcing me to be her friend." I can hear her laugh and I smile without looking at her.

"She taught me how to make paper rings the first day we met. She basically had to do the whole conversation because I was barely talking. But that didn't stop her from talking. And that paper ring pretty much kept me alive. The memory of her. She seemed so happy and so carefree. She seemed to be surrounded by love. She felt like that breeze of sun on a cold day. And I thought to myself 'I want to be like that.'' and that's why I kept fighting. My wish is to become like her. And in this fake relationship, I caught feeling. Real feelings." I looked at her and her gaze was soft, not surprised. I bet she already knew I had feelings for her. Since then, in my room.

"I don't know how, it just happened. I always felt happy around her, she always found a way to make me forget about things. And day by day, my feelings for her accumulated until I forgot about this charity party. And everything just seemed natural. Like we were in a real relationship and everything was real and no deal was involved. But I could stay here and talk about her for hours but I really need to ask her something."

With shaky hands, I move my hands toward the inner pocket of my suit and take out our paper ring. I take one look before I say the words out. "Nevaeh Stolly, I want to ask you if you would give me the honor of being my girlfriend."

Neve's jaw dropped and then she closed it, and dropped again and closed it again. She started making confusing faces and looking around like some answer was written there.

"Go there, you blondie!" I recognize this voice. It was Love's voice.

Neve seemed to hear it because she started walking towards me.

Now she was in front of me. "Zaiah Loren, you're actually insane!" she said with a smile that in a few seconds became a laugh.

"So, is this a yes?" I ask in a soft voice.

"Of course!"

And I kissed her.