chapter twenty | the truth

ZAIAH DOLIVO

There was blood. There was sweating. There was anger and pain and suffering. There were a lot of things I couldn't be sure about. But one thing I know was this; I didn't feel mercy towards him. Not even a bit. Not at all. He didn't deserve it.

"Sweetie, please calm down." The sad, broken voice of my mother makes me realise what happened. It was just like a trigger and once she spoke up I finally became aware of what I have done. Yes, I beat up my father before but not like this. His eyes are closed and they don't seem to open. But I could feel his stomach rising up and down.

I don't know what scares me the most. The fact that I did that or the fact that I hate myself for not doing it correctly.

"Please…" she demands again, her arms circling around my shoulder and I break. I let out a shaking sigh and let my body weight be supported by my mom.

She carefully gets me off that scumbag but never, not even for a second, lets go of me. "What happened to my sweet boys?" I don't know if she's talking with me, or Carl or with herself. "What did that monster do to my beautiful boys?" Now she's screaming, and I know that heartbreaking, angry scream was for my father.

"A lot, mom," I whisper, a part of me not wanting her to hear. I didn't want to hurt her anymore. She's been through a lot. My mom knows him longer than me and Carl have. She was the one that had to sleep next to him every night. She was the one that had to marry him. She was the one who had to carry his kids. My mom had to look us in the eyes every day and see his image but she still loved us with all her heart and took care of us as every normal mother did.

Another set of arms comes at us and I can already see who it was. Carl. My brother, my little brother and my platonic soulmate. My friend who stood next to me at every step I took in this life. He always stood behind me, in my shadow, enjoying the silence and the protection, and caught me every time I fell and put me back on my feet. The one who held my hand throughout the darkness and never let go of it even though the light had come over us. My long-time best friend. My saviour.

Nick moves his body in pain but that didn't stop him from laughing. "Such a beautiful family moment. I'm not invited?" I want to get up, to break his head and take that goddamn tongue from his mouth.

But my mother, leaving our hug, stops me. She kicks him in the face. "Tam or Nevaeh please call the ambulance. He's gonna get blood on my new carpet."

I turn my head towards them and realise that they are there. I completely lost it and just let all of my anger out. I didn't care if they saw me. I had every right to do what I did.

"Hello, umm, I need an ambulance on Lavender Street, number 5. Please hurry! There is a man bleeding in here." Neve closes the call and starts speaking again. "They will be here in about 5 minutes."

And she wasn't wrong. In exactly 5 minutes, paramedics were here and put Nick on a stretcher, asking him all sorts of questions to see if he had a concussion or not.

The house was empty and silent since he left. Nobody dared to say something.

Neve and Tamara are sitting together, looking at us with softness in their eyes. Not fear, or pitying or disgust. Just soft, calm, pure eyes. A look that brings me a tiny, little smile on my face.

"I don't need you to tell me right now. I just need to let both of you know that I'll be here when you want to talk about it. Always." She talks to us in a soft tone, her hands cupping our faces. And then she kisses our foreheads, her lips being as warm as I remembered.

"He did a lot, mom. But that doesn't matter because he'll pay for it." I tell her the truth. I'll make Nick pay for everything. I just have to wait for the right moment. And I am a patient person.

"I'm sure God will punish him, sweetie."

I am no God, mom. But I'll make sure I'll be his Devil.

"Of course, mom," Carl agreed with her, but he doesn't know what I plan to do. Only Neve knows. And I just knew she wouldn't stop me.

And even if she did, I would carefully push her out of my way and make sure that I and Carl get the justice we deserve.

━━

"Johnny Johnson wants to talk to you, mister Dolivo." As soon as I hear this, I regret answering the call.

That motherfucker was the one who caused the accident. That almost killed Neve and me. The police found him a few days later and arrested him within 24 hours. And now he has the nerve to talk to me? Some people really have no shame.

"Tell that scumbag that he can go and kill himself and never contact me again." I'm ready to close the call but the policeman's voice stops me.

"He said he wants to talk about your father." my hand stops mid-air and I bring my phone back to my ear.

How does he know my father? What does he want to tell me? What it's that important? What did my father do?

So many questions but no answer. And I need to know. "I'll be there," I say and this time close the call.

I get up from the bed and quickly put a jacket on me and leave my room.

In the living room, Carl and mom were sitting there, hugging each other and looking at the TV and I can't help but smile. This is how they should be. Happy, no worries in the world and at peace.

"I'm going to take a breath of fresh air, mom," I announced to her and my mom turned her head towards me.

"Are you sure sweetheart? Don't you want to come and sit with us?" she smiled weakly at me. She asked me this earlier but I still refused. I needed some time alone.

"I'm sure," I assured her.

She sighs, clearly disappointed but doesn't insist. "Well, be careful, ok? And no motorcycle!" She lifts up her index finger to look more serious.

"I know, mom." She tells me that every day since the accident.

I left the house and started walking, the only light coming from the lanterns on the streets. It was about 9 pm and the night was already settled down.

After Nick was gone from the house and after mom had comforted us, Neve and Tamara wanted to leave so they could give us some privacy. But I didn't want Neve to leave. I wanted her to stay with me, I didn't care if she talked or not. I just wanted her next to me. For some weird reason, I felt safe next to her. Maybe it was the reaction she had earlier, protecting me from my father or maybe because of the first day we met. She was so happy and carefree and I thought to myself 'maybe I can be like her someday.'. And sometimes I wonder if she's the reason I made it this far.

With so many thoughts, I almost miss the prison.

Inside I could see many police officers and guards that were probably waiting for me so they could take me to Johnny. After all, I was the son of one of the richest families around here. I should be protected.

"Please follow me, mister Dolivo." The same voice that called me is ringing through my ears.

I followed him and behind me sat two guards. One was a woman and the other was a man.

Visiting hours shouldn't happen at this hour, but I guess Johnny boy really wanted to talk to me about my father and that makes me wonder what he wants.

I end up in the visiting rooms and I can see Johnny. He had bruises on his face, his head was shaved and the orange clothes were surprisingly clean.

I put myself on the chair and I looked at him. And I want to hit him. Because of him, Neve could have died. He hurt her. He hurt Nevaeh.

"I'm sorry, young boy." His voice cracked mid-sentence.

"I don't give a flying shit, Johnny boy. You hurt her and now you think you can just apologise? No fucking way. You should beg her on your knees for her forgiveness." My voice was serious, I articulated every word and took everything in me not to hit him.

"I didn't know that she was in the car." His voice was low but I could hear him. Loud and clear.

I frown my eyebrows. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"She wasn't supposed to be there." He started and finally looked me in the eyes. "Nick Dolivo had helped a few years ago and I owed him a favour. And a few weeks ago, he called asking me to hurt his son. I immediately said no. How could I do that? I wasn't a monster. But he threatened my family. My daughter and wife. And no matter how much I hated the idea, I didn't have any other choice."

I freeze and don't even blink. I listen to him and try to ignore the sound of my heart beating so fast. "And to make me feel better maybe he started to tell me how horrible you are. That you are abusive, that you hurt your girlfriend, you hit her, rape her, abuse her. And I felt more at peace with myself. So I started to follow you. I was next to the bathroom when your brother told you to give him your motorbike. And I found the perfect idea. A car accident."

He stops and takes a big breath of air before continuing. "I got in my car and drove to the perfect spot and waited for the right moment and when I saw you, I hit the car. But I swear on my daughter that I didn't know she was in the car."

Everything was spinning around me. His words, the old memories, the new information. Everything was a mess. I knew dad hated me, I felt the same. But to go this far? His son could have died. But he didn't care. Cause when did he care? When he took me and Carl on those vacations? When he touched us? When he broke us? When he tried to kill me? He never did.

"Why did you tell me this? Didn't you think I was an abusive piece of shit?"

"Because I was there, watching you, not knowing what to do about the girl. I was there and I saw you. How you screamed her name until your voice was almost dying, how you did everything in your power to go next to her, how you ignored your own pain to go next to her. I saw everything and I knew at that moment that you could never hurt her. Because this is how I would react if my wife was there. I would rather cut my own hands than hurt her. And I know you would do the same."

And there comes the spinning again. His words were so loud inside me and I couldn't shut them down. No matter how much I tried.

"I know I don't deserve forgiveness but I just wanted you to know. You deserve to know that. Your girlfriend deserves to know that." His eyes were glued to the floor, too ashamed to look at my gaze.

"My girlfriend forgives you. I forgive you." The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. But he needed to hear this.

And I know Neve doesn't know about this but I'm sure she would forgive him if she heard him.

"What?" He doesn't seem to believe me.

"I know better than anyone how cruel Nick can be. And I understand why you did it. And I appreciate the fact that you could tell me that." His eyes widened and didn't know what to say.

I get up from the chair and leave but his voice makes me turn my head. "Thank you."

I just nod and leave the room with the two guards behind me and the policeman on my right. "Hire him the best lawyer you know. I'll pay for everything." I'm going to get this man out of jail. And Nick Dolivo is gonna take his place.

I increase my steps with every step I take, I feel the anger going bigger and bigger. I feel my blood boiling inside me. I feel how that little, almost nonexistent love I had once for my father leaves my heart and everything becomes hatred. Every single part.

I'm going to get Johnny out of jail. And my father is gonna take his place. Because I am going to publish that tape right now. Because that was the stuffing that finally filled the glass. 'Cause I told him many times before not to mess with the people I care about. And he messed with Neve.