"DANIELLE AND I ARE HAVING A BABY!" Jacob screeches, the stilts of the building shaking.

"No I'm not," Danielle frowns, her hands on her hips.

"This is the only way I won't get kicked out," Jacob whispers.

Danielle nods approvingly and she fixes on a huge smile.

"Yas! I am pregnant!" Danielle gushes, "we're gonna name our baby Sebastian Bails, she's a girl and she is currently 10 years old!"

All of us except for Danielle's posse groan and we smack our heads with our hands. It is at this moment when I really start to question if Danielle ever went to school.

-- ------ --

Eva Trend P.O.V

"So, I'm arranging my baby shower. Sarah, Zoe, Brooke and Eva, yall are my bridesmaids. Cash, Maverick, Payton and Mychaelade, yall are Jacob's groomsmen or whatever. Lauren, you're the ring bearer. Sebastian, you're the flower girl. Trinity and Paige, you're the page. You guys hold my wedding dress while I walk and it's gonna look awesome. Noen and Lil huddy, you're the guys who are gonna make speeches about how awesome Jacob and I are. Paris, I just don't like you enough for you to be a part of the wedding. You can have a seat at the back."

Danielle rambles on and on at the dinner table. To her credit, we are all acting really happy for her. I mean, she is 'pregnant' after all.

"Congrats." Sarah says unconvincingly.

The manager comes out with a huge plate that has a slice of vanilla cake situated on top. There's chocolate icing that reads out 'Congratulations... though we don't think you're pregnant'.

"Here you go ma'am-" he starts, but Jacob snatches the cake off of him with surprising speed.

Jacob takes a fork and sticks it in the middle of the cake and starts swirling it around until it becomes a huge puddle a white goop. He then takes out his spoon and starts slurping on it, as if it was soup. The manager looks like he's about to vomit.

Sebastian takes out his plate filled with sliced oranges and starts sucking on them very loudly while Danielle tries to explain more of the baby shower plans. She is not impressed. The manager passes out.

"Why can't I be the flower boy? I'm not a girl," Sebastian muffles as he sucks loudly on his oranges.

"Also, this is a baby shower, not a wedding." Charli adds in, "hey... Why am I not in the plans?"

Danielle shrugs and goes to apply a freshly new layer of makeup. Jacob finally finishes his free dessert and rubs his stomach.

"Yum yum, good for my tum." Jacob quietly chants as we all try to block the vision of him eating the baby flounder he ate while we were in melbourne. Or at camp. I am unsuccessful.

Suddenly while Noen is eating one of his oysters, he starts coughing really quickly. Like he's just struggling to breathe. He's choking.

"FUCK... MY... LIFE..." Noen coughs as bits of seafood comes out of his mouth.

"Alright," the guide says, "now that is over, we're supposed to have our opera show in 50 minutes; we should be leaving now."

"Noen's choking on food!" Maverick concerningly says as Noen starts gasping for air.

"Nah he'll be alright," the guide dismisses.

"Bro you are actually useless," Lilhuddy lowly says, patting his friend on the back. Luckily Noen coughs out the whole oyster and he's fine.

We leave the seafood buffet and do a 5 minute walk to the opera house. Paris and Danielle trail around at the back, whispering to each other. They're planning something big, something very big because Sarah, Zoe, Jacob and them are all eyeing us suspiciously while they talk.

"Tickets please," the inspector says as soon as we arrive at the gates. The guide hands over the booking details and we are all given a ticket each.

"What show are we watching?" Danielle asks, disdainfully looking at her seating place. We're sitting at the back. Big deal.

"The Lion King," Paige shrugs, "I used to love that musical."

"Mufasa!" Jacob chirps, chiddingly prancing around. Accidently knocking into Sebastian who was drinking orange juice. It spills all over onto him, and his tan starts streaking.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Danielle says, checking her complexion with her compact mirror, "Jacob, Sarah, Zoe and Paris. Come with me."

The group leaves towards the bathrooms and we all look suspiciously at them. We watch as they round the corner and disappear.

"We should take our seats," Mychaelade suggests.

We enter the seating area and instantly go to our phones, posting tiktoks and instagram posts about where we are. Jacob and Danielle aren't here, we have to take advantage of that.

"NAZI VENIAAAAAAAA, BABAKITHI BOBO!" Comes a call from the stage.

I don't know why, but I recognise this voice. Also, it doesn't really sound like singing either. Maybe it's just an african thing.

The curtains draw open and I can see Rafiki, standing in this one position. Only it isn't the actor that plays rafiki. I can see light blonde locks pulled back in a ponytail and a familiar glint of blue eyes.

"Zoe?" Paige gasps in horror, shielding her eyes from the sight. Zoe was dressed up really well as rafiki, I'm just wondering how she got past security.

Suddenly, I can see Mufasa and Sarabi enter the stage with baby simba. Only, Mufasa is Jacob and Sarabi is the actual actor. The actor that plays Sarabi looks really confused and uncomfortable, but goes along with it. I can only imagine what she's thinking.

"IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!" Zoe sings, walking around the stage to pride rock with Jacob and Sarabi.

"AND IT MOVES US ALL!" The whole ensemble rings out, attempting to drown out Zoe's horrible singing. "THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE! THROUGH FAITH AND LOVE! TILL WE FIND OUR PLACE, ON THE PATH UNWINDING! IT'S THE CIRCLE! THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!"

Just as they are going to repeat the chorus, I can see Jacob fix on his microphone. Oh no...

"IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!"

"YUMMY YUMMY YUM I LOVE PANCAKES!" Jacob adds in after.

"AND IT MOVES US ALL!"

"THROUGH DESPAIR AND SORROW!" Jacob sings even louder, "THROUGH SADNESS AND BETRAYAL! TILL WE FIND OUR PLACE! ON THE PATH UNWINDING! IT'S THE CIRCLE, THE CIRCLE OF DEATH!"

The whole stage goes black and we can hear the questioning applause of the audience. Kids are crying while mums are talking amongst themselves, threatening to sue broadway.

Suddenly, the stage illuminates and I can see Scar. Only, it's Sarah.

The actor for Zazu comes on and starts delivering his lines, and Sarah somehow actually knows the correct lines because I can sense the smiles of the audience in front of me. I was going to breathe a sigh of relief and sit back and enjoy the show, until Jacob came onstage.

"SCAR!" Jacob screams, "SARABI AND I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE PRESENTATION OF SIMBA!"

"Oh that was today? Must've, slipped my mind..." Sarah replies, taking off and walking around the stage.

"As the king's brother, you should've been first in line!" Zazu argues.

"I was first in line, until the little hairball was born!"

"Do NOT CALL SIMBA A HAIRBALL!" Jacob cries, actual tears rolling down his cheeks.

Everyone starts whispering around things like 'did they make changes to the lines' or 'what is going on?'

"DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME SCAR!" Jacob screams at Sarah.

"Oh no Mufasa, perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me."

"Is that a challenge to a lasagna eating contest?" Jacob seethes.

Sarah looks confused for a moment and wipes her perfect porcelain face.

"Oh no Mufasa, I wouldn't dream of challenging you."

"Pity, why not?" Zazu says.

"I WILL EAT YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP ZAZU!" Jacob lashes out, pushing Zazu off the stage and into the orchestra pit.

Everyone gasps as soon as they hear a thud, along with the sound of piano keys and violins being thumped into each other.

The scene goes black and the actors leave the stage. The next scene continues and it's Jacob with young simba. Only, young Simba is Danielle. I'm not looking forward to this.

"Look out to the kingdom simba, one day you will rule this shithole-"

There is a loud gasp from the audience and everyone is suddenly jeering at Jacob. They throw rotten tomatoes and bits of leftover food onto the stage. Someone even went as far as throwing an oxygen tank which hit someone playing the bushes.

"PLAY MY SONG!" Jacob screeches.

The audio for 'they live in you' starts playing and Jacob plasters a smile on his face.

"Lasagna," he starts, "is the spirit of life... Eating...."

"Oh oh iyo," the ensemble calls.

"Oh yummy!" Jacob squeals, "and a voice... With the fear of a child, eating..."

"Oh oh iyo!"

"Oh, yummy!"

"Oh oh iyo!"

"Simba, look into the stars, this is where all the past kings died from eating lasagna!"

Danielle looks around like she's surprised and starts smiling.

"WAIT!" Jacob returns to singing.

"Wait, wait wait wait..." The ensemble sings.

"THERE'S NO CORNCHIP TOO GREAT! HERE THESE WORDS AND EAT IT! OHHHHHHH, EAT IT!"

"He la, hememela, he la hememala, he la hememela, he la!"

"LASAGNA LIVES IN YOU!" Jacob sings, "IT LIVES IN ME! IT'S WATCHING OVER, EVERYTHING WE EAT! IN EVERY CREATURE, IN EVERY STAR. IN YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM! LASAGNA LIVES IN YOU..."

Suddenly Paris gets on stage.

"PLAY MY SONG, SHADOWLAND!"

The intro to shadowland starts playing and I groan back into my seat. Could this get any worse?

"Shadowland," Paris attempts to sing, but ends up sounding like a fork being scraped on a plate. "Scar took my chocolate fountain, this shadowland! My chocolate fountain is gone! No more cocaine! And no more sweetness... So I must go, now I must go!"

The lionesses get on stage and start doing their choreography which Paris doesn't like, so she starts pushing them off one by one.

"And where the journey may lead me... GET OFF THE STAGE!... Let this bumblebee... FALL BITCH... be my guide!"

She holds out a bumblebee that starts fluttering and stinging all the remaining lionesses on stage. They all faint and fall in the orchestra pit.

There's a huge clatter of instruments, and the music stops. The only thing we could really hear was Paris' dreadful voice and a triangle quietly dinging.

"Though it may sting me, in the eyes. I must find my chocolate fountain!"

"Alright that's enough," the security guy says, cutting off the music and carrying Jacob, Danielle, Zoe and Paris off the stage. He lets Sarah stay because she was an actual good actor.

The crowd stayed still for a moment before jumping up from their seats, giving them all a standing ovation. People are throwing roses onto the stage, and the loud noise of claps fill the opera house.

The security guard lets them all come back onto the stage and Jacob sits down with a microphone.

"Everyone, I am going to explain the true story of the Lion king." He starts.

The crowd quiets down and they all eagerly wait for him to start.

"So basically, one day, Mufasa was out hunting with the lionesses and a plane crashed into the pridelands with lots of food. Sarafina took a chocolate fountain for her daughter Nala and that's how she got addicted to it. Anyways, everyone in the pridelands got super fat because of all the food on the plane, especially Mufasa. They discovered this food called lasagna that wasn't properly digested by their body, so they locked it away in the lasagna graveyard... But lasagna tasted so good, people would sneak off to eat it all. Especially Mufasa."

"And then, in the future when Simba is born, Scar tells simba about the Lasagna graveyard in hopes Simba would eat all of it and explode because the lasagna stays in your body forever. Simba takes Nala with him and they both go, singing I just can't wait to be king."

"When they arrive, Simba takes a huge slice and prepares to eat it, but Mufasa comes to his rescue and starts destroying the lasagna with his mighty claws. But he accidently eats some of it, and gets addicted. Then he tells Simba about the lasagna with they live in you. Mufasa eats even more lasagna and at the same time this bumblebee comes and attempts to sting mufasa."

"Mufasa explodes because he ate too much lasagna but everyone thought it was because the bee stung him. Nala gets really excited and married to the bee, much to scar's dismay."

"Scar comes onto the stage and sings 'Be prepared' with the lasagna's because they were planning to kill Simba. Simba sees the lasagna the next day and he runs away to the jungle and finds timon and pumba. Simba grows up there and one day, Scar takes away Nala's chocolate fountain because Scar cares about Nala's health and Nala had diabetes. Scar also fell in love with Nala, but Nala got really mad at Scar and left the pridelands to find her chocolate fountain, and she finds it and Simba. They sing can you feel the cheese tonight. Featuring the oogly woogly's and starring Sexin Chen."

"Simba goes back to the pridelands to defeat the Lasagna's, and Nala murders Scar for taking away her chocolate fountain. The entire kingdom ends up eating the lasagnas to get rid of them, but most of them explode. The end."

The entire audience starts clapping wildly at Jacob's demented version of the lion king, throwing roses onstage and whistling while they all take their bows.

"What the hell was that?" Lauren gasps as soon as we meet Jacob, Danielle, Zoe, Sarah and Paris again.

"It was the Lion King," Danielle snarkily replies, washing off the bits of her facepaint, "ew. The makeup makes me look like Sebastian."

"Hey!" Sebastian frowns.

"You guys can't act. I mean, except for Sarah, Sarah's good at acting but other than her, you guys all sucked." The guide admits, "how did you even get past security?"

Danielle's face goes all thoughtful and she thinks for a moment before opening her mouth.

"We obviously disguised ourselves as the real actors."

*Flashback to Danielle's memory*

"Hey! What are you doing?" The actor for young Simba screams, trying to run away from me.

"ROUND THEM UP!" Jacob orders, tackling the actor for Mufasa down, "GIVE ME YOUR HEADPIECE!"