I sat on the arm of an armchair in a sweaty, dirty flat that Lisa had dragged me along to as she was ‘sure’ I needed to ‘party’. But my mind was elsewhere. It had been for a week now.


I’d moved back home so I wouldn’t be a burden on Taehyung anymore, although he’d been really insistent that I wasn’t and extremely disappointed when I left.

My mum and I had made up though. She’d opened up about how hurt she was when I upped and left and I’d expressed my feelings on how I felt suffocated, and we listened to each other.


Fortunately now, she didn’t try and keep me pent up in my bedroom, and didn’t try and stop me when I went out, although I knew she was still worried.

I looked around me.


Everyone was crammed into the small rooms of the flat. Everyone was downing drinks and then throwing their cups, doing shots out of dirty shot glasses, smoking joints with no open window and doing lines off the coffee table. I didn’t want to be here.


“You look like you don’t want to be here.” I turned around to see a boy who looked a few years older looking at me. He wore a tight white t-shirt, had sleeves down in his arms and he was fairly attractive.

“I don’t.” I told him.


“Then why are you here?” He questioned. “Distraction.” I shrugged.

The boy seemed to smile at my blunt replies. “I’m Sam.” He told me. “Jisoo.” I forced a smile. “Jisoo, you’re really gorgeous.” He said, sipping on his beer.


“Thanks.” I shrugged.


Just then, Lisa came over. “Hey, Sam.” She smiled and hugged him. “Jisoo, can I talk to you for a minute?” “Sure.” I got up and followed her out of the room and into the small hallway.


“What’s wrong with you?” She asked. “What? Nothing. I don’t know. I don’t want to be here.”


“Why? Are you okay?” Lisa looked concerned, but I knew she had no reason to be.


“I’m fine, Lisa. I promise. I’m just… I’m never honest with myself. I can’t go round in circles anymore. Do you know what I mean?”


Lisa just frowned at me. “No. No, I don’t. What are you on about?”


I shook my head. “It’s fine. But I have to get out of here. I’ll see you later.” I told her. “Jisoo!” She called after me as I pushed my way through the swarm of drunken and drugged up people but I ignored her.

I’m outside.


I text Taehyung the simple message and then stood waiting.


The air wasn’t too cold and I hadn’t wore skimpy clothes to the party so I was content with waiting.

But he was there quickly, wrapping in his navy dressing gown and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Jisoo, it’s late. Are you okay?” He asked me.

“Can you sit down with me?”


Taehyung and I both sat on the step in silence for a second.


“So, what’s going on?” He broke the silence. I took a deep breath. “I need to be open about you with something. I probably should’ve told you a few weeks ago when I realized first. Maybe even months. I don’t know.” I rambled.


“Jisoo.” Taehyung cut my rambling off and snapped me back to reality.


I took a deeper breath this time and then sighed. “I really do care about you, Taehyung. I’m so glad I met you. And I know we’ve had some complex circumstances for the past few months, but I feel like things are… clear. Maybe. But I have to be honest.” Taehyung stared at me with his big eyes.

And I was sure he knew what I was about to say.


“I have feelings for Jungkook. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. And I know stuff has happened with us, especially in the past few weeks. I never meant to hurt you, I promise –”


Taehyung cut me off. “You don’t need to apologies, Jisoo. It’s okay. I think I always knew.”


“I’m still sorry. I know your feelings for me. I wasn’t honest with you because I was trying not to be honest with myself.” I rubbed my eyes feeling frustrated with myself.
“Jisoo, it's fine. You've been honest with yourself now. And me. There's one person left.”

I paused. “You think I should tell him?” “I know you should tell him, Jisoo.” Taehyung smiled at me. “I just... I don't know how to do it.” I shrugged. “Do what?” Taehyung quizzed me. “Love. Relationships. Trust.” I told him.

He smiled. “You trust me.”

“Yeah, I do. You're right.”

“You just learn. Jungkook likes you. Just take one step at a time. The first step is telling him, “I stopped and stared at him. “You're such an amazing person, Taehyung. Sometimes I really can't believe just how amazing you are.”

Taehyung looked at the ground and then back at me. I couldn't help but notice the pained look in his eyes and it broke my heart, but he kept smiling for me. “You are, Jisoo. Now go and tell him.”