12/29/21

(Teen)Wren:My Uber driver just asked do you smoke cigarettes, I said no and asked why and he said, because you smell like cigarettes and I said, maybe it's this bag *Opens Starbucks bag full of smoked cigarettes* never make assumptions about people!

Gordies mom:GORDON!
Gordie:Yeah?
Gordies mom:GORDON!
Gordie:Yes?!
Gordies mom:GORDON
Gordie:WHAT?!
Gordies mom:GORDIE!!!

(Adult)Jp:So what's the best kind of firework to buy? *Puts the microphone to Natalies mouth*
Natalie:Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy!
(Adult)Jp:....Where are your parents?

(Teen)Kelsey:Your bracelet is so cute!
(Teen)Bobby:It let's emergency crews know that I'm diabetic if I'm unresponsive
(Teen)Kelsey:...Nice-

Jason:Can you please eat like a normal person?
Tony: *Holding his chicken nuggets in his backwards hoodie* But I don't have to use my hands *Lowers his head to eat a nugget*
Jason:You got a point...

Omar: *Flipping through some huge fabric samples*
Maya: *Stuck to one of them* Can you help me? My earring got stuck-
Omar: *Continues to flip through them*

(Adult)George:I hired a drunk girl to compliment us
(Adult)Jane:Ok...
(Adult)Marie:aRe YoU a MoDeL???
(Adult)Jane:Yes...

Secret Keeper:There's a lot of debate
Stacks:About who should pay on a date
Secret Keeper:The man?
Stacks:The woman?
Secret Keeper:Well here's something clever since we think it should be...
Stacks and Secret Keeper:Transgender Muslims! :D

Xavier:I ain't got no watches, no clocks nothing telling time because I do things when the lord tell me to!

Jason:What do we got?
Tony: *Raises his hand* We got dogs faces
Jason: *Writes that on his whiteboard* Yes...
Boris:Makeup that sparkles
Jason: *Writes on whiteboard* Good good!
Tony:Something where your mouth can be your fucking eyes
Jason:Fuck yes!

Xavier: *Sleeping*
Jason: *Walks up to him and slaps him in the face*
Xavier: *Wakes up* Ah!
Jason: *Acts all innocent* Oh my king! Are you having another nightmare?

Craig:Oh my god, this mall is so dead- *Sees a dead body* Oop-

The waitress:Hi, I'll be your waitress for tonight
Secret Keeper:Hey how you doing?
The waitress:I'm good
Secret Keeper:Nice to meet you good!
The CryBaby Trio:Haha! *All high five*

Eliza:You know I took time off to rest and now it's game time bitches!

(Teen)Craig:Quick, make it look like you're gardening! Jp grab that little hoe!
(Teen)Jp: *Picks up Kelsey*
(Teen)Kelsey:...I don't think that's what he meant...

Craig:Oh, *Puts Irish badge on* *Reading off his badge* 'Kiss me I'm Irish'
Jason:If you insist... *Kisses Craig*
The whole creek: *Shocked Pikachu face*

Jason: *Pretending to be in an apology video* *Pretending to cry* wAaAaAHHHHHH!!! I'm sorry I made a Tik tok at my grandmas funeral and filming a dead body :( WAAAAAA Please forgive me :'(

Eliza:Shut up! It's my day!

Richard: *Raises his hand* Do we have homework?
The whole class: *Throws backpacks is at him*
Marie: *Literally throws herself*

Tony: *Dressed up as a frog* Here comes the boy! *Takes off frog mask* Just kidding it's me Tony!

Justin:Oh I know a ton about genealogy! It's when you rub a lamp and someone comes out and gives you three wishes! :D
Natalie:...I've met bread smarter than you...

Xavier and Hazel: *On a balcony* Hey ladies! The top of your heads look nice!
The Horse girls:Thanks!
Hazel: *Almost dies of laughter*

Boris:Is there anything you'd like to say?
Tony:My favorite color is blood :)
Boris:Okay...

Xavier: *Ugly crying* I'm not sad, I'm just cutting cucumbers :(

Jason and Craig: *About to beat each other's asses*
The other scouts and other stump kids: *Trying to hold them* Guys calm down!
Jason:Hit me! I dare you to punch me!
Craig:Square up!
Jason:Hit me here!
Craig:Hit me here with your lips *Points to me his lips*
Jason: *Blushes and kisses Craig*
Jp and Kelsey:Awww!

Jane:concealer can cover up everything! Such as eye bags, blemishes or...The truth

Craig:Hey man, wanna hang out?
Roger:First I gotta ask my parrots
Also Roger:Hey mom and dad-
Two parrots: SQUACK SQUACK

Jp: *In the chip isle at the store* Hmm, no, no... *Sees Goo on one of the shelfs* Perfect!

Kelsey:*Finds a string in her salmon fillet* And now my guard is back up, I trust...No one

(Teen)Secret Keeper: *Accidentally gets his string stuck in the cash register* Well I am currently stuck at the moment I got my string in the cash register I'm in quite a predicament...
(Teen)Jason:Again with this fucking shit dude? Seriously?!
(Teen)Secret Keeper: *Jokes* Step bro I'm stuck
(Teen)Jason: *About to slap the shit out of him* Oh my god... *Opens the cash register*
(Teen)Secret Keeper:Freedom

Jason:Hey Angel do you mind blowing out that candle for me?
Angel: *Screams in it until it's blown out*

George: *Takes a glass of water and pours it on Elizas face while she's asleep*
Eliza:Ah! You got to be fucking kidding me...You fucking kidding me, no you gotta be kidding me

Cheyenne:Hey I like your purse
Randy:*Pissed* IT'S A SATCHEL!!!

Mark:I just think it's so unfair how when anyone else has breakfast in bed it's like 'Oh that's so nice treat yourself'. But when I have breakfast, lunch, dinner and 17 snacks for days on end it's, 'This is a problem and you should be in therapy' Thank you...

Cheyenne:My mom is terrified of tin foil so let's go see
Also Cheyenne: *Shows her mom some tin foil*
Cheyenne's mom:AAAAHHHH

Boris:If god sends me to hell, I'll just not go what's he gonna do now? I'm already not going

Xavier:You have some funny looking jewelry...
Aggie:Ack! Stop that's my grandmas!
Xavier: 'tHaTs My GrAnDmAs' I ATE MY GRANDMA!
The champions:....

(Adult)David:Is your sister single?
(Young adult)Xavier:You mean the bride?
(Adult)David:...
(Young adult)Xavier:You're weird

Richard:Ha! What are you, gay or something?
Xavier:Yes
Richard:...Oh...

Kenneth:*Pours a little bit of water on Cheyenne while she's sleeping*
Cheyenne:Ah! Kenneth, you swore!

Maya:You really wanna do this?
Xavier: *Lays down and opens his mouth* Yep!
Maya: *Turns on the water foist and makes the water go into Xaviers mouth*

Cheyenne:Guys I have some bad news, the trees are beginning to turn on us! *Squares up on a tree*