I'll update two chapters today because my next update will be NEXT YEAR.

This is still a long story that's all I can say...

XOXO!

-Camilla Eldridge

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

London Eye, United Kingdom

Jeanne was dragging me inside the Ferris Wheel capsule. I do not know what he is thinking! He knows I'm afraid of height!

"Jeanne stop it from moving!" I was turning red, my heart was beating very fast and trust me you can hear its sound. None of the guards where in, just us. The moment I told him that this is a game over his face hardened, eyes blazing, like he was ready to kill anyone.

"It's not over. I will not let you go" Those were the only words he told me and he held my hand all the time until we are here in London.

"It is not yet moving baby." He said

"I know!" I was shouting already. I swear I'm gonna die! He stood up, just in time when it actually move. "Jeanne please!" For the love of God! I want to go down now!

"Look at me Katherine." He said, he was standing in front of me, firm and unfrighten. Of course, he's not afraid of heights!

"You trust me right?"

"I do! But im not so sure now! What if we fall?" I said, I was all still in my seat, my hands were clenching on my lap and I was as cold as ice!

"If you fall I'll catch you" he said.

I rolled my eyes. "That is not what I meant!"

"Haven't you noticed Katherine? I am making way for you to face your fears."

I frowned. Not understanding what he meant.

"You didn't want to fall in love because of your fears. But you did love me. Now I want you to face another fear Katherine. Face it with me baby." His eyes were soft, and his words touched my heart. He was not letting me go, he was willing to take whatever I am, how incomplete I am.

He kneeled in front of me, held my hand tight and the way he looks at me in the eyes pierced to my heart. "We will face all of our fears baby. And we will do it together. If we cannot have a baby we will face it together. But before we accept our defeat we will keep on fighting and praying. I don't care if other woman wants to carry Prince Jeanne's baby. I want you to carry my baby, our baby. God loves us doesn't he?"

I nodded at him. He is right. God loves us, he does.

"You think I forgot that the Ferris wheel is moving?" I asked, when I was again remembered where we are.

He grinned at me. "At least we are half way already."

He stood up again and the capsule moved, I'm not overacting! I can feel it!

"Oh Jeanne for the love of God please! Stay still!"

"You trust me right?"

"I'm not sure! I hate you! Please! I can feel it moving!"

"Stand up Katherine"

"Are you crazy? When I stood up I'm gonna die!"

"I'm here. It will be fine." He offered a hand on me. I looked at it. Reluctant to hold on it.

I looked down, since I cannot look around. "What if we fall? What if this box or whatever you call it breaks?!" I was having tantrums already. Please! I want to go down!

"You think I will let that happen Katherine? Trust me please?" His hands were still there, offering it to me.

Do I trust him? It should never be a question, but because of my insecurities, it will always be. I do not know if I was doing the right thing. God! I think I'll faint! I reluctantly hold into it. Knees shaking, I tried to stand up.

When I was finally up I hugged him. My face on his hard chest, hiding myself from seeing the height of this damn Ferris wheel!

He kissed my hair, his hand caressing it. "Don't think of your fear of heights baby. Think of the beauty of the view."

I paused and think for a while.

He has a point. In my life I've been always looking for the struggles. The fact that I might fall anytime, I have and neglects the happy moments that I experience. I have neglected the beauty of life.

We were still standing there with the same position, I on his chest, and him caressing my hair and occasionally kissing it. "I can accept anything you offer baby. I am ready to conquer all of our fears, together. This is a package deal, a package that includes only you. I don't want a baby...if it will costs your life." I froze...so it was the reason?

"I don't want to come to the point where we will be at the hospital, and you will be fighting for your life, and will ask me to choose the baby over you when that time comes...You may hate me but you can never make me choose the baby. I cannot live without you anymore. I need you in my life." Oh Jeanne.

I hugged him tighter. He's not the ideal man, he is the best man. "When the doctor said you might die when you carry our baby I felt fear. You cannot die. I cannot let you die."

I looked up at him, his eyes were a little bit teary, but I know he was restraining it from falling. "When you carry a baby inside your tummy and it will cause your life. I will not be happy that you have that killer baby in your tummy. Call me irrational or childish, but if you die? I cannot love that killer blip. I just can't. I will love the baby if you are with me. It's a package deal baby." I love this man. "Sorry if I cannot be perfect" I told him.

I am willing to change everything I can for him. It is a crazy fact, that we unconsciously change for the person we love. If I just can exchange my womb to any other woman I would...for a happy ending.

But it seems like happy ending does not exist.

How will you be happy when things ends? I also don't get it.

He held me on the cheeks and gaze at me, "Don't leave me." He said. "That's the only thing that you have to do...and if you ever plan to, I will tie you up in bed and lock the doors. That's how crazy I am for you baby."

I do not know if I should laugh, because he was damn serious about it. And now I made up my mind. I will not leave him...not until he asks me to.