No time to edit.

I just love you so much that I write first before I study! How I wish I just took a course related to writing but it was too late before I realized.

Anyway, more comments faster update!

XOXO!

-Camilla Eldridge

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

Jeanne was pulling my arm tight. I bet it will bruise later on. I was letting him drag me like a paper, not even uttering a word. He stopped and opened the nearest room he saw and locked the door, it was one of the halls inside the palace.

He was few steps away from me. I didn't move where I was.

He turned to look at me, his eyes were ready to kill someone, "What?! You enjoyed being with him? Kissing him like you are not married?" he shouted, and it almost echoed inside the whole room. I just looked away from him. I deserve this of course.

"I'm sorry" It was the only thing I replied.

"Really Katherine?" he asked, "You were letting him be intimate with you inside my territory!" I know I should be frightened by his voice, but I wasn't. Jeanne is not violent, and I know he will not hurt me—at least physically.

"I'm sorry. I will not repeat it" I answered. I was a fighter type of woman. I shall answer back and roar too, that was me, but this time I just let him be angry...

It was the only thing I can do anyway...

I can't be his crying shoulder, can I?

"You're not a cheap woman, you are not a commoner! You have a title to protect! What if someone captured that? Aren't you thinking?!"

My whole body shivered. I blinked fast and breathed hard. I'm an uncrowned prince with no responsibility of having an heir. I suddenly remembered what Vince has said.

No responsibility of having an heir. No responsibility of protecting his name.

I crossed my arms, looking away from Jeanne, and pinching my already hurtful arms. I was suppressing my tears. All I have to do is to understand.

I should only understand.

He seemed shock of what he said too. He walk few steps towards me. "I-I'm sorry." He said and pulled me into his arms.

I wasn't hugging him back, but the tears instantly fell. Will he be like this if Pauline happened to be his wife?

I laughed at my mind, "Of course, he will not, Pauline will not do what you did." My superego answered.

I immediately wiped away my tears and smiled at me. "It's okay Jeanne. I'm sorry." I looked away from him again. Being a good wife is all I can do for him, so that's what I am doing now.

He cupped my face, forcing me to look at him, "God, baby I'm so sorry. Please talk to me. Please. I'm sorry. I was...I was too occupied and I was not thinking. Please baby. Forgive me."

He hugged me again, tight and with love. "I forgive you" I told him. I hugged him back, though it was not as tight as he does.

It took a few seconds after I let go of him when I removed his arms around me. I looked at him and sighed hard before giving him a smile.

I touched his face, and tried to memorize every line of it. "I'm happy to see you finally express your emotions. You haven't been talking a lot, and you haven't cried." I felt a stabbing pain in my heart, repeatedly, squeezing it hurtfully.

"Katherine, it's not—" I placed a finger on his lips.

"I was worried about how you feel. But I thank God Pauline came. If it wasn't for her you will not be able to release that hatred in your heart" I removed my hand from his face and turned back, because if I look more at him, I know, I will cry.

Being a crying baby is not what he needs.

He immediately pulled my hand, "Baby please let me explain."

I looked back at him and smiled bitterly. I shook my head and said, "No hard feelings Jeanne. I know... It was a five-year relationship...Five meaningful years. I was glad that she was able to make you cry with her. I know, it will somehow soothe the pain." Even though it was I who feel a lot of pain.

I will not restrain him of doing something to someone that I cannot do...

And because I cannot do anything about it, I have no right to complain.

I just have to accept.

I kissed him on the lips, trying to somehow feel that it is still mine...

Because, a part of my brain was saying that...

He will choose Pauline over me...

And I have to be prepared.

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Granny was buried two days after. I was trying to be the same Katherine. But of course, It wasn't the same. My family came and Jeanne didn't had a chance to say what he has to say. I was afraid. I am afraid. That when he explain it will just deepen the insecurity I feel.

I was sure Jeanne loved me. Was. I know, I'm being hard to myself, but you wouldn't understand not unless you are in my position.

I love him...very much.

It's just that, I am having a hard time to accept that I cannot be perfect for him. This wasn't just a game we can start over when we don't feel like winning. This wasn't a test that I can cope up the next time...

We are talking about life.

Every night I pretend to be asleep since Granny died and we had that confrontation. He will brush my hair a little and steal a kiss on my lips when he came in, and when I know he was asleep, I will open my eyes and look at him.

I admit it. When I saw him with Pauline, hugging and crying with each other's arms...I felt all the insecurity I just threw away.

I promised myself to do everything, that I will remove that insecurity in me. I know he loves me despite the fact that I cannot bear his baby, but I just cannot help it... She is perfect.

It was December thirty today, and I was home alone. Jeanne said he has an important meeting to attend. I just nodded and told him to have a good day. I needed to talk to someone. I tried to open my Skype, but immediately closed it again.

Vince is online.

I was not avoiding him. I just don't want to open up with him. Vince will bring me the moon, or freeze the sun if it was possible. He is the type of man who will never let you feel that you're alone, he will do anything he can to make you happy...and he does not care about your status in life.

I was hurt by Jeanne's words. Now I admit that. I guess I just need time to forget about it. I will eventually forget it.

It was past two in the morning and he hasn't come home. I was worried already, and pacing back and forth in the entrance of our home. He was not answering, his guards were saying that he was on his way home...but they've been telling that two hours now.

The moment the front door opened I run towards Jeanne. His two body guards were on his side, holding his arms. His tie wasn't fixed. He wasn't a sober.

"Jeanne! Oh my god. What happened? Why did he get drunk?" I tried to help them but none of them answered me.

But it wasn't the only thing that had my attention, because Jeanne suddenly kneeled in front of me, hugged my legs...and cried like a kid. "I love you Katherine please don't leave me please. Please. Please."

"Jeanne! Stand up! I'm not going anywhere." I looked at the guards and dismissed them. I sat down on the floor and hold his face, and wiped his tears.

"Don't leave me baby. I cannot live without you. I need you. I love you. I'll do everything just please don't leave me. I'm sorry if I just know earlier I should have done something. Please baby. Don't leave me please."

"I will never leave you Jeanne. Never." He hugged me really tight and continued to cry. "Please. I love you. Don't leave me please."

He was scaring me. I was afraid he did it...

I breathed hard and took all the courage I need. I hold his face, afraid that he will say yes.

"I promise not to leave you" I said, closed my eyes and gathered more courage. I opened my eyes and looked at him, "Please Jeanne answer me honestly..."

The thought was killing me already...But I have to be ready. I have to be ready.

"D-did you cheat on me?"

Next update next year? What you think? :P