~There's a certain magic that comes along with being in love--that makes you feel intoxicated with love--and that feeling lets you know that it's real.~

A S H T O N 

I found myself in the playroom the next morning, kneeling on the floor with my hands out by my side, my head coming up to about Blake's waist. Blake was going over different positions I had to remember and practice. He was also guiding my body into the right positions and I couldn't lie, it was interesting to feel his hands touching me for non-sexual or romantic reasons. My body was begging to respond, despite me fighting it so that I could concentrate. It was failing miserably, unfortunately, because my whole body was tensed, and my heart was racing. I could feel my dick pulsing between my legs as Blake slowly walked around my body, watching me.

His eyes being trained on me was something that only fueled my desire, and I was biting into my lip and looking around the room without moving a muscle. I was breathing shallowly, making sure not to move from position three. I could barely remember the first two positions he'd put me in, because my mind had begun to fog up during the first one.

He'd been so close to my body when he'd helped me figure out the position I was supposed to be in, and my blood had immediately changed directions when I felt his whole body pressing against me. "Ashton, relax." Blake said calmly and I immediately rested my ass on my heels, put my hands on my thighs and took in a long, deep breath. The positions were pretty easy to get down, as long as I can remember them.

"Good job. You should make time to think about those three positions until I can command you what position to get into and you immediately go to that position, do you understand?" I nodded my head obediently, keeping my eyes trained on the dot on the floor. "When you are in trouble, the dot on the floor is where your eyes should go. If you're not in trouble, you may make eye contact with me."

"Yes, daddy." I said, moving my eyes up to meet his. He smiled and patted me on the head.

"From today, on, you will begin getting up at nine am on weekdays. You will get up with me and help me prepare breakfast. You will then shower, get dressed, and begin schoolwork. During your lunch break, you will make yourself a small lunch. I prepared a book of different meals that you can make without cooking, everything from Cucumber Salad, to different kinds of sandwiches you can make. The book is on the counter currently. You can leave it there, or find somewhere you'd like to put it." He said, and walked over to the table by the door. He picked up a small white book, with a beautiful butterfly on the front and walked over and handed it to me. I took it from his hands and opened it to the first page. He motioned for me to open it.

On the first page, in Blake's perfect scrawl, was my name and the date. I flipped to the next page and there was a list of all my rules so far, with space to add more. The next pages had our contract laid out on it. I bit my lip and trailed my fingers over it. "What is it?" I asked.

"This is, for all intensive purposes, your handbook. I created the whole thing, different work pages, and information over everything involving the kinks we've discussed so far. It's got an index of different toys, kinds of play, and the two dynamics you fit into the category of in my opinion." He explained. "There's also information regarding the other kinds of dynamics, as well, just so that you know your options. I have placed everything you need to know inside this book, as well as your rules, our current contract, your new schedule, and the positions we've already practiced, plus all the one's you'll eventually learn." He said.

"Oh, wow!" I said, running my fingers down over the cover of the book gently. "It's amazing."

"It's nothing. Now, Inside of this book is everything we will cover over the next month or so, depending on how frequently we do this or how fast or slow you want to do this. Everything is going to move at the right pace for you to learn everything completely. Understood?" I nodded again and he smiled at me. I smiled back at him and sat the book down in front of me and put my hands back on my thighs.

He smiled again, and I shyly smiled, pride filling my chest. I hadn't ever thought I could fulfill Blakes needs in this way, because every time I think I'm going to get trained, something would happen and I couldn't. It was disappointing because I was so excited about starting training. I looked down at the dot on the floor.

I suddenly was filled with a sense of fulfillment in that moment, excited for what was to come. We'd barely done anything so far and I was ready to go, to learn everything I possibly could before he had to get back to work. "So far we've covered positions and rules in the playroom, and your new schedule. I know that you are excited about this but, I want to make sure you are getting everything that I'm saying, and learn it. Any questions?" He asked me, and I shook my head. "Do you need to work on what I've already covered or do you feel confident that you remember everything?"

I hesitated, nervous. I didn't want to mess up and disappoint Blake. I felt like I had the positions down, but now I'm not so sure. What if I just think I have them down? "I'm not sure, really." I finally said, and bit my lip. I felt bad for holding things up, but I wanted to be the best submissive for Blake that I possibly can be. I have to do a good job for him, and I'd rather take a little extra time to learn it than for him to have to teach me the same lesson every day until I get it.

"How about we practice a little more with the positions I've already covered with you, and see what happens? You seemed to already remember them earlier, granted it was a little fresher on your mind, but I want you comfortable with what you learn here so I don't mind taking the time to perfect it." He said, and motioned for me to relax. I did, automatically. He smiled and nodded at me. "Position three." He said, and I stood up on my knees, putting my hands behind my head and holding myself still and straight. He nodded, smiling at me. 

A couple hours later I was sitting on the couch, Puzzle on one side of me, Blake on the other. We were watching a movie, and Puzzle and I were sharing a carton of rocky road ice cream. Puzzle was watching me out of the corner of his eye, smiling a little. I blushed and glanced away from him. Blake had his arm around my shoulders, and Puzzle and I were holding hands and I felt really happy with both of them around me. 

I felt... safe. Untouchable, almost. I had been happy with just Blake, but after being with both of them like this, I knew that this was where I belonged. Blake was my home, the one thing that I couldn't do without, and Puzzle was like my bed, the one thing I never wanted to do without. The concepts felt so similar, yet different, at the same time. I wasn't sure what exactly was different except for the length of time that I'd been kind of with both of them. 

I'd been with Blake for almost a year, and Puzzle was like a month, maybe. 

Puzzle and I had the same kind of connection that Blake and I have, only it's less sexual, but only just. I feel pretty sure that one of the reasons we hadn't had sex yet was because Puzzle was nervous about doing it in the house with Blake. I understood it, because I felt the same way. It seemed like it was some unspoken boundary. 

"So, I was wondering if after Thanksgiving if Ash could come with me again to go to Maine?" Puzzle asked, and Blake nodded immediately. "I was thinking the first weekend after Thanksgiving we could go up to Maine, buy some more weed because I've gone through about half my stash already, and if my friends in town maybe hang out at their house for a while." Puzzle said. 

"Are drugs involved in this hang out?" Blake asked, raising an eyebrow. Puzzle smile hesitantly and shrugged a little. "At least you're honest. Well, try not to get arrested. If you do, I'll bail you out, and murder you. And then revive you so you can bail me out, then murder you again." Blake was aiming to look serious, but he really just looked like a giant teddy bear giving a lecture to a leprechaun. 

I busted out laughing, covering my mouth and leaning forward a little. I couldn't help but give myself over to the laughter for a moment, picturing a teddy bear lecturing a leprechaun about stealing pots of gold from rainbows. "What?" Blake asked, teasingly. 

"Teddy bear--" I tried to say around a fit of giggles, "Leprechaun..." 

Puzzle laughed then, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He grabbed my pen and took a hit, smirking at me. "I think you've had plenty of this for the moment, Ash." Puzzle teased and I pouted, glancing up at Blake. He raised his hands in an 'I surrender' fashion, and I sighed deeply and rolled my own eyes. 

"It was a teddy bear lecturing a leprechaun about stealing pots of gold from rainbows. That's what I thought of when Blake started going on about getting arrested." I said, poking Blake teasingly. He laughed a little and rolled his eyes. 

"Let me have it, I don't think either of you need anymore." Blake said, laughing as Puzzle began laughing this time. He took the pen from Puzzle and eyed it closely. "So what is this stuff exactly?" He asked Puzzle, whom had calmed down once Blake took the pen from him. 

"You ever done a dab? Like the wax?" Puzzle asked. I knew he was directing the question at Blake, but I shook my head no anyway. Blake nodded, though, and Puzzle smiled and pointed towards the pen. "That's essentially just the wax, just more liquid-y." 

"Ah, that's cool. So it's just pure canabis, right?" Puzzle nodded. Blake took a hit off of the pen, and inhaled for a minute and then started coughing. He took another hit and handed it back to me. "There you go, princess." He said, kissing my cheek and leaning back against the back of the couch a little more. 

It didn't take long for Blake to start laughing more at the television, and the carefully put up walls came crashing down and he was... different. He wasn't as serious, he began making jokes, teasing me playfully and he and Puzzle started talking about whether or not Avenged Sevenfold was better before or After some guy named the Rev. 

I wasn't sure entirely who they were talking about, I'd only ever really listened to pop music and my parents listened to stuff like Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band or whatever, so I wasn't able to contribute anything to the conversation really. It was interesting to hear the two compare songs and stuff before and after. I liked to hear the two talk, especially to each other. I was probably going to look up a  couple of the songs they mentioned liking later, and see if I liked them as well. I wanted to be able to join in on the conversation next time, and I won't be able to do that if I don't listen to it at least one time to know anything about it. 

I had thought that I knew Blake really well, but I realized that I only knew the side of Blake that he let people see. I knew what it was like to project an image that doesn't fit you, I'd done it for eighteen years, I knew that it wasn't easy to keep that image up. I wondered how long he'd been projecting it, how long he'd need before he ever let me see into the depths of his mind, where I had a feeling not many had ventured into. 

The thought of seeing a side of him that I never had before made me excited--it made me wonder how long it'd be before another piece of him was exposed to me. I wondered how many before me had tried to get into his mind, and how many had succeeded. I wanted to know him, every bit of him. I couldn't help it, he was a mystery to me in so many ways, and I wanted that to change. I hoped it would. 

I glanced over at Puzzle, and smiled at him, feeling his thumb trace across the top of my hand gently. I smiled and glanced down at mine and Puzzles hand, entwined together. I could feel Blake's arm around me, and Puzzle's hand in mine, and it was exciting--exhilarating.

I never imagined that life could be this way. I didn't think that it was possible to have more than one partner, or that you could actually be happy in a relationship. In my home, it always seemed like the appearance of happiness was better than actually being happy and I wasn't sure if that was a good way to live or not--it didn't seem like it to me because I'd been hiding things from everyone trying to live that way and I wasn't happy at all. I really just wanted to be free from the stress and the lies. It was freeing to actually feel like a person. To feel like myself.

I wasn't aware that being open about yourself could make you happy but it has made me happy and I can't help but wonder if everyone was to just be themselves if the world wouldn't be a better place... but then some people are like, murderers and stuff though so... maybe that's not such a great idea. But, the majority of the world should be themselves, anyway. 

It isn't fun to have to pretend to be someone that you aren't and I want to make both of these people in my life happy enough to not have to be anyone other than themselves. If I do that, I'll be happy with my life.