He held her arm. "When he died, I dropped out of a lot of things; school, clubs, church. Anything that reminded me of my brother. I wanted nothing to do with it. And it was hard because we had both lived in the same house. 

"The only way I felt I could make it up to him was to keep his grief front and centre of everything. I was not allowed to smile, or think happy thoughts or even let my mind wander too far from the person I thought I killed. I didn't want to see my friends, or my sister or parents. I stopped eating or drinking but never felt like I could give up enough because there would always still be something I could do that my brother couldn't.

"Thank God for Dami. I pushed all my friends away, insulting them and hurting them if they dared to come too close but Dami was stubborn and refused to stay away. He was the one who noticed me drowning in the pool and called my parents."

Romola's eyes widened and shocked filled her face. She spoke in a low tone. "Don't tell me you—"

"I couldn't exchange my life for my brother's. Neither could I give up everything because I couldn't stop myself from breathing or thinking. All I know is, I had an argument with my parents about my nonchalant attitude towards anything and I decided to leave the house and meet Dami at a pool. I got to the pool and saw my friends smiling. I thought I was doing it all wrong. I changed my mind. Someone pushed me into the pool playfully to stop me from leaving. My waist hit the side of the pool and I fell in head first. They thought it was a joke."

Romola sat up with a shock. "That's why you were so mad when I pretended to drown."

He nodded. "Deep in the water, it was like I was seeing everything from outside myself. My friends, laughing. Dami panicking and me sinking and thinking that it still wasn't enough. That even if I died then, I had lived seven months extra than my brother did and that nothing would fill the gap. Not even dying. It was clear to me then that the voice in my head was my own grief. Not my brother's. Muyi wouldn't want me to die. Neither would he have wanted me to throw my life away or to be a wimp when I was pushed into the water by my friends."

"Can I see your scar?"

Veins popped on his arm and he hesitated before he pulled his shirt out of his trousers allowing her to touch the scar. He didn't tense up like last time.

"Mide, I have a scar too. But it's quite different and every time I think of it—" she swallowed the knot in her throat. "I think of Sunbo. If she hadn't helped me that night, I might have been dead by the same machete that killed her."

"Everyone has scars. Some people work hard to cover theirs. Others display it proudly and some people don't know what to do with theirs. Some have it skin deep. Others have them soul deep. But if you make it all you identify as forgetting that there are other unique, wonderful and larger parts of yourself, you'll be lost in your grief. Just... healing will come with time."

"And for the guilt?"

"The guilt never really goes away but you have to keep reminding yourself of the truth. You have to offer forgiveness to yourself first."

Olumide stared at her for a while, his honey brown eyes still searching but without pity, just admiration and deep care. She felt so warm that she would've melted into the chair if the cold thought of her imminent separation from Olumide did not hang over her head.

The ride home was silent but her mind was a mix of words and decisions because she had spent the time thinking more than she had allowed herself over the past few days of what she had allowed herself to become, how she got there and where she was going.

The closer they got to the house, the more the pressure in her had built up. He hadn't mentioned anything about them but she needed to know where they stood. The car stopped at the main street beside the back of Iya Nelson's house. Romola sat in the car, waiting.

He turned to her at the same time she was about to speak.

"I want—"

"You know—"

She clamped her mouth shut and took a deep breath. "You first."

"No. You. What do I know?"

"Nothing." She loosened the seatbelt. "What do you want?"

Olumide stared at her with those searching eyes. His emotions were guarded behind a wall. A wall she recognised from whenever he wanted to talk about his parents. No doubt, they had said something. His sister must have been relaying their conversation at the courtroom door.

"Just, take it easy. And help me call my sister."

"That's it?"

Something inside of her shattered. Like someone who had claimed a mountain expecting to soar past the clouds but had landed face first on the earth a thousand miles below.

"Was there something else?"

She whispered the words ever so lightly that she didn't think she had said them at all. "What about us?"

"You want to talk about us?"

Romola opened the door and walked out, yelling over his words. "I'll get your sister for you."

There was no point discussing what would happen. She marched down the path beside Iya Nelson's house, fighting a constraining feeling in her throat and the heat in her eyes. Had he really just given up on them so easily?

She banged her house door shut. The living room that had boasted of several occupants beyond its limit for the past few days was now eerily empty, except for Olumide's sister and her son. The boy lay sleeping on the couch beside his mother.

"You're back." Ajoke smiled at her.

What was there to smile for? She probably knew how Olumide would've reacted if they had spoken about them.

"He's waiting for you."

"What happened?"

The question pulled the tears that she had successfully kept from Olumide.

"Nothing."

"Romola—"

"Please, just go away. Take your brother and go. I know you don't want us together." Romola walked behind the couch towards her room.

"And who gave you that silly idea?" Even when Ajoke contradicted her worse beliefs, her tone was still very much condescending. "Olumide?"

Romola shook her head. "It doesn't matter who did. Your family doesn't like me."

And the only explanation she could give for why he had been here for her all these days was that he wanted to make up his promises to her for saving Modupe's life. That was it. And that he had seen the worse of her and her family and decided he couldn't take it but had stuck around for good courtesy to end the business of Sunbo's burial.

"If we all like you and Olumide doesn't, it will not matter. And if we don't like you and he does, it makes things harder but it still has little bearing on your relationship. It's between both of you and I promised not to interfere but let me just get this out.

"First of all, I'm sorry for interfering the first time. I don't know if he told you this but I'm the reason he proposed to Yetunde. I forced him to do so. Also, it's not that I didn't like you. I didn't like who you reminded me of. I had an elder brother. He loved a girl and she ruined his life. I was afraid the same thing was going to happen with Mide but I was wrong. You're not that girl. You are not selfish and you've actually made Mide stronger— and by an extension, me. I'm sorry that I ran with whatever Yetunde said but I genuinely thought everything she said about you was true. And she'd been saying those things long before I met you."

Romola shrugged. "I mean, if Yetunde had told me bad things about you too, I would believe it."

"Well, I think differently about you now but I need you to understand that my brother's well being is my priority and if I seem harsh, it is because I'm looking out for him. Keeping him in a limbo is not helping any of you."

"Me?"

"I'm not trying to interfere but I also don't want to see my brother suffer. If you don't like him, let him know. If you do, tell him. He carries rejection too long for it to be delayed."

A car honked outside.

"Alright. Thank you. I'll think of what you've said." Romola turned her back to Ajoke.

"You better tell him you love him before he leaves. Six months is a really long time to wait."

Romola turned. "Where is he going?"

"Didn't he tell you? We're moving out of the country."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I hope this new year is treating you all well.

As we all know this book is slowly coming to an end and I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who have this book a chance, prodded me to post more, helped with critique and praises.

I also want to give a big thanks to those that have shared and voted on this book. You all are the real MVPs.

Future plans:

1) This book will also go on PabPUB in the next few days/weeks. So, if you want to catch up on the updates before they are posted here, you'll find them there.  (I'll make an announcement when it goes live). And you can also get a hardcopy of the first book in this series.

2) After this book, I will take a pause from Wattpad to countine publishing sometime late February or early March on the next book I hope to complete: THE LIVES WE LIVED. I hope you'll be there to read it too. It's already been started on my Wattpad profiles and you can add it to your library to keep up with updates.

Thank you once again. Have a great weekend.