Kanaiwakumamāhā

Grandma held my hand tightly as we took the long walk down the hallway, part of me felt like we would never reach the door on the other side.


Part of me wanted to give up.


To accept this fate, and run back to the door leading to the afterlife with my grandma. But she told me that once I go through that door you can never go back.


While we walked she asked me what on earth I was doing here in the gateway to heaven. "How did you almost die pabo?" She asked, but her playful smile immediately faded when I told her what happened.


"I'm so going to haunt that fuckers ass." She said angrily as she kicks the ground, probably imagining that it was his head, and that she was bashing his skull in.


"If your out in this hall cant you come back with me?" I ask and she shook her head. "Why not?" I ask sadly.


"Because I already walked through that door. My own mother was here to guide me. And I no longer see a door that will lead me back to the earth." She says.


"I dont want to loose you again." I whisper as she cups my face in her palms as tears stream down my face. "What am I supposed to do without you?" I cry out.


"Oh darling." She smiled as she hugged me tightly, I can feel her crying too. Her tears dampening my shirt.


"I'm going to miss you too, but it's not your time yet. Not even close, you still have so much for you on earth." She said pulling away and touching the wall next to me.


I gasped as I saw the first time me and Jeonghan kissed. His soft voice rang throughout the whole hall as he sang Mad At Disney.


Tears formed in my eyes I saw him smile when I pulled away from the kiss and continued singing. His voice meshing with mine flawlessly.


"You have him. You have Jeonghan waiting for you." She said as the image infront of us changed. Now it was Jeonghan running into the water after me.


He tackled me as both of us went under. I remember this vividly, just as if I was living through that exact same moment all over again.


"Seungcheol I love you."


Hearing those words again bring butterflies to my stomach. As if I was hearing them again. I then hear another sound.


"Kiki!"


"Chickey!"


It was the time I was reunited with Minki as he arrived in Singapore. I smiled sadly as I watched both of our bodies collide and collapse on my front lawn.


The image changes to the hospital, there I lay on the hospital bed, however my own persona looked burly and I couldn't see myself barely at all.


But I could see Jeonghan, he looked so sad. He held onto my hand tightly as he rested his forehead against my knuckle as I could hear him mumble prayers.


Minki and Woozi both sat next to him. Both looked tired and drained, I had no real idea how much time has passed but it looked like they haven't slept in days.


Now that I look closer. THEY ALL LOOK THAT TERRIBLE, even The8 and Seungkawn. "Oh my god." I say in shock, my voice barely above a whisper.


"Seungcheol this is your family. They need you and you need them. I think its time you go home." She smiles as she takes my hand.


"I'll always be in your heart, watching you over you from above. 89% of the time, the other percent is me time, they have REALLY good mimosas upstairs." She winked as I laughed.


"I love you grandma." I smile as I hug her tightly. "I love you too Seungcheol." She said kissing my cheek. I exhale deeply as I approach the door.


I look back at my grandma who smiles brightly and give me a thumbs up before she shoos me off. "Hurry up my Mimosas are waiting!" She jokes.


I laugh as I turn the knob and push the door open. A blinding white light flinging my sight. Everything around me disappeared.

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