[trigger warning!]
this chapter may get very triggering so please don't read it if you get triggered easily. also if you ever need to talk, literally about anything, i'm here.

josh: tyler..
read 5:14

josh: please text me
read 5:17

josh: i'm sorry :(
read 5:20

josh: i know you're reading these please baby
read 5:22

josh: don't do anything stupid, okay?? i love you
read 5:25

a tear swiftly slid down tylers cheek onto his phone that he held in his shaking hands. how could someone do this to him? he felt alone again.

tyler threw his phone down onto the floor forcefully as he felt his heart shattering. it began to get painful to breathe as the sounds of his phone buzzing against the carpet floor filled the room. his thoughts began to get louder and louder telling him to do it.

do it, just do it. no one is stoping you!

tyler began pulling the rubber band on his wrist back and letting it go so it would snap against his pale skin. he'd put it there a while back when josh told him not to hurt himself, well i guess that's another thing that didn't last.

the snapping only satisfied tylers mind for a moment. he needed something more as he couldn't take the screaming much longer.

get up.

tyler obeyed, standing up on his weak legs that could barely hold up his tiny body.

go in the bathroom.

he inched towards the bathroom door, opening it to see himself in the mirror. he flinched at the sight, god he looked terrible.

look at yourself, coward.

tyler lifted his head slightly, looking at his reflection that honestly looked like he got hit by a car or something. he stayed like that for a minute just eyeing himself as his mind made up nasty words to label him.

take it out.

he paused for a minute, thinking about what he was capable of doing right now. was he actually doing this?

take it out!

tyler snapped back, quickly opening the cupboard and grabbing the blade. he held it in his hand and forced it down onto his skin. small sobs escaped his lips as he slid it against his wrist.

:.｡..｡.:

tyler stumbled out of the bathroom and into his room. he quietly shut his door, sliding down onto the floor as soon as he did so. he crawled on the floor, picking up his phone.

8 missed calls from josh.
37 unread messages from josh.

tyler didn't even bother to look at them as his head started spinning. he gripped the end of his bed, pulling himself up onto it. he laid on his stomach, as he whimpered into the duvet. his grip became tighter onto the comforter. tyler brought his hands into fists, hitting his mattress repeatedly to let out his emotions.

"are you happy?" he mumbled against the comforter, staining it with his tears. "ar-e you happy!?" he raised his voice, though he didn't know who he was talking to.

a couple minutes later and tyler was sprawled out on his bed as he breathed unevenly through his mouth. eventually, his eyes became heavy. he fluttered them closed and feel asleep to the dark places in his mind.

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