Suicidal s/o

 I had a bit of a breakdown last night and this is a good chance to go through that. I was feeling really suicidal so I channeled that into this scenario. They're older and living together. I remember watching a vid about suicide survivors and how they sometimes regret attempting suicide when they survive, just to add some context.


Midoriya was coming home after a long day of work, and he was ready to crash into bed as soon as he walked through the front door. He was pretty sure you would already be sleeping, so he came into the bedroom quietly. All the lights were off except the lamp on your bedside table, but he couldn't see your shape under the covers. There was just a piece of paper on your pillow with writing on it.


"Izuku, I hope you know that I love you and that you mean the world to me, but I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of trying to survive each day, without really living at all. I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to feel like this, because I know this pain is never going away. So Izuku, my love, please forgive me for what I have to do"


He read it, but it was like didn't understand the words. His brain didn't understand but his body reacted on instinct. He ran out of the door and climbed the stairs to the top of your apartment building. He got to the roof and saw you standing on the raised edge.


You heard the door slam against the wall next to it, so you turned to look back. It was Izuku, he was just standing in the doorway and looking at you. You didn't really know what to make of his expression other than that he looked scared. You didn't know what he was feeling, you didn't even know what you were feeling. Whatever it was, you just wanted it to end.


You looked at him, tilted your head back and fell backwards, or at least you tried to. Izuku acted faster than gravity could take a hold of your falling body and snatched you away from the edge.


He clung to you like his life depended on it, and sat against the raised edge of the roof. You were shaking, but you too were clinging to him as well. The roof was cold underneath him, but all he was focused on was you.


"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." you kept repeating between your sobs.


"It's okay, it's gonna be okay," Izuku kept saying, while rocking back and forth, with you pressed against his chest and trembling in his lap.


After a while, when Izuku got himself to stop shaking he stood up. You held on to him as he walked down the stairs and back into the apartment. He sat down on the floor, against the end of your bed still holding you.


You didn't know how much time had passed when you finally tried to get free of his embrace, but Izuku wouldn't let you. He was terrified, absolutely and thoroughly terrified of what would've happened if he had gotten home two minutes later.


"I-Izuku?" you asked shakily.


"Just... let me hold you for a while longer, please" he muttered and you complied.


After a few minutes, he loosened his grip on you, but you didn't move away. You stayed in his lap and buried your face to his chest.


"Why?" he finally asked.


"You read my note, you know why" you said as you raised your head to look at him.


"I-I just don't understand. I don't understand why you would feel the need to just completely leave..."


You didn't have an answer to that. Everything that had seemed to make so much sense just a short while ago, didn't seem to make any sense now.


"I... I don't have an answer for you..." you sighed.


Honestly at that moment, Izuku didn't really care, he could figure out the reason later, because for now he just wanted to hold you and never let you go.


"You're crushing me" you whimpered and pulled him out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed he had been hugging you so tightly.


"Sorry" he said and loosened his hold on you.


Izuku looked at you and he could see that what you had written in your little note was partly true. You looked exhausted, you looked like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and it was crushing you. He understood that, he knew what it was like to take everything on by yourself, he just wished you'd share some of your burden with him so it wasn't so heavy. Because he knew that if you were to be crushed by that weight, if he were to lose you, that would be the end of him as well.

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