harlee's pov:
tuesday night

my eyebrows narrowed as I walked up the long driveway, seeing jaden's car parked.

javons car nowhere in sight.

I told him I would stop by for a couple of minutes tonight just to see how they were doing, because I couldn't imagine the pain of slowly watching a parent grow sick.

usually right after school the boys would go to the hospital for a few hours to make sure their dad was okay, but it seems like they were home now.

I slowed down my walk, being confused as to why javon's car wasn't home when I just asked him if he was here.

and he said yes..

a tiny pack of nerves were swarming around my heart, but it wasn't positive. did he go pick up food, or run to the gas station?

where the hell is he?

the front porch light turned on as the front door opened, causing my head to turn in the direction of the house.

jaden was standing in the doorway—a house that was completely dark besides a couple of small lights was behind him in the doorframe.

the corner of my mouth curved upwards weakly as I continued to walk towards him.

"hey." he spoke in a softened tone, letting go of the door in order to wrap me in his one-of-a-kind hugs. something him and I both needed right now.

"hi." my voice was low, being muffled from my face being smushed against his chest. I closed my eyes, taking in the presence of a human that never fails to see the good in a room full of bad.

he slowly let go, stepping side ways into his house as he held the door open for me to walk in. "you looking for wanna?" his voice laced with a hint of confusion. "I'm not sure where he's at he just walked out the house about thirty minutes ago without saying a word."

"he just left without saying bye?" I asked out of curiosity as I walked into the house, feeling a coldness take over my body from the temperature inside.

"yeah, I was in my room and I heard the garage door closing." he told me as he shut the front door, then turning around to face me. "I peeked out my window and saw his car was gone." he shrugged his shoulders, not wanting me to worry.

I nodded my head slowly, trying to think about what the hell he could be doing and why he has to lie to me about it.

"you don't have to worry about him being with anyone, harlee." he tried to comfort me with reassuring words. "he wouldn't do that to you."

again, I nodded my head as I tried to let what he told me ease my nerves.

"do you want water or anything?" jaden's eyebrows raised as he pointed to the kitchen, walking past me and into the living room; wanting me to be comfortable in their house.

I shook my head as I followed behind him. "no thanks, I'm okay." I assured him as I sat down onto the couch, then letting out a deep breath to release stress.

slowly, I could stay to feel my heart throb as if it had stopped, worried about wanna and where he was.

I swallowed the air stuck in my throat not wanting to worry myself, and not wanting jaden to have to worry about me and javon's problems.

he nodded his head as he sat down onto the couch next to me, his elbows on his knees as his fingers played with his bottom lip in order to decrease anxiousness.

my eyes watched him for a bit, feeling more and more bad for him the longer I looked.

"are you okay, jaden?" my voice stayed calm in order to let him know that I will listen to whatever it is he wants to rant about. "like seriously okay?"

I watched as both of his lips curved inwards towards each other, rubbing against each other as he kept his thoughts to himself.

after a few long moments, he looked over his shoulder, turning his attention onto me. "no." he admit, but his voice didn't fill with any sort of emotion of sadness.

we held an eye contact for a couple of second from how simple and honest his response was. "well," I exhaled a small breath as I switched my position to sit sideways on the couch so I could look at him. "you always listen to my bullshit, so now it's time I listen to you."

still looking at me over his shoulder, a small smile appeared on his lips—without showing his teeth as he looked down to his lap.

he rubbed his hands together as his elbows stayed on his knees, "I just don't want him living in pain." his voice was now threaded with sadness.

my mind immediately reminisced on all the great memories I've heard of dj. him looking at javon at the dinner table, the way he looked at his sons in hopes that they would watch the basketball game with him, the way he looks at everyone.

"I've been preparing for the fact that my dad is going to die for months while javon was in denial the whole time," he turned his head, looking at me. "I think that's why he's taking it so much harder than me."

I swallowed the air in my throat, knowing the feeling of losing someone you love. it's more painful than words could ever describe.

"you all deserve nothing but happiness." I told him in a soft tone, my heart feeling like it was aching for them. "you don't think with this new treatment that he'll get better?"

a scoff that sounded like a laugh left his mouth as he shook his head, leaning his back against the couch. "not really, no."

my eyebrows furrowed in a saddened manner. "you're dads a fighter."

he shrugged his shoulders as his eyes stayed looking towards the floor, knowing he agreed with what I said, but he didn't have enough energy express what he was really thinking.

"look j," I exhaled a large breath, preparing myself to speak. "I have never met someone as powerful, sensitive, and down to earth as javon." I admit with full honesty.

his softened hazel eyes looked back up to me, listening in to what I had to say.

"and I've never met someone as understanding, truth worthy, and caring as you." my eyes squinted a bit out of defense, wanting him to believe that I see the good in both of them.

his eyes stayed pinned on mine, looking as if he were in a trance from the words I had spoken. he blinked a couple of times before turning his head to look away from me. "thank you." he spoke quietly.

"I know dj is proud of you, both of you." I told him what I knew. "he couldn't have raised you both any better." my hand gently rested onto his knee, hoping that it would comfort him at least a little bit.

his eyes looked down to my hand, but he stayed quiet for a couple of seconds. I watched as his tongue broke between his lips, licking them as he readjusted his position on the couch. "speaking of both of us, maybe you should text javon." he was quick to change the subject.

I let out a large stress filled breath, "I already did, and he lied." I let my shoulders shrug slightly, not knowing what else I could do.

"yeah but he had a reason to." he defended his brother. "find out what that reason is." he nodded his head lightly, assuring me that it's what I should do.

my lips rubbed together as I nodded my head in agreement. "what should I say?" one of my eyebrows raised as I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

"ask him whatever you want to know." he told me in a light tone.

my mind immediately thought of the first question that came to my mind and my fingers began to type.

me: where are you?

my attention was turned away from my phone at the sound of the door bell being rung, causing both jaden and I to turn our heads towards the front door.

my eyebrows were furrowed out of confusion, then my eyes shifted to jaden's as he looked at me with the same amount of confusion.

both of us stood up from where we were sitting, walking towards the front door to see who was there.

jaden unlocked the large wooden door, then opened it to a sight that made my entire heart fall out of my chest.

"is this your brother?" a man that looked to be in about his late fifties asked us as he held all of javons weight.

wannas arm was wrapped around this man—the man looking like he was struggling to hold all of his weight. javon's eyes were hardly open, but they were droopy.

my heart immediately began to beat quickly, feeling a pit drop inside of my stomach.

my eyes looked out of the front door, seeing the mans car out front—an uber driver.

javon's car still nowhere in sight.

"he is a mess." the man informed us as jaden quickly wrapped javon's arm around his shoulder, jadens other hand holding onto his brothers waist. "I picked him up outside a party."

"oh my gosh, wanna." my voice was low, my hand gently cupping the side of his face to get a better look at him, but taking a closer look physically hurt my heart to look at.

his details up close were droopy, exhausted, and had no color. the only color was the red tint underneath his eyes—showing how tired he was.

"you're lucky I don't call the cops." the man warned us as he fully let go of javon, standing back up straight. "he's underage, his car is still parked up at the party. I couldn't let him drive home like this."

"thank you so much sir, I'm so sorry." my voice filled with panic, not wanting there to be an issue here. my hand immediately reached for my pocket, pulling out a twenty dollar bill and handing it to the man for a tip.

the man took the money offered in my hand, then turned around and walked away from the house.

I shut the door once he was gone, then turning back around as jaden carried javon further into the house

"javon, what the fuck are you doing man?" jaden mumbled out of frustration as he walked him down the hallway, trying to lead him towards one of the downstairs guest bedrooms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." his low voice left his mouth as he stopped walking, causing jaden to stop as well. "just get off of me for just a second." his voice changed to an aggressive tone as he pushed jaden away from him.

"what did you drink?" I stepped closer to him, keeping my arms ready to catch him from how much he was stumbling.

"multiple things." a small grin crossed his lips as his drunken eyes squinted at me as if it were obvious.

javon stumbled over himself, causing his body to fall against the wall. "clearly, and you've had way too much." jaden quickly recovered javon from his stumble, holding him up.

"fuck off, for just a second." javon's voice changed aggressively within a matter of seconds as he harshly pushed jaden's chest, causing jaden to take a few steps back.

my jaw dropped slightly out of shock from how much aggression wanna was using on his own brother.

my eyes shifted to jaden, seeing his jaw tighten as he stared at javon, trying his best to hold back his anger. "I'm gonna get him water." jaden mumbled through his teeth as he walked away.

I gently grabbed onto both of his forearms as I led him down the hall. "here come into the bathroom." I kept my voice calm, not wanting him to get upset.

"harlee please, I got it." he forcefully took his arms out of my grip keeping his tone low.

"wanna, you can't even walk." again, I tried to carefully grab onto his back in order to take him into the bathroom.

he moved himself away from me, stumbling backwards into the doorframe of the bathroom, hitting his back against the frame. "I need space."

"wanna." my voice laced with worry, wanting to help him but holding myself back due to my fear from his aggression.

without warning, he immediately fell onto his knees as both of his hands held onto the toilet.

his entire body gaged, causing his stomach to remove as much alcohol as possible—throwing up.

I let out a deep breath through my nose, feeling every single part of my body absolutely hate seeing him this way.

after a few moments, I walked towards him as I stayed standing, letting my hand gently begin to rub up and down his back for comfort.

his back breathed heavily in and out, taking deep breathes.

it stayed silent between us as he allowed himself to throw up the alcohol he had consumed earlier, my heart breaking for him almost every time.

taking me off guard, one of his hands grabbed onto my leg, holding onto it as if he needed it for comfort. his head stayed near the toilet as he breathed heavily, but his grip on my leg stayed tight—like he needed me there with him.

my head turned towards the door from hearing the sound of footsteps, seeing jaden standing in the doorframe.

his eyes looked down to javon holding onto me, then looked back up to me. "here, give this to him." he held out a glass of water.

I took the glass from his hand, watching jaden as he leaned against the counter, wanting to stay to make sure javon was going to be okay.

I looked back down to javon, patting his back lightly. "drink this." I held the water near his hand so it would be easier for him to take it.

slowly, he leaned away from the toilet as his eyes looked at the glass I was holding for him. his hand released from holding onto me, grabbing the glass of water.

he let himself lightly fall backwards so that he could be sitting down, then leaned his back against the bathtub.

he brought the rim of the glass to his lips, then drinking the entire glass of water within seconds. he brought the sleeve of his shirt up to his mouth, wiping it before setting the glass down onto the floor.

being slightly out of breath from everything he had just went through, he kept his eyes staring straight forward, not looking at me or jaden. "thank you." he told us in a quiet tone.

I exhaled a large breath as I bent down onto my knees, then fully sitting down with my back leaning against the wall next to him.

"whose party did you even go to?" jaden questioned even though we all already knew the answer, but that didn't mean it was okay. "after everything, that's what you decide to do?"

javon shrugged his shoulders as if he was at a loss for words, his eyes still avoiding contact with the both of us as he stared forward.

"drinking doesn't take the pain away." my eyebrows raised out of hope, wanting him to realize that he doesn't need to turn to alcohol in order to cope with his problems.

"you're right," he turned his head towards me, letting his darkened tired eyes look directly into mine. "I still feel like shit." he spoke with no emotion, turning his head back forward.

"wanna I don't want to make you feel worse but you know that's the last thing you should've done." jaden's tone of voice sounded annoyed almost, not wanting his brother to destroy himself. "all the promises, wanna."

I watched as javon swallowed the air stuck in his throat, then he rubbed his lips together as he thought to himself. "I'm sorry, I just needed to get my mind to stop thinking." he admit. "I was wrong but I wanted to feel relieved for just a second."

his head turned in my direct, a sheet of gloss slowly forming over his eyes. "I didn't mean to upset anyone." his voice was weak, on the verge of breaking.

his entire body slowly started to fall towards me—his head resting in my lap as his arms wrapped around my waist. without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around his head in order to comfort him.

jaden stood up straight, leaning off of the counter. "I'll leave you two." he nodded his head at me, letting me know that he will be fine.

I watched jaden walk out of the bathroom, leaving wanna and I alone to talk.

"thank you for ubering instead of being a dumbass and driving." I tried to lighten the mood a little bit as I looked down to him—his eyes closed from his state of tiredness.

"I knew you couldn't live without me, so I decided to do you a favor." a weak laugh left his mouth as his eyes stayed closed. "still need to pick up my car though."

I laughed lightly from his little joke, feeling my heart beat increasing by the second; simply just from sitting here with him.

I do love this kid, so much. I really wish he wouldn't turn to negative things like alcohol in order to make himself feel better.

"can I ask you something?" he asked with a softness built into his tone, cutting me off from my thoughts.

"of course." I spoke in a soft tone, letting my thumb gently rub against his hair.

"did you come here to look for me?" he questioned, wanting to know if I came over for him or for jaden.

my tongue licked my bottom lip as I let out a small breath from my mouth. "no." I admit, which slightly hurt me knowing that he could get upset.

"why did you come then?" he kept his voice low, not getting upset, but simply just wondering.

I slowly started to shake my head, not wanting him to take anything I was going to say in the wrong way. "jaden is my best friend, he deserves to let out his emotions to someone." I told him with honesty.

"he has ken and ethan for that." he mumbled with a bit of a feisty tone.

"wanna, don't say that. he deserves to vent too." a small laugh left my mouth from how close minded he was being.

"not fair he gets three.." he spoke with a serious tone, even though his words were a bit childish.

"come on, javon." I let my eyes roll lightly as another laugh had left my mouth. "that's not how it works."

his grip around me tightened as if he were trying to pull me closer to him. "sadly." he mumbled lightly.

I looked down to him, letting my eyes look over all of his features as his eyes stayed closed, looking so vulnerable.

he's drunk, which is causing all of this honesty to flow out of him. I like his honest side, he always has more emotions.

"jaden and I are just friends." I assured him, allowing my fingers to run through his hair. "don't you trust your own brother? and don't you trust me?"

"I do. I trust both of you." he answered almost immediately, sounding as if he were defending himself.

my eyebrows furrowed, now becoming confused. "then why are you upset?" I questioned.

he inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled deeply—sounding stressed. "he always gets the benefit of the doubt." he spoke in a low tone, almost sounding hurt.

"what?" my voice laced with confusion, now not understanding what he was referring to.

his eyes slowly opened as he turned his head to look up at me. "think about it." he told me in a plain tone, being annoyed with the topic of conversation we were now on.

I lifted my head upwards from looking at him, keeping my eyebrows furrowed as I thought about what he could be talking about. "what are you referring to?"

"jaden never is the one that fucks up, it's always me. I'm always the problem child." his eyes closed again, turning back to his original position as his arms tightened around me, again.

"wanna don't you say that, you are not the problem child." I looked down to him, almost as if I felt myself become heartbroken as to why he was still thinking like that.

his grip around me fully released as his weak arms pushed himself up from laying down. "I'm just saying I wish I could control myself." he looked at me as he sat directly in front of me. "I don't want to repeat the last couple of years."

the corner of my mouth slightly curved upwards as I could feel my heart beat increase from how sensitive he was being, but having no idea what he was referring to. "you are doing everything you should wanna, everyone makes mistakes you just have to learn from them."

his lips pursed together as he looked down to his hands, nodding his head slightly.

my hand gently held onto the side of his face, causing him to look back up to me. I leaned forward, kissing his soft cheek lightly.

———
11:30pm

"you finally got him to go to sleep, huh?" one of jaden's eyebrows raised as he filled a glass with water.

a small laugh escaped my lips as I walked down the stairs, looking at him standing in the dark kitchen."he had a lot to say." I told him.

"good." he spoke as he took a sip from the glass. "you get a lot of words out of him, and that's healthy for him." he assured me, almost as if he were thanking me.

"it's pretty healthy for me too." a small smile spread across my lips as I crossed my arms, placing them onto the counter top next to jaden. "hearing his emotions and stuff."

jaden licked his bottom lip as he thought to himself. "earlier we were talking about surrounding yourself with people that will take your pain away." he resurfaced the conversation.

I nodded my head in order to let him know that I remembered.

"you're the thing that takes his pain away, and he knows that." he looked back to me, holding a certain softness in his eyes as he looked at me.

trying my hardest to not smile, I couldn't hold back the small blush that was forming over my cheeks.

"wanna hates being vulnerable, he hates when he's weak." jaden told me something that I already knew.

"I assume that's why he went to drink tonight, though that only made it worse." I quickly raised my eyebrows up, then down.

he shrugged his shoulders as he looked down to the glass that was in his hands. "yeah, but I'm willing to bet that it won't ever happen again. it wasn't supposed happen again." he told me as a fact. "he doesn't want to disappoint anyone, and tonight he knows that he did."

I furrowed my eyebrows from jaden's comment, 'it wasn't supposed to happen again."

"I'm not disappointed in him, I just wish he would have come to us first." I shrugged my shoulders lightly to show him that it wasn't a big deal.

"that's what disappointment feels like, harlee." he assured me.

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