day 2,928
6 months after luke's wedding

i lay down on my bed, ready to start the first step of my morning routine.

1. stalk luke's instagram account

i unlock my phone, go on instagram and press the search icon, no longer needing to type luke's username in since he's already on the top of the recently searched profiles.

the reason why i'm doing this is not because i'm obsessed with him, no, but because luke hasn't reached out to any of us in two months.

not even a single message on the group chat, nor a simple instagram story, or a single tweet from him. it's like he disappeared completely.

i scroll down his gallery, and notice nothing new. i check the number of posts he has and they're at 31.

huh. weird. yesterday, i could've sworn luke had 50+ posts.

i scroll again, and that's when i noticed.

all his posts with jane are gone.

just as i noticed this, a notification pops up.

luke to shitheads
hi. anyone free to talk?

"holy shit." i whisper to myself, my eyes widening as i click on the notification.

"oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." i say, feeling my heart beat faster. it's the first time luke reached out in two months.

i press the facetime icon on the screen, and anxiously wait for anybody to pick up.

"luke where have you- oh, it's just you." a very frazzled michael says through the video call.

"hey, mikey," i sigh, "i hope he picks up."

"yeah, babe, it's on the counter," calum says, then looks at his phone, "hey, shitheads."

"hi!" ashton smiles, his video being shown on the screen.

"luke isn't picking up." i say, then begin to squeeze the pillow next to me, growing more and more nervous.

"guys, just calm down, okay?" ashton says, "we wouldn't wanna overwhelm him. let's wait for him to open up."

"gotcha." calum says, nodding.

another square is inserted on the screen, but it read luke hemmings: not sharing video.

"hey, guys." luke says in a very raspy voice. he sounds like he'd been crying.

"luke," i exhale, relieved to hear his voice, "why do you sound like you've been crying? what's going on? where have you been?"

"ky." michael says softly, and i compose myself.

"sorry," i say, "how are you?"

"hi. sorry i haven't reach out in a long time," he says, "i'm going through some shit right now."

"tell us, luke," i say, "we're listening."

"i'd rather talk about it in person," luke says, "that's why i called. i was thinking if we could meet up."

"when?" calum says, "i'm always free as long as it's for you guys."

luke stays silent again, while i'm trying so hard to stop myself from painting a "what the fuck?" expression on my face.

"i was hoping we could all go to the beach and talk there," he says, "it would be a breath of fresh air for me. the beach would help me feel better."

"okay," i answer immediately, "how's this weekend? are you guys free?"

"i'm in." michael nods.

"same here." calum says.

"so am i." ashton smiles slightly.

"okay, thanks guys," luke says, "i'll see you all soon. love you all."

and with that, luke leaves the call.

"do you think he's pranking us?" ashton says.

"i don't think luke would joke about something serious," calum answers, "he disappeared for two months, mate."

"his voice sounded like he was in a lot of pain. sounded like he'd been crying non-stop." michael points out.

fucking hell. i'm hurting because luke's hurting. just the thought of him crying makes me crumble.

"ky? you okay?" ashton asks.

"i wish i could take away his pain." i mumble.

present day
july 16, 2020

"my thoughts ate me alive that day," i sigh, "i couldn't stop thinking about what luke wanted to talk about."

"same," michael nods, "it drove me crazy."

"what he told us was what i was least expecting," ashton says, "i for real thought he was pranking us."

"really?" mia giggles, "what made you realize he was serious?"

"luke looked absolutely shitty," ashton chuckles, "it was the first time we saw him in that state."

"mean," i roll my eyes, "he still looked absolutely golden to me."

–

what the FUCK

- au