this chapter's gonna be PAINFUL i'm sorry in advance :')

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day 791
senior year

"ky, you sure you'll be okay?" calum asks. the rest of the boys are in the locker room, and i'm already on my usual spot on the bleachers.

"mhm," i answer, "go already, cal. the game starts in twenty minutes."

"okay," he says, and i know he's not fully convinced, "you don't have to finish the game, ky. alright?"

"i have to, cal," i sigh, "i always do."

and with that, he ruffles my hair up and makes his way down the bleachers.

i'm currently preparing myself for yet another heartbreak, courtesy of luke hemmings.

after this game, luke's going to ask jane to be his prom date. in front of everyone watching.

he's been planning this for weeks. and i, being the number one person he approaches, know just exactly how it's going to go.

even though i know what he's going to do, i'm still not prepared for the heartache i'm about to feel.

he'll only push through with it if they win, though. but they always win. so of course there's nothing stopping him.

i'm snapped out of my trance as people around me begin to cheer. the cheerleaders make their way out of the den, jane being in front as she leads them.

jane, you're about to be the luckiest woman alive.

after the cheerleaders, the audience roar louder as the football players make their way out, and being the captain, luke comes out last.

i begin to clap, my smile growing wider at the sight of my four best friends. they all have focused and determined looks on their faces.

–

one more goal. one goal left until they win.

everyone is standing up from their seats, waiting in anticipation for the end of this game.

but that's not why my heart is racing.

i watch as luke scores the final goal, the crowd goes wild, and my heart is already aching.

i don't wanna watch. i don't wanna see this.

but i can't look away.

just as planned, luke looks over to the area where the cheerleaders are.

he brings a hand up, summoning those on the other side of their bleachers to do the job he asked them to do.

the rest of the cheerleaders push jane towards the center of the field, showing that she's the highlight of this whole thing.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

i watch as they raise their placards, each board raised at a same distance.

"I SCORE MULTIPLE GOALS EACH GAME,"

it read, and everyone is watching as they flip the placards over, showing the next sentence.

i suddenly can't breathe.

"BUT MY TOP GOAL IS TO SCORE YOU AS MY PROM DATE."

then, as if in a movie, luke walks towards jane at the center. she's covering her mouth using her hands, looking completely shocked.

he holds a bouquet of flowers in his arms, as members of the football team stand behind him holding up a huge sign.

"JANE, YOU'RE A CHEERLEADER ON THE FIELD,"

they flip the sign over, and that's when i feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"BUT WILL YOU BE MY QUEEN AT PROM?"

"fuck." i whisper to myself, wiping my wet cheeks hastily. fucking hell, this is hurting way more than i expected.

jane nods, and i see her mouth form the word "yes."

luke jumps, and pumps a fist in the air. the crowd goes absolutely wild.

everyone around me are clapping, whipping their phones out to document the movie-like event.

i'm frozen in my spot, staring at the two people smiling and hugging at the center of the field.

i probably look like such an idiot. i keep staring at them, even though the more i do, the more my heart gets shattered.

he looks so happy.

he's smiling, and he looks so beautiful. his eyes are shining, his dimples prominent, and he just radiates everything bright.

but it's not because of me.

i can't hold it any longer. i make my way down the bleachers, and run towards the nearest bathroom.

i lock myself in the cubicle, still hearing the cheers of the people coming from the field.

i thought i wouldn't cry. since i knew what luke was planning to do.

but, here i am. covering my mouth to stop the sniffles from escaping my mouth as tear after tear roll down my cheeks.

my phone vibrates from my back pocket, and i take it out with shaky fingers, then press the notification.

fr: gordon

we love you ky. get out of that damn bathroom. cal, ash and i are outside

i step out of the cubicle and immediately make my way out the bathroom, needing my friends now more than ever.

the second i step out the door, i'm pulled into a hug by three sweaty boys.

"you guys are so sweaty." i mumble as they hug me tighter.

"shh." ashton says.

i close my eyes, savoring the comfort these boys are giving me.

i don't know who, but i feel one of them rub my back, one of them stroke my hair, and one of them wipe the tears away from my cheeks.

"he's so happy." i whisper to no one in particular.

present day
july 16, 2020

"that must've been such a tough night for you, ky." mia says.

"if you fink that was thoufh," michael speaks with a mouthful of cheetos, "you shoukdhe sheen her at prom nighth inshelf."

"don't talk when your mouth is full." ashton reminds, handing michael a glass of water.

"shorry." he says before he chugs it down, finishing the mouthful of cheetos.

"what i was saying was," he continues, "if you think that was tough, you should've seen her at prom night itself."

"oh, that was the absolute worst. the three of us didn't have prom dates that night cause we knew we all had to keep an eye on ky." calum says.

"sorry." i say, smiling sheepishly.

"at the end of that night, i was just grateful my waterproof mascara didn't fail me." i shrug, the memories of that night beginning to rush in.

–

the next chapter's gonna HURT hurt

- au