"Mama, we're hungry. Are we not eating breakfast yet?"

I closed my eyes and hoped that the earth will just open up and swallow me whole.

Slowly, I looked up, praying that they are all hungry enough to not mind my tomato-red face.

When I lifted my head, all eyes were on me- 

Jelai's eyes almost dropped from the socket, which probably mean she'll be sleeping over again tonight.

Jun-jun was shaking his head, laughing.

Tonsy was just staring at me, a warning to put myself together.

Kuya looked at me, then at Borj, his face is blank.

And si Borj, I'm not sure whether he's clueless, or he just doesn't care.

"Mama, you want coffee or juice", he asked facing the kitchen counter, preparing the coffee machine... and when he probably noticed that no one has answered him, turned around with Lana still by his side, smiled at me and said, "Mama?"

"Stop calling me Mama!", I yelled, stomping my foot.

Everyone laughed, and that's how our Sunday has started.

I approached the table and when I was about to sit beside Jelai, Jun jun immediately pulled the chair.

Tonsy was sitting beside Kuya, so I eyed the chair on his other side, but Borj placed his espresso on that part of the table. He smiled at me na parang nang-aasar.

Im not sure pero parang natatakot ako bigla kay Borj.

"Ma...", he was about to start again when I threw him a dagger look. "Ma- Mainit yung weather... so I thought you might want to have some orange juice", he said, smiling. He put the glass of orange juice beside me, and then placed Lana's high chair between us.

Ronaliza Salcedo, kalma.

I was feeding Lana when he tried to get Lana's attention, then took her bowl from me. "Kumain ka na", he said, smiling.

I looked up, then was surprised when I saw everyone's eyes on us.

Ano kami telenovela.

We were randomly discussing things, schedule for the week, when Tonsy suddenly said, "Roni, do you think we can move Lana's 2pm dental appointment tomorrow? Something came up sa court, and I cannot leave until around 3 or 4pm"

Jelai and Jun jun suddenly checked their calendar, and then looked at each other, "I have an afternoon meeting tomorrow"

"Coding ka tomorrow, so I need to pick you up"

"Jun jun, mag-taxi na lang ako... samahan mo na si Roni"

"Sis, Jun jun... ok lang. Kaya ko", I said, shaking my head, but really thankful for this group.

"I can take an afternoon off tomorrow, then..."

"Kuya, I can handle it, ok? Tonsy, it's fine", I said, smiling at him.

I caught Jelai throwing a side glance at Borj, so I silently warned him not to ask.

I don't feel comfortable asking him for favours, especially that he just came back sa barkada.

I'm not even aware of his plans, or whether he will be staying here for good.

Probably, that's one thing that's making me scared.

I cannot deal with uncertainties, because this time... it is not just about me.

I have Lana to consider.

I need to repeatedly remind myself of that last night.

Maybe, Borj is still caught up with his feelings towards me from fifteen years ago.

He has this idea of me in his mind, which is very far from the thirteen-year-old Roni.

Once the magic wears off, and reality sets in- he'll realize what he will be signing on is not what he wants.

So Roni, you better keep him at arm's length...

This thing between you is cute... if you were thirteen.

Monday, 12nn.

I have just finished dressing Lana up for our appointment at 2.

I'm about to take my bag, when I hear the doorbell rang.

"Mama, someone's at the door"

"Lana, wait for Mama, baby. Don't open the door"

My hair is still a mess. I just put a clip on it, and was planning to brush it while waiting for Grab later.

Grab... I still haven't booked one.

I took my phone from the charger, when I remembered that someone is at the door.

"Oh... shocks", I hit my toe sa side table sa pagmamadali. "Mama is coming, Baby"

I have my bag on one hand, Lana's backpack on my shoulder, my shoes on the other hand, while my mind is everywhere.

I was at the middle of the stairs, phone on hand, when I realized who it is who just arrived.

"Lana, I told you not to open the door", Roni said, probably shocked of seeing me sitting at the sofa.

I tried to pretend that I didn't catch the irritation in her voice.

I mean, I understand her. Even I would be scared of having my daughter open the door to someone.

"HI, Roni", I said, smiling at her.

"Hi, Borj!", she said, throwing me a quick glance.

"I think I need to have a sitdown talk with her again regarding Stranger Danger" she said, while putting all the things she was carrying on the table.

"Mama, but Stranger is not stranger"/ "I'm not a stranger"- they both said in unison.

"Nag-duet pa sila", she said, shaking her head. "Borj, wala dito si Kuya. Saka in case no one mentioned it to you, Kuya doesn't live here. So normal days, it would be just be me and Lana. I can give you his address and his number para you don't need to drive all the way here"

I just stood there, looking at her. 

She threw me a glance once or twice, but never really looked at me.

I was waiting for her to ask me yesterday to accompany them today.

Everyone knows I don't have anything to do, and she should know that I would drop everything for her.

I know Jelai wanted to ask me, but she stopped her.

It's like, we're ok, then we're not.

Like she's lowering the guard, and then suddenly realized something, so all bets are off.

She won't even take a chance.

"Borj?", I didn't realize that I spaced out.

"I know where Yuan lives and I have his number"

"Oh.. then why are you here?", I almost got offended of that question. So, I just closed my eyes and smiled.

"Are these all that you need to bring?", I asked, getting those things that she put down on the table.

For the first time, she stopped what she's doing and looked at me.

"Did Kuya call you?"

"Why would he?"

I can feel anger emanating from her pores. Mali yata yung gising.

I just smiled and said, "Lana, let's go"

I felt her hand on mine, stopping me from getting their things.

"I just booked a grab. So, we're good", she said, subtly dismissing me.

"You can cancel the Grab, then we're good", I smiled and took their things.

"Benjamin Jimenez"

"This should just be easy, Roni. You can just let me drive you to your appointment, so I can be out of your hair"

"I didn't ask for you to be here"

"Oh.. you don't need to remind me of that... I was here, when you were talking about it", I said, then proceeded to the door.

Roni is a bit infuriating sometimes.

Like she literally knows which button to press to make you go crazy.

I placed their things in my car.

On my way back to get them, I saw her holding Lana, while balancing the car seat in the other arm, and locking her door.

Really infuriating!

I immediately walked back to them, get the key and the car seat...

"You don't need the car seat", I said, not looking at her.

"It may not be strictly required here, Borj, but I won't be compromising my kid's safety"

"And neither would I... I have car seat in my car", I said, trying to silence her.

But no... you should always remind yourself that you're dealing with Roni.

She looked at me, shocked at first, then nodded her head.

She won't dare ask... why would she.

She will just think the worst of it.

If this has been some other cases- same scenario, different character, I won't waste my time explaining, but...

"I just got it last night", I added.

There... it's better to volunteer the information rather than have her concoct scenarios in her head.