I know I overreacted, but I needed time to gather my thoughts.

I feel sorry for Borj, but I guess I suddenly am sorry for myself, too.

I heard the door opened and closed.

I cannot blame him.

I just closed my eyes, and felt tears ran down my cheeks.

I woke up probably two hours later.

I still have some things to prepare before the whole barkada come.

I needed to order disposables for later, and the drinks.

I looked at sleeping Lana and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry, baby... Mama was not strong today", I said then hugged her.

I walked down the stairs, while tying my hair into a ponytail.

The day is still long; hopefully the wind will change before it ends.

I was at the foot of the stairs when I saw disposables at the kitchen counter.

There's also a cooler, which I supposed was full of ice and drinks.

I looked around wondering whether Kuya is back.

Then I hear sounds coming from the garage.

I walked to the window and I saw Borj checking the hood of my car.

I thought he left.. I guess, this would have been easier if he just left.

I took a deep breath then get some drinks from the cooler.

Borj POV

I was checking the car in the garage, which I assumed is Roni's.

This has never been driven for a while, but I feel that someone has probably been checking on it...

Yuan maybe, or someone else.

I felt guilty just now.

I think I've pushed Roni too much,

I just realized that she's probably thinking of what I might be thinking... which I could honestly say I don't really know where to start.

That probably is the mistake- or I'd say my first mistake.

Then, I cant help but stare at her and Lana whenever they're together.

This might sound absurd, but if I will be honest, I would say I'm jealous.

I want that... I want them.

Then reality hits.... They' re not mine.

And I swear I want to punch whoever is the guy for leaving them both to fend for themselves.

But I guess there's another story for that.

I don't think there's one guy in his right mind who will leave these two alone.

I certainly will not.

But there's something that's been clawing inside my head, which I couldn't shake off...

What if....

I took a deep breath, trying to think of how I can make peace with Roni.

Then I heard the screen door open, and I saw her coming out with a bottle of water.

"Ang init sa labas. Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?", she asked, handing me the water.

"I was just checking your car", I answered, somewhat gauging the mood.

"What made you think that's my car?", he asked while I'm taking the bottle from her.

I held her hand and look at her right thumb. I saw the scar, then I looked at her.

"I know you can drive", I said while holding her thumb.

I knew the moment she realized what I meant; I read her messages.

She looked at me, as if gauging which way this conversation will go.

But I don't think she's ready yet.

She just smiled, then said "I didn't say I cant.. I said I don't"

"Gamitan ako ng technicality, Ronaliza Salcedo"

She just shook her head and smiled.

I put down the hood of the car. She leaned back to it, while I stand facing her.

I know she's having a debate with herself whether she should tell me or not.

I've been waiting for this since the moment I saw Lana this morning.

"Is this the part where you're going to tell me more about Lana?", I asked.

She looked at me confused.

"I'm sorry if I felt quite lost this morning. I have a lot of things in my head.... but then I realized I don't really care. Is Lana mine?"

I can feel her eyes on me; her emotions I could not read, so I continued.

"I'm not angry... I wont even ask for a paternity test. Just tell me she's mine", there, I said it. I was holding my breath, waiting for her reply.

She was on the verge of crying, then I saw anger in her eyes, and then... she laughed...

Roni was laughing when here I am, about to breakdown for the nervousness that I'm feeling.

"Roni!"

"Benjamin Jimenez, if I didnt know that you were serious when you asked me that, I probably would have slapped you."

"Ang sakit!", I said while shaking my head.

Ang sakit, kasi pinagtawanan nya ako...

Ang sakit kasi hindi sya sa akin...

"How could she be yours, if I havent seen you for years?", she asked, shaking her head.

"At least I made you laughed... You were quite tense, and I also didnt know how to ease the tension... But honestly....", I said, then I looked at her...

"Honestly what?", she asked.

"I really considered what if she's mine...." I saw her about to fight me again, which I can now see the absurdity of the scenario that I was thinking. "Listen.. listen to me first please....

"I have really considered it... I was quite lost the previous years, that I was not even sure where I was on which day or month or year... Like I was just going with the flow... What if in one of those months, I was actually here, and I was with you... you, know, what if... I just didnt know. There, you can laugh now", I said looking away from her.

"Benjamin Jimenez... tumingin ka nga sa akin", she said, looking at me. "Salamat... I honestly didnt know how to tell you... Telling people this story has always been my struggle... not that I'm not proud of Lana, but sometimes, some comments would still get to my nerves... And I was not sure how I would feel if this time, it would come from you.", I was about to say something, she she shook her head, and continued. "I have probably played a lot of scenario in my head of how this conversation would go, and it never occurred to me that it could actually go this way."

I smiled, looking at her.

I'm happy that it looks like that she feels better now....

But somehow, it breaks my heart that my other scenario was not real..

I was actually banking on that...

"Roni... where is he?", I asked, not sure if I have the right to ask that, but I asked anyway.

"Who?", she asked, then shook her head.

"I just want to know him... To see whether he's good enough for you.. but that was actually a trick question because no one will be good enough for you"

She laughed again, and I missed that.

I missed hearing her laugh.. and making her laugh...

But, somehow I got conscious of what I have just said.

"Borj! Na-miss ko yung kakulitan mo"

I smiled, but then went back to my question. "Seryoso ako"

She took a deep breath then looked away...

"I dont drive for a reason..." she started... and I braced myself for that story which I know would definitely change mine.

"There was an accident about end of 2009. Drunk driver swerved to our lane. We were about to get married the following year. I found out that night I was pregnant. Then the following day, I was saying goodbye to my fiance", she said, like it's all she could say without breaking down.

Her tears fell, but she was smiling.

"I'm lucky I got Lana... She pulled me through all those things".

I held her face, wiped her tears, and looked at her.

"I'm sorry...." I said while I pulled her into a hug.

I'm sorry for the things you went through....

I'm sorry you felt you were alone...

I'm sorry I was not there....