Her heart sank to her stomach as she walked towards the morgue, a sickness growing in her belly. It swirled and churned and threatened to bring up her last meal, even though she hadn't been able to eat since she heard what happened.

Frankie Fish and Vinny had come with her, but they stayed in the car, watching the entrance to the morgue like hawks. She glanced back at them once, before she pushed open the cold door and stepped into darkened building.

Her heels clicked loudly on the cold concrete floor as she made her way past reception to where John was, nobody stopped her. The white tiled walls echoed the sounds of her footsteps which got slower the closer she got to the door which stated Mortuary. She stopped before the door. She could feel her heart beating in her ears and sick rising in her throat. She placed a hand on the door, releasing a shaky breath and pushed it open.

The darkness from the mortuary consumed her as soon as she walked through the door and it took a while for her eyes to adjust. However, when her eyes did adjust, she remained at the door. Her eyes hovered over a body on a table.

His shoes were still on and red blood had seeped into his clothes and onto the table. The red burned her eyes and she looked away. She pressed the back of her hand against her mouth to conceal the muffled cry that had escaped her mouth.

But then a horrible feeling gripped her.

Eyes were watching her.

People were listening.

A cold sweat had broken across her brow and she wiped her eyes quickly, turning around to face a copper and a mortuary assistant. The copper watched her closely, his eyes narrowed as if he was expecting her to launch an attack.

She half turned back to the door, her hand reaching to push it open. Her heart was beating loudly in her good ear. Why had she been so stupid? She had let her guard down and walked straight into a trap. She was certain the copper was here to arrest her.

But then he nodded at her. He quietly gestured to the assistant to leave before turning to leave himself. Mollie May knew he wasn't one of her coppers, leading her to believe he must have been one of Tommys. Maybe he had recognised her. Either way she was glad when they both passed her and left her alone with the bodies.

The door closed loudly behind them.

Mollie May took a couple of steps closer, her heart rate doubling. Her eyes lingered over John. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. She stilled herself, her eyes stuck to his chest, hoping against hope she would watch it rise and fall.

Nothing happened.

A sob leaked from her lips. He was there. Right in front of her.

Yet he wasn't.

He was gone.

She took another few steps closer. The sight in front of her pained her, yet she couldn't pull her watery eyes away from him. The two of them had been joint at the hip ever since they were small. One wouldn't go anywhere without the other, hence they earned the nickname The Terror Twins.

She was three months older than John and although he had always been taller, she called him her little twin.

He did the exact same thing. John had always refused to believe he was Mollie Mays little twin. Instead, he believed Mollie May was his little twin. The two had always looked after each other, no matter what.

He was her little twin. Her little brother who use to follow her around constantly. Her best friend when she needed it the most. Her accidental midwife when things went wrong, but that was a different story for a different day.

She stood at his side.

He looked so peaceful, yet the dark red still seeped from the bullet holes in his chest. The sight made Mollie May want to puke. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she took hold of his ice-cold hands.

He had always been so warm. She remembered all the times she stood between his arms, in a warm embrace and the feeling felt like a punch to the gut.

"I'm sorry." She muttered out loud, "Please don't leave me."

Everything she had done last year was to protect him from the Italians. She vouched for him. She took the fall for him. And it was all for nothing. They got him in the end.

"I'm so sorry." She squeezed his hand as hard as she could, like she was trying to squeeze warmth and life back into him. "I should have done better. I should have protected you." She paused, sucking air back into her lungs through sobs.

"I should have come to visit you." She cursed quietly as more tears dripped down her face. She rubbed her eyes furiously and wiped her nose and then looked back down at John. "Please don't go-"

She heard the door swing open again and whipped around to find Arthur standing on the steps. He, like her, stood motionless for a second, his eyes wandering over his little brother. Then his eyes travelled to the woman beside him. Her eyes were wide and teary and he almost thought she was frightened. "Mollie May?"

Struggling to find words, he collapsed onto the steps. Mollie May watched him carefully before finally letting go of Johns hand and walking over to him.

The pair sat together on the steps in bewildered silence, tears tracking down both their cheeks. Stifled sniffles broke through the quiet of the morgue, but apart from that, all was still.

The company was comforting. It was something Mollie May hadn't had in a long time. As the hush continued, she found herself leaning against Arthur, her head resting on his shoulder. She missed him. She missed them both. To her surprise she felt Arthur rest his head on top of hers.

She wished now, more than ever, that she had tried to make things better between the Shelbys and her. Her heart ached as she realised, she had been wrong. She should have stayed with Arthur and John and Tommy, instead of standing against them. The reward wasn't worth the sacrifice.

"You, uh." Arthur croaked after a few long minutes. Clearing his throat and trying again, "Tommy'll be here any minute. You, eh, should go." Mollie May didn't move, her eyes still lingering over John. She didn't want to leave him. Not yet.

But she didn't want to meet Tommy. Not now. So she rubbed away her tears and glanced over at Arthur. He looked over at her and offered her a weak smile before breaking eye contact and looking to the floor.

With a heavy heart and tired eyes, she stood up and walked to the door. "I'm sorry." was all she could mutter to Arthur who still sat haunch on the step. She seen him nod, "Yeah, so am I." he muttered as the door swung closed behind her.

Her heels clicked loudly on the concrete floor once again as she walked away from the mortuary. Once again, the white tiles amplified every sound and echoed her muffled sobs. She stood still before she reached the reception, pressing her back against the cold tiles as more tears flowed down her cheeks.

She held her hand over her mouth, like it would help prevent the sobs. She was aware the woman at reception was watching her, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away. Tears like streams ran down her face and dripped from the edge of her chin. Her hands ran through her hair and rubbed at her eyes.

She was so tired. So fed up. But she had no idea what to do. The Peaky Blinders got what they deserved, but they were her friends. She didn't want to see them hurt.

All she wanted was to go to bed, but even the thought of that terrified her. Sleep wasn't a kind place. She wanted to take everything back. She wanted John to come back.

She took a few deep breaths to try and steady herself. Her hands fumbled for the little blue bottle in her coat pocket. She tapped out a line on her hand and snorted it quickly. Then all she had to do was wait. In a few minutes she would wonder why she was crying in the first place. She could already feel everything starting to ebb away. Her tears became less frequent and her worries seemed less daunting.

"Are you okay, miss?" the woman at reception asked, slightly afraid of the woman who had been sobbing just five minutes ago. She never got an answer as Mollie May gathered herself and brushed past her, a scowl on her face.

The brightness from outside greeted her instantly and made her squint until her eyes adjusted. Frankie Fish had got out of the car and was coming towards her, his eyes searching the street to make sure it was secure.

He stopped opposite Mollie May as she lit a cigarette, taking in her tear-stained cheeks and red, tired eyes. "You al'ight?" She just gave him a look which told him no, but don't dare ask, so he didn't. Instead, he walked her back to the car and opened the back door for her, Vinnys eyes never leaving the road, watching who was coming and going.

Before they left, Mollie May noticed Tommy walking towards the mortuary. As usual, he was in a rush with a fed up look on his face as he pushed open the front door and disappeared inside, the black tails of his coat swirling around him.

***

That evening, Mollie May went to Johns house. Vinny and Frankie Fish went with her to make sure she was safe and that no New York boys were lingering behind; however much Mollie May had argued she didn't need them.

The three pulled up outside the little gate to the front door of Johns house. They sat there for a little while, Mollie May in the back and Vinny and Frankie in the front, and looked out at the patio of the house.

Even the sight of the house made Mollie May feel sick. Everything looked tired and out of place, as if the house itself was grieving. The thick atmosphere suffocating the happy memories held by the house and people.

"You want us to come in?" Vinny had twisted around in the drivers seat to look at Mollie May. She pulled her gaze away from the house briefly and shook her head, before looking back out the window, her eyes heavy with exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of loss.

"You didn't have to be here." She told her two soldiers quietly. "I know how much you both hate the Shelbys, especially John. This all started because of him." She let her mind wonder back to last year when John had sparked the war with the Changretta family. How glad the two men must have been when they heard he had been cut down by the mafia.

"Yeah, we didn't like him." Frankie mumbled, his hand rubbing his lips, "Good riddance, I say." Vinny hit him a dig from across the seat with a warning look, but Frankie shrugged, "Man, you didn't let me finish." He glanced back at Mollie May who was sitting behind him, her eyes now focused on the back of his head. "Can I finish?" he asked her with an annoyed look at Vinny.

She gave a small nod, her blue eyes glistening and Frankie turned back in his seat, "It's a dangerous game, starting a war. Especially if you don't have the capacity to finish it. They hit us, we hit them, and when it gets out of our control, we bring out the big guns. The New York boys finish them, before the Blinders finish us."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, "They got what was coming to them. John was a soldier, just like the rest of us, and soldiers always know they have a heavy price to pay. There is only one way out for us." He glanced back again at Mollie May, "However, I am sorry that his death hurt you. You're our boss, our priority and we would lay down our lives to protect you and this family."

Vinny nodded in agreement beside Frankie, but Mollie May couldn't help but narrow her eyes at them. "It sounds like you're challenging me." She told the man in front of her softly, a powerful look in her eye as she toyed with him. "I don't like to be challenged." She paused, "I know what happens in this game. I know what the price is."

She let her eyes settle on Vinny who looked away from her immediately. She remembered his warning about a rebellion. A rebellion of soldiers who didn't like her rule. She let her hand snake into her holster, pulling out the gun slowly.

Frankie listened to her carefully clicking off the safety, not daring to turn around. He glanced at Vinny who had turned to look out the window, a vague and blank expression on his face.

"You said you were willing to die for me." Mollie May whispered from behind Frankie and he felt his hair stand on edge and a shiver pass down his spine. Was she really going to shoot him, right here in the car? The gun appeared in the corner of his eye; the muzzle pointed at his head.

"I don't believe you." She told him dangerously.

"Just because I said I didn't like John! You can trust me; I've done everything you asked me to do!" "And now I'm asking you once more. Take the gun." Frankie exhaled a shaky breath as he turned to meet her fiery gaze.

He glanced at the gun she held out for him before looking to his friend, Vinny, for help. But Vinny too had taken out his gun, training it on Frankie Fish, "I warned you." He growled, "Don't even think about shooting her. "

With shaking hands Frankie took the gun. "Cock it." The woman instructed him and he did so, closing his eyes and resting his head against the seat. "Please don't." he muttered, "I'm loyal to you. I have a wife. And children."

Mollie May sat back in her seat, a cruel happiness alight in her face. She could feel the power in her veins. She watched as Frankie followed her instruction and cocked the gun, with a sly smirk on her face. The power she had over people never ceased to amaze her. Even now, she could tell a man to kill himself, and he would. That was a power she liked a lot.

"Put the gun to your head."

Frankie hesitated, his brow creased in an unknown pain and then he placed the gun to his head. Mollie May sat forward, leaning so close to him that he could feel her breath on the back of his neck. "Pull the trigger." There was a small whimper before Frankie pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Frankie opened his eyes in amazement, but didn't dare move. Mollie Mays smile grew wider, "I took out the bullets." Her explanation didn't ease Frankies tense expression. "I know now, that you're truly loyal to me, but don't ever dare to test or challenge me again, because next time I'll make sure there are bullets in it." And with that she got out of the car and walked towards Johns house.

***

Hey!

Hope you're enjoying the book so far, I had so much fun writing this chapter!

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Happy reading x