(Song from the Waitress musical, same title. Freackin' amazing.)

When the two of you parted, you just looked at each other's blushed faces. Only inches apart, neither of you knew what would be the appropriate thing to say. Neither of you seen this coming. But you were the only one who never knew this would happen.

At last Steve was the one with more sense in the situation.

"I've wanted to do this for a while now." he said.

"S-so it wasn't just a one time thing?" you asked.

"I hope not." he said smiling.

You chuckled nervously. He held out his hand, then tickled your hair behind your ear.

It was so different from where you were with Loki. Loki was mean, self centered, and exciting. As far as Steve went, he was nothing in the lines. He was kind, caring, gentle, and safe. And he seemed to be sure. His first reaction after a kiss was that he wanted to do it for a while. While Loki's was that it was a mistake. And yet you couldn't chose. Deep down you knew that you should choose Steve. But the same voice deep down said that you wouldn't be happy without Loki.

Your own words echoed in your head. You banned him for forever. You screamed at him and sent him away for good this time.

But the here and now was great. With Steve. you looked into his baby blue eyes, and then without realising, what you have been doing, you pulled him close to you, and kissed him. You didn't love him yet. You loved Loki, but you thought, that if you act long enough, you will love Steve. And when you do, you can forget about Loki.

The only problem is that the first kiss wasn't as full of feelings and passion as Loki's, and neither was the second one. You broke the kiss, and looked at him, with watery eyes once again. You needed to tell him, that it won't work. You needed to say no to the most honest and clear eyes, you've ever seen.

"I..." you started but you didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone, that just confessed they love you, that you kissed them for a second time only to see if it's gonna work, and it doesn't? How do you say that you still love the douchebag, you are crying after, and not him, who is pure, honest and true? How do you say it? "I..." you tried to start again, but failed. You saw in Steve's eyes that this second time he understood what you wanted to say. He just knew it. From your tome, from the look in your face, or from the new tears that were falling from your eyes, that he won't be the one you chose after all.

"You have to say it out loud, otherwise I won't give up on you. Not until you tell me there's absolutely no chance." he said, as he pushed away from you. He slowly stood up, and looked down at you once again. But this was the problem. Steve was important to you, he was with you the previous time too. He was your friend. Almost more. But you wasn't sure if he could ever be anything more. But you wasn't sure of the opposite either.

You also stood up, and faced him. You looked at his lips, which held the memory of your last kiss, by reflecting some rays of the setting sun. You looked at his perfect cheekbones, you looked at his pretty jawline, and finally you looked into those sad baby blue eyes of him. You decided. you couldn't be the selfish one this time. You needed to say the truth out. It was a bad idea.

"I don't think we can be anything more than friends." you said it out loud at last. Well, not exactly loud, but you said it none the less,

"I understand. But I can't be the shoulder you cry on every time that bastard does something that makes you cry. It's like punching me in the face again and again. I hope you understand my side of the coin too." he said, then walked away. No goodbye hud, no kiss on the forehead, like some of that romantic films, no sad music either. Just the sound of the deafaning silence, and Stee's steps towards the door.

The bell ringing and you were alone once again. 

This time you couldn't cry. Your pain came from a very different place. It was more like mourning the death of your loved ones. No crying, just dry, and hot pain in your chest, making you remember, what just happened.

You turned back to the counter, when you heard the bell ring again. You turned around excitedly, just to see that Steve didn't come back. It was the lawyer.

"I hope you did turn it all around since the last time we talked." he smiled at you, but when he saw the expression on your face, it faded.

"I actually managed to make it worse." you said, with a painful grin. "Where were we, do you still remember?" you asked, as you wiped away some salty water from your cheeks.

"It was at the point when you came back here." the man said, as he sat down to th counter next to you.

"You know what? You order something, and I'll continue. At least I can do something in the meantime." you said, and you walked to the coffee machiene.

"Alright. Then I'll have the usual."

You started making the man his expresso, and you started talking. You told the man about Loki's reappearence, then all of this, who says sorry to who and why thing. Then you told him, that Loki took you out for a date, and then kissed you. And then you told the man, what happened afterwards. How he said it was a mistake, how you sent the message to the wrong number, and how you ruined you and Steve's friendship with something that was a really bad idea. Of course just like last time, you didn't say names, but the lawyer knew exactly who you were talking about. It wasn't a really hard puzzle to know. 

The man just finished drinking his coffee when you finished talking. For a few really long seconds he just stared at you, and you stared back at him. Maybe he could tell you some things, that could help you understand this undeniable feeling for Loki, or this tendency of yours how you destroy ecerything around you.

"He is not ready yet." the lawyer said.

"Ready for what? He took me to not one, but two places that could be considered to be a date. And he kissed me. All on hiw own. I didn't rush it, I didn't ask him to do it, he justdecided to do it. And then he backed out of this!" you said, slightly nervously, but still holding yourself together quite well.

"Well, believe me darling if I say so. He wasn't ready." the lawyer said. "And honestly? He might never be ready. Or he might be ready for a delationship the day after tomorrow. Who knows. All you can do is wait. Either wait for him, or give up now, and search for someone, who would accept you."

"Well, that was the idea. My idea, not so long ago. But I still couldn't do it. I can't fool myself." sou sighed, then, just so yours hands would do something, you started wiping off the counter. You did that until you found one flower petal. It was what Loki brought for you. You looked at the flowers in the vase. You walked over to  them.

"Did he brought them for you?" he asked.

"He did. But he said, that he only did it, because his basic understanding of human nature dictated, that it would be a great gift as an apology." you sighed, and took the flowers out from the vase. The water was dripping from the bottom of it, and to the floor. You held the flowers over the trash bin, but at last for whatever reason you couldn't throw them out. 

"You can't let him go, can you?"  the lawyer said smiling. You didn't see his face, but you could tell he was smiling. From instinct. You put the flowers back to the vase.

"No... Well, I suppose, I'll just close the shop and go home for today."

"You should. A lot has happened today. And maybe, you shouldn't open tomorrow at all. Just stay home, and we'll see, how you can hold up."

You just nodded, as you prepared to close the shop once again. This wasn't really a productive day. Maybe the next. After a good sleep you might do better here too.

Loki's POV

I looked through the the big windows and into  the shop as she talked to that lawyer guy. I saw Captain Ass leave the shop a few minutes ago. His face was red. I could see everything through the window, and if I wouldn't have an illusion on me, i'd be sure to fight him. But not now... I was just some old man on the other side of the street, sitting on a bench, resting. My heart was racing. Racing, and aching. I never thought that seeing her with him, kissing would make me feel like this. She is just a human. Fragile, tiny being, whith so little understanding of the world that it was almost adorable. 

Shit! What am I thinking? I shouldn't think about her so much. I souldn't... what's the human expression for it... Fall for her. Because if I do, some other people might notice me. And I really don't want anyone to start terrorizing me once again. 

But when he kissed her. It felt like I was slapped. I don't want that to happen again. 

When I realised, that I must have spaced out, she was already closing the outside door of the shop. I slowly stood up. For a moment she looked at me, but when she turned away, I hurriedly turned back to myself and walked into cover. I didn't want her to spot me, but despite that I decided to follow her. I didn't want to happen anything to her. She didn't live far anyway, so it's not like it would take too much time to look after her a bit. And not like I have anything to do.

I made myself look like some ordinary teenage boy in a hoodie, and started following her. This was my expert cover. She never noticed me if I dressed up like highschoolers. I kicked a can away from my way as I wlked after her, with both of my hands inside the pockets of my hoodie. 

Just when she almost arrived home I saw something. I saw that Captain Ass was waiting at the door of the building of her apartman. He doesn't want to contiue what happened in the shop, does he? If he touches her, with even one finger, I'm gonna interrup them. I'm not gonna wait around until they become one pair. I can't let that happen to the human I care about the most. She could do better. Like m- NO! I can't keep thinking like this. I can't be with her. It would end in a chatastrophy for me. All my hard work to disappear would be for nothing. My master plan already has cracks because she gave me coffee. Why was she nice to me, why did I stay for so long, and why did I go back for more of her tasteless drinks?

If I wanted to be honest I knew the answer. Because of her smile, which made me feel all nervous in my stomach, and for her flirty comments, which just made me want more to play with her, and her chirping voice, which I could listen to for the rest of my life, and for her...

If I could go back, and change the past, not to be noticed by the avengers, but it would mean that I wouldn't get to know her, I wouldn't change it. If it meant that I would know her, I wouldn't change anything. 

But she can't know that. No one shall know that. Because that will mean that after that, my enemies can hurt her.

Your POV

Steve was waiting for you at the door of your home. He asked if what you said is your final decision. You felt that he doesn't want to give up on you. You knew that it won't be an easy thing to let him down gently. You said yes. You saw that around his eyes, the skin was a little red. He must hae cried, even after the first rejection. Now you saw the tears gathering in his eyes. You saw as his hand slowly formed a fist, ans as the skin of his fingers slowly lost color. He was holding them really strongly. 

It was apinful to watch him like this really. You couldn't do anything about it, because if you'd do, you would only do more harm, than what was needed. 

Also, something in the back of your head, a weak little voice told you, taht it's alright, because Loki will come back.

*author's note*

Hi guys! I know, I know. I just wanted to let everyone see what's inside Loki's head, and that he already realised his feelings, he just doesn't show them yet. Soon... I want the confession to come really soon. Probably before the 15th chapter. No promises though.

Also, how did you liked my bad idea? Sorry, generally I like the good guys more in real life than the bad boys, so this uncertainity of the reader comes from there. It will disappear after this chapter. 

Lastly, please let me know if you liked what I wrote up until now. For some damned reason nobody wants to talk to me. Not only here, but not really on any other stories of mine... Are these really that bad? I'm sad, that nobody ever says anything... I will continue to write though, so look out for the next chapter. It will come eventually.

I... am... the writer. *Snaps fingers*