"I'm sorry-"

Both of us turned to each other immediately, shocked at the sound of our voices clashing. After seconds of silently staring, I fought to apologise first. "Sorry for storming out of our training session that day, I was just frustrated that I couldn't keep up with you, so I got mad at you instead of myself."

The words seem to tumble out of my mouth endlessly as if there was a script inside my head, but I did feel a tad bit lighter after those were said. Still, I bit my lip, contemplating whether I should continue considering I'm already at it. Ugh, whatever.

"Al-also, you were right," I stuttered, causing him to look at me dubiously, "I've been thinking about it a lot, and you were right. I have no true drive to keep me going, only leeching off people's comments as fuel and when that stopped, I stopped too. Having you as my main source of motivation really got me off my feet, so thank you for that."

I gulped back any disgusting feeling I felt when I finished, feeling as though I've revealed my worst weakness to my enemy. It didn't make me feel as relieved as I thought it would, rather I felt ashamed. And Donghyuck's reaction didn't make it any better.

He narrowed his eyes first as if processing my words, before raising his eyebrows in amazement and finally pulling his lips into a smirk. "What a complicated way to thank someone," he mentioned, but I couldn't afford to give more than a grimace.

"Take it or leave it. Don't you have something to say to me too?" I stared at the blocks of apartments in front of me, refusing to make eye contact with him. I hadn't gotten rid of Soobin's assumption just yet, and the thought continues to lurk around my brain like a saltwater crocodile waiting for lunch. I cannot deal with any more complications today.

"I want to apologise for that day too," he stated as I shook that disturbing thought off my mind, "I was preoccupied with the fact that my dad was coming to the competition, but that wasn't an excuse to vent out on you. Sorry."

His apology was rather hoarse, but it somehow lightened the mood a little. "Tsk, at least you're aware of that. You don't know how much I had to put up with," I blurted out, not stopping him from responding even though I knew what he was gonna say.

"Be grateful, what would you have been without my help."

I know he intended to sound arrogant, but somehow his words brought a frown to my face. Not in a bad way, but I was still confused. Why exactly did he help me? Some part of me knew it wasn't because he felt pity, although that may be one of the factors, but something deeper than that. No one would randomly waltz up to you and declare that they help you without a motive. Either he was embarrassed or... no way.

I glanced at him, debating on whether I should ask him, but what if it became awkward afterwards? I would absolutely hate that. Nonetheless, it was the only way I could find out.

"Speaking of which," I started steadily, "Is there a hidden reason why you're helping me?" I narrowed my eyes at his ludicrous ones as he let out a hideous scoff. "I thought we were done with that. Why? What have you thought of?"

"Do you perhaps... have feelings for me?"

"What?!" Donghyuck's face distorted into what one may describe as a mixture of horror, absurdity and disgust. "Of course not! Why the hell would you think that?"

But honestly, I was grateful for this reaction.

"Oh my gosh, that's a relief," I heaved out a muffled sigh, my heart rate slowly going back to normal. "I was afraid it might get awkward between us."

He laughed hysterically at my answer, staring at me in disbelief once again. "I can't believe you actually thought of that, you really must've gone bonkers from today's training."

I snarled at his remark, but the thought remained in my head. "Then why the jalapeno are you helping me? I'm pretty sure there's a logical explanation for it," I rebutted impatiently, my whole body turning to him as I awaited his answer.

"Does it really matter?" Donghyuck asked in a sigh, leaning back on his hands as if refusing to answer. This made me more sceptical.

"Why can't you just tell me? Is it that big a secret?" I pried further, and he finally showed a sign of resignation as he rolled his eyes. "It's not exactly a nice reason."

"I don't care, shoot ahead," I insisted without a second thought; anything to debunk my previous assumptions. He raised his eyebrows and sighed, "As you wish."

He then turned to look at me for a little too long that my insides started twirling, before he spoke again, "It was Coach Lee's decision, not mine."

His simple sentence wasn't enough to clear my doubts, in fact, it brought more confusion to me. "What do you mean? Coach Lee doesn't know-"

"Did you really think Coach Lee wouldn't know who you are? We live in Jeju, not on Mars," he retorted, rolling his eyes as I absorbed his words, realisation hitting the back of my head. If he knew it all this while, why did he treat me like he didn't? So that I wouldn't get unnecessary attention? Then another horrifying thought struck me. "Wait, that means-"

"Yes, he knew about the outcome of your match," Donghyuck cut me off, "But that's not what's important. He said you needed mental guidance after whatever happened and tasked me to help you for who knows what reason."

"Initially, I rejected it because it wouldn't benefit me," he rambled on, "But Coach Lee told me it could hone my coaching skills and all those stuff. I complied not because of that, but because I didn't want to get on his bad side or have him tell on me to my dad. I feel guilty for thinking that, but I couldn't take any chances." He turned to my dumbstruck face and smirked, "Satisfied? I told you it wasn't a good reason."

My mind was filled with conflicting thoughts on his story because, for all I know, he could be lying. But why would he go through such a hassle to come up with such a tale to bury some truth? Unless I could think of something better, this was ultimately the truth.

"So you went through all that just because you were told to?" I asked dubiously, starting to question his sincerity. If my point stands, he was just helping me for the sake of it, not because he pitied me, not because envied me. Did he put up with all those training... just for show?

"No."

Okay, that was a shocker.

I furrowed my eyebrows at his one-word answer, urging him to continue. He gave me a vague look, heaving out an exasperated sigh that instantly told me he was reluctant to say more. But eventually, he gave in.

"At first. Frankly speaking, I didn't like how you randomly appeared in our dojang and requested to join us, so I had no choice but to force myself to train with you when Coach Lee asked." He dragged his words with scorn and I couldn't help but roll my eyes; he made the hate quite obvious the moment I stepped foot in the gym, he didn't need to tell me again. "But you do know how to leave an impact on others."

I blinked twice as if that would make me understand his sentence. "Come again?"

"Gosh, do I really need to repeat myself..." he grumbled, "You left a great impact on me, okay? I threw away my ego for this," he snarled loudly while I grimaced with weird feelings. "Don't lie, you've been putting me down all summer."

"Yeah, I did," he confessed quickly, "But you didn't succumb to it when I thought you would, and that's... something to be proud of." He sounded like he swallowed the last syllable of each word, but I heard that compliment loud and clear. A smile grew on my face as I fought to hide it, forming something close to an impressed smile.

"That's rare coming from you," I mocked flatly as he shot me a death glare, but I couldn't be bothered as my mind went back to the topic. "So all our training sessions were not for nothing?"

Donghyuck let out a scoff. "No training is for nothing. It's up to you to believe what I said, but ultimately, you had improved since the time you joined, and it's not because of me."

I felt a little bitter when he said that, but I do want to believe that all my efforts were made in conjunction with my own willpower. I dare say he successfully implanted that mindset into my head, but I still can't forgive his brutal remarks whether he meant that or not. But let's not think about that today.

An air of silence filled the gaps between us after that, but the heavy cloud of guilt was lifted after we cleared our misunderstandings. However, it still felt like something was missing, like an empty void that hasn't been filled. I didn't want to pay attention to that though, because the atmosphere now was, I hate to say it, enjoyable.

But somewhere in my mind still wanted to clarify something.

"So..." I started again as Donghyuck looked over, "Are we cool?"

He stared at me for a while, before breaking out in a burst of mocking laughter. "Are you serious? That's such a cheesy line, even for an elementary school kid," he joked, and I suddenly felt embarrassed to have brought that up. But his next words gave me assurance.

"But if you're dying for an answer, then sure, we're cool."

---

Another day, another set of training that could possibly juice our muscles. It's only the third day of our week here, but I feel like I've hiked up the whole of Mount Fuji and back down again. And I have my roommates to side with me, even Youn who was ambitious in everything.

"The competition is in practically two days, when can he let us rest?" Soobin whined as we lunged ourselves onto the long couch in the lobby as we waited for Coach Lee's instructions. Even after this morning's vigorous warm-up, he insisted on giving us another fun surprise to remember, and we knew how the previous ones turn out.

"Coach Lee is here!" Someone hollered from the hallway as we stood up as quickly as we sat down, crowding over to the check-in area as if welcoming an important guest. "Charyeot, Kyeongnet. Good afternoon, Coach Lee."

Reading the room, he let out a chuckle, "Don't need to be so tense, I've got a special announcement today."

"Coach, the last time you said that you made us sprint to the nearest bus stop and back. How can we trust you again?" A voice from the corner raised. Coach Lee furrowed his eyebrows, pointing in that direction as he instructed, "Boo Seungkwan, fifty tuck jumps for doubting me. You're lucky today is your day off."

The lobby started filling with excited chatters at the mention of a day off, especially the ones beside me. Our coach cleared his throat loudly to return everyone's attention before continuing, "That's right, I'm giving you a rest day for today to enjoy Seoul's shops and sceneries, but be sure to be back before 8 pm, or more PT in the morning for you."

The class erupted into a series of cheers and thanks as they started filing out of the hostel in smaller groups, leaving me standing with my roommates and a few others. Youn was the first to leave.

"Well, I'm off to Kukkiwon, care to join?" She looked at the three of us, and while Soobin and Junhee agreed on the account that they go cafe hopping later, I declined her invitation. She gave me a doubtful look but decided not to question further. Meanwhile, the people who booked me first were chatting with each other.

"Sorry guys, I'm afraid I can't go with you," Haknyeon pouted as he held up his phone at us, leading me to squint at the small messages on the screen. "My friends are in town to watch the tournament and they invited me to lunch."

Despite his friend's statement, Donghyuck's expression remained stoic. "So you're going with them?"

"You know I haven't met up with them in a long time," Haknyeon pleaded, "And Kevin is going back to Canada soon. I'll meet up with them quickly and see y'all later, okay?"

Before either of us could reply, he rushed out the door with his phone pressed to his ear while his friend let out a sigh. Gosh, they don't look like it but they're actually inseparable. After he was out of sight, Donghyuck turned to me.

"Let's go, we have to make it back by 6." He exited the building first as I followed behind swiftly.

---

been cutting the chaps oddly because of the word count but hopefully it doesnt disrupt the flow