"Let's now begin this trial against Jung Hoseok."

-

— 51 days before

Morning were the worst. You could think falling asleep would be the worst because you know you're about to face your nightmares and you are alone, thinking again and again about the demons haunting you until late at night, but mornings are worse.

Waking up in a cold bed. Opening your eyes to see an empty room. And suddenly, as sleep fades away, everything hits you again. It hits you harder than at night when you think about what hurts. It hits harder because you were in such a peaceful state of mind and suddenly, everything is back. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness. And you're left there, lying in an empty bed, gazing at the ceiling as you feel like suffocating.

It hits harder because you realize it wasn't just a nightmare and you have to go on with your day as if it was. As if nothing had happened and you weren't broken. As if the smile on your face had ever been real.

-

— 41 days before

This day, you had been informed the police managed to link Hoseok to a house in a forest near your city. It made everything more real. Your nightmare, the three years spent locked in there, the guilt of Hoseok. It all felt more real.

JUNGKOOK'S FOCUS

3:47am
Jungkook was sleeping on Taehyung's couch, as he had been doing for a month. He still wasn't sure about his relationship with Soyeon so he just let her have the apartment for now while he stayed at his best friend's place.

This night, he was woken up by his phone ringing next to him. At first he thought about ignoring whoever was calling, but then the anxiousness about what happened to you came back to him as usual and he checked who was calling. When he read your name on his phone, his heart missed a beat and he immediately picked up, trying to keep his breath calm.

"Y/N ?" he whispered, his heartbeat echoing in his ears while you stayed silent. That's only when he heard you sniffling he understood why you called.

Years ago, you promised each other to always pick up the call when one of you would be too sad to even say anything, and just wait until you would eventually fall asleep. And with what happened the day before, he understood why you would call at 4am and not say anything, your words stuck inside because of your sadness.

He shifted to a comfortable position, his phone next to his ear, and he listened to your silence without saying anything, just letting you know he was there by the sound of his calm breath.

He hoped he was still important enough to calm you down just by knowing he was there for you in the middle of the night. He hoped you were listening to his breath and that made your tears stop and your heart less heavy. He hoped he was still your comfort place just like he used to be, before.

-

— 31 days before

You went to the police station to talk about what would happen the next month, how the trial would go and how you should prepare to it. After finishing your meeting with an officer and your lawyer, you waited for the elevator to leave the place.

When the doors opened though, you froze looking inside the elevator. Hoseok was staring at you with wide eyes, dark bags under his eyes and surrounded by two officers holding him in place. You stayed still, unable to say or do anything in his presence.

"I never meant to hurt you," he whispered just before the doors closed again, turning your blood cold. You remained paralyzed for a few seconds even after the elevator left, your whole body feeling cold suddenly. When finally you came back to your mind, you took the stairs on the verge of tears, Hoseok's face haunting your mind.

-

— 21 days before

You were watching the TV in your new apartment your parents bought for you. After Hoseok's arrest, you felt safe enough to live alone again and they were so happy to see you take a fresh start they decided to pay for everything while you just had to worry about starting your studies again.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and you first thought one of your friends must be visiting to see how the apartment was like. However, when you opened the door, you felt your world freeze for a second as you stepped back in fear.

In front of you was standing Soyeon looking like a mess. Your heartbeat had increased immediately as soon as you had seen her recognizable features reminding you of Hoseok. When she saw you step back in fear, she lifted her hands in a way to show you she meant no harm but you still gripped the handle, ready to close the door in case she tried to go in.

"Y/N, I-" she paused, choking on tears while fidgeting, "I came to apologize."

You stared at her, biting your lips to contain the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. Your hand was hurting because of how hard you were gripping the handle, your knuckles turning white slowly. You gulped hardly, not knowing what to do as you looked at the poor girl breaking down in front of you. Her hair was messy and her eyes were red and swollen. A quick glance at her hands showed you how eaten away by guilt she was as her nails were all bitten when they used to be so well manicured.

"If I had known about what he would do I swear I would've done anything I could to prevent it," she stuttered, shakily wiping some tears off her cheeks.

You almost felt like laughing at this very moment. Almost.

"I didn't know he was like that, I promise," she whispered, looking at you with pleading eyes. You didn't even know what she was pleading for but just knowing she was the reason you had your life ruined made you ignore how bad she seemed to feel.

You stepped back once again, ignoring her with a blank face, before closing the door without a word. You locked it right after before standing there, listening to her cries behind the door as your heartbeat calmed down little by little. When finally, after long minutes, you heard her walk away and her cries faded, you went back on your couch and turned the TV on again.

And you went back to your routine, the event vanishing from your mind soon after to avoid letting it hurt you more.

-

— 11 days before

He was marking your skin when someone knocked on the door he was blocking you against. His lips stopped working on your neck and he pushed you to the side to press his ear against the door.

"Do you know who it is ?" Hoseok asked quietly and you shook your head, your heart beating out of your chest. It had to be Taehyung. It was your last chance to escape all this. "Who is this ?" he asked louder this time and you both waited, staring at the door as if you could see through it.

"It's Taehyung."

You held back a sigh of relief as Hoseok glared at you, clenching his jaw. He put his hands on your shoulders and led you to the corner of the room, so that Taehyung couldn't see you from the front door. He then went to open the door calmly, as if everything was alright.

"Where is she ?" you heard Taehyung ask and you wanted to scream for help but you were too scared for that.

"She is okay. Why are you here ?" Hoseok said, not answering the question.

"I would like to see her. It's important," Taehyung said calmly but you could feel anger in his voice.

"She is with me for the moment, you can see her tomorrow if you want."

A shiver ran down your spine and you decided to do something. As quietly as you could, you took a vase that was near you and you started walking slowly towards Hoseok. The more you got closer, the more your heart was going crazy inside your chest but you managed to stay quiet. When you were only a few steps away from him, your eyes met Taehyung's and you knew he saw what you were going to do. He knew you weren't okay. He kept on asking Hoseok to see you, not flinching. When you were a step away from him, you lifted the vase above your head and a second later, it crashed on Hoseok's head.

You woke up in a cold sweat, your blanket tossed to the ground and your heart beating way too fast. You looked around you and your breath calmed down a little when you saw Jimin sleeping in a mattress next to your bed. You lay back down, finding a comfortable position as you closed your eyes, trying to relax again.

Nightmares were a part of your routine now so you didn't panic as much as before, even though you could still feel Hoseok's cold lips on your neck paralyzing you.

-

— 1 day before

"Are you nervous ?"

You kept your eyes on the water moving slowly in front of you, feeling Namjoon's eyes on you. You moved your legs in the water to create more waves, distracting you from reality for a second.

"I'm angry."

Namjoon nodded, still gazing at you intensely, as if he was trying to read your secrets and your feelings. You eventually looked back at him and he gave you a little smile, not breaking the eye-contact.

"It will go well, I know it. You won't have to be angry for too long," he said softly as you looked back at the water, staring back at your reflection. You could see the doubt tinting your face so you looked away, afraid to let it take over you.

"I'll never stop being angry."

He didn't say anything and just brought you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you leaned your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes, letting the sound of the water melting with Namjoon's breath calm you as a clock ticked in your head, reminding you the day was coming.

-

— present

"Let's now begin this trial against Jung Hoseok."

You took a deep breath, keeping your head up to avoid showing any sign of weakness. You could feel the eyes of all your friends on you but you kept yours on the judge in front of you, your back straight as you focused on keeping a steady heartbeat.

"Please bring in the defendant."

The roar of blood in your ears was deafening as you watched officers moving around to bring him. When eventually, after a few seconds of heavy silence, Hoseok appeared behind an officer, your heart missed a beat. All your muscles stiffened as he scanned the audience, looking for you. And when his eyes finally found you, you felt so little suddenly, as if the control he had over you for years was still there and you were at his mercy all over again.

Taehyung's eyes went back and forth between you and Hoseok as time seemed to have stopped in the hall. And as he looked at your eyes following Hoseok, he could see it. And everyone could see it.

How this man who seemed so fragile had turned you in a ghost of yourself. A broken ghost.