Description: Yuta and Taeyong, two complete strangers, have been patients in the hospital (Taeyong not for nearly as long as Yuta has been) but as time goes on, the two of them start feeling some sort of a connection with the one they would spend their days with everyday. Though, one day Taeyong finally learns that he is going to be discharged from the hospital.. but is Yuta going to have the same fate?

(Fluff, heavy angst, mentions of depression and panic attacks, neurological issues; very long oneshot)
———————

April 16th

It's been almost 3 months since Yuta had been sent to the hospital for a simple checkup, after which he was greeted with some unfortunate news.

The Japanese had never experienced any sort of health complications before, not even as a kid.

He's always been very healthy, excluding some flus here and there. His dream was to become a soccer player so that's what he had spent doing since he had turned 5 years old because his parents had decided to let him start attending the local soccer training centre.

Yuta has always loved sports, especially soccer, and he knew that this was definitely what he wanted to do when he grows up.

Alas, here he was, 20 years later.. stuck in a hospital and battling a disease he never knew he would have to battle in his entire life.

Yuta had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (or ALS for short) which is a neurological disease that affects the nerve cells in the brain and makes the neurons die which basically meant that they would stop sending messages to the muscles which would cause them to weaken, twitch or even waste away.

The brain would lose the ability to control voluntary movements which had resulted into Yuta basically not being able to walk anymore, let alone play soccer.

He was so upset at himself, thinking it was all his fault for not noticing the symptoms he had in the past and taking any measures earlier.

Yuta had recently started experiencing these horrible muscle cramps and twitches in his arms and legs but he would ignore them, thinking it was all due to fatigue from practising so much.

However, he had finally learned what was actually wrong with his body when he had visited his doctor who had brought these terrible news after a very long check up and consultations with other specialists.

The moment in which he had explained to the Japanese that the disease would only get worse as time goes on, Yuta had understood that this meant that he would probably never be able to play soccer again.

It really shattered his entire world, making him feel so hopeless and useless. He didn't even know what he was supposed to do anymore.

The doctor had advised him to stay in the hospital because even if this disease didn't have a cure, it needed to be treated by a list of different tests and techniques which could at least help preventing it from getting worse.

Yuta had no choice but to listen to the doctor and become a patient of the hospital, not really knowing for how long but he just thought that he didn't really have anything more to lose at this point..

He had lost the one passion that he's had in life, the one thing he was good at and the one thing that would bring him so much joy.

~~~

And that's how he had gotten to where he was right now. His days were a mixture of an endless cycle of misery and hopelessness, paired with all the different treatments he would have to go through everyday because, probably as everyone has already guessed, his condition had gotten worse.

Even in the span of just three months, everything had gotten so much worse. Since it was a neurological disease it had started affecting other muscles in his body as well.

Speaking and forming words had now become difficult for the Japanese and so had chewing and swallowing food..

The other problem was the fact that he could no longer maintain his weight so he had lost quite a few pounds and his once fit sporty body was no longer prominent and was replaced with this bony and unhealthy looking frame.

As if that was even possible, his walking problem had gotten even worse as well and he could no longer get in or out of the hospital bed on his own.

It just felt like his entire world had begun falling apart...

That was until a ray of light had appeared in his life, showing him that there were still things that were worth living for.

It was a guy who had been admitted to the hospital a few weeks after Yuta, seemingly around his age.

The Japanese was in a room of his own but since the hospital had started getting more and more packed with patients, all the rooms were now occupied so there was nowhere to put the unknown guy so they had to transfer him to Yuta's room for the time being.

The Japanese didn't mind that and made sure to tell the very worried nurse who had brought him here that it was totally fine for him to stay.

Once the lady had left the room and the two of them alone, Yuta had immediately taken interest in his new "roommate".

He hadn't seen anyone else other than his doctors and therapists ever since he had gotten here so of course he would be intrigued, even if it was just a complete stranger.

Yuta wanted to make a good first impression so he gathered all his strength and tried to talk but his words would often come out as slurs, especially as of late.

It was so difficult for him to talk and form his words. That was one of the symptoms that would mess his mental health the most.

Having no ability to say what he wants or needs was often the reason behind him ending up being in horrible pain because he wasn't able to tell the doctors what part of his body hurt exactly.

The Japanese felt like crying at times because of this.. and he actually did, quite often and that's why they had designated a therapist for him as well.

Yuta wanted to just greet the other boy but he struggled so much that he didn't even realise how he had started having an anxiety attack again.

He would have them so often that it wasn't even a surprise to anyone anymore.

The stranger was just simply lying in his bed and was looking to the other side, not really wanting to make eye contact with Yuta since he was very shy around strangers and he didn't think that it would be appropriate for him to talk right now since he had just been brought in here.

Unfortunately, that plan of his soon had to come to an end when he heard some shifting and heavy breathing coming from the other side of the room.

He turned his head in the speed of light and noticed that the Japanese was having some sort of a crisis which immediately made the stranger press the button next to his bed to call a nurse and check on him.

It took only about a minute until the same lady who had brought the unknown guy came to the room, gasping when she noticed that Yuta was having difficulties again.

This was like the 3rd time this week..

She immediately went to him and pressed the button next to his bed which alarmed another nurse that came to the room even faster than the first one.

"He is having an anxiety attack again, please find the therapist and ask him to come here quickly."

The second nurse nodded her head and left the room, soon coming back with the man who would usually help take care of Yuta's mental struggles.

He immediately saw how serious it was so he asked the two nurses to help push the bed out of the room and take him somewhere else.

Yuta's roommate just watched this whole thing unfold in front of his eyes, not really knowing what he could do but he felt really bad and scared.

He finally made eye contact with Yuta just as they were taking him away, noticing truly how unstable and weak he looked.

At that moment, the stranger felt like his own situation definitely wasn't the worst, seeing how there are so many other people who suffer even more than him.. so much more.

Who was this stranger anyway?

His name was Taeyong and he was in fact Yuta's age, just a few months older. The reason why he was here was not nearly as serious as Yuta's but it was still pretty bad.

Taeyong had recently broken his arm and it was now in a cast. His doctor had told him that it would probably take some time for it to heal but he could definitely go back to his normal life once he gets discharged from the hospital.

He had to stay in here for a bit though because the injury was quite bad. Taeyong had accepted the fact that he wouldn't be able to go back home for a bit but he definitely wasn't the biggest fan of hospitals since they would always give him the creeps.

Well, now that whole thing was not on his mind at all. All he could think about was his roommate who he hadn't even had the chance to look at properly because they had taken him away to god knows where.

Taeyong had a very pure heart so he felt really concerned for him, even if he was in fact a complete stranger.

Why was he so worried for him and why couldn't he stop thinking about him the entire time he was gone?

Taeyong sighed heavily as he just closed his eyes and decided to take a small rest, hoping that once he wakes up, his roommate would be back in the room, feeling better than earlier.

~One 2 hour long nap later~

Taeyong's eyes finally opened, remembering that he was still here in this scary place with cold white walls and light grey floorings.

Everything just felt unworldly and unsettling in here. The smell, the cold visual of the building, the eery silence that would sometimes break due to the sounds and footsteps coming from the other side of the door, probably from all the doctors and nurses walking around.

He moved his body up as much as he could, paying attention to his arm and making sure he isn't bending it in a potentially dangerous way.

Once he was finally in a comfortable position, he spotted Yuta who was actually back and was in his bed, sleeping.

He looked so much calmer than earlier, as if nothing had happened.

Taeyong actually wasn't aware for how long he had slept so he didn't know how long it had taken for the therapist to stabilise and calm Yuta down either.. which was exactly about 2 hours.

The Korean spent some time observing Yuta in silence, wondering what his story was and why he was here and for how long he had been here.

His condition definitely seemed way worse than Taeyong's, maybe even like 10 times worse.

The Korean's eyes then wandered around some more, now noticing the crutches and wheelchair that were set on the other side of Yuta's hospital bed.

That made Taeyong even more concerned, actually feeling guilty that he had been transferred to his room. This boy clearly needed some privacy and peace and not suddenly receiving the news that he would be having a roommate.

After a few more minutes of silence, Yuta's eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times so they could adjust.

The Japanese didn't really remember what had happened earlier, his brain choosing to delete the moments in which he would struggle like this and just let him forget them instead.

He sniffled quietly as he then tried reaching for the little movable table that was next to his side that had his glasses on it.

Yuta was just about to reach them but then his arm twitched really badly which earned a wail from the Japanese who quickly pulled it back and held it with his hand.

He would often get these twitches and they were really painful sometimes, especially the ones in his arms.

Taeyong immediately perked up when he saw the other struggle again. The Korean managed to stand up and go over to Yuta's bed, giving a chance to the Japanese to finally look at him better but also scaring him a bit because he wasn't expecting it.

"Are you okay? Can-can I help you with something? I-I am Taeyong.. I never got to introduce myself earlier but now I can. I am really sorry if you feel uncomfortable that I am here.. I can ask the nurse to check for a free hospital bed in the other rooms again.."

Yuta shook his head, wanting to let the other know that he really didn't mind that he was staying in his room but he was going through such a terrible pain in his arm again that he felt like crying.

"I-I...I...." he stuttered but nothing else managed to come out of his mouth. Taeyong had noticed how Yuta was already starting to stress out again so he did his absolute best to keep him calm.

"No no no. It's okay. Please don't rush. I just want you to be okay and to stay calm. You.. uhh.. you were reaching for something.. I assume the glasses?"

Taeyong carefully picked Yuta's glasses from the table and helped putting them on the Japanese's face.

"There we go.. see? Everything is okay. Just please stay calm. Take slow and deep breaths."

Taeyong's occupation was actually a kindergarten teacher so he was used to taking care of people, even if they were usually way younger than Yuta.

"We will be spending quite a long time together.. so might as well get to know each other, yeah? I am really sorry for earlier.. I wish I could help in some way.. but I can't really do much with one arm."

"It's okay. Already helped me e-enough" Yuta managed to let out as he then also smiled weakly, which earned a smile from Taeyong as well.

He was so happy to finally hear him speak without struggling so much. Taeyong had to admit that he could feel there was something special about Yuta but he didn't know what it was yet.

"I-I am Yuta.. sorry for worrying you earlier.. it-it happens a lot.. my anxiety.. I didn't mean to an-and-"

Taeyong felt his heart shattering, noticing how the Japanese was already on the verge of tears yet again.

He spotted a little packet of napkins next to where Yuta's glasses were placed at so he took one and handed it to the Japanese.

Yuta was so overwhelmed by so many different emotions right now that he felt so lost. He just wiped his face and then his hand reached for something that was next to his pillow.

Taeyong couldn't quite understand what it was but when Yuta finally brought it a bit closer to himself, the Korean saw that it was a little octopus plushie.

It was like the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Yuta's had that toy ever since he was little and it was his comfort item, always being there for him in hard moments but not always having the ability to help him out.

"This is Tako.. m-my octopus" Yuta explained as he felt a bit embarrassed about it but also felt like Taeyong had already seen the worst of him when he had his anxiety attack earlier so learning that he had a comfort stuffed animal didn't seem so bad right now.

"Tako? Like.. takoyaki? Wait.. Yu..ta.. ah! You are from Japan, right?"

"Y-yes.."

"That's amazing! I've never had a friend from Japan before!"

"You want us to be friends? Are we f-friends?"

"Of course we are! I am your roommate so might as well be your friend, right? I think that makes sense"

Yuta smiled once again, his big boba eyes now looking like two beautiful crescents. Taeyong felt his world turn upside down when he finally saw Yuta's real smile, swearing that he's never seen a more beautiful smile in his entire life.

It was such a shame that this smile hid so much sorrow and pain behind it, due to Yuta's poor and broken mental and psychical state.

"How long has it been since you became a patient of this hospital? Has it been a long time?" Taeyong asked softly as he sat on Yuta's bed, making sure he wasn't sitting that close to him since they still basically knew almost nothing about each other and he wanted to give him space.

"It.. uhh.. it has been almost three w-weeks.. I think? I can't remember.."

Taeyong had the hardest time understanding what Yuta was saying because he was in fact slurring quite a lot, making it very difficult for Taeyong to keep up with him.

"What was that, Yuta? Can you please repeat it again?" Taeyong was making sure he was being as gentle and careful as possible but what he had just said must've been a trigger for Yuta because it immediately caused his face to wrinkle up again and his lips to turn upside down, already looking like he was on the verge of another crisis.

The thing was, the reason behind Yuta's constant anxiety attacks was because he was aware.. he was aware of his progressive loss of function and how everything was just getting worse and worse everyday.

He knew that people struggled understanding him and that affected him even worse than the fact that he basically couldn't use his legs anymore.

Yuta was so tired of repeating and trying to explain himself because he knew that the more he would try, the more unclear his speech would get.

"Mm..m-.. it doesn't matter.." Yuta just turned around as he held onto his plushie, trying not to cry again because he didn't want his roommate to see him being so unstable literally all the time.

He wished he could just calm down and talk normally but it was just so hard for him. Not only did he struggle walking without any help but he couldn't even speak properly anymore.

He felt like he was ageing backwards, so many functions of his body no longer being developed and his emotions being all messed up and like they were increased tenfold.

"It's okay.. please don't feel bad.. I am sorry.. I didn't mean to make you sad. I just wanted to get to know you.. that's all. I meant no harm."

Taeyong felt like he was just making things worse and worse while he was trying to help. Maybe it really wasn't a good idea at all.

But he couldn't just leave Yuta suffer like this. He wanted to make him feel happy and like he has a friend who is here for him.. the fact that he had spent so long here without any company definitely made Taeyong feel pretty sad for him.

He didn't even know what his health issues actually were but from what he had seen just from today, he could tell that it was something neurological.

Patients with diseases like that needed to be taken care of with utmost caution and that's why there was a whole team of professionals behind Yuta's treatment.

"If.. if you want to rest, then I will just go back to my bed as well. Please tell me if you need help with something, okay? I will try to help as much as I can."

Yuta just let out some sort of a sound that Taeyong took as an agreement so he softly patted him on the head before he got off the bed and went back to his own.

Taeyong spent the next 20 minutes watching something on his phone until he heard Yuta making noises again, probably indicating that he needs something.

The Korean slowly made his way to Yuta's bed, carefully taking a hold of his hand to let him know that he was here.

"Do you need something? Should I call a nurse or a doctor?" Taeyong could sense that something was wrong but he couldn't really know what it was unless Yuta told him.

And he did.. well... he tried his best.

"Please.. help me get up. I-I need to use the r-restroom" Yuta already guessed that Taeyong would probably ask him to repeat again so he didn't even wait for him to respond and pointed at the wheelchair and then at the restroom that the room thankfully had because it was actually a single patient room, meant for patients with more severe difficulties than others.

Taeyong understood what the Japanese wanted from him so he nodded and went over to the other side of the bed to help Yuta get up.

Unfortunately, Taeyong didn't know how bad Yuta's case with his walking was so when he tried to get him off of the bed, the Japanese's legs immediately gave out and he was literally going to fall flat on his face if Taeyong hadn't caught him on time with his non broken arm.

"Oh my god.. are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" Taeyong was an overall jumpy guy so he would freak out really easily. He definitely wasn't expecting this because Yuta hadn't told him anything about his condition at all.

"It's.. it's normal.. just please help me sit d-down.." Taeyong pouted sadly as he pushed the wheelchair closer to them with his leg.

Once it was close enough, he carefully sat Yuta in it and then went behind him, pushing him to the restroom and then turning the light on for him.

It was Taeyong's first time seeing a restroom for disabled people so he didn't really know how Yuta was going to do this on his own and he definitely didn't know if it was appropriate for him to offer his help, since they had in fact met just a few hours ago.

"Um.. Yuta..? How- uhh.. how are you going to do this? Don't you need help? I will call the nurse, okay? Just wait here."

The Japanese nodded as a response, feeling thankful that he didn't have to explain and that Taeyong had read the room.

The Korean had pressed the button next to his bed which had signalled that he would need assistance from a nurse again.

Thankfully, one did come very fast and asked Taeyong what he needed help with. He explained that it was Yuta who was the one that needed help and then also told her with what.

She and the rest of the people who worked here would take care of hundreds of people with numerous different diseases and health issues so they were all trained to help the patients with literally anything.

She carefully took Yuta inside the restroom and then closed the door, the two of them then leaving it after like 3 minutes.

The lady then helped take Yuta back to his bed and then made sure he was okay before she left the room.

The Japanese sighed softly as he was now back in his bed. All he could do was lie down whole day, go to receive his treatment and therapy and take medicine.

He couldn't even do the simplest tasks alone anymore.. and the reason why he was here was because he was way too unstable to live on his own and he genuinely needed a group of people taking care of him and supervising him almost 24 hours a day.

Yuta just wished this nightmare could end and that he could go back to his normal life.. but he couldn't.

He could no longer do any of the things that made him happy. He was just stuck here, feeling like a prisoner and feeling so weak and helpless.

Even eating food had gotten difficult and troublesome for the Japanese, to the point where he literally had nurses helping him with that as well.

He genuinely felt like he was a 3 year old stuck in an adult's body. He just couldn't do anything anymore.

And it was way too obvious that he was going through this very badly, his mental health was worse than it's ever been before, to the point where even his therapist would struggle at times.

His physical health was absolutely horrible but somehow, not even close to how he was feeling in his heart.

"Yong.." Taeyong was still in the middle of the room, standing there ever since Yuta had asked him to help him earlier. He immediately looked at the Japanese as soon as he heard his name, though not expecting it to be in the form of a nickname.

"I.. I am sorry.. for-for worrying you. And-and for asking for your h-help.." Taeyong actually managed to understand Yuta this time, making his way to his bed again.

"What do you mean? Why are you apologising? There is no need. Of course I helped you. Was I supposed to just leave you suffer like this? That would be inhumane.."

Taeyong pouted yet again, noticing that Yuta was actually looking really exhausted right now, even if he had taken a nap earlier.

The Korean assumed that it must've taken a long time for the therapist to stabilise him and that was why he was so tired. He probably hadn't even rested enough.

"You need to take a nap.. or even sleep for a bit longer. It's not good to stay awake too much when you are feeling unwell. We can talk again when you wake up, okay?"

Taeyong was just about to leave back for his own bed but he felt Yuta holding a fistful of his shirt, not letting him leave.

"Wait.." Yuta pleaded and Taeyong turned around once again, wondering if the Japanese was in the need of something else.

"I.. can uhh.. no. Forget it. I will just go to-to sleep.." Yuta sighed as he moved down slightly and laid his head on his pillow.

"No.. please tell me. I am here. I will try my best to help." Taeyong wanted to assure that Yuta wasn't annoying him at all and that he could ask him for help whenever he wanted.

The Korean felt like he owed it to Yuta, even if he genuinely had known him for only a few hours at this point.

"I.. I am really sorry.. for-for acting like-like this.. I've never h-had a roommate before and-and I am really nervous t-that you are not g-going to like me.."

Taeyong was definitely not expecting to hear Yuta admitting how he was truly feeling and the fact that he also confessed that he was afraid that Taeyong was not going to like him.

What was there not to like in Yuta? That's what the Korean thought to himself when he heard the Japanese say this to him.

Taeyong could already feel some sort of a personal connection with the Japanese, not even caring that he only knew the most basic information about him.

"Yuta.. you really need to stop worrying about this. You have enough things on your plate already.. I should definitely be the least of your concerns. And for the protocol, I think that you are a very sweet boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, not at all."

Yuta felt a new wave of emotions hitting him as soon as he heard Taeyong's last sentence, struggling to comprehend it since he's always heard the absolute opposite of it coming from his doctors.

Not directly of course, but Yuta would often overhear them talking about him when they were just outside the door or even in his room whenever they would think that he was asleep but he actually wasn't.

They would keep saying to each other how he is "broken" and that there is basically no hope for him to ever recover, seemingly aware that even if they did their absolute best, Yuta was just going to stay the same way and was not going to get better at all.

"Nothing is-is wrong with m-me..?" Yuta repeated almost in disbelief, his eyes now moving away from Taeyong and looking to the side.

The Korean really had no idea how truly hopeless Yuta's condition was and how much he had gone through during the time he's spent here.

Yet somehow he wanted to make him feel happy and like everything was going to be okay. How could he be so positive like that?

Yuta really struggled understanding that.

"Yes. You are perfect just the way you are and you don't need to worry about being annoying to anyone.. everyone understands your situation and that's why they want to help. Myself included."

Yuta just sighed as Taeyong had sat down on his bed next to him yet again. Even if the Japanese was still struggling to understand this, Taeyong had truly been the best thing that has happened to him in the past three months.

The Japanese finally felt like there was someone who was able to understand him and be honest with him, without hiding the truth from him.

Just as the two of them were having a conversation, Yuta heard the door open so he immediately turned his head to the right and noticed that it was a nurse who was carrying two trays with hospital lunches.

The Korean's eyes lit up since he was feeling quite hungry and would take anything. Yuta on the other hand didn't look happy at all. He just faced the other way while the lady came to his bed and placed the food on the little table that was a part of the hospital bed.

She then went over to Taeyong's bed and also placed his lunch there, smiling at both of them before she exited the room.

The Korean was indeed really hungry so he immediately went over to his bed and sat down.

Even if he could only use one of his hands, that was not enough to stop him from imminently diving into the food which happened to be chicken and mashed potatoes today.

The Korean liked eating quite a lot but it wasn't that noticeable since he was kind of on the skinnier side.

He really was so hungry that the entire portion was gone in merely 5 minutes. Taeyong smiled to himself once he had finished eating and then also took the glass of water the nurse had brought as well.

Once he was finally done with his lunch and drink, he looked over at Yuta who hadn't moved ever since Taeyong had left his bed.

He was just lying down and looking at the lunch that was in front of him, not a single thing written on his face since he was quite literally just blankly staring.

"Yuta? Are you not going to eat? The food is going to get cold-" Taeyong didn't receive a response from Yuta which further confused him. Was he not feeling well again?

"Yuta.. are you feeling sick? I can call a nurse to come in and check on you if you want-"

"No, I.. I just.. can't eat." Yuta sighed as he then hid himself underneath the covers, feeling like disappearing from this world once and for all.

"You can't? Is there something wrong with your food?" Taeyong really wanted to help the younger out so he got up again and slowly made his way to Yuta's bed once more.

"I.. I can't.." Yuta really struggled forming his sentences especially when he was feeling sad so he didn't even bother explaining further because he already knew it was most likely going to come out as slurs yet again.

"I can help you. I am here. Roommates help each other, right? I just need you to-" Taeyong carefully grabbed the blanket that Yuta was covering himself with and held it up a bit, uncovering the Japanese who once again looked exactly like a very sad five year old boy.

That was like his default expression.

Taeyong didn't actually know how old Yuta was but he had previously assumed that he was around his age. Though, as he spent more and more time with him, he was starting to feel like Yuta was genuinely like 5 or 6 years younger than him.

Not only was he looking really childlike due to his softer looking face but he was also acting younger too.

Taeyong didn't want to ask Yuta about his age though because he felt like something in that question could potentially trigger him as well.

He was very careful around Yuta, making sure he was always conversing with him in a soft manner, wanting to help him ease up and stay calm.

"I don't w-want to eat.. it hurts.." Yuta confessed and then immediately pouted. It was quite obvious that he was really hungry, judging by the way he was looking at the food.

He just couldn't eat on his own anymore though. Not only was it difficult to form his speech but he had difficulties with chewing and swallowing as well.

That was the reason his doctor had suggested that he should mainly eat softer foods and soups but it seemed like the nurse that had brought the food had made a mistake.

There was no way Yuta could eat that chicken. He still could eat the mashed potatoes though but he was just feeling so upset every time he would see food, even the one he could eat because it was painful to him no matter the texture at this point.

"It hurts? I am so sorry.. maybe we can ask for a different meal? Or you can just have the water for now?"

Yuta genuinely felt like ending it at all at times due to his countless struggles. He was so tired of living like this. He had enough of it.

Taeyong didn't receive a response from Yuta this time so he just helped him sit up in the bed and then he joined him as well.

The Korean picked up the little bowl of mashed potatoes and then started stirring them up a bit with the spoon.

He didn't know if Yuta could eat this but he assumed that it would be easier to consume the softer food.

Taeyong was used to taking care of children and Yuta felt just like one most of the times so the Korean didn't really find it that difficult to help him out.

The Japanese finally looked up and noticed the bowl in Taeyong's hands, already starting to get nervous because he didn't know if he would be able to eat this and he didn't want to be even more of a burden to Taeyong... because that was exactly how he felt.

"See? It's very soft and it's delicious. Maybe you can try having this? I ate it too and it was really good."

"I.. I don't know.. if-if I will be able to.." Yuta whimpered but his stomach then growled really loudly which made him feel embarrassed.

He was indeed very hungry but he was way too scared to put any sort of food in his mouth at this point.

Taeyong pouted and then carefully took a little spoonful of the potatoes and helped Yuta eat it.

The Japanese swished it in his mouth for a bit but he couldn't swallow it so he started chocking which scared the angels out of Taeyong, immediately putting the meal aside and trying to help Yuta spit out the food.

When the Japanese finally got it out of his mouth, he took a deep breath and then started panting heavily, feeling like he was about to drown or something if he had kept that food in his mouth for a few more seconds.

"Oh my god.. I am so sorry.. I really thought that you would be able to eat it. It was very soft so I thought-"

Taeyong was feeling like an actual monster right now for pressuring Yuta to eat when he had told him a couple of times that he was probably not going to be able to swallow it down.

"I am so sorry.. I am really sorry.." He was feeling so bad that he wanted to punch himself for it. As if Yuta didn't struggle enough today, he had to do that to him as well.

"N-no.. it's okay.. I.. am not mad." Yuta managed to let out before he started panting again, rubbing his stomach a bit and trying to force himself to stop being hungry because it was clear that no food was going to get inside him today.

"I.. I just wanted to help you.. but I did the exact opposite. I made things worse.. that's all I ever do.."

Taeyong was really beating himself up over this quite a lot which made Yuta feel even worse than the Korean was feeling.

This was all because he couldn't do anything on his own and he would constantly need help from others.

If he could depend on himself and live like a normal person again, he would never need anyone to assist him with anything.

"It's okay.. Taeyong shouldn't be u-upset.. he already helped e-enough.." Taeyong sighed as he averted his eyes back to Yuta. "But I did the exact opposite.. I haven't done anything helpful at all.. and I feel terrible. I wanted to-to help you.."

"But why..? Have you not h-heard already..? I can't be helped.." Taeyong refused to listen to Yuta saying this, figuring that this was probably something that Yuta had overheard from the doctors and nurses who would take care of him.

"I am broken.. there is-is no point. No point in trying a-anymore.." Yuta felt this extreme heaviness in his heart whenever he would think about his situation and how horrible it truly was but he had to accept it at some point because there was truly no way he could ever recover and go back to his normal life.

This was his "normal" now.

"You aren't broken! If you think that you are then.. I.. I also am broken! Look!" Taeyong brought his broken arm closer to Yuta so he could look at it again and realise that Taeyong was right but it didn't seem like it worked.

"Yes.. but that's.. different.. you don't understand.."

~5 weeks later~

It's been quite some time now since Taeyong had become Yuta's roommate.

The two would spend all their time together, to the point where they had grown inseparable.

Whenever there were no nurses or doctors around, Taeyong would be the one who would always take care of Yuta, completely devoting his entire time and energy to him.

The Korean wouldn't even look at his phone anymore. He had found something more important than anything else he's had before.

Every time he would see or even hear Yuta struggle, he would make his way to his bed and try his absolute best to help him in any possible way, wanting to be there for the Japanese and wanting to show him that he truly meant a lot to him.

Taeyong's arm was feeling better and better each day. He would even be able to use his fingers again and grab things without feeling pain anymore.

His doctor was really happy with how fast it was healing so he had even removed the cast and had switched it to a smaller one so the Korean could start moving his arm more and get used to it again.

On the other hand, while Taeyong was feeling better with each day passing, Yuta was only getting worse.

He could barely talk at this point and had started developing dementia as well. His anxiety had turned into depression which was so serious that he now had three different therapists taking care of him.

The Japanese would try his best to still remain positive but it was getting more and more difficult.

The only thing that kept him going at this point was Taeyong with his infectious happiness, even if the Korean was also extremely sorrowful on the inside because he could not act like he wasn't noticing what was happening to his friend.

It was really difficult for Taeyong to actually keep being so positive anymore because every time he would look at Yuta, he would start thinking of the worst possible scenarios and those things would just keep repeating in his head over and over again.

And then, there stood that one question that Taeyong had been asking himself ever since he met Yuta for the first time.

What was so special in him and why was he the only person that's ever made Taeyong's heart feel and beat in this strange way?

Who exactly was Yuta to him?

~~~

The two were currently spending their day as they usually would. Taeyong was looking through the window and Yuta was sitting in his wheelchair next to him.

It was actually Yuta who had requested them to come here all those weeks ago when they had first met and it had now become their regular activity during this time of the day.

Taeyong didn't really know why but he wanted to do everything he could if it meant that it was going to help Yuta's heart feel at ease.

"Y-Yong.." Yuta mumbled and then rested his head against Taeyong's leg.

"Yes, Yuta?" Every time the Japanese would open this mouth these days usually led to him having an anxiety attack due to his almost impossible to understand speech at this point.

That's why Taeyong would always feel his body tense up whenever Yuta would try to talk with him. He didn't want to see him go through this anymore.

"Yong.. prom.. promises.." the Japanese would often be mid crisis during his sentences and that was why Taeyong would always tell him to not rush and to not worry when he is talking to him but it didn't seem like his words would help him every time.

"I promise what, Yuta?" Taeyong looked down as he gently ruffled the Japanese's hair which had gotten pretty long by now and it was always covering his eyes.

".. mm.. promises t-to never leave me?" Taeyong felt his heart shatter as soon as he heard those words, the pain already consuming his entire heart and making him lose all his words.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how he was supposed to reply to Yuta.

He was scared.. scared to make any promises.

"Please.." Yuta brought his twitching hand closer and held Taeyong's, making the elder feel even worse because he could feel how weak Yuta has gotten and how he could no longer live and function on his own at all.

Even the simplest tasks were impossible now, the easiest things to do were undoable for him.

"I promise.. I promise that I will stay.." Taeyong knew that this wasn't a good idea but he had to promise because he felt like if he had kept quiet, Yuta would've been in more pain.

Though.. this couldn't compare to what had happened just two days later.

~~~

"Mr. Lee, would you come with me for a check up? I need to check on your arm condition."

Taeyong wasn't expecting for his doctor to show up so early in the morning but he agreed to come with him, not really knowing what he was going to say but being curious about his condition.

Yuta had awaken as soon as the doctor had entered the room and had heard their entire conversation. He watched as the two of them left the room, wondering if Taeyong was going to be okay.

The Japanese would always tell him that everything was going to be okay and that he would recover soon, Taeyong not really paying attention to that because he was way more concerned about Yuta than his own situation.

After about 30 minutes, Taeyong and the doctor had returned. The man in white held some sort of documents in his hands, probably the results of Taeyong's check up, and was reading through them very carefully.

The Korean didn't know what he was going to hear so he had just sat down on his bed and was waiting to hear his doctor.

"Hmmm.. yes. Very good. Well, Mr. Lee, I seem to have good news for you. It appears that all the fractured bones have healed and have successfully returned to their proper places. We can take your cast off later today and you are free to leave tomorrow!"

Yuta was once again listening to the entire conversation and when he heard the doctor's last sentence he felt like someone had shot him directly in his heart.

Taeyong gasped when the doctor had told him that he could leave, his eyes immediately moving to Yuta who looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack.

"But.. but doctor.. are you sure? I.. I still feel some pain and-and-" Taeyong wasn't even able to finish his sentence before the doctor had cut him off "We will prescribe you some medications you will need in order to stop feeling pain. But those are things you can manage on your own at home now that you've recovered nearly 90%. Now if you excuse me, I will go arrange an appointment for your cast to be taken off later."

With that, the doctor left the room, not even realising what he had caused just by bringing these "good news" to Taeyong.

The Korean immediately made his way to Yuta's bed, seeing that the Japanese was not looking well at all right now.

His face had gotten so pale and his hands were shaking even worse than usual. His lips now quivering, tears already forming in those big brown eyes.

"Yuta, I.. I didn't.. I didn't know that he would show up t-today.. I.." Taeyong was panicking so badly, trying to find the right words to say but it seemed like a lost cause at this point.

What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say?

"You.. promised me.." was all Yuta was able to utter before the tears had started falling down his face and wetting his hospital robe.

He felt like his heart was about to burst into a million pieces, the pain he was feeling being almost tenfold to the one he felt back when he received the news about what exactly was wrong with him.

The only thing he had in his life that was making him happy while he was in this hellhole was now about to leave forever. What was he supposed to do exactly?

First it was soccer and now it was Taeyong.

Maybe it really wasn't meant to be.. it wasn't meant to be for Yuta to feel happy in this life. Not right now..

"Yuta, I.. I am so sorry. I really am.. I don't want to leave.. I mean, I want to leave but I don't want to leave you.. I didn't want this to-to end like this.."

Taeyong hid his face with his hand as he started whimpering and panting which soon turned into tears, the tears that had wanted to come out for far too long now were finally able to today.

He was aware that he had to leave at some point but he didn't actually expect the day to ever come.

It seemed so far away but time kept passing and his arm kept healing more and more.. but the wound in his heart never did.

"I.. I don't want to leave you. I am not going to.." Taeyong genuinely felt like he was having a panic attack but he couldn't care less about himself right now.

He couldn't leave Yuta, not after everything they've gone through together. This was the only person in his entire life that was able to make him feel like this, the only person he's looked after with so much care.

All those kids back in the kindergarten, none of them could compare with the fondness he felt for Yuta ever since the first day he had arrived here.

Taeyong was ready to voluntarily shatter all the bones in his body if it meant that he was going to spend more time with him.

He didn't want to leave, not right now.. never.

"But.. but.. Yong has to l-leave and-and go back to his old l-life.. he shouldn't h-hurt anymore.."

Yuta's words would barely be intelligible to most people but Taeyong could understand all of them, now actually wishing that he couldn't because he didn't want to hear this.

"But.. I made a promise to you.. I promised that I was going to stay here with you. How.. how am I supposed to leave now?"

"It's okay.. hospital is for-for people that are broken.. Yong isn't b-broken anymore so he needs t-to go back.."

"No.. I don't want to. I don't want to go.." Taeyong was genuinely on the verge of passing out at this point, the tears just kept on falling and falling, his breathing now feeling so heavy, making it kind of impossible for him to keep on talking.

Yuta finally looked at him and smiled weakly, his eyes watery and sparkly but filled with so much sorrow.

It really felt like he was prepared to say goodbye, even if his heart would never be.

"No.. I refuse.. I.. I refuse to leave you.. no.." Taeyong kept repeating as he made his way to Yuta's bed and sat down, making him sit up and bringing him into a very tight hug.

Yuta wasn't really able to hug back because his entire body felt extremely overstimulated and all his muscles had basically shut off.

"I.. I don't want to go.. I don't want to. I want to be with you. I.." Taeyong struggled to finish that sentence, letting go of Yuta and moving back a bit so he could look at him.

The pain he felt in his heart was insufferable. He couldn't let things end like that. He just couldn't.

After everything they had gone through together, after all those sleepless nights he had spent just so he could watch over Yuta and make sure he was okay..

"I am not going to leave you alone.. I made a promise.. a promise I want to keep. And a promise that I will keep. I don't care if you are broken.. I don't care if the doctors say that you will never get better. You aren't broken in my eyes. You never were.. I am the one that is going to be broken.. without you.."

Yuta didn't really understand what Taeyong was trying to say to him but he was trying to keep it together and not lose it completely, not wanting his roommate to see him break even in their last moment together.

"I.. I will understand if-if Yong will have to leave m-me.. he deserves to be h-happy. Please go and b-be happy.. for-for me.."

"NO!" Taeyong couldn't handle this anymore so he just brought Yuta closer and closer until he planted a soft kiss on his forehead, his hands carefully holding his shoulders and never wanting to let go.

Yuta felt new tears forming in his eyes the second Taeyong's lips made contact with his forehead.

He didn't want to move away, nor was he able to because his body was still not functioning properly.

When Taeyong's lips had moved back, ending the little kiss, his hand made its way to Yuta's hair and moved it out of his eyes so he could look at him better.

Maybe that was what was special about Yuta? He was Taeyong's happiness and if he was to leave this place, that meant that he was going to lose the one that made him so happy forever.

And was that why Taeyong brought such joy to Yuta's painful and terrible life too? Because he was the only one that was able to make him smile. The one thing that was able to make him smile for the very first time after he had become a patient at this horrible place.

Yuta did not want to lose him.. not him too. He already lost his passion and the thing that brought happiness to his life before he had met Taeyong.

He didn't want to lose him too. But he also felt like he was a burden to him and that's how he had been feeling ever since they first met.

Yuta felt like he was just a nuisance to every single person around him, being annoying to everyone because of his endless issues and struggles. No one wanted to take care of him anymore, at least that was how the Japanese felt.

Though, Taeyong was different. The first time he had been brought to this room, the first eye contact he had exchanged with Yuta had helped him realise that this boy was special and was special for a reason.

"Yuta.. I am not leaving.. not without you."

Yuta's eyes widened as he made eye contact with Taeyong once more, again not really being able to understand what he was saying because he was feeling extremely emotional and overwhelmed right now.

"W-what?" He stuttered before Taeyong brought him into yet another hug, this one feeling even more desperate than the previous one.

"I.. I want to go back home.. with-with you. I don't want to leave you stay here in this hell anymore.. I want you to be happy.. and I want to take care of you.."

"I.. but-" Yuta's breathing had gotten heavy once again, his sad excuse of hands making their way to Taeyong's and holding them with the little strength he had left.

"No buts.. I have decided. You are coming home with me where I will be able to t-take care of you and do anything you w-want and n-need in order to keep you happy and healthy."

Yuta couldn't find a way to respond with words so he just started sobbing as his head fell forwards and rested against Taeyong's chest.

The Korean held him in his warm embrace, never wanting to let go of him because he was so afraid of losing him. He didn't care about anything else right now.

All he cared about was his roommate who he had developed feelings for during these nearly two months he had spent with him.

Taeyong had never had feelings for someone before, let alone developing them this fast. He had never experienced anything like this before he had met Yuta.

"But.. how.. how is Yong going to take care of-of someone like me? I am a burden.. and-and Yong deserves to live happily.. not-not with someone like me.."

"What are you saying? There is no one else who has the ability to make me happy the way that you d-do.. I've never felt happier before the day I m-met you."

Taeyong looked around the room and then at Yuta, now finally realising why the Japanese seemed so hesitant.

"You are afraid that you are going to be annoying to take care of..? You are afraid that I wouldn't want to spend the days looking after you and that I would just be annoyed? Is that why.."

"...Yong already has a happy l-life and-and a good job.. he doesn't need me to interfere.."

"No.. you are wrong. I don't have a happy life at all.. yes, I do have a career but that doesn't really make me happy. And if it does, it's just momentary happiness which doesn't matter in-in the long run.. I need someone that can be by my side, always. And I need someone I can spend my days with happily.. I need you. Please come with me.."

Taeyong was starting to feel afraid that Yuta was going to decline his offer since he seemed like he really didn't think that he was going to bring him any happiness and was just going to feel like one more chore to him.

"I will take care of you at home.. I will do anything. I promise you. Everything will be okay and you will no longer feel sad. Please, Yuta.. I promised you that I would never leave you, didn't I? Now you need to make a promise too.."

Taeyong rubbed Yuta's hand softly with his thumb, desperately expecting an answer out of the younger, the answer which was going to decide how both of them were going to live their lives from now on.

After some minutes of silence, Yuta finally looked up at Taeyong, once again seeing how important this truly was for him.

"Okay.. I will c-come with Yong.. if he promises that h-he will never be mad at me.."

"Why would I ever be mad at you, angel?" Taeyong didn't even realise that the little pet name had slipped from his mouth. He was just so worried for Yuta and was ready to do anything if it meant that he would come with him.

"I don't want Yong t-to be mad at me if-if I forget things and-and if I can't always talk with-with him.. and I don't want Yong to be mad if-if I break even more.."

"I would never be mad at you, not in a million years. You will never be broken in my eyes, never. Remember what I told you? You are perfect, just the way that you are. And no matter what happens, I will always love you.."

"You will.. w-what?" Yuta wasn't sure if he had heard that right or if his already struggling brain was making up things again.

"I will always love you.. broken or not, you are my happiness.. and taking care of you is my privilege."

After all of this, Yuta just couldn't figure out how he was supposed to reply so he just looked to the side, all these feelings making it even more difficult for him to understand what was going on.

All that he knew though was that he had finally found him. He had finally found the person who brought him even more happiness than soccer has ever done during all those years.

The one person that truly cares for him and was ready to go out of his way just so he could take care of him, even if his condition was the absolute worst it's ever been since they've met.

He had finally found him.

~~~

Just like that, the two of them had been discharged from the hospital the next day, after a very long time of Taeyong pleading to all the doctors to let Yuta leave as well.

It definitely wasn't easy.

Due to Yuta's poor condition, Taeyong had to agree on the therapists coming to their home in the future to help him with his depression and also on taking him to the hospital if he ever showed really concerning symptoms.

The Japanese had spent so much time in the hospital because there was no one else to take care of him and because he genuinely had no one he could rely on.

The boy was really unstable but all the doctors ever did was give him medications, have him go through some medical tests and take care of his mental struggles.

If he had a caregiver, then he could've spent all this time at home with them and only occasionally visiting the hospital but he never had anyone.

Not until he had met Taeyong who had turned out to be even more helpful than all of the doctors and nurses in the hospital combined.

Yuta was finally able to leave after so long. He was finally able to feel the sun shining against his face and the soft breeze playing with his long brown locks.

And he had Taeyong now who would be helping him with everything. He was finally able to live normally again.

At least, that's how Yuta saw things. Unfortunately, none of his health problems seemed to have subsided.

He was disabled and was probably going to be stuck in a wheelchair until the rest of his life, his muscles were all completely numb almost all of the time, his speech never seemed to get better and his dementia had started getting worse too.

But he was no longer desperate and was no longer feeling like there was no hope for him. He had found the person he loved more than anything else, the person who was able to make him forget about all those struggles and the person who would do absolutely anything for him, even if it meant that he had to be in pain instead of him.

The moment Taeyong had taken Yuta to his home, the Japanese's heart had finally found peace after so long. He could finally feel at ease.

Soon after they had started living together, the Korean had asked the younger to be his boyfriend, to which Yuta had responded with tears at first but then he had agreed, probably making this the happiest moment for both of them.

Taeyong had left his work as a kindergarten teacher and had started working from home because he wanted to spend every single moment with Yuta, not wanting to ever leave his side, fearing that something was going to happen to the one that was most precious to him if he was to ever leave even for a moment.

The Korean loved him more than anything else and wanted him to know that he was truly the most important person in his life and that he could never be a burden to him.

Taeyong would take Yuta out for walks with his wheelchair, admiring how happy he would feel every single time they would go outside, never wanting that huge smile on his face to disappear.

He would help him with eating, speaking and everything Yuta had difficulties with. He would hold him close when they would sleep, never wanting to let go of him, wanting to show him that he was safe in his arms.

He would do his absolute best to keep him happy like this, wishing that he would be able to spend as much time as he could with him, no matter if it was difficult or not.

He was his sunshine and the only one that mattered to him this much. Taeyong could already see spending the rest of his life with Yuta, and maybe his next life too.

Ever since they had met, both of them had felt this connection with each other, a connection that was stronger than anything else.

It was love from first sight. And it took them some time to realise their feelings properly but when they finally did, everything seemed to have fallen into place.

"I love you s-so much Yong. G-goodnight."

"I love you too, my angel. Now please sleep tight. Goodnight, my love."

The End

———————
10553 words

Once again I apologise for taking so long to upload a new oneshot. I had to scrap my previous idea because it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to so I started writing this one and it took me quite a long time to finish it since it ended up being very long and sad once again. Nevertheless, I hope You guys liked it even if it felt a bit heavy </3

Please let me know if  You have any requests for me to do in the future!!