will

i walk into hopper's bedroom and shut the door behind me, not wanting to talk to anyone. i'm so stupid, i always get my hopes up when el and mike break up but for what reason? for them to get back together a day later? not this time, i'll leave them alone to talk and i'll let mike realise he still loves her, like he always has.

i go and sit down on hoppers bed, i put my head in my hands, what's the point? i like mike, sure but nothing will ever happen between us, he isn't like me.

i stand up and start cleaning, i can hear the faint noise of el and mike talking, i can't hear what they're saying but they're probably getting back together.

about ten minutes pass and i hear a knock at the door, "will? are you okay in there? can i come in?" i hear mike's voice.

"yes, i'm okay, come in if you want." i don't turn around but i hear him open the door and close it behind him. he walks in and stops a few feet behind me.

"so, are you almost done in here?" he says, i turn around, he starts to walk closer until he's stood a few inches in front of me. i look up at him, into his eyes.

"uh, not really there's still a lot to-" he cuts me off.

"why don't you take a break?" he sits down on the bed, "come, sit down by me," i sit by him, feeling a little uncomfortable. he puts his hand on my hand and i pull it away.

"what are you-"

"what's wrong? isn't this what you wanted?" mike looks at me.

"what? no i-" i trail off, terrified, was he making fun of me?

"oh come on. do you think i'm stupid? the way you look at me, the way you look at me when i'm with el, my girlfriend, who i love, the way you cried in the van after you confessed your pathetic love for me? i thought you wanted this. or do you not love me?" his eyes are getting darker, what the hell is going on.

"mike, i- i'm sorry i don't want this, well i do but," i pause, "but not like this. do you even feel the same?" i don't really want an answer, i know what it's going to be.

"do i like you? of course i don't." i knew it. "how could i? i'm not a mistake like you are, i'm not some kind of queer, i'm normal, not like you. how could anyone ever love you? you're an unlovable mess, still caught up over his childhood love, you're weak. you make me sick, byers." what the fuck is wrong with mike, this isn't him, he wouldn't say this, would he? he looks down at my wrist, "you still wear this? what, you think i still wear mine?" i look at my watch, mike gave it to me for my 8th birthday, he told me it matched his and they were like friendship bracelets. i realise how pathetic i am, still wearing a watch i've had for seven years, just because my best friend who i've loved since forever gave it to me. i take it off and hold it in my hand.

"mike, wha- what are you talking about?" i can feel my eyes watering, i can't cry in front of him, not after what he just said to me, i'm not weak. i look at the floor.

"are you crying? you pathetic excuse for a man." i hear him say, it's like my dad all over again, but something's off, his voice is much deeper, that doesn't sound like mike. i look up and it's not mike, it's not mike at all. it's vecna.

i open my mouth, wanting to say something but i can't, no words leave my mouth. "what's the matter, will?" he reaches out to grasp my face and i move before he can, i run to the corner of the room. he slowly follows me.

"will, don't run away from me, you know you want to join me." he says. my watch is still in my hand, i let got of it and leave it on the floor.

i stare at vecna but he doesn't go away, he's moving closer to me, "leave me alone." i say, he doesn't "leave me alone!" i say again raising my voice, just a little, not wanting el or mike to hear me. he still doesn't. i shut my eyes tightly and hug my knees. i stay there for a while. when i open my eyes, he's finally gone.

i stand up, shaking and trip over hoppers old nightstand, it makes a loud crash as it smashes on the floor. i feel a cold sweat on my forehead, what just happened. i can hardly breathe, i slowly open the door and see mike, he's talking to me but i can't process anything he's saying, i don't know if i can be around him right now, not after what just happened, i know it wasn't mike but it's most likely how he actually feels about me.

i quickly make up an excuse to leave and run out the door, mike tries to follow me but i tell him to stay, i can't be near him.

i start to run, having no specific destination in mind. i find myself running to my old house, i miss this house. i never wanted to move, i wish we could have stayed here. there's new people in the house, i can see cars in the driveway and the lights are on. i run past it and into the forest behind. i run to the one place i used to feel comfortable in. castle byers. or at least, what's left of it.

i remember the day i destroyed it, clearly. it was after the argument mike and i had, i biked away. i went to castle byers and ripped apart photos of the party, specifically between mike and me, i ripped down pictures i had drawn and i grabbed a bat and destroyed it. 

i look at it, it's almost just like how i left it. it's still broken on the outside, i go in and the ripped up
pictures and drawings are...gone? who took them? when did they take them? i start looking around to see if i can find who took everything. after looking for a while, i see something i haven't seen before, on the inside, near the entrance.

it's initials, mine and someone else's, i don't know who's, it's been carved over, like whoever's it was, they tried to erase it.

# + w

i didn't do this which means someone else did, but who? the only people who know about castle byers is mom, jonathan and the party. was it someone from the party? no, maybe i did do it, i just forgot. yes, that must be what happened.

i sit on the matress, i cant believe that almost everything is still here but a few stupid pictures and drawings, who would come this far to take a few ripped up photos and drawings? i look around and move a few things so i can see if anything else is missing.

after sitting for a while, i know i should probably get back to mike before he starts worrying more.

i get up and leave, i walk slowly, i want to see mike but after what happened i don't want him to ask many questions, i don't want to tell him, he'll worry about me. but on the other hand, i have to tell him, how could i not? if i die he would never forgive himself. as i'm walking i plan out what i'm going to say to mike and possibly el when i see them.

i'm just going to tell them, it will be fine, i'll be straight up with them. it will be fine.

i get to the cabin and el is back, she's sat on the couch. mike is stood up, pacing. what's wrong with him. el looks at me and she has a worried look, but not worried like worried about me, more like worried for me. mike stops pacing and looks at me.

"i am going to go into my bedroom, i'll talk to you later," el says and quickly leaves.

"what's wrong with her?" i say, jokingly. i get no reply. mike is still stood staring at me, "mike? what's wrong."

"why did you lie to me, will?" my heart drops, what lie is he talking about.

"mike...what are you talking about? i didn't lie to you, i would never lie to you. you know that."

"the painting, will."

"oh."

"yeah, oh."

a/n: cant wait for mike to bring up the painting in s5 and el have no idea what he's talking about 🤭