"She snuck in here right under our noses!" I hollered, trying to rise to my feet once more, but Beckett kept me where I was sitting. "She's not just a shifter in cats, she can shift into people too! She tricked us! She–" my chest heaved.

"I know, love. Sit still," I didn't want to sit still, I wanted to go find her and make her pay. But Lendon was healing my neck, which apparently I couldn't heal on my own, and Beckett's own strained voice kept me put.

"Go over it again," Theodore told me, his arms crossed across his chest. We were in an infirmary of some kind, everyone had gathered once they were called to an emergency meeting.

It was Phoebe who spoke. "Ember...Nova tied me up and tried to kill us."

"How did she sneak in here?" Juniper asked, her voice tight with the stress we were all feeling.

"She didn't sneak in here," I said, my voice hard. "I brought her in here, she tricked me." Which means Ember was still captured. Which means I had failed.

"How did you find her, again?" Jaxon asked, his light eyes wide. I looked at everyone around me, realizing how much I had screwed up. How easily I was tricked.

"I tracked her with a necklace that I found in her room-"

"It was Nova's necklace, though." Beckett finished, hearing in my tone how drained I was. It was all in front of me, every little thing that pointed to the deceit. The big, bold, brash truth; I had been so easily tricked despite every factor that should have warned me.

"Ember is still trapped in that place, with those SkinWalkers–" my voice caught and tears burned in my eyes. Beckett pressed a hand against my cheek, his skin like ice against my flame. I met his eyes, they were silver rimmed as well but he was forcing a calm demeanor for me, because of how much he loves me.

"We're going to get her, Astra. She's strong, I'm sure she's ok." I try to speak, but words evade me–so I just nod. He presses a longing kiss to my forehead, before turning and clamping a hand on Arden's shoulder.

"Tell me what you need from me," Arden told Beckett, his face fierce.

"The plan doesn't change. We each go to the court's we were supposed to, we prepare to fight." We all looked at Beckett, he swallowed his pain. My love was a dark force to reckon with, standing tall in the brightly lit room, his shadowed features stark in contrast.

"We could go get her first, Beck." Theo offered, his mossy eyes darkened with sorrow. That was the blanket feeling in the room, sorrow. We had spent days with Nova, let her see our plans, let her see my new powers, how we would attempt to fight her–

"She knows our plans already, if we try to catch her by surprise she may kill Ember."

"But if we go there still, when she knows our plan, it could be a bloodbath." Jaxon pointed out, bringing the weight of it onto my shoulders. Nova knew our plan, and had Ember at her disposal.

"What do we do?" Juniper asked, clutching the leather strap to her quiver. The big question, the one that none of them seemed to really know how to answer.

"I will look for her again, see if she's ok. If she is, then we continue as planned. If she isn't," my voice caught at the idea of her being gone. "Then we proceed with a rescue mission instead." I got some nods in agreement, it seemed like the best option. Everyone around me looked as strained as I felt, as exhausted. If we made it through this, all in one piece, I would never again take a party or dance for granted.

"What if you can't find her? What then? What if you just find Nova again?" Jaxon asked, it was the obvious question but by this point I felt so exasperated that I didn't even want to respond. Lendon was still working on my neck, sealing the neck wound was proving difficult, and I just wanted to get a move on. For reasons I couldn't explain, it deeply frustrated me that I can't heal myself. I can heal others and wield the literal sun but I can heal my neck wound?

"When I tried it the first time I relied solely on the necklace to help me find her, and her mind felt sad–it was sorrowful. That's not Ember at all and I should have known that. I'll be better this time." I hoped that this wouldn't be an empty promise. I would be better.

"You're all set," Lendon said after what felt like a million years. My neck healed, I jumped from my seat, I needed space and quiet to find her.

And– "Phoebe, you're with me." Her eyes met mine, they weren't afraid, or watering, they were hard. She had met her breaking point, her mouth set in a tight line. Silently she followed me from the room, leaving everyone to discuss further their plans of attack.

Phoebe had blood on her pale pink gown, my blood, I realized. She had tied her hair back, revealing blue scales that etched into her neck and down her spine. "We're gonna make Nova pay for this." Phoebe told me, her voice cool. I'd never heard this tone from her, and for a moment I found myself blinking.

"We will."

****

We ended up in my bedroom, kneeling on the floor across from each other. I gripped her blue hands tightly as I waited for her to mentally prepare for what I was about to do. Her light brown eyes scanned our hands, her thumb resting on my engagement ring.

"Ember doesn't know he proposed." Phoebe mused, meeting my gaze with a sparkle in her eyes. The corner of her mouth lifted for a brief second, "she will be so sad to know she missed it." I inhaled sharply, I hadn't even thought of that. "Will you tell her, when you find her? I'm sure it will lift her spirits. And tell her I love her."

My heart seized, but I forced a tight lipped smile and stared at her intently, before gently stepping into her mind. 'Think of her', I whispered to her kindly. 'Let me use you as a conduit. Think of how she looks, how she smells, how she talks.'

Images of Ember were forced into my mind, of her braiding her hair in a mirror, of her winking at myself as we talked across the room, of her slapping Beckett's arm. Hundreds of flashes, all of the memories she had, of her watching Ember. I could feel the admiration in the memories, the love sang from the images. Phoebe was always watching, loving just watching her feel love. I reached for the dark haired girl who's joyous laugh filled the memories, stretching my mind in desperation to feel her soul once more.

I felt the snap as I fell through Phoebe's mind, tumbling into a different place. A gasp broke through my lips as I found my being in a room. It was a small room, with four light pink walls, and one large window at one side of the room. Stark against the pink walls, the white couches and rug, was the gleaming silver of the swords that were mounted on the walls. This room smelled of a warm sea breeze, it came through the window that was slightly ajar. On the side of the couch was a small table, it had a picture frame–a picture of Phoebe and Ember together by the Somnium Lake.

Phoebe was laughing in the picture, and Ember was kissing her dramatically on the cheek. They were happy. It was a happy place made up of the two, the drastic opposites, the mermaid and the Defender.

By the window she appeared, she was wearing comfortable clothes, and she wasn't strapped to the teeth in weapons. She felt...safe. This was her safe space. Everything pressed onto my soul, the pain of losing her, the relief in seeing her, the unease of knowing I had fallen for Nova's lies. My mind scrambled with everything left unsaid, with everything I could say...yet nothing came out.

Another breeze came through the window, it ruffled her long undone hair, and I watched her breath in the smell of the sea deeply. We didn't have much time, she was still a captive–

"I thought you hated pink." An unimportant first statement, just a reminder of our first day in the Somnium Realm. Ember whirled around, eyes the size of saucers, and broke out into a wide grin when she saw me.

"About time–" she breathed, taking across the room and taking me into her arms. Home. Hugging Ember felt like home. The relief that swept through my whole body was enough to make my knees tremble, made tears stream down my cheeks, and a laugh break through my trembling lips.

"It took me a while, I'm sorry." Her body was warm, it gripped me tight, as though neither of us wanted to be the first one to let go. "She tricked me."

Ember did finally pull away then, her eyes hardened at that fact. "I know. She pretended to be you, pretended to rescue me time and time again. It was to break me down, make me give up hope...but I knew you'd come. The real you. I waited for you, never wondering if you would; I just knew you would." Another snap of pain through me, it had taken me so long to find her though.

"Ember, do you know why she's doing this? Has she told you?" We didn't have much time, but I needed to know if my theory was right.

"Pain. Nova isn't like Parallax or King Erran, hurting people for her own gain. It's purely out of revenge, out of anger. She's mad at us, Astra, for finding happiness. She's mad because she loved Beck, then you ended up with him–she loved River and Alatar and lost them both in a war over you. Nova blames all her pain on you, and is hurting the people you love as revenge."

I'd been afraid of that. That this was all because of me...again. I inhaled sharply, looking around the pink room. "Phoebe wanted me to tell you that she loves you," my voice shook slightly from the weight of reality.

Ember smiled softly, indicating to her safe space. "Well you can see the impact she has on me." We laughed, the sound filled me with hope. "What is that!" Ember squealed, and I jumped–searching for the threat, but her hand grabbed mine and pulled it to her. "Is that an engagement ring?" Oh, that.

My cheeks set ablaze, sheepish that I had gotten engaged while she was held captive. "Beckett proposed," I admitted. Ember wasn't upset though, her face was ecstatic when she squealed again and pulled me into another embrace.

"We're going to be sisters!" No, 'if we make it out of this', or, 'if you find me,'. Because Ember was so sure I would, unyielding in her sureness of me. So I enjoyed the hug, enjoyed our moment together, and tried to pretend I wasn't completely guilt ridden.

"Where does she keep you, Ember? We don't have much time, and when we storm Nova's court I need to make sure I find you." Ember's face grew solemn, and I wished for the joy to come back.

"Chained to some wall, in a cave. The Court isn't just one volcano...it's kind of like Celeste's court. It's just a tree right? No, wrong. There's the volcano, but each tunnel leads to another mountain or another valley or another volcano. And she moves me, she moves me after each time she pretends to save me–it's like she's trying to find the hardest way for the real you to save me."

I clung to each word, realizing how easy the first rescue really had been. I'd been where Ember was trapped, maybe she was screaming for me, maybe she was so deep in the tunnels that she had no way of knowing we were even there.

"I'm going to get you, Ember. Just hold on a while longer." My voice sounded confident, even though fear and the weight of the truth was crushing me. Ember smiled at me, her eyes sparkling. There, there was the girl who saved me. How had I been so foolish to believe she hated me? That she blamed me?

"I'm not going anywhere," she swore to me, clinging to my hand so tightly that even as I entered my own mind once more; I could still feel her there.