Chapter 37

When Saturday came around, we each packed a bag with a few things that we would need for the lake. I packed an extra change of clothes, just in case I would need them, and my phone and charger. Lydia was packing the food.

I walked out of my room and met Wesley in the hall. "Hey, Ellie, I was looking for you," he said.

"Well, here I am," I said looking at him. "What's up?"

"Uh, so you know how you said I could come talk to you if I needed some help," he said. I nodded slowly. "I want to tell everyone today at the lake, but I don't know how."

"Aw, Wesley," I said jumping. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Yay, I'm so happy. Everything will be perfectly fine," I said reassuringly.

He nodded while laughing. "Yeah, but I don't know how I should tell them or when," he said.

"Do you know what you want to say?" I asked.

"Kind of, I know what I want to tell them I just want to make sure I get it all right," he said nervously.

"Wesley, it'll be perfectly fine. I can help if you want," I suggested. "I can get them all together and tell them that their is something you want to tell them, or talk about or something like that."

He nodded slowly. "Would you really?"

"Of course Wesley, I'd do anything to help you tell them. I think it's great that you want to let them know who you really are," I said.

He smiled. "Thanks." We walked downstairs with our bags and met the rest of the boys in the hall by the door. They were getting ready to leave.

"Ellie, do you have everything you want?" Lydia asked. I nodded. "Okay the older kids can go with Chase and Keaton, Logan, Oliver, and William can ride with me and Jeff.

"I'm an older kid," Keaton whined.

Lydia nodded her head. "Yes, you are, but it will be too crowded in the car if there are three in the back," Lydia said.

"Sorry bud," Ethan said and ruffled Keaton's hair. Keaton swatted at his hand and fixed his hair. I giggled at them as I followed the guys out to the car. Drew had left the same day Kristen and Bella did. He knew it was a rough time for Chase and he wanted to be there, but he had to go back to school.

I got in the back seat with Wesley and Chase and Ethan got the front. Ethan offered to drive, but Chase said he wanted to. It was probably a way to distract himself.

It was a pretty long drive. Four hours. On the way there, the guys talked about Brandy. Wesley whispered to me, "They always do this when we come to the lake," when they started telling stories.

"Brandy and I used to ride in the back seat together when we went before the younger guys were born," Chase said.

"I remember you would never let me or Drew sit next to her," Ethan chimed in. "If three people had to sit in the back you always sat in the middle so you were the only one who got to sit next to her."

I saw Chase smile in the rearview mirror. It was different than his usual smile. He looked happy, but you could also see the pained expression on his face. "What was Brandy like?" I asked.

Ethan looked at Chase who just had a smile on his face. "She was," Ethan started.

"Amazing," Chase finished.

Ethan nodded. "She was pretty amazing. She was always happy. She was always trying to make people laugh and she was just so silly and fun all the time. I had never met anyone like her before," Ethan said.

"She was special. She was," Chase paused and his nose scrunched up as he thought then he laughed a little. "She was weird, but in a good way." Ethan laughed. "She was the sweetest person I had ever met." Then Chase got quiet and his expression changed. He wasn't smiling. "She didn't deserve what Jared did to her."

Ethan wasn't laughing anymore. He was looking at Chase and he had a worried expression on his face. You could hear Chase's breathing pick up. "Chase, don't think about that. Think about how great Brandy was."

Chase tried to stop breathing so heavily. He closed his eyes for a second and then pulled onto the side of the road. He parked the car and rested his head on the steering wheel. It was silent. I looked over at Wesley who was looking at Ethan who was looking at Chase.

After about three silent minutes, Chase lifted his head and put the car into drive. He pulled back onto the road and started driving again. It was quiet the rest of the ride. It was probably better that we didn't talk about her anymore. Not until we got there.

When the car pulled onto the dirt road with a small sign on the corner that read Camp Takota, it was a bit bumpy. There were twists and turns until we saw the Johnson van in front of us. When we pulled up William instantly ran to the car. Chase got out and put his backpack on one shoulder and picked his brother up in his arms. He carried him into the cabin that they had and I followed the other guys in.

It was pretty big, considering it was only a cabin. Everyone piled their bags on one wall and the guys ran outside to play games. Chase stood with his mom and he was talking to her. "I'm gonna go down to the lake," he said.

"Okay, but dinner is going to be at 5:30," she said. "Bring your phone." As Chase was about to leave the cabin, Lydia looked up at me and stopped him. "Chase," she said. He stopped and looked at her. She motioned for him to come towards her. I could hear her say, "You should bring Ellie."

Chase glanced at me, then looked back at his mom. "I just want to be alone right now," he said.

"All of the guys have gone down there. You should bring her and show her around," Lydia pushed.

"Lydia, I don't have to go," I said not wanting Chase to feel uncomfortable.

"No, go," she said.

"Mom," Chase whined.

Lydia shot him a glare and pointed at the door. "Go," she ordered.

Chase looked at me then motioned for me to follow him. We walked down a path and then took a smaller trail down towards the water. "Brandy and I used to come down here together all the time," he said.

"I don't have to go if you don't want," I said stopping.

He shook his head. "No it's fine. Sorry about that back there, it's just after that car ride, I just wanted to clear my head." I nodded. "But it's fine. Let's go," he said waving me down the path.

I followed him and it became steep. There were tree roots coming up out of the ground and logs in the path. I followed Chase down the hill and as I was nearing the bottom, I tripped on a root and went tumbling into him. I knocked him to the ground and we both rolled down the hill.

He sat up from the ground and reached his hand to his head. "I'm so sorry," I said.

He shook it off and laughed as he got up. "It's fine. Brandy would trip on that same root every time we came down here. I probably should have said something about it."

He reached his hands out to me and I placed mine in his. He pulled me up from the ground. "Thank you," I said and he nodded as he scratched the back of his neck.

He started walking towards a big rock. He sat down on one side of it and I sat next to him, but not too close. I could tell he wanted some space.

We were both quiet for a while. We looked at the sun setting on the lake. It was a bright orange with a yellowish glow around it. It was beautiful. It made me forget about everything. Everything that had ever happened. Anything bad. All the bad things washed away and I just marveled at the gorgeous sunset. You never get two sunsets exactly the same and they only last for a little while. You have to enjoy them.

"Brandy and I would always go swimming in this lake," he said looking out at the water. "She was a terrible swimmer," he said with a laugh. "One time we were racing to that rock, way out there," he said and pointed to a big rock that poked out of the water. "We both jumped in at the same time and as we both came back up I started to pass her. I got about halfway there and I looked back to see where she was." He paused. "When I looked back, she wasn't there. I started to get really worried, but then I heard this screaming. I was looking around trying to find her and guess where she was," he said. I looked at him urging him to continue. "She was on a boat with these strangers that she didn't even know and she was almost to the rock." Chase and I started laughing. "She got on a boat with strangers and beat me to the rock."

He picked up a small rock from the ground and rolled it over his fingers. As he neared the water, he brought his hand back and flicked his wrist which sent the rock sailing across the water.

He turned back around and looked at the rock that I was sitting on. "That's where I had my first kiss," he said pointing at the rock. "Right there, me and Brandy sat there watching the sunset one night," he sat back down. "I had thought I liked her, but I was only twelve so I didn't even know," he said. He held his hands together and fiddled his thumbs. "It was weird and awkward. I looked at her and she looked at me. She made the first move, like she always did. She was brave and fearless. She leaned towards me and I met her halfway. Neither of us knew what we were doing. When we kissed it was just," he paused. I was scared by what he was going to say. "It was weird." He laughed. "Right after we both wiped off our mouths and started laughing. We agreed to never do that again," he said.

A part of me was relieved. "Did you?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "Did you ever kiss again?"

He looked into my eyes and shook his head. "No," he said with a smile.

I smiled back at him. "I first met Brandy when my mom was pregnant with Keaton. I was only four and Brandy was three, but almost four. I don't really remember when we met, but my mom has told me that we were friends instantly. I was playing outside of our cabin and her and her family walked by. My mom told me that she ran over to me and started playing with me, even though they were heading down to the water. Her parents apologized to mine and they tried to get her back down to the water, but she wouldn't leave," he laughed. "She was always stubborn. My mom said she could stay for a little while so she did, then when her parents came back, she wanted to spend the night. Her parents said she couldn't. She came back the next day and spent the whole time with me."

Chase was smiling like I had never seen him smile before. It was a truly happy smile, but I could see his upper lip quivering the slightest bit and his eyes were becoming glossy. A tear slipped down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, not wanting me to see. I rested my hand on his back and he looked at me, still smiling.

It broke my heart seeing him so torn. He looked back out at the water and wiped his eyes. He stood up and cleared his throat. "We should, um, we should get back," he said, his voice cracking a bit.

I nodded. I understood. He didn't want to be here anymore. He just wanted to get back. "Yeah, it's gonna be dark soon."

He nodded and started walking, keeping his head low. I think he was a bit embarrassed. When we got close to the cabin again I stopped him. "Chase," I said. He turned around and looked at me. He nodded. "That was really beautiful," I said. I wasn't sure what I was trying to say, but it felt right. "All the stories you told me about her. It was nice to hear from you."

He smiled and nodded. "Come on," he said draping his arm around my shoulders. "Let's get back."

When everyone was done with dinner Wesley walked up to me and gave me the look, saying that it was time. I nodded and walked into the cabin. I met Lydia and Jeff by the sink in the small kitchen and I tapped them both on the shoulder. "Uh, Lydia, Jeff, can I see you in the living room for a second?"

They both nodded. When they walked in the guys were already sitting down waiting. "Just a second," I said and walked to the other room to get Chase who sat on the couch. "Chase?" His head shot up and he looked at me. "Uh, there's something important that we are all going to talk about. Can you come out for a minute?" I asked. I felt bad since I knew he was hurting.

He nodded and stood up. I walked with him to the living room and all eyes were on us. I knew exactly what they were thinking. I shook my head and I could see them all let out a breath. "Wesley," I said. He was sitting on the couch with his brothers. He nodded and came to the center of the room. "There's something Wesley would like to tell you guys."

I sat down with the guys and just as Wesley was about to speak, Ethan said, "Are you pregnant?" All of the guys started laughing.

"Ethan," I said. "This is serious." I could see Wesley's face turning red.

"Wesley," Lydia said.

"Mom, please just let me talk," he said.

"Wesley, did you get a girl pregnant?" Lydia asked concerned.

Wesley ran his hands through his hair frustrated. "Mom, and everyone else," he paused then blurted out, "I'm gay."

It was silent. I looked around the room. William was sitting on his mothers lap sucking his thumb, half asleep. Logan and Oliver just looked confused. Keaton's eyes were wide. Ethan's jaw dropped. Chase looked at me then back at Wesley.

Lydia was sitting up straight but suddenly she let out a breath. She smiled. Jeff was harder to read though. His face was the same as it always was. His mouth was pulled into a straight line. His eyes looked straight at his son. I was worried. Wesley looked worried too.

Jeff stood up and walked towards Wesley. He stood in front of him and looked at him for a long time. Right in his eyes. You could see Wesley swallow.

Then Jeff wrapped his arms around his son and pulled him into a hug. I let out a breath of my own and relaxed. Wesley hugged him back. When they let go Jeff was smiling at his son and nodded happily. He was a man of few words.

Lydia picked William up and gave him to Jeff who stood back a bit. Lydia jumped towards Wesley and hugged him as well. "I'm glad no girl is pregnant," she said with a laugh.

The room erupted with joy. All the guys took turns going up to their brother and giving him a big hug. Logan and Oliver just stood there looking confused.

"What does gay mean?"I heard Oliver whisper to Logan.

"You know how Chase and Ethan and Keaton like girls?" Logan said. Oliver nodded. "Well Wesley likes boys. That's what gay means." Oliver nodded still looking a little confused. "But it's okay. He's still our brother no matter what." They both ran over to Wesley together and gave him a big hug.

Wesley never looked happier. He looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you so much." I smiled at him and hugged him as well.

"Don't worry about it Wesley. I'm happy to help," I said.

"Okay, okay," Wesley said. "Enough about me." He looked at Chase. "We have something for you." Wesley ran into the other room and from behind his back he pulled out a little toy boat made of sticks and string. We had bought it before we came and when we got here right before dinner we all decorated it to surprise Chase. "It's for Brandy."

He handed it to Chase and he smiled. There was a flower on the sail and small flower pedals on the floor of the boat. There was lots of glitter. The younger guys added that.

"She will get it in Florida, right Chase?" William asked. I had forgot the younger guys didn't know.

Chase nodded with a smile. "Yeah, William. She will." William squirmed from his dads arms and ran to his brother. Chase picked him up. "Let's go out to the water."

The whole family followed Chase and William out to the water. Chase gave William the boat and he held him by the water. William let it go and the wind carried it off farther into the lake.

Chase stood up and held William's hand watching the boat float away. I felt a hand snake around my waist and I turned and found Wesley by my side. I smiled at him. "I'm proud of you."

He smiled. "I am too."

I tilted my head at him. "So all those times you've been sleeping over at your friends house," I said. "Was it your boyfriends house?" I asked.

Wesley gave me a worried look and nodded slowly. I smiled. "Aw, that's so sweet," I said. "Do his parents know about you two?" He shook his head. "Well then, you can't have anymore sleepovers unless they're with girls."

He smiled at me and I smiled back. This was a beautiful day.