"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

—Richard Bach

The world felt vacant and pointless as Peter Parker stood in front of Ramsey's closed casket, his chocolate eyes had lost their warmth and light. In his breast, where it used to be a beating heart filled with courage and joy hardened by grief, turned into a hollow void. The grief had put out his childish flame that had captivated Ramsey's heart the moment she saw him smile, Peter knew he would never be the same, and he felt somewhat relieved to know that part of him will always belong to her. My light, he had once called her, he regretted not calling her that more often because without her his world is just endless nothingness, it's dark, and it's cold. She was his holy ground, his haven... she was his home.

He barely blinked as he stood there with his shoulders slouched in defeat, by his side Aunt May squeezed his hand in support, and only then did Peter rip his tormented gaze from the empty casket of his girlfriend. Aunt May stared into his bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks, her heart faltered and clenched in pain, she saw the emptiness and suffering in his eyes.

"You okay, honey?" Peter only shook his head and glanced away, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

May stared at him, wishing to alleviate his misery, and if she could, she would do it in a heartbeat.

But... if she did, she would be robbing him of life's greatest and most spiritual gift in existence. The pain that comes from loving someone is not a disease... it's not a weakness, it's a gift, and it's real because it meant you loved them right and wholly. Grief is the price one pays for loving someone, there's no love without pain, and the only cure for grief is to grieve and feel the rawness of the pain at its peak.

It won't always be like this, there will be a day when the sun rises and the pain will just be a distant memory, there will come a time when he thinks of her, and instead of crying, he will smile with joy. His memories of her will no longer seem opaque and gloomy, they will fill his heart with warmth and strength to keep going. There will come a time when he will talk about Ramsey Bianchi again, and all there will be left is love and tenderness for her, she might be gone physically, but she will always live in the depth of his heart and in his mind.

"I will be okay," Peter said softly to his Aunt, "but first... it will take time."

Connor walked up to Ramsey's casket and pressed his palm against the rough surface of the coffin, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, feeling how all the joyful memories he shared with Ramsey flooded his mind, causing a lump to form in his throat. In his mind, he pictured six-year-old Ramsey sleeping on her single bed hugging the old teddy bear he had gifted her, and told her that as long as she had him, no nightmares would visit her at night. Then, he pictured twelve-year-old Ramsey boxing with her instructor at the gym and him cheering for her from the sidelines, the multiple nights he would wake up to her screaming from a nightmare and carrying her to his room, so she could sleep better and feel safe. His heart couldn't handle the pain and sorrow tugging at his heartstrings, unable to contain the grief, Connor let out a sob and quickly covered his mouth, trying to mourn in silence.

But how could he? "I'm so sorry, Ramsey." Connor lamented between sobs, he used the back of his hand to wipe off the snot from his nose. "I'm sorry I failed you, I wasn't there to protect you."

Ivanna hugged Ethan close to her, his face was red, and his eyes were filled with confusion and sorrow as he stared at the casket and then at the hole in which his cousin will be buried forever. Ivanna hadn't told Ethan the whole truth, only Connor knew about it, she didn't feel ready to talk about it with her son, which is why she opted against telling him the whole truth. Ethan believed Ramsey's body was severely burned, and her corpse was retrieved from the souvenir shop, that's why they were having a close casket. His grief unable him to ask further questions or even attempt to open the casket, Ethan remained by his mother's side until they couldn't stand there anymore.

"Let's go, boys," Ivanna whispered to her sons.

Peter watched Ramsey's family leaving. Aunt May had left minutes before them, the rest of the guests which were family members, friends, and the Holy Tacos crew left as well. Elias stood under the shadow of a tree, his eyes darted from both ceremonies taking place at the same time, Stacey's mourn Gwen on one side, and Walker's mourning Ramsey on the other side. The only solace Elias could give himself was the thought that Gwen and Ramsey had reunited in the heavens, their friendship lived even after death.

Elias glanced at Peter's back, they linger there for a short moment before he turns his back and leaves New York City.

Destination, London.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The days passed him by, but the grief remained tied to his heart.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, Peter Parker visited Ramsey's grave every single day, he never missed a day. His hands were stuffed inside his black jean jacket, beanie on his head, he approached Ramsey's gravestone and squatted down. He pressed his hand against the cold stone and stared at it sadly before averting his gaze to the ground, it was stuffed with autumn leaves, quietly he started to clean her grave, tossing the leaves aside until it was tidy.

He dusted his hands and sigh heavily, the wound of his heart was healing slowly, but the pain... was still there. "I miss you," he whispered at the grave, the urge to cry made him bow his head in shame, "so much. This pain... it's all there's left, and I can feel it consume me."

The wind blew softly as tears rolled down his cheeks, making him feel the freshness of the atmosphere, the leaves ruffled from the breeze and the deciduous forest around him swayed beautifully. "Life without you is dull and hard to go by." He continued to speak to her, something he always did. "I feel so scared," his voice broke, "without you next to me. I miss your voice and... and your laugh even though I... I feel like I'm forgetting it."

His heart ached deeply, Peter wiped his tears off his face using the back of his hand, he sniffed and cleared his throat. "I keep thinking back to our last date in Central Park, and how we were simply two regular people... walking and just... having a good time." He smiled sadly, his eyes light up dimly at the memory. "You were beautiful as always. Radiant as the moon."

He remembers the smile on her face, the way her eyes rolled when he made a big deal about her wanting to eat ice cream on such a cold night. He pulled out his chain and took it off, he held the ring between his index finger and thumb. "Then I think of the promises we made."

'... promise to never sacrifice you, our time together, and our love.' Peter had stared at her as if he was seeing the universe for the first time. '... I promise to always be there for you and to keep you safe... I'm also not willing to sacrifice you.'

It pained him to remember her promise because where he failed to keep his, she fulfilled hers. She had saved him. "At least one of us kept their promise." He chuckled softly and glanced at the gravestone, his smile was sad, and his eyes were filled with sorrow. "I just wish it would've been me... instead of you."

His face contorted into a silent cry, a crease forming in between his eyebrows, lips pursed as he tried his best not to cry. The Adam apple bobbed up and down, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. "The worst thing is... that I understand," he let out a shaky breath, blinking rapidly, so he won't spill any more tears, "why you did it. I would've done the same thing for you. You didn't just save us. You saved the whole world too, and what pains me is that... they'll never know what you sacrificed for them. But I do. I'll always remember."

He nodded, nostrils flaring as he continued to fight the tears, and in a quiet voice, he repeated. "Always."

SIX MONTHS LATER

Peter Parker sat on the small dining table in the kitchen, quietly eating his cereal as he listened to the news, but he would often tune the reporter's voice out since he had lost interest in being Spider-Man. Ramsey's death was still fresh to him, even though it's been six months since he lost her. Deep, but really deep down, he knew Ramsey's death wasn't his fault, now Gwen's death... that was entirely on him. Her father warned Peter about the danger circulating his life, he wanted his daughter to be safe and not end up like him.

He wanted Gwen to live.

And Peter, in his own fear of losing a friend and girlfriend, had dishonored his promise. How he wishes to go back in time and sacrifice his relationship with them if it meant that they would still be breathing and living, but he can't go back in time, and he can't change the past.

"The web-slinger's absence has left a hole in the heart of the city." Aunt May was preparing her lunch, quietly humming an unfamiliar tune, the house was quiet except for the noise of the TV. "Believe it or not, even the New York City Police Department has joined the chorus of New Yorkers in hoping for the return of the web-slinger. The entire world seems to be asking the same question: Where is Spider-Man?"

Peter munched on his cereal, staring at the TV screen unfocused as it shows civilians dressed as Spider-Man to show their support. When he saw that Peter couldn't help but turn the TV off, he really didn't need to add guilt to his turmoil of emotions, he just needed time to feel and mourn the loss of a friend and his world. "Oh, too bad about that spider guy."

Aunt May packed her lunch and moved to the kitchen island, she continued to put away a few things that belonged to Uncle Ben inside the storage box. "Too bad he's disappeared." She continued, and Peter felt the sudden urge to just walk out, so they wouldn't have that conversation. "Seems like everybody really needs him."

Peter felt a pang in his chest, he dragged the chair back using the back of his knees, he stood up and took his bowl of cereal, and started to walk out. "Where are you going?"

He managed to cross the kitchen's threshold before stopping, he half turned to his aunt and shrugged. "Eat my cereal."

"Peter..." Aunt May breathed out his name softly, he looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. "Where are you going?"

His mind was blank, these past few months Peter has been doing anything but living presently, every time he went out to run an errand of his or Aunt May's he would always end up in Central Park. He felt drawn to that place, he felt her presence there, in the soft wind, in a child's laugh, in the strangers who started running in the park since she loved to run. Peter would end up standing by the tree where they exchanged promises and he gave her the promise ring. Without her, he was lost.

"I don't know." He answered honestly, shaking his head as he distracted himself by stirring the cereal in the bowl with the spoon. "I don't..."

Aunt May looked at him with sympathy, but she was determined to help him get over this phase, just like she did. "You know, it's so funny. I've been..." She turned and grabbed the box from the small kitchen island and smiled at him. "I've been trying to clean up around here, get organized, and been putting some of Ben's stuff in boxes." She chuckled as she stared at Ben's things with nothing but fondness and nostalgia. "And it's so funny, the heavier the box gets, the lighter I feel."

Peter frowned, he didn't understand at first what she was implying. "You're throwing his stuff away?"

"No." Aunt May responded instantly, she shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "No, god, no. I couldn't do that." She admitted, Peter stared at her as she explained. "It's part of me. I'm just finding a better place for it."

He glanced away, knowing what she meant. It's been six months now, six hellish months, during that time all he felt was the lack of her presence and that was enough to make him abandon his duties as Spider-Man. Peter feared failing to save another civilian, he was scared of failing to be a hero. Heroes don't let other people die, they save them, they always save them. There might come a time when he's ready to put on the mask again, but right now he's wound is still fresh, he needs to learn how to cope before being Spider-Man again.

"Letting go doesn't mean forgetting about them, Peter." Aunt May told him softly, he felt a pang in his chest at the possibility of ever forgetting her, he didn't want that. "It's about making room for them in your heart and accepting that that's the closest we'll ever be to them." He glanced away and subtly shook his head. "You must simply have courage and I know you do, she knew it too."

He knew she was right but was he ready to let her go? No, scratch that.

Did he have the courage to love her and still let her go?

"I'm gonna take one last look, and I'm gonna put it where it belongs."

Peter made his way to his room, he closed the door, and glanced around at the mess his room was in. He ran a hand down his face before blowing out air from his mouth, he scratched the back of his neck as he made his way to his closet, he took out Richard's old briefcase and pulled out Ramsey's graduation gift. The small device lay on his palm as he tossed the briefcase inside the closet and kicked the door close, he took a seat on his swiveling chair and stared at the USB in his hand. The video consisted mostly of him along with a few five seconds long videos of him and Ramsey goofing around, but the voice-over was what killed him.

Ramsey would narrate sweet things to him, she confessed to him just how important he was for her, and how proud she was of the hero he had become. "God," He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt the tears rising in his eyes, "what am I doing? What are you doing, Peter?"

He missed her terribly, but he couldn't bring himself to hear her voice out of fear of never being able to move on. He blinked quickly and let go of his nose, Peter licked his lips before arming himself with courage and plugging the USB on the laptop's USB port. Peter pressed play and took in a big breath, his heart was hammering against his chest and he knew it was due to the mixture of pain and nostalgia of having to listen to her voice again, see her face again, her smile. To see all those beautiful memories they shared in such a short time. He was nervous and excited, for a moment he allowed his brain to trick him into believing that she was still alive, and he was only rewatching the video she had given him.

But then he remembered what the video was about, the poem she had chosen as if she knew her time on this earth was nearing an end.

"If I die tomorrow..." The video began, and Peter swallowed thickly, ignoring the already familiar pain that came with the forming lump in his throat. "If this was my last day with you, I would silently observe the reflection of this room in your eyes. Hoping to feel present... for the first time."

Peter inhaled sharply, he grabbed his breast and tried to soothe the pain he felt in his heart. "If this was my last day here... I would break the glass resting on my skin that invisibly separates me from this world... and from you." His chocolate eyes illuminated for the first time in six months as he watched the videos Ramsey had taken of them, most of them were happy, she was laughing, he was laughing, and others were sad and intimate.

Ethan had captured their story in just a couple of videos that Ramsey had recorded, his heart ached, and he didn't dare retain the tears building up in his eyes, he let them run freely. He was healing. "If this was my last day with you... I wouldn't tell you."

He pictured her smirking along with that spark of mischief that always made his insides melt. "... while you might be searching for me in between the lines, or trying to forget me."

"Never," Peter whispered vehemently. "Even if I tried, you're impossible to forget, Ramsey."

The video kept playing in the background, but he tuned out her voice and just watched the beautiful memories they shared. His chest became less compressed as the sudden realization sank in, he won't ever stop loving her, but loving someone does not mean holding on to them, but letting them go.

After cleaning up the mess that he has as a bedroom, Peter grabbed his coat and walked out the front door, making his way to the cemetery to pay one last visit to his girlfriend's grave. The snow fell around him in slow motion, showcasing the melancholy he felt inside as his feet carried him to the cemetery. Peter felt a hole in his chest, it was empty, for once he felt no pain, no nothing, just... endless nothingness that numbed him terribly. He would've probably taken longer at coming to a closure, but he wasn't like the rest of the world, he was Spider-Man and the people needed him.

You can try and save people, but you can't decide who dies and who lives.

She had once told him, it was hard to make peace with Captain Stacey's death then, but now it felt impossible to actually believe those words. He remembers that night clearly, the look in her eyes was always a strange mixture of tenderness and fierceness, that's why she was his rock. Some might think that all heroes are the bravest and strongest people to live on this earth, but the simple truth was that heroes are scared and doubt themselves all the time. He may very well be Spider-Man and catch a bus with his bare hands, but nobody knew about the fears, the self-doubt, the paranoia that came with saving people minutes before their death. Nobody knew about this, they only see heroes for how they present themselves to the world and not for what they truly are, humans hauling a great burden.

But Ramsey... man, she single-handedly beat a powerful witch, and not just that, she also made the brave choice of saving the world by simply removing herself. She was his hero.

"Hey... you." Peter greeted her, he watched his breath condensate as he spoke. "I miss you. God, I always miss you." He smiled and ran a hand down his head. "But I guess I'm growing used to your absence, doesn't mean it stopped being hard, it very much continues to be hard. I'm not going to lie... I know how much you hated when I did. I was a dumbass back then. Still am."

He licked his dry lips and rolled them in as he stared at the snow-coated gravestone. "Today I... rewatched your video and I must admit it hit differently this time. And I couldn't help but wonder if you knew all along how this was all going to end. Because you died... and that video, it kinda felt like a farewell this time." He chuckled, he brought his hand to his neck and reached out for the chain that contained the ring, he played with it absentmindedly as he continued to talk. "You were always one step ahead of me, so thank you for that beautiful gift. I needed it to remind myself that the thought of you wasn't always painful, you brought me joy and happiness and meaning and strength. You gave me infinity. Regardless of our paths diverging, you will always be with me because my truth is that I'll always love you and carry you with me."

Peter smiled at the grave. "But I have to let you go... and I have to think of you as a source of strength because I can't be Spider-Man on my own. I have to have you with me. You showed me that I don't always have to do things on my own." He shuffled closer to the grave. "Your bravery taught me to be a better hero, and your wisdom made carrying this burden a bit lighter."

He squatted down and pressed his forehead against the cold stone. "Thank you for bringing so much joy, happiness, and pain to my life. I love you now, and I'll love you forever until my heart turns black and blue." He kissed the grave, his lips lingered a few seconds before he leaned away and inhaled deeply, then he stood up. "I'll come and visit again once I've healed." He licked his lips and nodded with a sad smile. "This is goodbye for now."

Peter took one last and hard look at Ramsey Bianchi's grave before slowly backing away and preparing to leave. "Peter." A strange yet familiar voice made him halt, his eyebrows drew in together, his brain deciphering if that voice was a product of his imagination or was it indeed real?

There was only one way to find out. Peter slowly turned around and froze upon seeing a man who's been dead to him for years. "I don't wanna frighten you." Peter kept staring at the disheveled man with an unkempt beard and grayish hair, he was slightly chubbier and smaller since he last saw him.

It was when he chuckled nervously and took the first step closer to him, did Peter react in some sort of way. "Stay there. Stay right there. Don't move."

Peter's heart felt as if someone had grabbed it, ripped it out of his chest, and squeezed it right in front of his very eyes. He watched Richard Parker take a few steps back, maintaining the original distance. "But I'd like to tell you a few things if that's alright." He couldn't say anything, he could only stare at him as if he was seeing a ghost. "I know this is impossible to understand, Peter. I thought I knew what to say, but I don't- I don't know what to say to you except... that I'm sorry."

Richard observed his son stare at him with eyes of full disbelief. "It's me. It's me, Peter." He shook his head at the former scientist.

"I'm sorry, but you're not my father."

"I am your father." Peter shook his head again, Richard took a daring step closer to him. "Peter-"

"No! My father is dead." Peter declared, looking at him with fury as his voice grew deeper and tears welled up in his eyes.

Richard's heart broke in two upon seeing this reaction and hearing those words. "Peter..."

"He's dead! Who are you?" His face was flushed, and his voice shook with emotion, especially anger.

"I had to disappear, and I'm sorry," Richard spoke calmly, his palms facing Peter as he tried to soothe his aching son from a distance. "Understand that I had to disappear to keep you safe." Peter started advancing toward him, Richard's heart was beating furiously. "Like-"

Peter grabbed him by his coat, his hands curling into fists, and shook him. "What?! What?! Say it! Say what you wanna say! What do you wanna say?!" Tears rolled down his cheeks, his voice shook with anger and despair. "Where you been?"

Richard didn't know what to say, a heartbeat passed and in a broken voice, Peter said. "You're dead."

"I had to die to keep you alive." Richard reasoned again. "I had to disappear to keep you safe." Peter's knees buckled, but his father stopped him from falling, he placed a hand behind Peter's neck as he continued to speak. "Listen, listen to me. I had to disappear to keep my mistakes from catching up with you. I had to stay away from you to keep Osborn from hurting you, you understand what I'm saying?"

Peter's lower lip wobbled, and he bowed his head as he silently cried. "There was no other way to keep you safe." Richard held him as he cried and joined their foreheads. "I am so sorry."

Unable to keep listening, Peter let go of his coat and embraced him tightly, his head pressed against his chest as he used to do when he was a little boy. Richard held him, he held his boy close to him.

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The gray rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it."

—J.R.R. Tolkien

HOLA!

Welp aint this a sad ending?

Or is it? Nyehehehe

Stay safe mis amores 🤍