ANTEBELLUM: XIII

RAMSEY BIANCHI

THE MORNING STARTED YOUTHFULLY, THE SKY WAS A CLEAR BLUE WITH NO CLOUDS AND THE SUN SHINED THE BRIGHTEST. A wave of serenity and peace washed over me as I stare through the window, feeling the warmth of the sun's rays as they kissed my skin. A smile rested on my features as I stared at the neighborhood, one of our neighbors walked down the sidewalk with their dog. Taking a deep breath, I turn around and grabbed my schoolbag and my phone.

I made my way down the stairs before jumping over the last two, I heard the news playing as I enter the kitchen. Aunt Ivanna talked over the phone while Ethan and Connor were eating breakfast, "Good morning, fellas."

I smiled brightly while reaching for a bowl and a spoon, Aunt Ivana smiled at me and kissed my cheek before resuming her chatter. Connor passed me the cereal and the milk, "What's with you today?"

I took a seat on the chair next to him and served myself breakfast, Ethan glanced at me with a knowing smirk. "We're alive and well, we should be happy because of this."

Connor nodded slowly, his eyes narrowing as he tried to read me. "You know, whenever something good happens to you." He swallows. "You go all Gandhi on us."

Ethan snorted, "That's literally the exact same thing she said to me on the elevator." I shot him an annoyed look while his smirk only grew wider, he leans closer to us. "Does this sudden happiness... have to do with you having a date with Mr. Parker?"

I rolled my eyes at them before munching at my cereal, "Fuck off. The both of you." I swallowed before glaring at them. "Can't a woman be happy without having to tell?"

Both Connor and Ethan share a 'not surprised' look, before they could pester me further on, the sound of a gasp and glass shattering interrupted our childish banter. The three of us glance over at Aunt Ivana who wore a frightened look, Connor was quick to react as he made his way toward her just as her knees buckle beneath her.

"Mom! What's wrong?" Connor asks, clearly worried. Ethan jumped to his feet as he helped Connor guide their mother to the nearest seat, I took in her disturbed state.

"Should I call for help?" Ethan asked his older brother, Aunt Ivana shook her head.

"Mom, if it's something serious you have to tell us," Connor demanded.

I followed her line of sight, not even realizing what a mistake it was.

"See it for yourselves," I mumble, my heart was broken in two, Connor and Ethan follow my line of sight.

BENJAMIN PARKER; ANOTHER LIFE LOST TO VANDALISM.

Black vans slapped against the school's tiles as my hazel eyes frantically searched for a certain skater boy, I wore my heart on my sleeve as bump into students unapologetically. Scolds and glares were sent my way, but I couldn't care less, right now at this precise moment someone's light was killed in an act of vandalism.

I skied to a stop as I witness Peter slam Flash against the lockers, the strenuous sound of metal caused a few students to jump in fright. The whole hall had fallen in silence; everybody stares at the nerd kid who pinned the jock against the lockers. Not caring if I got hurt, I cut through the masses of students as I finally reached Peter and Flash.

I notice Peter's knuckles were white and his fingers rosy as he held Flash's collar tightly, without thinking I placed my hand on his shoulder blade. I could feel his muscles tense, Flash's blue eyes darted between Peter's and me.

"I'm so sorry Peter." Flash's confession took me by surprise more than it did to Peter, I look at Flash and saw the sincerity in his eyes. "I really am."

I squeeze Peter's shoulder before placing my other hand against his fist and gently pulling him away from Flash, my heart broke in two as I saw his bloodshot eyes with prominent bags under his eyes. The only evidence of grief students around him saw, but not me, I knew what it is to lose someone and grief goes way deeper than just tears and bags.

"Pe..." I reach out for him but he was quick to flee, my eyes followed his hunch posture as he tried to make himself look small.

Gwen stood in his path and without his consent she hugged him, my heart falters a little but I was quick to push aside those feelings. Peter didn't hug her back but instead walk away from her, I stood there in the middle of the hall with students who looked extremely uncomfortable and apologetic before eventually, they all move on.

Flash stood beside me, "You should talk to him." I turn to look at him, no sign of mockery. "He needs someone, don't let him lose himself in the grief."

I chuckled humorlessly, "Just like I did?"

Flash gave me a sad smile, one that was barely visible. "No. Just like I did."

With that being said, Flash disappeared into the crowd. My eyes trail behind him as he passed by Gwen who was approaching me, she stopped in front of me and offered me a sweet smile.

I stare at her, my eyes full of curiosity as I replayed Flash's words in my mind.

"Hey," Gwen said. "You okay?"

Frowning, I rebutted. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Gwen let out a heavy sigh, her eyes trailing down to her fidgeting fingers. "I was just wondering... you know what? Forget it. It's completely unconventional."

I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling annoyed all of a sudden. "Listen, I gotta go."

"Ramsey," Gwen called after me as I dashed across the hall, following Peter's footsteps.

I pushed the exit doors of Midtown High School, hazel eyes searching for Peter Parker on the school campus. I climb down the stairs hastily before my feet hit the grass of the school field, my eyes search the benches before settling on a hunch Peter Parker with shuddering shoulders and it wasn't because it was cold.

Sighing, I made my way up the benches before slowly approaching him. I notice he quickly looked away before hastily cleaning the trail of tears with his sleeve. I shrug off my schoolbag before setting it on the lower bench, I climb up and sat in front of him, he pushed his schoolbag against his chest.

"Hey, Pete," I said softly, my eyes portraying another feeling that wasn't pity.

He nodded, his leg was bouncing wildly and I know he wanted to be alone. But coming from a person with experience, the least he needs to be is alone, dangerous things happen when you grieve alone.

I cleared my throat, "Because it symbolizes respect, I have to say it." Peter met my eyes, I smiled fondly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Surprisingly enough, Peter didn't look away. Instead, he held my gaze as if he was trying to read between the lines until finally, he said something. "Why are you here? Really. Nobody has paid attention to the orphan kid unless they need something." His eyes were narrow but I allowed him to vent, even if he took out his anger on me. "Then there's you... the girl no one can figure out. You're like a coin, two-sided. You can be peculiar and fascinating, but you can also be dangerous and short-tempered."

I chuckle awkwardly, "Careful. One might say you're calling me bipolar."

Peter stared at me, his eyes devoid of emotions and I knew the feeling of not being able to feel something. In that state of mind, you can kill, it's like you deprived yourself of the human side and allowed instincts to take over.

I sigh, my face growing serious. "I'm here because I care for you, Peter."

Peter scoffs, "We barely even know each other."

I lean back on the benches with a confident smile, "In case you haven't noticed, that's exactly what we've been doing for the past two weeks."

Peter shook his head, "You really don't want to be near me right now."

"On the contrary, I want to be there for you Peter," I spoke softly, my hand found its home on top of his. "You have to know... that you can count on me. I know what you're going through and I've visited very dark places because I mistook grief for fear. Fear of reality, fear of being alone. Don't lose yourself in the grief, Pete."

Peter moves his hand away from mine, "That's... that's really sweet Ramsey. But I'm not scared, I'm –"

" –Angry." I cut him off. "Furious. Raging. Infuriated. Vexed." I listed all the feelings that once dominated my heart for a very long time. "You know what I learned after living twelve years without my parents? Bad things happen when angry people grieve, Peter. And believe me, you don't want that type of thing tormenting your head every time you close your eyes."

Peter continued to stare, but this time reason flashed before his eyes as he lowered his eyes. Soaking in every word I said.

"I'm not gonna do something stupid," Peter said, but I saw through his words.

"No trates de verme la cara de pendeja." I seethed.

"What?"

"I said: Tell that to someone who doesn't know the weight of grief," I said. "I know what's going through your mind. What you're planning. You're going after him."

After a few seconds of silence, he said. "Wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

I chuckled darkly. "I did. But I can guarantee you, the void won't ever go away if you keep feeding it." My hazel eyes darken as a distant memory of an underground fight club flashes through my mind. "Please consider that, unlike many kids, you still have someone who cares for you and needs you."

After that brief conversation, I left Peter and went back inside the school. Peter never showed up, and the classes went by smoothly as if the world hadn't lost an innocent soul, but that's life... an infinite loop.

🅷🅾🅻🅰

Hey raza. So I
Want to share
Something with
You guys, I know
Most of you can roll
Your eyes or just look
Past it, but I just gotta
Say it.

No doubt you've
Heard it before.

The shebang is:
Be. Kind.

Always. I know its
Hard, some people
Say or do stupid things
Out of spite, but not
Everybody is the same.
We have to learn to spot
Out the difference, the world
Right now is at chaos.

Unnecessary deaths, people
NEED, they HAVE to learn to
Respect other's believes,
Traditions, friends, points of view,
They have to LEARN to respect.

I'm not saying, agree
With everything your
Opinion doesn't matter.
No.
I mean, respect other's
Opinions and if you're
Going to argue do it
Respectfully, don't attack
People. That provokes them.

It's terrible what's happening,
Everytime I watch George's
Video on the news my
Blood boils with pure anger.
Here in Honduras we are
Going through our own fight,
It's not as powerful as the USA,
because sadly where we live
We mean shit.

It's the truth, and it angers me.

I feel so angry because I wish,
There was respect, I wish there was equality, I wish nobody abused
Of their power.

So even if you don't make
A worldwide change, be kind.
You don't know if someone, a
Stranger or a friend follows your
Initiative and try to be a
Better version of themselves.

I don't know you, but I love you.

No matter who you are, where
You come from or what your
Past is.

I love you, you're strong and you
Are capable. We all struggle and
We are all afraid of taking the first
Step, just know you're not alone.

Recently my friend got into this
Organization called Students of Liberty
Apparantly its a worldwide thing.
Sadly I couldn't get in, but I am so looking forward into it, I HAVE to do something.

Living in Honduras and seeing
How abandoned we are by our president, irks me. I love my people
But I know it takes ovaries to take
Matter into your own hands.

God bless you and your journey💓

Stay safe❣