ＴＥＱＵＩＬＡ

𝔴𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔤𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔶

♟

"Thank you, Mrs. Forman," I smile as I snatch yet another cookie from a plate on her kitchen counter.

I skip down the stairs to the basement and plop myself onto the lawn chair. 

Eric saunters into the room behind Jackie.

"So, Eric," she beams. "What were you and Donna taking all hot and heavy about?"

"Your hair."

"Really?"

"No! We're going out to dinner tonight for Valentine's Day."

Hyde juts out his bottom lip in mock confusion, although he knows exactly what's going on. "Uh, no, no, no. Donna and I are going to the library to study tomorrow night."

Jackie rolls her eyes. "On Valentine's Day? Who studies on Valentine's Day?"

"Who studies at all?" I snicker.

He sends me a look. "I didn't know it was Valentine's Day when I made the date! To study."

"Well, I'm sure she just forgot about you," Eric reassures sarcastically.

"We just talked about it a minute ago!"

"Women, you know?" the boy laughs nervously. "Anyway, I'm going to give Donna my class ring."

Jackie gasps. I can almost hear her saying "How romantic!" in my head.

"I figure it's time to make it official. I mean, she's just been waiting for any jerk to swoop down on her!"

"And you're that jerk," Hyde grumbles.

"Well, better me than some other jerk."

Fez laughs incredulously. "Why are you looking at me? Hyde is the other jerk."

I cover my mouth to prevent a fit giggles from coming out.

Steven glares at me. "Princess, let's go get some cookies."

I raise my eyebrows as he swoops around to drag me up the stairs.

"What do you want?" I huff.

"What is up with you today?"

"I had some tequila this morning!"

"Jesus," he hisses. "Listen, you've got to help me out with Donna."

"Why don't we go back to my house and we can talk it over?"

"C'mon, man, I'm not in the mood for joking."

I rest a hand on his forearm and he gives me a grossed-out look.

"I'm not kidding," I scoff. "I'd love to talk to you about Donna, but I don't want to do it in the Formans' kitchen."

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he towers over me, but he doesn't let it overtake his features. "You are so plastered."

"Do you want my help?"

"Fine. Let's go."

I squeal uncharacteristically and drag him to my front steps. He doesn't say a word until his eyes fall on the empty bottle of liquor on my counter.

"You drank a whole bottle?"

"Mhm!"

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Nope! I was bored this morning. And we're here to talk about Donna. Sit."

He shimmies onto the couch. 

"Okay, here's my verdict," I nod with a slight slur. "You did a shitty thing by inviting her out when she and Eric are practically dating. Eric also did a shitty thing by stealing her away from you. And Donna did an even shittier thing by ditching you without asking you."

"Yeah, we're pretty shitty."

"Shut up. You have only one choice. Suck it up. Because if you start complaining about it to them both of them will get defensive and we'll have a ski lodge repeat."

I rest on my feet, lean forward, and cock my head to the right as a grin spreads across my face. "Or, you can crash their date."

He chuckles sarcastically. "That's a great idea."

"Don't do that! It won't end up well!"

He takes his sunglasses off and stares at me, squinting his eyes as if he's trying to look into my soul. "You're not picking up sarcasm. That tequila must've been really strong."

I exhale sharply. "Hyde, however strong it was, it was stronger than you."

He scowls and grabs my chin, squishing my cheeks together in the process. I sit quietly as he pulls my face closer. His blue eyes bore into mine.

"Dude, your eyes are bloodshot."

I beam at him. "Tequila would be a better boyfriend for Donna. It's stronger than Eric!"

I collapse into a fit of giggles as he jerks his hands away. I swivel around until my head is laying on his lap and my feet hang off of the other side of the couch.

"You're really annoying when you're drunk."

I pat his cheek. "So why don't you go back to Eric's?"

"Because if I leave you here, you'll do something stupid."

I yawn. "Aw, that's so sweet of you, Steven."

"You're a mess."

I turn myself so that I'm on my side, facing away from him. "I know. Let me sleep."

"Princess, don't-"

"Too late," I mumble as I drift off.

♟

I wake up to a pounding in my head and a pile of drool on the pillow below me. I groan as I shove the blanket off of me and prop myself up on my arm. I scan my surroundings and take note of everything.

My glass coffee table. The black fur carpet under it. The not-too-flashy wallpaper. The pairs of shoes and a few coats by the doorway. I'm home. Good.

I can tell I have a hangover, though I have virtually no idea what happened. I think I drank tequila, but I'm not sure. I walk into my kitchen to see what's missing in my liquor cabinet and walk facefirst into a hard chest.

Smells like cigarettes and weed. It's strangely comforting. At first, I worry that I hooked up with someone again, but I recognize the scent. 

I step back and my eyes trail up to Hyde's face. I wrinkle my nose. "What are you doing here?"

He glowers at me. "Good to see you're back."

I smack a hand to my forehead and push past him as another painful ache hits me. "What did I do?"

"Drank a bottle of tequila. You got all giggly."

"Ew."

"I know."

"Now, answer my question," I sigh as I chew on a piece of bread. "Why are you here?"

"You forced me to follow you here to talk about Donna and fell asleep. And I went home to change my clothes but I came back because I don't trust you."

I hoist myself up onto the counter. "Thanks. Are you hungry?"

"No, I helped myself to your fridge."

I roll my eyes. "Of course you did."

I finish my bread and bump my shoulder into his arm just for the heck of it as I climb up the stairs to my room.

"I'm going to change and then we can go to Eric's," I call.

I hear an "okay" as I peel my clothes off and swap them out for a tight-fitting turtleneck and jean skirt.

While we walk down the street, Hyde fills me in on his situation to prevent too much confusion on my part. As soon as we get to the neighboring house, I take notice of the fact that Eric and Donna are nowhere to be found. I can't say it surprises me. 

We greet the others and take our seats in the basement. 

"So," Kelso breathes, "if Eric and Donna are going out Saturday night that means we have no wheels."

He gives me a pointed look. 

"No," I utter.

"Oh, come on!"

"No. I don't want you guys in my car. Jackie and Donna, I can deal with, but not the rest of you."

"Well, I can borrow my dad's car," Jackie proposes.

"Ooh," Michael chuckles excitedly. "It's a Lincoln. Leather." His body snaps to face his girlfriend's. "Oh! You know what we should do? Ditch Hyde, Ana, and Fez, and make out in the backseat!"

She glares at him.

Fez rests his hands on his hips. "You said that out loud."

"Yeah, I don't care."

"Hey, I know!" the girl pipes. "We can go shopping for clogs!"

"Clogs are overrated," I drawl, extending my foot to show off my knee-high boots.

She ignores me with a grin lighting up her face. "Pick me up at seven!" She dashes out of the room.

"Well, have fun, man, I'm out," Hyde sulks.

"Yeah, me too," I shrug.

"Oh, we won't be shopping. We'll be doing it! Again," Kelso laughs. "'Cause that's what we do! We do it!"

"Ew."

"I'm in!" Fez claims firmly. 

A look of absolute bewilderment passes over the taller boy's face. "Uh, no Fez, you're not invited."

"Oh. Then I'm out."

"Later." Kelso spews quickly before leaping over the back of the couch and rushing out the door.

"Looks like it's just us three," Fez beams.

"Yeah, which is really wrong, because I was supposed to be hanging out with Donna until Forman snaked me," Hyde grumbles.

The foreigner punches his shoulder cheerfully. "Who would've thought that she'd want to go to a nice restaurant instead of a smelly old library on Valentine's Day?"

We spend the day in there, lazing about and getting high once or twice. Eventually, the time comes when the Formans and Pinciottis gather together to fuss about the date.

Once we're sure they're gone, we move out to the driveway. I suck on a popsicle and watch as Hyde shoots hoops. He looks good in his knitted gray sweater.

"Want to go to the Hub?" Fez offers. "I've got my eye on this plump girl."

Steven chuckles lowly, shaking his head. "Thanks, man, but I'll pass."

"Oh, poor Hyde. You love Donna and she's with your good friend Eric."

He chucks the ball at the hoop and misses. He grabs it and turns to face his friend. Without his classic pilot glasses, he seems more vulnerable. At this moment, he looks... broken. It hurts to see him like that. Like his situation has such an effect on him that even he, one of the best at hiding his emotions, can't keep his walls up.

"And?"

"And that's the oldest story in the world. A sad one at that."

He sighs. "You know what, man? I had a chance and I didn't take it. And once Forman gives her that ring, man, they're dating. And it would be really shitty to hit on her then. Not that I wouldn't do it, it'd just be really shitty."

Fez smirks knowingly. "If you don't tell Donna how you feel, then you will regret it."

Hyde dribbles the ball in thought for a moment before tossing it to the other boy. "I'm going to the Vineyard."

"Good for you."

I watch as he jogs down the street. Fez takes a seat next to me. "So, who are you rooting for?"

"I'm naturally biased towards Eric because Hyde tends to piss me off, but I don't have a preference. As long as Donna is happy, I guess I am."

I can't decide if that's a lie or not. "What about you?"

He grins. "I'm hoping for Hyde. It's more drama!"

I laugh under my breath. "You are something else, Fez."

He hesitates before slowly and uncomfortably placing a hand on my thigh. "We're alone."

I roll my eyes and kiss his cheek. "That's all I'm giving you."

"For now?"

I giggle. "For now."

"Are you done with your pop?"

I hand the unfinished treat to him. "You can have it."

"Anastasia, you are one of the best potential girlfriends I've ever had."

This boy never fails to make me smile. The idiot.

♟

I sit cross-legged on the floor with Fez's arm wrapped loosely around my waist during Circle.

"So, Forman, man, I'm sorry about tonight with Donna. And for taking your dinner," Hyde says through a mouthful of chicken. "Are we cool, man?"

My eyes flick to Eric. "Yeah, man. We've gotta be. Look, we've been friends since kindergarten. No girl's going to come between us."

"That's great, man. So, um, if Donna ever breaks up with you and starts dating me, are we still friends?"

He laughs sarcastically and takes the chicken. "No."

"Tonight," Kelso sniffles, "I learned there's a price to be paid for doing it. She said, 'Forever,' man. And I think she meant it."

"The inside of my mouth feels like cotton. As if cotton was in my mouth," Fez mutters.

I lean my head on his shoulder. "Maybe it's because you kept sucking on the stick after you finished my popsicle."

Hyde licks his fingers. "Kelso, man, women are like muffins. And once you've had a muffin, you will put up with anything to have another muffin." Sounds like someone hasn't been getting any. "And they know that. Now she really owns you, man."

I smile dreamily. "Yes, women are amazing."

Eric waves his already-finished chicken bone around. "Hyde, you sure know a lot about women considering the fact that you've never had a steady girlfriend. What's that all about?"

"I'll tell you what that's all about, Forman! My mind is pure, man. I don't fall victim to the female race. I'm here, sans girlfriend, to help you guys out!"

Fez downs his can of Cola. "Then I have a question. How much masturbation is too much?"

I scoot away from him and closer to Kelso.

"No such thing as too much, Fez."

"Ew!" I splutter.

"Of course you'd say that!" Michael wails bitterly, obviously still upset about Jackie. "Girls don't get how great it is!"

I raise my eyebrows. "How do you know girls don't do it, too?"

They stare at me slack-jawed, and I collect my jacket.

 "Pigs."

♟

I promise I'm not trying to create chemistry between Fez and Ana but HE'S SUCH A BEAN AND THE ONLY WAY TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IS THROUGH HER KJHDSFA

Also, I'm sorry about the redundancy of the tequila but I got extra excited after choosing the song for this chapter. Anyways...

Feedback, comments, and votes are always appreciated!

Love you guys,

Lissy