That video is so freaking sad! ('°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

John POV
"IT WORKEDDDDD!!!! IT FUCKINGGGG WORKEDDDDD!!!! SUCK MY DICK REYNOLDS!!!!!!" Alex cries, as he runs into the dorm. "What worked?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"Um, my plan to help Mariah break up with her boyfriend who's abusive and file a restraining order worked!" He says, trying to hold down his bubbling excitement.

He probably likes her...You should have known, he would never like someone like you...

"Now for the secret part..."

He's going to tell you he's breaking up with you because, you're nothing but a burden.

"...Getting Peggy and Mariah together!"

That's not true, he loves me!

Surrrreeeeee he does, he's just waiting for the right moment to leave your sorry ass.

Stop it! Stop it! stop it!

Alex POV
"John are you ok...?"
"I..um...yeah"
"John you're really quiet all of a sudden"
"I'm fine, ok!"
Shit...
"John, I'm sorry, I just wanted to know you're ok. You're my boyfriend and I care about you so much. It hurts me to see you like this..."
John looks up at me and I can see tears pricking his eyes. "John..."
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Alex!" he sobs. I quickly wrap my arms around him and let him sob into my shoulder. After a minute he pulls away and stares at his hands. I carefully lift his chin so I can meet his eyes. "John. John, please look at me." I whisper.
"Do you even love me?! Would you even care if I died!?"
"John! How can you say that! Don't tell me that I wouldn't cry for the rest of my life. Don't tell me that I wouldn't shut myself off from everyone else. Don't tell me that I wouldn't die a little inside every single time something reminded me of you. Don't tell me that I wouldn't kill myself because I couldn't live without you. John, don't tell me that I will ever stop loving you."

John POV
"John! How can you say that! Don't tell me that I wouldn't cry for the rest of my life. Don't tell me that I wouldn't shut myself off from everyone else. Don't tell me that I wouldn't die a little inside every single time something reminded me of you. Don't tell me that I wouldn't kill myself because I couldn't live without you. John, don't tell me that I will ever stop loving you."
A new wave of tears stream down my face as I stare into Alex's deep brown eyes. "D-do you know that little voice in the back of your head...?"
"Yeah..."
"I have two of them in mine, one is constantly telling me, t-that you never loved me, that nobody would care if I died, that I'm nothing more than a burden. It tells me to self harm, to end it all. The other voice is a voice of reason, it tells me to be strong, that as long as I keep s-smiling everything is going to be ok. It's a constant argument between the two voices a-and most of the time, t-the first one wins..."
"John,  do the voices sound like anybody?"
"The first one sounds like my father..."
"You're father?"
"W-when I came out to my parents my dad beat me every day for years. I let him. One day, I snapped, I tried to fight back. H-he disowned me..."
"And the second voice?"
"It's my mom. She died when I was 17, she loved me unconditionally and always told me to be strong and s-smile."
"John- I'm so sorry"
"I miss her. Alex, I miss her so much!"
"John, it'll get better, I promise you it will get better." he said quietly, taking my hands. "How do you know that!? How the hell do you know that Alex!?" I scream, jumping to my feet, tears streaming down my face. He didn't say anything. Instead, he simply stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. "Because, I've been there. I know what it feels like to lose your mom, I know what it feels to have a terrible father, I know what it feels like to have voices in your head telling you that you're nothing." He whispers. I can feel that he's crying too. "John, please just tell me that you'll remember that I will love you until I die. And even then, I will watch you from up in the stars and continue to love you. I will always be there for you." he says, pulling away and looking at me with a hard stare. "I-I love you Alex!" I choke out through sobs.
"It's going to be ok. I love you, John."

How in the living hell did I publish this why'd it escalate so quickly-
-kai
823 words