Niall practically has a stroke when Harry and I come out of our room.

"Finally!" he screeches, and Liam and Zayn tell him to lower his voice in a fit of laughter.

"Boys," Simon warns, his arms crossed. We all shut up and lower our heads, treading single file into the elevator.

"Bit grouchy i'nt he?" I whisper to Zayn with a wink.

"Tomlinson."

I wince at the sharpness of Simon's voice. "Sorry, sir." I say, a little annoyed. We all stand in uncomfortable silence, then Harry suddenly rests a large hand on my shoulder, and I honestly thought that the butterflies were going to eat me from inside out.

"Why are you so tense?" he whispers into my ear.

"' dunno." I lie, feeling my ears heat up. Relief washes over me when the elevator doors finally slide open, and I sprint out like it's a race, leaving five visibly confused people behind me.

"You 'right, mate?" Liam asks, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeh, Li." I reply. 

He has no idea.

We all walk into the dining area and begin piling food onto our plates, though none of our plates are even close to how full Niall's is by the time we all sit down.

"Geez Ni, where you gonna put it all?" Zayn asks, looking wide eyed at the plate.

"In my belly. Duh." Niall replies, grabbing his utensils, but using them more like shovels to get food into his mouth, rather than using them for their intended purposes. 

We all take that as a signal to start, so we begin eating (with manners). I, however, am having trouble focusing on my meal, because Harry is sitting across from me, wearing a shirt with a few of the top buttons undone, showing off his chest. I guess I must've been staring because Simon smirks and whispers, "Distracted?" 

"No." I insist, yanking my gaze away from Harry and training my eyes on my plate.

"Don't get any ideas, Tomlinson."

Ideas? What was this man going on about? I'm just trying to enjoy my morning!

Once we've all finished our plates, and Niall's finished three, Simon clears his throat, 

"Alright, boys. You've got a show in a little under a week so be ready. You have most of today to yourselves, but tomorrow you need to be at your best for rehearsals. I'm tired of babysitting you lot, so Liam's in charge today. Stay near the hotel, don't get into trouble, don't do anything stupid."

"No promises." I joke, earning a chuckle from the boys and a disapproving stare from Simon. He heaves a big, tired sigh, then leaves us by ourselves. "Took him long enough," I say with a smile, mostly to Harry, because I love his laugh dearly.

"I know, right?" Harry grins, making eye contact with me. We both just stare and smile like idiots until Liam breaks the tension.

"Okayyy... what's first?"

"We could go to the pool." Niall suggests.

"No." Zayn immediately says. "No way."

"Aw, c'mon Zayn," Niall presses. "We can teach you how to swim."

"Not gonna happen."

"Pleaseeeee..." Niall begs.

"Nope."

"It'll be funnn..."

"For you," Zayn scoffs. "I don't find drowning fun, surprisingly."

"You're not gonna drown." Liam laughs.

"Yes, I will!" Zayn insists. "Just look at Ni's guilty face!"

Niall laughs and sticks his tongue out.

"A swim sounds nice." Harry puts his opinion in.

"Yeh, it'll be fun!" I agree.

Zayn rolls his eyes then puts his face in the palms of his hands. "Fine." he groans.

"Yayyyy!" Niall yells, standing up from his seat.

"Right, let's go then, lads." Liam says, then we all head to our rooms to change into our swim trunks.

-

Harry and I are in our room, and just as I finish changing and am about to leave the room, Harry randomly gives me a cheeky smile and starts attacking me with tickles. Usually I'd tickle him back and play along, but that would just get my hopes up about us.

"Harry," I laugh, trying really hard to keep a stern face. "Harry, stop!"

"You're not even trying to fight back, you're bringing this upon yourself!" Harry teases, continuing to tickle me, pinning me against the bed.

"Harry, it's not funny!" I yell, still trying to fight the laughter that's spilling from my lips.

"It's not? Then why are you laughing, Lou?" Harry questions with a goofy grin.

Oh boy, the dad jokes.

"Harry!!" I scream with one final giggle, and kick him off of me.

Harry laughs and his beautiful green eyes are twinkling playfully. As much as I'd love to do this forever, it's just not good for me. For us. I have to tell him.

"Harry," I say. He looks at me and realizes that I'm not returning his smile.

"What's wrong, Boo bear?" 

I flinch at the pet name. He's not making this easy on me, that's for damn sure.

"It's just- uh- I think we- you-" I stutter, unsure how to get my point across. "We- I don't think we can do this anymore."

To my surprise, and utter confusion, Harry just laughs at me. 

"Obviously, Lou, you're not fighting back. If you don't defend yourself, I'm gonna win the tickle war every time."

I sigh. I really don't want to do this. All I want is to run into his arms and beg him to be mine for real. I want to know what our relationship means to him. I want to show him off to the world without the fear of other people's judgement. What would Simon think? He already hates how physical we are now. Add a label and the man would go insane. No, I'll just have to move on somehow.

" 'S not what I mean, Harry." I say, my hands fidgeting. "I mean- we need to be normal best friends, Haz."

"Normal?" Harry repeats, his brows furrowing in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Like-" I sigh heavily, pausing. How was I going to do this without falling apart? "I mean we need to stop acting..." my voice trails off, the word I didn't say, implied.

"Gay?" Harry asks, somewhat defensively. 

"Yes- I mean no- I mean-"

"I don't understand," Harry says softly, searching my face for some nonverbal explanation.

"I don't either, exactly." I reply, honestly. "It's just, I don't want-" I bury my face in my hands, ashamed. "I can't explain. It's too complicated."

"What are you going on about?" Harry asks, looking very lost and maybe even a little hurt.

"Please." I whimper, tears threatening to spill from my blue eyes. "It'll make things so much easier."

"Louis, what are you saying?"

"We just can't anymore, okay?!" I shout, out of nowhere to be honest. I regret it immediately. 

"Okay." Harry whispers, tears falling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

With that, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving me all alone, helplessly crying into my hands.

I've messed everything up. And we won't ever be the same.

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Opinions?? I thought this chapter turned out okay. Let me know in the comments! Thanks again for reading! TPWK <3