I put on another one of my fake smiles as I walked to the door behind the students, and sighed when I closed it. I was finally alone, finally.

Painfully slow, I walked back to my desk and slumped onto my chair, crossing my arms over the wood and lying my head down. I definitely needed sleep, not only God, but my students as well have started noticing that.

If I had any strength left, I would have probably marched to Louis' classroom and set it on fire with him still inside. I blamed my tiredness on him; it's like his request came true, even without him trying.

For ten days straight, not only have I tried avoiding him for the third time in two months, but I also couldn't sleep at night. But this, wasn't the same, it wasn't the same at all. Usually I would roll over to Ashton and shake him half awake, and then I'd finally fall asleep in his arms. It's what I've been doing for two years; I haven't had a problem with insomnia for just as long.

And now. Now this motherfucker returns into my life and turns everything upside down. I tried my best to ignore him and not let him ruin everything, but it's like he wasn't even human. It's like he was a fucking force that couldn't be stopped.

First, he tries interacting with me at work. Okay, we're colleagues, we work together, so I guess that's alright. Then he offers to drive me home, and brings me my stuff that I've forgotten at work. Alright, I guess that's okay too, it's just the fact that it's him doing it that bothers me.

But coming into my home and impressing the fuck out of my parents, thus turning them against my fiancé even more? Hold the fuck up.

And like that's not enough at all, he tells me he wants me to regret leaving him. Hmpf. As if I hadn't already done that. As if I haven't cried myself to sleep because of him, like I haven't spent literal hours next to my phone, waiting for him to call, text, anything.

But no, the asshole wants me to, ahem, spend my nights lying next to my fiancé, awake while he slept, thinking about him and what a fool I made of myself by leaving him. I'm not even ashamed to admit that I've memorized that entire speech of his. After all, it is what I thought about while I laid awake at 3:35 in the morning; while I did exactly what he'd wanted me to.

That's the only thing I felt guilty about; that I really couldn't sleep at night, that I really thought about him when I shouldn't have, that his words really got to me. I always thought I had genuinely regretted asking for a break, but I had never been more aware to that, than in the past ten days.

Which resulted this; me trying to take a nap at my working place. The only place where I didn't think about Louis all the time, because too many things would happen for my thoughts to get distracted. Or it could have been the fact that he was there too, and I could see him at any time.

I sighed heavily as the thought of probably suffering from insomnia again that night, crossed my mind. It was driving me mentally insane, so much Louis on my mind. Ashton had suggested me sleeping pills last night; he'd started noticing it too. On another note, I might take his advice and bring myself some peace already.

Just as I'd completely dozed off, my cell phone—that was next to me—went off, causing me to almost fall over because of how fast I'd sat up. With shaky hands, I picked it up and cleared my throat so I'd sound as conscious as possible when I clicked the green button.

"Hello?" I answered the call, not looking at the caller ID as I did.

"Lori, where the hell are you?" I was relieved to hear Destiney's voice, rather than someone else's.

"I'm-I'm in my classroom, what's up?"

"We agreed to have lunch together today, what do you think is up?"

I blinked a few times, and nodded to myself. "Right, sorry, I'm just a little tired. I'll be in the staff room in a minute, you're there, right?"

She sighed, a bit frustrated, "Yeah, I'm with Maria. Renee went to lunch with Trevor, so it's just us."

I frowned for a second, needing a moment to remember Trevor was Renee's husband. "Okay, I'll be right there. I need to leave my textbooks too."

Less than a minute later we hung up, and it took me some time to gather all of my stuff before leaving. I knew everyone worked slower when they're tired, but I was an absolute phenomenon.

Walking down the hallway was like a slow-motion video; I nearly wasn't aware of anything, except finding a clear path up the stairs, and then to the staff room. It was supposed to be like any other day. Only, this time someone decided to mess with me.

As I felt someone tap my left shoulder, I looked behind myself and when I saw no one there, I stupidly—clumsily—spun around, almost tripping over my own feet as I did. When the embarrassment ended, I wasn't surprised to see Louis, laughing on my right.

"What the hell?" I hissed, for a moment forgetting who he was.

"Thought I'd have some fun with you," He answered with a crinkly smile.

It took me a few seconds to unglue my eyes from his, dare I say, perfect face, and start paying attention to where I was going. Within a second I could feel my heart accelerating, when I fully realized that I was walking side by side with my nemesis.

"So how've you been?" Hm, he was pretty nice for an avenger.

"Good, I finally learned how to be strict," I said, attempting to joke. "What about you?"

"Ah, you know," He shrugged. "Disappointing test results, 16 year old girls being suggestive so I'd give them a higher grade. You know how it is."

Even though I hadn't had anything similar happen to me since September, I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Just as I thought," I mumbled to myself, but to my dismay, he'd caught my words.

"What?" Louis said as he opened the door, and waited for me to enter the staff room first. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean... you sound just like the 21 year old Louis I used to know," I said slowly, mentally high-fiving myself after not messing up any of the words. "You haven't changed, but you haven't grown up either."

I heard him huff as we made our way to the long table, "Does that mean you still think I'm a ladies' man?" His tone was humorous, but I could tell the thought pissed him off a little.

"Well aren't you?" I said, matter of factly, as I put my Year 11 books away in the cabinet, with Louis following my every step.

"No," He said flatly. "I thought I made that clear."

"Yeah, you did, two years ago," I almost laughed. "And then all of that went down the toilet, when I found out why you made a move on me in the first place. Explain that."

I wasn't expecting him to literally start explaining himself to me, but oh well. Looks like this meant to him more than it did to me.

"Things changed during those three months, and I really fell for you," He said shamelessly, loud even, causing the couple of people that were near us to hear him, and give us weird looks. Well thanks a lot, man.

"You were the one who threw everything down the toilet in the end, anyway." When I looked at him, his eyebrows were furrowed and lips slightly parted, with no sign of a smile on them. Now that is when I started getting confused.

"Does it seriously bother you?" I asked, frowning as well. "After two years? Geez, you'd think a guy like you would get over it in an hour."

It was all fun and games to me, but it seemed like he was genuinely becoming angry. Why though? How, actually? Just two minutes ago he was messing around with me, and now this? Really?

"Do you not fucking understand English? Do you need me to speak French?" He hissed, doing his apparent best not to start yelling. "I just fucking told you, it wasn't the same in the beginning and the end. Everything I did, everything I said, was genuine. Don't you dare tell me I was still a player when you found out about that shit."

I stared at him for a few moments, a little shocked that he'd become so worked up about it in just a matter of minutes. "Are you saying you experienced a revolution of some sort while you were with me?" I asked loudly, even though I wasn't in the mood for fighting, or anything really.

"Well. As ridiculous as you made it sound, yeah, I did," Louis said, just as loudly, "Because I really thought you were worth it. And I still think you are."

Now we both just stood there, gaping at each other. He was looking at me, probably because he wanted to hear my response to him revealing his feelings to me. But I kept staring into his eyes, not only not knowing what to say, but not knowing what to think either. My mind was, in every way, blank.

"Lori, are you comi- hey, stop it!" I heard Maria's voice, not far behind me.

"You're interrupting them, stop it!" Now that was Destiney, sounding annoyed by Maria. I knew she didn't only want to give us space, but wanted to listen to our conversation as well. It was Des, after all.

"Alright," I finally said, after a good 20 seconds, "You're being ridiculous."

"No," Louis said as I turned away from him, "I'm just being honest. I've never been anything else with you."

I stopped in my tracks, causing Des and Maria to widen their eyes as I clenched my jaw and curled my fingers into tight fists, and turned around to face him again.

"Okay, what the fuck do you want?" I hissed, trying to be as quiet as I could but kind of failing at that, "Why are you telling me all of this now? Huh? What do you want?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I want," He said, a small, knowing smirk plastered on his lips. "I told you less than two weeks ago."

"But why?" I nearly whined. "You're not fucking 10 years old, you should have gotten over it! Why would you say something like that, why would you even think of something like that?"

My voice was becoming slightly desperate, and by the end of my speech my expression was the same. Louis' lips were parted again, but this time it looked like his breathing had become heavier. That must have been a sign that I was winning the argument; hell yeah.

"Jesus," I continued, wanting to completely end the conversation. "This will sound ridiculous, but it's like... it's like you still love me or somethi-"

"I do."

If I hadn't caught his lips moving I would have thought I was imagining things. But, sure enough, Louis had answered the question I never asked. And never wanted to know the answer of.

I gave him a weird look, taken aback, and waited for an explanation. I was actually waiting for something like 'sorry, that came out wrong' or something... but it never came.

"You do... what?" I asked stupidly, but I guess when you have a fiancé and you ex boyfriend tells you something like... that, you just don't want to believe it happened.

"I..." Louis started, and I could feel my heart skip a beat as I waited for him to answer me. But it didn't come, for a long minute, he just bounced on his tiptoes and kept looking away from me. He was nervous; for the first time since we met again in September, I witnessed him being nervous.

"I just... said it." He finally finished his sentence, and as happy as I thought I would be about it, it was the complete opposite.

When his words—all of them—sunk into my brain, I started lightly shaking my head, which became frantic after a few seconds. "No," I nearly choked out, "No, you can't come into my life and say something like that. Not after two years, no."

I turned around again, but his near-shouting stopped me from walking away. "Excuse me," His words were filled with venom as he spoke, "But whose fault is it that I'm saying it after two years? Whose fault is it that I haven't been saying it every single day, for the past two years?"

"Yours! It's your goddamn fault!" I bit back, less than a heartbeat after he'd finished talking. "Fuck you and your revenge bullshit, you were the one who left me on the train station! You were the one who replied with 'I don't think so' when I asked if I was ever going to see you again!"

"Well what was I supposed to do, huh? It was more than obvious that you didn't want to be with me!"

The sigh he let out after he finished talking broke my heart, almost as much as his words; he genuinely thought I didn't want to be with him. He really thought that the one time I told him I loved him, I was lying.

"I loved you, you bastard," I spat. "And it broke my heart to see you leave. If you really loved me, you wouldn't have just left, you would have fought for us! You should have fought for us!"

"I didn't just leave!" He shouted, and neither him nor I were aware that almost everyone in the staff room had their eyes on us. "Never say that again! I worked my ass off for you, I fought for both of us so you wouldn't have to move a finger! I did everything I could to get a reaction from you after that night, but when you asked for a three month break..."

His voice got quieter just at the end, "That was just too much, even for me."

For a while, I stood there and watched him with parted lips, and he did the same. It wasn't until someone entered the staff room, that I realized people were watching us. I nonchalantly looked around and caught a few colleague's eyes, causing them to look away.

I sighed shakily, and took a few steps toward Louis so we wouldn't draw too much attention again. "I-I needed time," I started in a creaky, low voice, "I thought you would understand. After you hurt me, after you emotionally destroyed me..."

The glimmer of pain that flashed through his eyes, was exactly what I was aiming for with those words; "I thought, I thought I could count on you to stay. As selfish as it might sound."

I definitely didn't want to come off as weak in that moment, but tears seemed like a good accessory, especially since I couldn't stop them from forming.

"Because, trust me, there were times when I needed you so goddamn fucking much, and you weren't there for me. What kind of love is that?"

I only noticed how close we were standing in front of each other, when I finished my little speech; there were literally two inches separating our bodies. It was nothing like the other day though, when he told me what he wanted in front of my building; this time I wasn't nervous, I was actually in control... I think.

"I, um..." Louis started as he finally broke eye contact, only for a seconds though. His eyes met mine as quickly as he looked away. "All I ever wanted for you... was to be happy."

Oh, great. Now he was going to try and make me feel guilty. And, sadly, I knew he was going to be successful at it too.

"And people in airplanes could tell you weren't happy next to me." He stopped for a second to lick his lips, thus confirming my assumption that he was going to make me feel bad. All of a sudden he shrugged, and even threw his hands in the air a bit.

"I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry, sorry for thinking that I was doing the right thing by leaving. But..."

For the tenth time he paused, and shrugged again. "You know what they say. You never appreciate what you have until it's gone."

As he scanned me from head to toe and the other way around, I wasn't sure if that last part was for himself, or me. But by the sad look he had in his eyes, I figured it was meant for both of us.

"And if I could, I would... I'd..." He struggled with his words again, shaking his head lightly, even with a slight smile on his face, "God, I don't even know, I'd probably... walk through fire to have you again. Don't get me wrong, I did my best to try and replace you, but... that's the thing about you."

His eyes crinkled as he gave me a smile, "You're perfect for me."

If he hadn't sighed and looked at the ground, I would have probably ditched the idea of going to heaven and cheated on my fiancé. I'm not even kidding.

"I really..." Why couldn't he finish a sentence without stopping? Jesus, even my- "I really do hope that you're happy, though."

I hated how I was so goddamn tongue-tied in that moment; it was by far the thing I needed least. Nevertheless, I did nothing but stand with my mouth slightly opened, and just watched Louis as he walked away, backwards at first so we were looking at each other, but then he turned around and left the room.

"Are you hungry? Because I'm hungry." I didn't even have time to process what had just happened when I felt a pair of small hands on my arms, pushing me out of the staff room.

"Lorena? You alright babe?" I could distantly hear Maria's voice, even though she was pretty much in my face as we walked. "What was that with Louis? Did you two use to- hey, stop that!"

"Don't ask questions now!" Destiney hissed from my other side, "Just give her some space."

I felt her hand rub my back, mentally thanking her for not asking for an explanation as well. She told Maria to give me space; but even if they gave me the universe as space, I don't think it would be enough. Because, what happened in the staff room... I wasn't prepared for it. No one could ever get prepared to their ex boyfriend telling them they still love them when they're about to get married to another man.

And the worst thing is, as I watched him leave for the second time, I realized that the feeling just might be mutual.

*******

~A/N~

I just want to let you know that the next chapter is one of the most important ones here, and I want it to be perfect so I apologize if it takes me more than 4-5 days to update. and, of course, vote and comment :) love you xx