Chapter 10

~A/N~


No one will ever be as happy that I finished this chapter as I am. I promise you that. enjoy! xx


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"Ah, you know, I have a PTA meeting in an hour so-"


"Right, right," I clumsily cut my sister off, "I just made it home anyway. You can go, definitely. Say hi to Calvin from me."


"Alright, love," Vivienne smiled audibly on the other line, "We'll talk soon."


"Definitely, yeah, bye."


With my phone still in my hand, I pulled up in the parking lot just next to my building. I was in a fairly good mood, I got to talk to a member of my family after ages. And I was glad it was my favorite member.


When I stepped outside, I really wished I hadn't; it was freezing, snowing since I woke up and it was only the 25th of November. I could only imagine what the weather would be like on Christmas.


As I took my handbag out of the car and made sure I locked it, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Christmas; Christmas Eve, to be precise. I did plan to put up a Christmas tree and decorate every room in my apartment, but what was making me super excited was Louis' birthday. It wouldn't even be such a big deal to me if it wasn't his first one that we'd get to spend together.


For the past few days, he was about 70% of all the things I thought about. The other 30% were mostly Ashton and him leaving... but Louis was the majority so I wasn't worried. That much.


I was afraid, that my sudden need for Louis to be by my side nonstop, is because I was practically left at the altar. It couldn't be, I thought to myself as I climbed the stairs up to my apartment, I'm not that desperate. I may be a bit needy, but not desperate.


Besides, as soon as Ashton comes to get his stuff I think I'll have a clearer view on everything. So we'll just wait for that. I smiled at my thoughts as I tried unlocking the door, and then frowned; the key wasn't working. That could only mean one thing.


As I pushed the handle down and pushed the door open, my thoughts were confirmed; it was already unlocked.


I slowly stepped into my apartment, an entire train of thoughts was going through my head, did I leave it unlocked? Did someone break the doorknob? Was I getting robbed? Why did-


I got a mini-heart attack when I heard noise coming from my room, where the door was opened. I quickly grabbed the baseball bat that stood behind the coat hanger, and slowly made my way toward the room. My heart was beating in my ears at the thought of all the things I could see, but it ended up being pointless when I saw who was inside.


"Ashton?" I muttered, staring at his butt as he was bent over, most likely putting something on the ground. He jumped at my voice, causing me to jump as well and drop the bat, and almost fell over as he stood up straight.


"Lorena?" He asked back, moving his hair out of his eyes. "What are you doing here?"


"I could ask you the same thing?" I said, more confused than I'd been all morning.


"You should be at work."


"I only had the first two periods today."


Ashton blinked, and then started nodding all of a sudden. "Ah, that's right, it's Friday," He mumbled to himself, pressing his lips together in a dammit sort of manner.


I nodded too, "Yeah, so... what are you doing?" I asked, slowly walked further inside the room to see the answer myself.


"Packing all of my stuff, I... I have a flight to Los Angeles on Sunday."


With all that's been happening, I'd totally forgotten that he got a job in California. "Oh," Was all I had to say, as I looked around; it looked like he was done packing, the room looked so empty. None of his records, clothes or anything he'd brought into the apartment when he moved in was there. I would have probably felt better if he hadn't left some drawers opened, but this way, the room only felt emptier.


This is it. This is really, really it. I pressed my lips together as the thought crossed my mind. I couldn't let myself cry or even tear up. I knew it was supposed to happen and was perfectly fine with it, but I just didn't think I'd have to watch it happen. It's only been two weeks. It still hurt.


"Okay," I said, after almost a minute of silence, now standing opposite of Ashton, having the bed between us. I knew his eyes were on me, but I couldn't look up at him; I knew I would break down the minute I met his green eyes.


"Well, um... I should get going."


"Yeah, right," I said quickly, a complete contrast to his slow words. I was the first one to walk out of the room, and waited for him to get all of his bags in the hallway.


He had a backpack and two suitcases, so he didn't even need any help. I heard him open the door as I stared at the ground, and then surprised me as he put the two bags on the ground. I hesitantly looked up, and as I'd expected he was looking at me.


"Come here," Ashton said quietly, outstretching one of his arms. I didn't move at all.


"What? Why?"


"We're probably never gonna see each other again, I don't want to just walk out."


I slowly closed my eyes, feeling my heart sink to my toes at his words. I blindly pushed myself off the wall and wrapped my arms around his waist, as his went around my whole frame. We stood like that for a minute or so, not saying anything, just trying to say goodbye to each other the best and most rational way possible.


"I love you," He muttered against my hair, "Take care."


I only nodded and almost wanted to tell him not to let go of me as he pulled his arms away, but that's exactly what we had to in that moment; let go of each other.


"Have a safe flight," I said as he walked out, trying to smile at my words. And if he hadn't glanced over his shoulder, giving me one last smile, I would have let my emotions get the best of me.


I walked back in and slowly closed the door when Ashton was completely out of my sight. "Don't start crying, don't start crying," I kept repeating to myself as I ran both hands through my hair, feeling as if I'd burst into tears literally any moment now. If my phone hadn't gone off, I probably would have.


I quickly walked back in the hallway where I'd left my bag, and searched for it inside. The caller ID surprised me a bit; it was Louis.


"Hello?" I said as I pressed the green button, trying hard not to sound like I was just about to start a sobbing fit if he hadn't called.


"Hey, you home yet?" He said loudly, and I could hear lots of voices in the back. He was probably in a hallway.


"Yeah, what's up?"


"Well, I was thinking, could I see you today after work? I have a meeting tomorrow at noon and I probably won't be able to make it."


I slowly nodded, taking in all of what he'd told me. Tomorrow was supposed to be our first actual date, but since he couldn't make it... because of a meeting...


"Um, you know what, could you come over tonight?"


"Uh, sure," He said slowly, sounding a bit confused. "Why tonight though?"


"I have a doctor's appointment at two so I won't be home when you finish."


"Oh, alright, is everything okay?" I bit my lip at his question. The most honest answer was 'I don't know' but I didn't want to make him worried in the very beginning.


"Yeah, yeah, it's just, just a check-up." I nodded to myself, satisfied with my answer. "Should I make anything, or buy..?"


"Um, I'll buy something on my way and you can make something to eat. Nothing special, a sandwich is good too."


I chuckled at his words, "Okay. See you tonight then."


"Right, bye." I smiled for a short few seconds as we hung up. This day seemed like it would be a long one, even though it was barely 11 in the morning.


*******


"Coming!" I shouted from the kitchen, jogging toward the door after I was sure I wouldn't burn the food.


"Hey," I grinned as I opened the door, a very cold looking Louis standing outside. He was wearing a beanie and his cheeks were red from the icy weather; he looked adorable. Not a day over seventeen, even though he was 23.


"Hi," He breathed out, his lips forming a wide smile, and I could tell he was a little surprised when I wrapped my arms around his waist. Shivers ran down my spine as he put his extremely cold hand on my lower back and pulled me closer to him, my thin t-shirt not doing a very good job at keeping me warm.


"You're freezing! Come inside, I'm making tofu." I quite literally left him standing in the hallway as I fluttered back to the kitchen, satisfied when I noticed nothing had started to burn.


"Someone's in a good mood," Louis commented as I heard him walk in the living room himself, and could feel him stand just behind me, watching what I was doing.


"I bought myself an energy drink today after my appointment, I feel like Beyoncé." He laughed at my choice of words and I grinned at the pot in front of me.


"That's good to hear," He said as he backed away from me. "How was your appointment, by the way? Had fun at the doctor's office?"


I smiled at his words, "Yeah, it was a blast," I said sarcastically. "I had a few tests done and have to go back in a month to get my results."


"Anything I should be worried about?"


"No, I'm sure everything's fine."


"So why were you there?"


I let out a small sigh; it sounded like I wasn't the only one who's had an energy drink. "Weird... stomach ache."


"Stomach ache?" By the sound of his voice, I instantly knew what he was thinking about.


"No, Louis, I'm not pregnant."


I didn't even have to look at him in order to start laughing; the sigh of relief he let out was probably the biggest one of his life. "That's also good to hear... so you went to the gynecologist's?"


"Yes, and I really don't want to talk about it in the presence of food," I laughed.


"Right, right," Louis chuckled as well. "Um, I got you this."


I looked over my shoulder to see what he was showing me, and grinned again when I saw he was holding a bar of chocolate and Pepsi.


"At first I wanted to buy a box of chocolates and wine, but then I thought it would be too much..." I left the tofu on the stove again, so I could turn to him again and kiss his cheek.


"No, this is perfect. Thank you." I left the two articles on the table, and pushed my hair over my shoulder so I could finish making our meal for the night.


"That smells amazing," Louis muttered as he came beside me, "Where do you keep your glasses?"


"The last shelf." I pointed to the furthest shelf on the right with my head, and he took two tall glasses out of it, carrying them to the table. I could hear him opening the bottle of soda, just as I was sure the tofu was done.


"Hey, could you put the mat on the table?" I asked as I put on two oven gloves so I wouldn't burn myself while carrying the pot to the table. "Louis?" I was too busy watching the melted cheese to pay attention to what he was doing, but I could see he was just standing from the corner of my eye.


"Louis?" I looked up at him when I was sure I wouldn't get injured, and became a little confused as I took in the sight in front of me. He was literally just standing there, holding the bottle of Pepsi as he stared at something. I was about to call his name for the third time, when he suddenly turned his head to me.


"You kept it." Was all he said.


"What are you talking about?" I asked slowly, and he went back to looking at whatever the hell he was watching before. He set the bottle on the table, and walked over to the showcase to get something off the top of it. And I could feel my heart skip a beat as he took it down.


"You kept it," He repeated, holding the small, white teddy bear he'd bought me two years before, a few days after I found out about the dare. I couldn't see it from where I was standing, so I was quite shocked when I saw it in his hands.


"Um... yeah..." I said slowly, kind of uneasily even, as all of the effect that energy drink had on me quickly faded away. I could feel the heat of the pot underneath my gloves, but even so, my hands became icy cold, as well as my feet, and even my brain.


"Right," Louis muttered, placing the teddy next to the bottle as he quickly walked to the worktable to get the pot mat I asked for earlier. He put it on the middle of the table and I placed the pot over it, feeling the tension increase as we were left with nothing to do. It suddenly became so thick between us.


I slowly turned away to get the bread I'd also prepared, and by the time I was facing him again, he was already sitting down, looking at what I'd made. Even though the atmosphere had gotten considerably more awkward, I had to bite back a smile at how cute he looked. I can't even say hot. He was simply cute.


"Hey," He said when I started pulling a chair toward me so I'd sit next to him, "Come here."


His request was odd, so I just gave him a weird look. Louis let out a small sigh as I did nothing, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.


"What are you..." I trailed off when he pulled me down all the way, so I was sitting in his lap.


"There we go," He said through a satisfied sigh, "I can see you better this way anyway."


I raised my eyebrows at him, but still had to agree with him; sitting sideways on his lap was much better than having to turn my head every two seconds to look at him if I'd sat on the empty chair.


Louis took one of the two forks I'd brought along with the bread, and put a piece of it on the tine. He dipped it into the cheese before bringing it to my mouth, and I let out a short breathy laugh as I realized what he was doing.


"Mm," I mumbled as I chewed on my specialty, "This is amazing, you have to try it." Louis laughed as I copied him, and nodded as he chewed on his bite, agreeing with my earlier statement.


"It's good, right?" I asked, my pride almost contagious.


"Right." I frowned a bit at how distant that word of his sounded, and when I looked at him, I immediately knew what the reason for that was; he was staring at the bear again.


"So," He started as he picked it up again, and I knew we were going nowhere until we were done talking about the teddy bear. "Why did you keep it? I mean, I thought you fucking hated me."


I knew the reason he said it like that was to make the situation as comfortable as possible, so I chuckled, wanting the same. "I didn't hate you. I never hated you." My words were the complete opposite though. I looked into his eyes, and felt my face forming a sad look as I cautiously put a hand on his cheek. "I could never hate you."


I could tell he was speechless due to the drastic change of mood between us. "I was... God, I was so... miserable when you left. I knew, as soon as you got on that train that I'd made a mistake, but I just... couldn't bring myself to do anything about it."


"You could have called that night," Louis breathed out. "I would have taken you back in a heartbeat."


My eyes searched his, to see if there was any sign of insincerity in his words. I found none of it. "Really? Because that text-"


"That was," He cut me off, shaking his head, "That was a moment of anger, one moment of bitterness. I wanted to fling myself out that train as soon as I hit send."


I breathed out a laugh, as he chuckled, and then we just started laughing at our own stupidities. All this time, I thought he hated me and vice versa, when it turned out, we were both half alive without the other.


"We were both chicken, weren't we?" Louis said through a chuckle.


"Yeah... God, yes," I almost groaned as I reminisced, making him laugh harder. "Caitlyn had to come back from Cardiff when she found out. She even set me up on blind dates, I swear, that was the worst of it all."


By now, I was sure he would pass out from laughing. "Let me guess," He said when he'd calmed down a little, "Ashton was one of them."


"No," I immediately said, surprising him a little. "I met him on my own, he came up to me in a bar one night. To be honest, he was only supposed to be my rebound guy."


Louis raised his eyebrows at me, a small smile still playing on his lips, "Really?" He said slowly, and I nodded.


"If he hadn't called me five gazillion times every time after we went out, I would have been done with him after two dates."


He nodded, pressing his lips together and when he released them, there was no sign of a smile on them. He just quietly stared at the food in front of him, his mood completely opposite of the one he was in just a few minutes before.


"You okay?" I muttered, boldly lowering my head down so my face was in level with his.


"I just..." He shook his head lightly, his lips forming kind of a bitter smile, "If this works... I don't want you and I to end up the way you and Ashton did," He said quietly, finally voicing his fears, as well as mine.


"Louis," I breathed out, but he just closed his eyes, seemingly embarrassed since my tone was a bit pitiful. He turned his head away from me, but I caught his left cheek with my hand, forcing him to face me again.


"I promise you," I started, causing him to finally open his eyes. He let them travel between my eyes and lips for a few seconds, before resting them solely on my lips. "If you give us another chance, I will never let you go."


I knew 'never' sounded a bit unrealistic, but at that very moment it felt like the perfect thing to say. Louis must have been thinking the same, since his next move was closing the gap between our faces.


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~A/N~


I am FINALLY on winter break so the next chapter won't take long, promise. vote and comment until I post it? :) xxxx

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