My favourite moment throughout the day was lunch.
Not because I got to eat.

But because I got to eat with you.

Was it your favourite, too?

I've never eaten my meals with a smile before, only with you.

The bites of my once tasteless food became savoury every time you breathed around me.

The dry and chalky texture became rather soft and delicate every word you uttered.

The aftertaste got tastier. The more I heard, you laughed.

The crinkle of your eyes and the jokes you uttered made the burnt edged of my meals taste better.

The bland sips of water became enjoyable when you uttered my name lovingly.

You made eating something I loved to do, and for a moment, I wasn't someone pathetic - someone who suffered from eating disorders.

My food wasn't despicable, my water wasn't irritable.

For once in my shitty life, I enjoyed eating with someone.

I enjoyed laughing and joking along with you.

I was never the type to talk during meals.

I enjoyed the moment.

I was never the type to feel exactly where I was.

You made my sad excuse for a lunch something worth eating and enjoying. For the first time, I felt it was safe to take my pace. It was safe to stay at the table. It was okay to eat.

Now I eat my lunch alone, yet unlike before, I'm trying to learn to be alright without you.

I won't throw up after meals, I won't cry after eating too much.

I'm learning how to enjoy the taste even if it wasn't as savoury as with you.

I miss eating lunch with you.