Abruptly.

That was how I ended so many things.

Abruptly.

All my life, I was taught to be that way.

I transferred abruptly,

They separated abruptly,

I rid of friends abruptly.

My life ended abruptly.

I was never taught to say goodbye.

I was taught that if I said it, I'd lose it all.

They never told me I'd lose it all either way.

The adults around me often ran and ran, 

they ran and lived and solved and breathed.

I thought if I did it, I'd solve mine too.

But just like them, I destroyed myself inadvertently.

I barely knew how to do things.

At best, I knew how to ruin.

How to break, how to carve.

I carved myself into people's worlds,

and left abruptly.

But the sudden removal caught onto their soul,

now I carry the memories with me.

Once in a while, I liked to reminisce.

In my sleep, in past messages, in photos, in how I did things.

I liked to go to places I was once in.

I learned I'm not fit for abrupt changes,

I'm not made to leave and fly.

I'm meant for closures and long-lasting highs

I'm fit to keep everything and make something out of it.

Back then I hid and never did things properly.

Today I've grown to talk, express, and show myself fully.

Even if it has been years, months, or merely a phase.

I can now speak my words without the cowardly haze.

I'll keep my words, my actions, my place.

I'll keep it till I run out of days.