Chapter Thirty

Many thoughts go through your head. Many. Many good ones, many bad ones. The bad cloud faster stronger, thunder overpowering sprinkles of rain. The fear felt as a child amongst pillows facing dark skies, now hits you when staring to his eyes. When Taehyung says, "Hi," all comfort disappears.

"Why're you here?" Your eyes no longer look at his.

The man doesn't speak. He tries to catch your gaze, in a continuing loop. Glancing at your coloured lips and blackened lashes, the man asks, "May I come in?" with the brightest smile he can muster.

It falls short. You shake your head. "Wha..." your hair flips off your shoulder, your head tilts, and you blink up at him with masked vulnerability. "Whatever you wish to say can be said in the hall. I need to lock up soon, I have someone to see."

Someone to see...Taehyung blinks at your jumpsuit, your shiny shoulders, your hair, your heels, and back to the first; lips and eyes. Your eyes. He stares long and sees the discomfort cross features as a shift propels below your feet. Heels clank.

"A date?" he asks, voice blurry.

"What do you need?"

"I wanted to talk..." Taehyung sighs, "If you had time, but I guess, I guess you don't."

"I don't."

"I'll uh," the boy smiles sad, "I'll just come by later maybe? When you're done with your...date." His tone darkens with the last word, hollowing out his clogged throat by swallowing harsh.

"I don't want you to come back." His eyes dart to yours that fall quickly. It's like you try to be brave, strong, and hard-headed. Preparing yourself from halting a falter, you ease into looking up again. "...I told you before. I don't want to hear from you anymore."

Taehyung stares. "I gave you that. I gave you that time thinking you were right," he stands straight in his spot now, "...that I'm no good for you. But I can't. I can't end things the way they did."

"Well you did, you ended it."

His lips twitch. Taehyung drifts in pain when you move away from the door. There's hope that collects in him to think, maybe you allow him in because of the willing words that leave you both. No, not the case. You turn your back to him and walk to the table to grab your phone. How your shoulders sulk next show the man how eager you are to find an excuse to leave.

"He not here yet?" Taehyung closes the door behind him, hands shuffling in jean pockets as he walks closer to the couch.

You don't reply.

The boy stares at the skin of your back. His eyes travel down your hips, ass, and legs. Then gazes scoot back to your head, never going down again. "You look beautiful," he breathes, to which you reply with disbelief.

You face him. Expression reading the urgency you feel. Done. Your heart races and you don't like it. "We can't do this, you can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Say these things as if it's okay for you to do so!" Your voice cracks near the end, head starting to pound in equivalence to heart.

"I'm sorry."

"That's all you always say."

His heart breaks, hands relaxed within the holds of his jeans. "I mean it when I say it," he whispers. When you blink back tears and shake your head, the atmosphere behind eye-contact no longer met sets him off. "I do, I mean it every time I say it. Believe me."

"Taehyung," your eyes sting, mind rings. There is a lot of strength that goes into your words next, "I can't do this right now. I really can't, I'm leaving as soon as he com—"

"What's his name?" Taehyung searches your eyes from the distance he keeps.

You twitch by the table. He stands still by your couch.

"Why does it matter?" you say.

Taehyung smiles but doesn't mean it. "You seemed happy when you answered the door," he gulps, he gulps hard in attempts to stop tears. "...I want to know who he is. If he brings a smile to your face that's all I care about."

Your watery eyes roll. Body language starting to become more and more distant. Taehyung's jaw flexes when noticing the change. He says, "You don't believe me when I say that?"

"I don't believe a lot of what you say anymore."

Taehyung's sight narrows. He steps forward and feels the heat in his head warm up his body. He doesn't shake this time. The anxiety attacks in forms of anger, hurt, and inability to just scream out his wants. "Including the bit where I say I care about you?" he asks.

"Especially that bit." Your eyes, although they water and hurt, block out warmth from coldness they seep.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" you ask, matching jaw muscles with his tenseness. "Speak truth?"

"You don't," Taehyung grumbles under his breath, fighting back a frustrating groan, "You don't know my truth or why I hi—"

"I don't care anymore!" Voices waver and reach octaves because you're about to explode. Tears are close to swallowing face, hearts ready to shatter on and on. "I don't-t," you don't fight your whine, "I don't give a fucking shit about your truth anymore. You said it loud and clear when you walked away leaving me behind."

Taehyung's anger shifts. Moods swinging with his chest that fears to have his heart dance out. He steps close to you and you move back, tears daring to fall. "N-No, you have no right to come back. I threw myself at you and you walked away without giving me an answer! If I wasn't worth your time then, you're not worth my time now!"

"You are worth my time," Taehyung panics, head frantic with nods. "Y-ou were worth it then and you're worth it now!"

"What? As friends?" You scream. "That bullshit excuse of a relationship so what? You can lead me on some more?"

Tears fall and extend. Taehyung's heart carries in different weights, his mind moving from thought to thought fast. "N-No, I wasn't—I didn't mean—"

"I kissed you. I kissed you and asked you what you wanted. But you couldn't even give me the closure I asked for without being a selfish prick. Now I'm doing the same," you point to your door. "Leave!"

Taehyung finds it hard for his voice to overpower yours. You shut your eyes, stain your cheeks, and blacken under-eyes with mascara that starts to run. "Leave," you repeatedly shout, "Go!"

He's a monster in your closet on the days it thunders. You tell him to leave but he stays, moving closer.

"I'M NOT WALKING AWAY AGAIN!" The deep voice shakes the ground you're on. Eyes catching his exhausted ones, you scream back the same from before.

"No," Taehyung says, tears wiggling by the ends of his jaw. The water fails to decide when it'll fall to hit the ground, roll onto his neck, or stain his tee.

"I want you to!" You whimper.

He shakes his head. How his heart reacts is seen in his expression. "No you don't, don't say that. No you don't."

"I have to go. I have someone else." There's a failure to collect your sanity, dignity, and composure. Even when you try to move from place, your feet stay put and screams formulate again.

Both yelling from fear.

Taehyung charges his mind with the four times. The four times he made a fool out of you. The last aching and tearing him. He thinks of the kiss, the feeling in his gut stomach heart. He thinks of your words, your truth. A truth he never could reciprocate.

Now, staring at your angry eyes that read him well. He knows you're aware of why he's here. He knows you know. Taehyung also sees the want for him to admit it. Admit his feelings, admit his hidings, admit his truth...you want him to make a fool of himself, so he does.

A first. A first time. "You shouldn't be with him!" Chest heaves.

"Then who should I be with?" You ask, desperate. She knows. She knows. She wants. She wants you. Just say it, say it, say it, say it. Taehyung's eyes soften, his back straightens, and the water at his eyes summons.

A second. A second time. With a soft breath and a painful smile, he says, "Me. You should be with me."

Taehyung breathily chuckles. He openly cries, weak and exposed. You stare, dumfounded with shoulders that fall off their high-horse. He doesn't shake.  No shakes the entire time, anxiety stayed, a quiet killer carving each stroke of it's knife between the caves of his ribs. Painful. Taehyung releases his first breath of held air.

A third. A third time. "I love you," he says, heart in the open.

You blink.

A fourth. A fourth time. Taehyung smiles large, feet skipping over for a rush past the couch that stands in his way. He trips over a cushion, kicks it far, and holds his frame strong. He walks, hands out to cup your wet cheeks. As he does, your gentle eyes show a wave of welcome for him to take. To take you.

"I'm in love with you, you hear me?" he breathes into your face, forehead testing yours.

Your next blink closes your eyes.

Taehyung's mouth sloppily captures yours.

Lips tremble, a needed whine for desire purrs out your throat as hands climb to hold his cheeks tight. Desperate. You taste the salt on his lips, mouth parted for his tongue to soak the roof of your mouth. He pokes the tip of your taste-buds that halt back, tongue flapped in a war against his, knees buckle close for a melt. "Mmm," you whimper, lips wet from his harsh handle, teeth clashing. New tears of yours now invade his gums.

Taehyung breathes. He breathes against your lips in content sighs. Relax. A relaxed desperation takes his hunger. His hunger for your mouth, your taste, your body so tight against his. The man's arms wrap around you, no longer hesitant. His fingers dig into your hip, making you whine, helping your stomach feel the bulging growth hidden under jeans. There's heat on his cheeks, at his ears, and between his legs. Taehyung tastes your tears and only kisses deeper, doing what he deprived himself of earlier, memorizing each corner of your mouth for his. His and only his.

You squirm back. He follows you, holding you against him no matter how troubling hands push his chest. Fingers clasp his shirt, rubbing above his heart to feel the strong muscles of his chest. The man's arms are hard while fingers explore him and his body. Slapping Taehyung's back, nails dig and hold when he pushes your ass into the table behind. A screech leaves the wood while a moan leaves you. You fight his tongue again, wanting to beat him at a game you lose in.

Taehyung's hand grasps your neck. He tightens and squeezes, your open mouth pity in his fingers when you gasp. His thumb pokes your bottom lip and he watches you tremble in want for him again. Mouths off, he breathes like an animal at your cheek, snapping your neck for him to devour. The grip has you hot. Gaze flickers to the ceiling once his tongue swerves, now marking below an ear. "Mmhm," you moan, to which he hums, "Hmm."

When his lips glue close to your breasts, your fingers pull his dark hair. Face-to-face, he smirks by your uncontrolled neediness. You kiss his mouth. Wide, wet, sloppy and fast. Arms hug his shoulders, hands trickle his locks. Your toes feel all weight while his body takes on the rest. He lifts you the most he can and reciprocates what you want. You hint it, he gets it.

Taehyung picks you up, you gasp. His nose roughly bashes against yours while kneeling to hold your thighs. Chest drags, mouths urge, you sigh when you're on the table with legs forced for a wrap around his thighs. Your underwear, warm and shy, feels Taehyung's rough jeans jabbing juices with every grind he commits.

Your hands fall from his hair, away from his chest, away from the muscles of his arms. Warm against his flushed lips, the redness of his mouth doesn't compare to his heated ears. You gaze to your jumpsuit and catch the string-bow that holds your chest together. You tug. Tug, undo, tug, and Taehyung pecks pecks pecks, then stops to watch you untie the rest. The man licks your cleavage, pokes his tongue between your breasts and groans horny, burying his face between before you can catch a sigh.

You lay yourself down onto the table.

Taehyung's leg kicks a chair while climbing to hover over you. It hits the floor, hard and loud.

You cup his cheeks, hold his lips captive.

The man slows down. Gentle, sweet, light. When a slow flicker of your lips aches for him to see, his thumb is back on your mouth, holding, poking, and grazing your lips before leaning deeper between the shield of your thighs. When you feel him, his jabbing jeans again, your eyes jump to his. Conversations with just stares, the table rocks unstable below each other's weight.

It's the first you see him after his confession. The first you see him as desire runs content. He kisses you and your eyes find a half parting, opening the minute his chin lifts away against yours.

"I love you, I really do," Taehyung easily says, eyes scared when seeing you. He looks at the table, he looks at the ground, then he looks back to you. It's clear this all hits him now—the same for you.

One hand moves to find yours. He holds you. He holds your hesitant hand that drifts away from hugging his back. "Believe me..." Taehyung sweetly whispers, moving lips to kiss each finger he now possesses. "Please."

When he stares into your eyes and patiently waits for an answer, your lips part for words.

"I—"

The door bell rings.

Horror. Horror crosses your face while Taehyung remains calm. You blink, and blink again. Again and again. You gasp. Everything, Taehyung, this moment, this table, and your soaking underwear—all hit fast. "Jason," you say into the man's face.

Taehyung's brows furrow. Jason?

He climbs off you as you push his chest. Hands hugging your breasts that show more of your nakedness than anything else, you quickly tie, hop for the ground and fix your hair. Tears spring to your face while turning your back to the man. The same man that now stares with sad eyes.

It's hard for you, so you don't look at him. "I...I need you to leave."

Taehyung stares. "You're going to go with him?"

Tears cloud. Lips purse tight. You're the one that shakes. "P-Please just go?"

His eyes soften when hearing you beg. Taehyung wishes to spin you around and embrace you, but his hands do an awkward dance in the air before a doorbell echoes into the space instead. You jump. He watches how scared you get and his heart breaks. "You don't have to go with him...you don't owe him anything."

"Taehyung," you beg. You hate how much you want to turn and kiss him again.

"Are you still mad?"

"N-No."

"Then what is it? Tell me what's wrong?"

"I just, I need a second to figure out what happened," then your voice is the softest as you say, "Please?"

"Sure, yeah sure."

"I uh," you sniffle, moving to grab your purse and some tissues. Taehyung watches you rush around in an overwhelmed state while finishing, "I...I have a date...excuse me."

When you leave for the door, clearly crying and upset, Taehyung remains quiet. He makes sure he isn't seen when a man's chuckle falls for worry in the hallway. "Hey! What took so lo—...wait, why're you crying? What's wrong?" You explain him a lie and Taehyung hears none, the door closes; all muffled.

Staring around the space, he sees the couch cushion kicked to the balcony doors, the chair still on the ground by his feet, and a few papers fallen beside it. Awkwardly touching at his boner over his jeans, the boy walks in discomfort. Taehyung cleans the place.

A fool in love, once done, he writes you a note and leaves it. Heart poured, words whole, Taehyung's hesitant fingers touch the surface of the table, whistling to air. His gaze explores the apartment, heads for the door, and leaves. He locks the door, knowing where you hide the spare. In the hallway, in the elevator, past the security that nod at him, Taehyung enters the evening ahead with a wrinkled top and fluffy hair tossed messy.

Sadness leaves. He rubs his neck, a shyness cute on his expression while visiting the setting sun.

Taehyung smiles to himself.

***

You can't smile to yourself, even when forced.

Earlier, Jason took you out for a movie, for dinner, for ice-cream. Midst all, you were somewhere else. When Jason smiled next to you in the theater, your mind thought of a box smile. Dinner, the boy held your hand when you drifted off causing a startle. You wished to be across another, hand letting his go. When Jason ate ice-cream off your spoon, trying to be cute, you pictured pancakes and different lips. Elsewhere.

I'll never be present with him...not after what happened...Guilt eats your insides now. You walk alongside the boy, catching up to his joyful strides. Jason smiles down at you when seeing your stare. When he looks, you don't look away. Instead, you say, "Can we go back to your car?"

"That's where we're heading," he chuckles, eyes narrowing when you snap over to catch vision of the last intersection crossed for public parking. It's as if you notice where you are now, embarrassed from questioning in the first place. "Everything okay?" he asks, "You've, you've been acting weird the entire night."

You miss the fear on his tongue. Instead, you shake your head, force a chuckle. Like your smile: unsure. "Yeah, I um," your mind plays tricks, having your lips taste like Taehyung when you lick them. "I'm just tired. The crying from earlier really drained me."

Jason smiles gentle. "You expect me to believe you got that scared of a spider?"

Your eyes shoot up. He smiles at your surprise-filled gaze before clicking the keys of his car. He jogs, visibly slowing you down before ruffling around with his phone in the driver's seat. Your confusion takes anew when Jason's car hums quiet tunes through the car speakers. He rolls the windows down, closes the doors, and scoots for a climb over the hood of the car.

You freeze. You stare at him, you stare at the hood of the car, then the sky he points to. It's easy to say no. Jason tries again, laughing over your hesitancy. "I promise I won't try anything," he says, charming grin taking over the night that blazes across the moon-light.

"I um—" this feels wrong, "—I don't like sitting on car hoods." You think about Taehyung. Taehyung and you, on the hood of a car, kissing or eating noodles after a study date. You think of stars and stares shared those nights. I can't do this.

The boy chuckles. He holds your arm while moving back. You follow his drag, feeling his hand move down your arm to your hand so kind. Jason sits. Fingers trail down your free arm. Blinking to see both hands being played with, Jason whispers sweet phrases about your softness before boldly moving your fingers to his mouth. He kisses one hand while lingering on the other.

One hand moves to find yours. He holds you. He holds your hesitant hand that drifts away from hugging his back. "Believe me..." Taehyung sweetly whispers, moving lips to kiss each finger he now possesses. "Please." You blink.

"Will you sit down with me?" The boy grins, hunches over and leans his face close to your awestruck one. "Tell me what's really going on."

"I can do the same while standing," you try.

"Really scared of car hoods, huh? That's a specific fear."

You nod cautious.

"I'm assuming you're scared of spiders more?" Jason's eyes narrow. "You know...since they made you cry like that?"

Throat tightens. You stare at his eyes and see how hard he searches. Feeling sweat start to pile the more he holds your fingers, you pull hands away.

"Talk to me." No smile, no amusement. Just tenderness.

His genuine aura captures you. The guilt hammers and you know what is right. "I can't date you—" you blurt, to which the boy's brows jump. You panic, "—n-not that—I mean, I'll go to the dance with you because I said yes and will stay loyal to that but—this, what we're doing here...I can't. I'm so sorry Jason."

The boy blinks. Unfazed, he nods once registering your ramble. Then he smiles, light and nice and you wonder if he heard your rejection right. "I don't understand, why aren't you mad?" 

Jason chuckles. "No reason for me to be mad."

Your brain runs in a frenzy.

"Is it Taehyung?"

Your brows are the ones that jump now.

Jason's smile falls, known. When he nods, there is a glint of guilt that rages across his expression. His face ducks, hands meet for a rub on tired skin. "What is it?" you ask. He says, "If you're being honest, I owe you the same."

"What're you talking about?"

He smiles for reasons you don't comprehend while whispering, "You're a beautiful girl...a sweet one—a little too sweet sometimes..." He's lost in a thought while ogling. "I can't go on knowing I'm making a huge mistake by possibly hurting you in the process."

A step is taken back from him. "What?"

"I can't continue to fight Taehyung's chances knowing it's a lost cause."

Your misperception remains.

Jason Kellio swallows hard, locks up his dimples for rest, and speaks the truth. "I'm one of Oki's friends," he says, knowing your mind works pieces together once expressions fall in anger. "I'm sorry."

***

"You're not sorry," you snap, wishing to rip the hair out of your scalp.

Oki stands across from your pacing body. In the middle of his bedroom, you remain barging his space with scolds. Surprised at first, Oki's aware and expressionless now. "I am," he sighs. You glare when he does and the boy smiles, just a little.

"You think this is funny?" You screech, freezing the stomps made from your feet.

"A little. I can't believe he ratted me out," Oki shakes his head, mumbles Jason's last name in distaste and turns to face his bed. With no shame, the boy starts to pull his shirt off. Torso naked, your cheeks flash with heat from the anger that shoots up your spine. "OKI!" you yell, awkwardly slapping his shoulder blade with a flat palm.

"Ow!" he pipes, picking up his tank laid out earlier. He pulls his arms through, then head, and stares into your distressed eyes once clothed again. "We aren't together anymore missy, hands off the merchandise." The boy flips a switch and smirks again.

Your teeth are about to grit out of your mouth. "Oki. I'm about to snap." He sighs, rolling his eyes, "Okay okay, I realize I didn't make the best decisions."

"Best decisions?" you squeak, "You've been out to ruin my love-life so what? I'll surprisingly get back together with you? I'm not stupid."

"I didn't do what I did so you'd get back with me." The boy sighs while sitting down on the foot of his bed. "I knew from our car ride together that I lost my shot...just got insecure and thought to have you off limits for others, that's all."

"Others like Taehyung?"

"Especially him." No more amusement trails his expression while staring up at you. He holds a stern look before softness intrudes and he apologizes again. "Look, I'm sorry okay?"

"Sorry won't cut it Oki. Whatever was between us is done. You ended it. Now live with the consequences and leave me out of the process...I shouldn't suffer because you're feeling insecure."

The boy takes a moment. His eyes stare over your body, the entirety. You don't feel uncomfortable knowing he doesn't think sexual thoughts; his eyes: sad, the parting of his lips: nostalgic. "We're over," you breathe, saying it softer instead of screaming—hoping the fact will stick in his head.

"I'm sorry for invading Taehyung's chances. I got...jealous." The boy rubs his face, then strokes his hair back.

You finally breathe. This apology, a genuine one from the boy.

"Promise me you'll stay out of my way."

"Can't we like, I don't know, be friends?"

"Fuck no." You chuckle.

Oki tries not to smile. "Know that I miss you," he sighs, pokes out his pinky.

"Good," you say, lacing your pinky in a twist with his. "There's a cynical side to me that enjoys your regret for losing me." A fake smile spreads to your lips.

Oki smiles back, enjoying the harshness.

Pinkies tight. "I promise I won't come between you and your love life."

"And?"

The boy rolls his eyes. "I promise I won't be rude to Jason for doing the right thing."

"Good boy."

Oki wiggles his brows, trying to tug your hand to his sitting-self. "I could show you a side that isn't so good," he flirts.

"I've already seen the bad side bitch, we broke up because of it." He doesn't like it when you pat his head while leaving.

"You ain't funny!"

You close his door. "I'm hilarious!"

"You sure are," a voice pops, watching your back halt when rushing to the end of the hall for exit. "I found myself rolling, I almost choked."

You turn, so close to the building's door. When your eyes meet Ella who sits on a beanbag with her laptop on her thighs, you catch her naked in a robe, hair twisted with a towel, and a cereal bowl balanced on her chest. A mouthful makes you smile, staring at her screen of cartoons this time of night.

"You came in angry and leave relaxed? Never thought I'd see the day." The woman goes back to munching.

"I'm still horrified," you say.

"What did Oki do this time?"

Gulp. "He—" The woman laughs, interrupting you. "Just kidding," she snorts, "I heard everything by pausing Mickey. I knew I found that Jason boy familiar—the minute he hugged you I recognized his ass."

"Ella?"

"Hm?" The woman shoots away from her ramble, spoon half-way past her parted lips.

"You're spilling milk onto your robe."

Ella swears.

***

You swear, unable to stop.

Taehyung's written note in your hand; ready to confront him.

First, you made a trip to Jin and Hoseok's apartment. Met with Jin, you smiled and greeted breathlessly. Butterflies were met in your stomach, thinking you'd meet Taehyung here only to be scared by Hoseok with a woman and Jin on a date with another. You barely caught sight of both women, waving an embarrassed goodbye when Jin said, "He's bunking with his brother until he gets his own place." Your hearty-self ran fast.

Now, infront of a new building, new door, and new bell. You ring. A text sent from Jin with the directions to Namjoon's place stay hidden from your phone's screen. In a twist, your gut pulses with every footstep and low holler. When a tall figure yanks the door, your breath is caught then released. It's just Namjoon, it isn't him, it's Namjoon. You relax, fingers playing nervously under your chest when staring eye-to-eye with Taehyung's older brother.

His brows jump. "Hey," he says, lovely smile slowly grazing his lips. You blush, knowing there is an inner-motive to his smile. The older brother knows of Taehyung's feelings and he gushes like a parent meeting a son's girlfriend already. "What's up? Would you like some dinner?"

"Eh, we only got left-overs, who is it?" A voice from behind Namjoon catches your attention before your painted lips can move. Min Yoongi. The man plays video games as both, Namjoon and you glance over. He continues to play, uninterested even when you speak.

"N-No, I've ate."

Namjoon's eyes are kind. "Is there something I can help you with? Taehyung's not here right now."

Some panic strides in your heart. You beg yourself to refrain from making assumptions, having done so well with the battle so far. "Where...where is he? Do you know?"

Namjoon nods casual. "Yeah," he breathes, leaning into the door's side. "He came around earlier and mentioned something about going for a stroll by the lake."

Eyes jolt. "What? What lake?"

"The one behind the forest we've got by our building. It's beautiful down there." The man brightens and points your direction. "You should have him take you there once, I'm sure he'll love that."

You don't notice the similarities between the brothers and wanting to help with love. Instead, your head runs in a spiral and you ask, "How, how uh, how long has he been gone for?"

Namjoon's smile falters somewhat. He glances over his shoulder and checks on Yoongi who continues to pinch into the controller in his hands, a silent maniac who loses. "Yo, when did Taehyung leave again?"

Yoongi curses and asks "Huh?" and "What?" twice before Namjoon becomes stern with his question on repeat. The assumptions bubble and sizzle within you when seeing the tenseness creep into a worry for Namjoon's state as well. I guess I'm not the only one that's assuming the worst right now.

"Fu—shit—Huh? Oh. I don't know, about an hour ago?"

Namjoon's eyes meet your horror-shifting ones.

"And he hasn't been back yet?" The worry is heard in your voice.

The older brother swallows hard. "Did something happen between you two? Why do you look scared?"

"I don't..." You find words to mask just how fidgety you get. "A lot happened. I left him alone after he confessed to me...I...I left him alone. I panicked, and I-I don't know if he took it well? He left me a note saying his feelings again a-and I've been searching for him since—"

"Fuck." Namjoon's eyes successfully match yours.

Terror.

"Fuck," you say back, eyes wide.

Assumptions validated.

You run first.
Namjoon runs right after, following loud heels.

***

"Taehyung?!"

"Bro!"

Body wet from water he dipped into earlier, Taehyung laid on the grass. Mud stuck to his elbows that dug into the dirt every time he lifted free of weight. Frame mannered in ways to show him washed up on shore, the boy's toes still tickled the shallow-end of the water. He had his anxiety attack. No panic attacks. There's always a difference and there was tonight. Taehyung had undressed himself and dove in, swimming until his muscles traced sore. He felt light, bright, and less tormented than most days. Today was a good day. Today was a productive day. He accomplished a lot even though the reactions he'd hoped for didn't suffice. Taehyung laid proud of himself, in a numb honour, with body wet from water he dipped into earlier.

One: "Taehyung! You out here? Can you hear us?"

The man's brows knit now. Namjoon?

Two: "Taehyung? Taehyung, please answer!"

Taehyung's eyes flicker open. He hears your worried voice and doesn't understand the concern.

When he turns his head on the grass, his cheek gets a tickle. Eyes squint, body shivers, and droplets of water still fall from goosebumps that form on skin. The boy watches for the calls and sits up...

"I'm right here!" He yells out, unaware of the surprise that'll take him next.