"Harry, are you paying attention?"

"Huh?" I turn my head to Louis. He heaves a breath and stares into my eyes. "You were just at his house the other day, Niall is fine, stop thinking about him and pay attention to the book. I was really excited to read this to you." I could feel Louis frustration, and I begin to feel bad. "Okay, I'm sorry. Its like you and Eleanor, I want to be with him everyday."

"There is NO me and Eleanor." Louis' hands drop in his lap. "Oh, sorry." I look up to him and he blinks. "Its alright." Theres a pause of silence for the air to thin out. "Should I read the first chapter again?" Lou breaks it. I nod my head, and he flips multiple pages.

"This is how it all begins." Louis starts. "WIth Zephyr and Fry---reigning neighborhood sociopaths---torpedoing after me and the whole forest floor shaking under my feet as I blast through air, trees, this white-hot panic."

The chapter was quite long, twenty-three pages long and its going to take a long time to read it all. We're only halfway through, and we both agreed on taking a break. "What happened with Eleanor?" I cautiously bring up. Louis sticks a grape in his mouth before answering. "SHe was busy. I'm busy. We don't have time for love." He shrugs. "You're not busy." I shake my head. He looks at me and scowls. "So."

"So, that's not why." Louis sighs and eats another grape. "I don't know. I think she found someone better but, I'm not sure. She cut it off. ...Maybe I'm just not meant for love." Louis mumble the last part to himself, but I still heard. "I'm sorry, Lou." Louis shrugs again and tips his head, rolling a grape in between two fingers. "It's,..." Louis exhales. "It's whatever."

There's another one of those pauses, and Louis breaks it again. "What about Niall? He love you yet?" I shake my head while chewing a purple grape. "I wish people wouldn't suck." Louis drops his head against the wall and tilts his head just enough so he could look out the window. I agree with him, but I didn't verbalize it because I don't think Niall sucks.

"Did it feel weird when you kissed him? You know, with his oxygen tubes.." Louis makes a motion over his nose and mouth. I shake my head. "It didn't really get in the way." Louis nods and drags his bag of green grapes over to his side. "I also wish life didn't have any downs." He sighs. "I do." We look at each other; Louis with a confused look and me with a concentrated look. "I do. How would we know what joy or, happiness or that butterfly effect in your stomach if we didn't experience feelings like disappointment and want and....and sadness?" Even though I was staring at the floor and folded my hands, I could feel Louis' stare. "Should we finish the chapter?" Lou picks the book up and waits for my agreeance. I nod my head and lay back down on my back, and put one more grape in my mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crying is what I was doing while sitting in Nialls bedroom, per usual, but this time I wasn't crying because of Niall. I was crying because Mum had called me and told me that gram had died last night. She called me when I got to his house, and an hour later its just hit me.

Niall looks over at me and away from the telly screen, and he asks, "Harold, are you okay?" I didn't respond physically or by words. I sat up and revealed by tear streaked cheeks and my red eyes, and my blotchy skin and puffy lips and red nose. "Why?" Niall asks, giving me a sympathetic look. "My Gram isn't taking breaths anymore." I breathe a shaky breath. "How did she die?"

"She had lung cancer, too. And Alzheimer's. So she wouldn't remember us even if we went to see her before. But, still. She was my best friend when I was kid." I look up when I hear Nialls bed creak, and see him calmly planting his feet on the wooden floor. He takes a deep breath before he pushes himself up and detaches himself from his machine I don't know the name of, and attaches his tubes to his portable oxygen tank. He walks over to me as I'm wiping my eyes with my whole hand and hugs me. I stand up and hug him back, but keep my hand over my eyes.

"Do you want to hear a story?" He asks. I don't respond because for some reason, I'll feel weird. "My Mum told me this when I was first diagnosed, when I little. She said that there is a man in the sky, who would decorate the citizens God would make. He was Gods neighbor and relied on him to get the perfect human being that he and him could ever make. His name is Thater." Niall paused so he could take a few deep breaths. I let go of him and we both sat down back on the seat.

"Thater wasn't as good as God. But of course he made mistakes too. Sometimes he would forget to give someone an arm, or a leg, or even all their parts. Thater was responsible for the inderds and the physical traits, like the hair, eyes, nose." Niall pauses again, but he didn't do it to catch his breath. Instead, he took the biggest breath he could, and took off his oxygen tubes. "Niall, don't--" He puts a hand up and I stop. "Thater messed up just as often as God did. He would forget an organ or forget a nose or give them the broken eyes, the broken ears, etcetera. They were both positive about it and God said, 'No, don't throw them away. Put them in. They deserve as much life as the other ones.' They're called Little Accidents, because even though we're not perfect, we still get a chance. Kind of like a car crash. Or any other kind of accident." Niall waits for me to process the story before he continues. "Harold," I look back up at him. "I can't breathe." Niall, ashamed, grabbed his tubes and puts them back around his ears. "Its okay," I put my hand on his knee and watch him close his eyes, inhale and catch him breath again.

"So your gram is one of those. She's a Little Accident that got as much life as anyone who's not messed up and she lived the shite out of it." I quirk a small grin. "Is there a point to the story?" I ask. He nods his head. "I'm a Little Accident, too. Just like your Grandma, and Liam, and everyone else who has needed an operation or is sick or is deformed in any way. No, that's not my point. The moral is, is that if this is your reaction to your Gram passing, and you two were really close, then I hope this won't be your reaction for when I die. I don't know how close you would consider us, but I won't be able to die in peace if I know that you're going to be this upset." Niall grins a little, meaning he's being sarcastic and trying to lighten the mood.

Niall looked like a child, with his hair covered up in his beanie, his features still looking dead and the smile on his face while looking at me and awaiting a reaction. Nialls hair was falling out, and he's been wearing beanies a lot more now because of it. Although its happening slowly, its still upsetting to him and his mother.

"You're not a Little Accident." I say. Niall chuckles and leans back against the wall, closing his eyes and opening his mouth. I could hear the breaths he was taking, quick ones. "Harold, I just told you the story. I am, indeed, a Little Accident. It might not be a nice title but, that's what I am. I suggest you be thankful you're not one, because at the moment it sucks not being able to breathe correctly."