˗ˏˋ thick pins and blunt needles 'ˎ˗

➷

The next few days seem to go by in a flurry with the studying, helping each other with whatever they could, and talking about stuff the three of them haven't brought up with each other before.

They spend so much time together, Mahika temporarily forgets all about the thump of loneliness in her chest. Especially today, as she lets the peace of the day wash over her; the click of Keerti's fingers flying across her keyboard and Sakshi's long, even breaths as she sleeps with her head on Keerti's lap being the only sounds in the otherwise quiet room.

A fragment though, just a smidgen of the loneliness from having Naina thousands of miles away from her returns today when she scrolls through the pictures Naina has sent of her new house to their little group chat. Despite the ache, Mahika feels her lips curl into a fond smile around the straw of her sipper when she notices the array of Naina's favorite paintings lining the walls of the place in the pictures. The house also has a lovely indoor garden, the curtains are light and flowery, the windows are abundant, and the lights are warm.

It's the kind of space Naina would always gush about wanting to have growing up, and Mahika feels the ache in her chest intensify-the good kind of ache-when she thinks about how none of them would ever have to worry about whether or not Naina is happy.

Akash has already shown time and time again that he's more than worthy of being the person that Naina spends the rest of her life with.

Keerti lets out a whistle, startling both Mahika and Sakshi, the latter letting out a low grumble before opening her eyes.

"Akash is a hallucination," Keerti says, eyes on her phone, and Mahika immediately barks out a surprised laugh.

"What did he do now?" Sakshi asks, the question melting into a deep breath and then a long yawn. She closes her eyes again and blindly starts patting around the bed for her phone. Mahika takes pity on her half a minute later and leans over to pick the device up so she can hand it to Sakshi. "Thank you, Mahi, I love you."

"Love you, too," Mahika replies, amused.

"As impressed as I am, he's also married to Naina of all people," Keerti continues, still scrolling through the pictures. "I really don't know which one of them is luckier." Mahika blinks at the words, a little surprised, and it must show on her face because Keerti lets out a scoff. "What? Just because I don't show it often doesn't mean I don't love her to death. Stop staring."

Mahika stops staring.

"Damn," Sakshi whistles. "We're all a little bit in love with Naina, aren't we."

"Little bit?" Mahika scoffs as if offended. "Speak for yourself."

Keerti snorts and keeps her phone aside with a shake of her head before getting back to aggressively typing on her laptop. Mahika moves to do the same, but then her phone pings the very second it's about to touch the table.

It's a text from Amoli.

Take me out 💔

Mahika blinks, mind going blank for a split second. And then the second text pops up.

Arnav went out with his friends and the house feels even emptier

If there's anything that Mahika knows better than anyone, it's the heaviness that comes from having to say goodbye to people that are part of your everyday life. She thinks about how she sometimes still feels like a twelve-year-old lost at the train station every time her mother leaves for work.

She looks at the clock, and then at her friends. It's not like she could plan an impromptu outing with Amoli right now.

take you out on a date or like, with a rifle?

On a date preferably so you can tell me how your joke survived the asteroid that killed all our dinosaurs

Mahika's eyes widen for a moment at the quick retort, and then a surprised chortle makes its way past her lips before she can remind herself that she has company. She tries to disguise it with a cough a second too late, already beginning to feel the weight of her friends' stares on her even before she turns to look at them.

Keerti tilts her head to one side and smiles sweetly. A little too sweetly. "Naina again?"

An amused smile slips past Mahika's internal panic despite herself. "Amoli, actually," she says, just for the sake of throwing her friends off, really. And there's no reason for her to hide that she's been texting the other girl non-stop anyway.

Not until anyone sees the said texts, at least.

Sakshi is the first one to react, her eyebrows going up in genuine surprise. "You two talk?"

"Yep."

"Like, actual, normal people?"

Mahika's amusement goes up a notch. "The normalest."

Keerti genuinely looks impressed. "Damn. Never thought I'd see the day." And then she just promptly goes back to her work. Sakshi, on the other hand, rolls onto her stomach and settles her chin on her palm.

"Are you guys friends now?"

"Uh, yeah." Kinda.

"Now that I think about it, I don't think I saw them fight even once during the trip," Keerti muses, her eyes still on the screen. "I'm glad you two sorted out... whatever that was."

Me too, Mahika thinks, a tiny, secretive little fond smile on her face. For a second, she feels more words bubble up her throat. God, she's about to gush. About how glad she is. About how unnecessary it was all these years to so resolutely keep her distance from Amoli and how relieved she is to not have to do that anymore.

She thinks how she wouldn't have to stop herself if Naina was here, and feels another jab of that now-familiar loneliness.

Sakshi hums. "Yeah, me too. Why did you guys not like each other, anyway?" Then she pauses and frowns in thought, unnoticing of the way Mahika stills in her spot. "I don't think any of us ever found out the reason. Amo's so sweet? And you get along with basically everyone."

And really, what was it? Was it really because Mahika was convinced that Amoli wasn't too fond of her presence or was it Mahika's own fears meddling with her perception skills? She has never been the type to judge people too fast. Then why... was she so quick to come to the conclusion that being around Amoli would be complicated?

"We just..." Mahika starts, trying to play off the sudden quiet in her voice with a far-too-casual shrug, "got off the wrong foot, I guess."

Keerti turns to look at her then, and for a second Mahika feels like her soul is going to jump out of her body from the mere possibility that the other girl can see right through her. It's an irrational fear-one that Mahika hates with all her might-because she knows for a fact that none of her friends are homophobic.

Hell, Keerti went out of her way to bring up queer erasure in literature right in the middle of one of her lectures last year. People on campus talked about it for weeks. Keerti didn't even bat an eyelash at the attention.

But then the said girl ends the conversation with a simple, "Well, it's nice that you two worked it out," and goes back to her work for good.

Mahika tries to ease the knots out of her chest by breathing very, very slowly for a full minute.

"We should invite her to hang out with us," Sakshi murmurs, and Mahika freezes yet again. "I mean, I've asked before, but..." she trails off with that to give Mahika a meaningful look, and then adds, "You know."

Sakshi doesn't have to elaborate for the other two girls to understand. The reason why Mahika and Amoli didn't meet all that much was because it wasn't just Mahika that avoided Amoli. At some point, the two of them started to voluntarily avoid being in places where they would meet.

It's a little funny, considering Mahika always heard from people that when you liked someone, you went out of your way to catch a glimpse of them.

Not in her case, obviously.

"They're good now, though," Keerti supplies, and Mahika is just about to say something along the lines of stop talking about me like I'm not here. "Should we try again?"

Sakshi immediately jumps into a sitting position at the idea, always 'the fondest of Amoli out of them all'. (in Sakshi's words, obviously. Mahika would disagree and physically fight her for the position if given the chance).

"Can we?" She looks at Mahika right away, either too oblivious, or purposely ignoring the wide-eyed look on Mahika's face. "We could totally invite her right now. Would that be okay, Mahi?" Mahika's words are stuck somewhere between hell yeah and God, no and so is her expression, probably, because Sakshi rushes to add, "You can say no! Really. I know we all got together to study, but we've finished so much already..."

It's not that Mahika minds Amoli coming over to join them. God, of course she doesn't. It's just... new. The two of them are still figuring out that space they've found between being friends and... well, more. And Mahika doesn't want to do anything or make any rash decisions that would tamper with the fragile ground that they are standing on right now.

But...

Mahika rolls her bottom lip between her teeth and says, "I don't mind."

... I want to spend more time with her.

Sakshi's entire face lights up and she immediately starts typing on her phone.

Mahika quickly silences her phone and types out a text of her own.

aren't u hilarious

listen

sak is about to invite u over to my place

Uh

it's a long story

Oh she texted me

i was worried u wouldn't be very comfortable with that

so i personally wanted u to know that u can say no

There's a long pause, and Mahika even listens for the ping on Sakshi's phone. There is none. Amoli always replies right away, so it takes a lot for Mahika to not start bouncing her knee anxiously under the desk.

A new message pops up on top of her screen.

Would you be okay with this?

Mahika wonders if that's a trick question. Then she shakes the ridiculous thought off.

Absolutely, she thinks. yeah, she replies. There's another pause.

Me coming over wouldn't bother you?

not at all

It's a wonder Mahika doesn't start vibrating in her chair at the lack of response. The grip that her teeth have on her lip almost gets painful, and her thumbs hover on the screen. God, was she out of line? But she was only being truthful. Amoli being here wouldn't bother her. Was it not right to say so? Should she have not said anything at all and let Sakshi be the only one to bring this up-

"Whoo! She's coming over."

Mahika blinks, the jumble inside her head scrambling further until she can't keep her hold on any of the thoughts. They dissipate one by one.

"Huh?"

"She said she'll be over in like, half an hour."

Another silent text pops up on Mahika's screen.

Okay

The one word really does wonders for Mahika's already distraught state because what does that even mean. Is she... mad Mahika didn't try to avoid this? Did she say yes just so she wouldn't have to say no? And God, Mahika hates that she's thinking so much about it. This really doesn't have to be any different than her other friends coming over and staying. It's like second nature now, almost, to stay over at each others' places whenever they feel the slightest bit distressed about something.

So why is Mahika so worked up over this?

They're all friends with Amoli now. It's only natural for her to be around more often.

Heaving a sigh at her tendency to overthink everything, she turns the volume of her phone back up and puts it aside.

It pings loudly in the now-quiet room.

I'll see you soon then <3

Mahika turns to look at her friends, finds them busy with their own things, and feels her blush spread all the way to the back of her neck.

➷

a/n

it's been a long time, hello :')

i hope you guys had a wonderful start to ur year <3 for those who didn't, i hope 2022 gets better for u. i've been a lil absent, and for once, i want to explain why it's become sort of a permanent thing:

i work 7-8 hours a day with no off weekends or festival breaks. i always either have to make extra time or stay up at night if i want to work on my books. i'm trying to find a balance this year, but that's where the other big issue comes into play: i've been having worse problems with my health than i ever have. my body has weakened and so has my mind because of the exhaustion, but writing has always helped, so i'm really trying to make myself a little more available for it.

your patience, kindness, and support have always meant the world to me. honestly, thank you so, so much. the response on my books is a major highlight of my incredibly dull day. i'm hoping that i get to spend more time writing and interacting with you guys in 2022 :')

thank you again. i'll see you again soon <3