˗ˏˋ lively greetings and teary goodbyes 'ˎ˗

➷

The sound of the bathroom door clicking open makes Mahika's head snap up, hands still under the water even as a pair of dark eyes that she's grown all too familiar with meet hers in the mirror.

Mahika's lips twitch before she realizes it.

"Well, well, well," Amoli drawls exaggeratingly, clearly holding back her own smile. "The sense of déjà vu is strong with this one."

Allowing her smile to grow a little wider—a little more obvious, a little more like she can't help but let it show on her face that the mere sight of Amoli fills her with warmth—Mahika turns the tap off and shakes the excess water off her fingers before wiping them clean with a paper towel. When she turns, Amoli has already stepped closer.

Mahika feels her subconscious nudge at her to reach out. Touch. Hold. Just... be closer. But she holds back and allows a playful glint to appear in her eye as she folds her arms across her chest.

"Maybe if you stopped following me into bathrooms..."

Amoli keeps a hand on her chest, right over her heart as if offended. "The first time was pure accident. Promise."

"So you followed me this time."

Offering nothing but a cheeky smile in return, Amoli says, "I will neither confirm, nor deny that statement."

Mahika wants to tease her more, but she tucks the thought away for later with an eye roll, finally allowing herself to take in the sight in front of her completely; marvels at the way Amoli's pretty white blouse leaves the dips and curves of her collarbones on display. Smiles a little when she sees the tiny moons hanging at the end of her dangly earrings, on the brink of brushing her shoulders. Takes the last step forward and lets herself have a single moment of weakness where her fingers reach out to tuck a lock of Amoli's now short hair behind her ear, index finger shyly caressing a stripe down her helix.

She takes hold of a moon and tugs very, very lightly. "Hi."

Amoli exhales in a long, shaky breath. Like she had been holding it in.

Mahika bites back another smile, but she really doesn't have it in herself to hide her satisfaction right now.

"Don't," Amoli warns, but the heat in her glare is lost when she leans into Mahika's touch.

"I didn't say anything."

"Good." Amoli closes her eyes for a brief moment. "Keep it that way."

An involuntary laugh makes its way past Mahika's lips, and even though she wants to, she doesn't joke about how this time is so much different than the last time they were standing in the same bathroom. Partly, because she can't bring it up without her cheeks blooming three different shades of pink, but it's not like she'll admit that out loud.

"I like your hair," she says instead, saving herself the memories and Amoli the embarrassment. Her hand has tenderly found home against Amoli's cheek. "It suits you."

"Thank you," Amoli replies softly, her returning smile shy even as she reaches out to wrap her delicate fingers around Mahika's wrist. The action brings in a little courage to the space between them until Mahika breathes it in and tilts her head forward so she can rest it against Amoli's.

"Sorry," she whispers, but can't bring herself to feel apologetic for closing the distance between them. Not really. "I know we agreed to not rush things but..."

"It's hard," the other girl finishes on her behalf, and when Mahika opens her eyes she finds nothing but warmth shining in Amoli's timid smile. "I know."

Do you think about it too? Mahika wants to ask. Do you think about it as often as I do?

"I think we need to find places to meet that aren't bathrooms from now on," Mahika murmurs, hoping that her voice doesn't sound as strained as she feels. The worry melts into fondness though, because Amoli breathes out a laugh at her words and shakes her head.

"Yeah, I think it's about time we meet each other without at least one of your friends around," Amoli replies cheekily, and it's Mahika's turn to laugh then. All too soon, it melts into a teasing grin.

"That's usually called a date."

"So you're suggesting that we go on a date."

"I will uh, neither confirm nor deny t—"

Amoli sets a hand on her arm and pushes her away with another laugh, the sound louder than it has ever been in Mahika's presence as it echoes between the walls of the bathroom. She quickly realizes and stifles it though, and her eyes widen in alarm, hands shooting up to cover her mouth.

Mahika has to pull her lips between her teeth to hide her own amusement, immediately getting another playful shove from Amoli.

For a moment, Mahika lets herself bask in this newfound comfort between them. Revels in the fact that for once, she doesn't have to desperately grasp at the air of ease that surrounds them for only a few seconds at a time to make it stay. The bubble of awkwardness and misunderstandings that once protected their veiled fondness for one another has now burst and sprinkled them with peace instead.

Gone is the fear; even if temporarily, and Mahika no longer feels like her world is caving in when she reaches out to take hold of Amoli's hand again. It feels natural. Like they've done it a million times before.

"We should go," she suggests, gesturing at the door with her chin and feeling her chest warm at the way Amoli stares down at their joined hands. "They're going to start wondering what happened."

Amoli looks up at her, and Mahika now knows her enough to spot the hints of vulnerability shining in her dark, doe-like eyes. "We'll still see each other, right?" Amoli's voice is soft, earlier playfulness gone to be replaced by a smidgen of pensiveness. "After today?"

Mahika wants to draw her into an embrace, but she isn't sure when she'd be able to let go. So she settles with a firm squeeze of her hand against Amoli's fingers. "Yeah," she says, thumb soothingly running across Amoli's knuckles. "We will."

-

Longing glances across the table and chiming laughter over food aside, the dinner does come to an end.

And if Mahika had thought that she was all cried out, it turns out she was terribly, terribly wrong. Because right now, even with her arms firmly locked around Naina's waist and her face buried against her shoulder, she feels lonelier than ever already.

"Mahi," Naina whines, chin digging into Mahika's shoulder. "You're going to make me cry. I don't want to cry, okay? Come on." It's pointless and just a little funny, because Naina is most definitely crying, too. "You promised."

Mahika lets out a watery laugh, immediately scrunching her nose at how disgusting it sounds. "A bit too late for that."

"Ugh, you're the worst."

Mahika laughs again, but the sound melts into another sob. And then it's the same way as the first drizzle of rain makes the ground yearn for more. More tears come rushing forth and tighten her chest and throat until they fill her eyes and spill over.

"I'm sorry, I swear I wasn't gonna do this," Mahika says, face crumpling when she feels Naina's hold tighten around her. "But I just—it's hard. I don't know. I've never known what it's like to not have you around but I already know I'm going to hate it." Her eyes well up all over again. "So much."

They're wrapped up in their own little bubble in the corner, and although the thought doesn't have the space to form fully amidst the suffocating grief that's steadily rising up her chest, she thinks about how grateful she is for her friends and how gentle and understanding they are about her bond with Naina. They've always given the two of them their space without being too far away.

And even Dhruv—who is probably fighting back the crushing sadness clawing up his own throat if his rumpled expression earlier was anything to go by—has made it a point to give the two of them some privacy.

"Stop that," Naina scolds, but it's weak. "We're still going to talk, and that's a threat." Her voice is an annoyed grumble, the hand rubbing gentle circles on her back contrasting with it. "You can't even make an excuse about the timezones or whatever since you never sleep anyway."

Letting out another watery laugh, Mahika presses her forehead to Naina's shoulder and makes another little attempt in vain to get her emotions under control. All it does is bring her attention to how the faint scent of the Marquis perfume that Naina has always loved so much is still clinging to her clothes, and how even after all these years, Mahika's brain still registers the whispers of the scent in her ear as comfort. Familiarity. Home.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she says, and it comes out more like a breathy whisper, the words dissolving around them with an air of finality. "It's not going to be the same," she adds, quickly, sensing that Naina is once again about to scold her for sounding like this is the last time they're seeing each other. "But it's us. And—"

"And we'll make it work."

"—we'll make it work." What eventually helps is the way Naina's fingers glide through her hair, smoothing it behind her back in an all-too-familiar way; the very same way she has a million times before: When Mahika had a hard time with her parents' divorce. When Mahika was about to set off to college and was too afraid of how different the environment was going to be. When Mahika was working until her body would begin to give up on her, just so she could get her mind off other things.

When Mahika had her head resting on Naina's shoulder; the very same night that she came out to her best friend expecting the least and having the world handed to her in return.

"Besides," Naina says, interrupting whatever dark turn Mahika's thoughts were about to take next, her voice lowered several octaves. "You're only sad because now you need to figure out another way to keep meeting Amoli."

Mahika can't help it. She pulls back with an exasperated laugh and swats Naina's arm hard enough to grab everyone's attention.

Naina only cackles; the kind that always makes Mahika snort in the middle of her laugh.

They distantly hear Dhruv tell Arnav and Akash that these two women are, in fact, always like this and there's no need to worry about their friendship. Or their sanity. The rest of their friends hum in agreement and go back to whatever they were doing.

"You're awful," Mahika accuses jokingly, jabbing Naina's shoulder with her index finger. "You hear me? Absolutely awful."

Naina smiles, but it reaches her eyes this time despite the tears still clinging to her lashes and waterline. "It made you laugh, though."

Mahika shakes her head and they reach out for one last hug—the tightest they can manage—before Naina moves away to say goodbye to everyone else.

She knows it would make her eyes well up all over again seeing Dhruv's expression over Naina's shoulder so she turns around and makes her way to the tables instead, still sniffling a little as she looks for a napkin.

There's a hand holding one in her line of sight soon enough, and Mahika follows the length of the arm only to meet Amoli's dark, kind eyes and her gentle smile.

They don't talk, and Mahika is grateful. Because she doesn't think she can speak right now anyway. Her heart feels heavy and she knows the bad feeling in her stomach is going to come back sooner or later anyway.

So she silently dabs under her eyes with the soft cloth instead, trying to muster up a genuine smile for the girl in front of her.

When they make their way to the group again, Samay's face tells Mahika that he has put his playful side on hold for now, an arm already stretched out in her direction. When she goes over to stand beside him, he wraps her in a side hug and gives her shoulder a little squeeze.

There's the sound of laughter around her again as Akash gets threatened left and right to keep in touch as well, and Mahika feels that knot in her chest loosen just a little.

She doesn't think it's ever going to be possible to not miss having her best friend within arm's reach, but maybe, just maybe, knowing that Naina is going to be happy and content with her life even when they're apart is going to help a little.

Just a little.

Until then, Mahika can allow Samay's hand on her shoulder and the playful bickering among her friends to ground her.

➷

a/n

okay, i just wanna say GOD i missed being here. an awful lot. achingly so.

it's been over 2 months since i last updated, and So Much has happened since. this has been a very long, and very painful year for me. but i saw so many people still holding on to this book and it just... means the world to me. it eased some of the ache. thank you so, so much for sticking around. you guys have no idea what your support means to me. 

i hope you have all been well! if you want, let me know how things have been going with you in the comments :') i would love to catch up with y'all <3