Duncan Beth LeShawna Harold Heather and I were all running to the bath room. “Only one toilet is working today?" Beth said.

"This crazy bargain basement show doesn’t even have a plunger?” Heather said.

“And I’d have to be crazy to give up this primo spot, crazy with niceness, Duncan honey? You take it" LeShawna said.

"Pff nice try, you lied to us and I never mess with liars" Duncan said getting in her face.

 "Ugh, or with mouth wash, I got one word for you stank breath, Winter Mint" she said pushing him away.

“Alex, girl. I know you want my spot” LeShawna said.

“You know I would, but how do I know you’re not just lying again? It’s kinda hard to tell now” I said.

“Fine Harold baby would you like my spot?" She asked him. "Hecks ya!” Harold said.

"Figures, taking a bribe!" Duncan said.

"I don’t do bribes!" Harold said.

"Then what’s with letting LeShawna suck up to you? As far as I’m concerned she’s off the team!" Duncan said.

“Except that the team needs her!” Harold said.

I laughed “Please, we don’t need anyone” I said.

“Thank you for giving me your spot LeShawna, my valued and somewhat un-trustworthy teammate" Harold said bowing to her. He opened the door and Owen was in there "AHHHHH! Owen what are you doing?" Harold asked.

"It’s not about what I’m doing, it’s about what I’m NOT doing!" Owen said. “Pipes a little backed up?” Harold asked.

“Who knew that a diet of blended corn beef and cheese puff shakes could stop my whole system?” Owen said trying oh so desperately to…go.

“Come on! Just a nugget!!” Owen said.

“Do we really have to listen to this?” I asked. “Make way! Coming through!” Chef said coming in carrying a smoothie. “Chef! A little privacy? I’m trying to poop-a-doop here” Owen said.

“Doctors orders, I got the cure for your no can doo-doo right here. Warm hot fruit” Chef said trying to give him the smoothie.

“That isn’t even food-esc!” Owen said pushing him away.

“Don’t push kid. Their making me serve you on account of my bad behavior” Chef said.

“Give it here, I’ve been starving half to death since DJ left” LeShawna said drinking it all.

“Girls gonna feel that” Chef said.

“My, my who knew liquid bran could be so tasty?” LeShawna said burping. “Even on the return trip” She said.

“I would say my work here is done, but I never even got started” Owen said walking off. “This morning was so weird” I said.

~

We all went down to a field. Chris and Chef were pacing in front of us. “Today, we’re all about war movies, so look lively you-” Chris said

"Buckets of horse doo-doo!" Chef said. "So get ready for the first death-defying challenge you-” Chris said

“Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!”Chef said "Move it privates! Fall in!" Chris said.

“Sir yes sir!!” We all yelled.

I went in the confessional. /“Duncan has this cute little dream of always wanting to be a marine. I’d never let him though of course, cause marines go to war, and when you’re in war, you die. But for the challenge, he’s a major plus”/

“I am so pumped! My squad in battle front has won ten online multi player gaming titles! The secret to our success, teamwork” Harold said.

Duncan rolled his eyes “This is the real world virtual loser, you wanna win? Sit back and let me get my marine on! I’m the main course the rest of you are gravy as in on the side!" Duncan said getting a little too full of him.

I coughed and gave him a look. He pulled me closer to him “Yeah, yeah, you can be the main course too baby” he said kissing the top of my head quickly. I laughed “Someone’s getting a little too full of himself” I said.

“Who me?” he asked smiling. I rolled my eyes.

"You won’t be saying that when I bust out my deadly num yo! No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks, not when I’m carrying this bad boy” Harold said taking it out, just two yoyos tied together.

“I will defeat all enemies and swipe them with dishonor! HIYA!" Harold yelled we all yawned and rolled our eyes. Duncan picked up a stick and put it into the string as Harold was swinging it and it hit him in the balls. “My nether-regions!!” Harold yelled.

"Harold just took a numyo in the numyos” Duncan said making us all laugh “What a loser!!" He said walking back over to us.

“That’s not funny Duncan!” Harold said in the smallest voice.

~

"Okay people, remove your blind folds!" Chris yelled to us. When we took them off we were in an airplane. "When it comes to making a war movie jumping out a airplane it the most dangerous stunt there is, so naturally it’s our first challenge!" Chris said.

Jumping out of a plane? Oh god. “Drop zone approaching! Form a line! It’s time to party!!” Chris said. “Babe, you’re jumping off with me” I said holding onto Duncan's arm.

He laughed. “Sure, but don’t wig out, I’ll be right here and plus, we have a parachute” he said.

Heather Duncan Harold and I all stood up ready to jump. “Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute! Luckily we’re gonna skip all that and get to the good part. Jumping!” Chris said.

“You sure that's a good idea?” Harold asked.

“What’s the worst that could happen!?” Chris said.

“You know I really hate it when he says that” I said.

“We die!” Owen said.

“I know! Hilarious! Haha!” Chris said. 

“Time to jump!” Chris said.

“There's only one way off this big old silver bird and it’s threw that door! Let’s dance!!” Izzy said trying to push Owen. “Come on! It’s not that scary!” Izzy said.

“Hello! Crazy girl pushing me off an airplane! And I don’t even have a parachute lesson yet!” Owen said.

“That's okay! I just spoke to our research department, there were no parachutes in World War One!” Chris said.

“So, whatta we do for a challenge!?” Heather asked.

“Simple!” Chris said pushing the parachutes out of the plane, we all gasped.

“Woohoo! Tell my pet rock I love her!” Izzy yelled jumping off. Goodbye crazy girl.

“You’re next private no-can-poop!” Chris said to Owen. “Ah! For the love of everything deep fried! Don’t ask me to do this!” Owen said.

“If you won’t do it for me, maybe you’ll do it for a corn beef blendy!” Chris said taking one out.

“Fetch boy!” Chris said throwing it out the plane door. The plane then tilted and we all screamed as we fell out.

“I’m dead. I’m dead right?” I said eyes closed.

“Nope. Not dead” Heather said. I opened my eyes and I was on the ground. Well not the ground, but a mattress on the set floor. I looked up and saw the plane, which was supposed to be like thirty billion feet in the air.

Yeah more like a few feet off the ground. Everything was a set up. “We’re alive! Woohoo!” Owen said. “Remind me to kill Chris after my heart beat gets back to normal” I said laying back on the mattress.

“Haha it’s good to be alive!” Owen said.

“Let’s roll soldiers! Cause the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds! And everything else within a fifty foot radius” Chris said.

~

Chris and Chef brought us to the set we’d be working on today. There was a bunch of bombs and torpedoes and stuff like that in a big pile. “Are those paintballs?” Lindsay asked.

“We’ve divided the camp into two halves, most creative and controlled splatter wins” Chris said.

“Talk about a challenge custom made for me! I’m all over this” Duncan said.

“Getting a little full of yourself babe” I said.

“Come on this is my thing, I’ll win this for us” He said getting to work. I sighed. Good choice Alex. Pick the most stubbornest boy to be your boyfriend.

“Might I suggest you consult your friendly, neighborhood chem-expert? Because what is an explosion; other than the chemical reaction with trinitrotoluene, decomposing as 2C7H5N3O6 → 3N2 + 5H2O + 7CO?” Harold said. Whoa that hurt just to even hear.

“Try.Speaking.In.English!” Heather said. Duncan walked off with some explosives. “Babe wanna help me with these?” He asked giving me some.

“Sure. Why not” I said rolling my eyes.

“I think we might have to stick with Duncan honey” LeShawna said.

“Why?” Harold asked.

“Vandal boy beats big chem nerd. It’s a simple equation” Heather said.

“Harold make yourself useful and carry something” I said as we walked off.

~

We went behind the paint splatter shield ready to explode our explosives. “Gaffers are we ready?” Chris asked giving Duncan the exploder box “Time for a little punk rock” Duncan said pushing down the lever.

The way everything exploded was cool enough, but then the splatters ended up in a skull formation. “And who said vandalism doesn’t pay” Chris said walking over to the Grips. “Alright, a little getting full of yourself definitely pulled off, that was so amazing!” I said hugging him.

“Thanks babe” he said giving me a quick kiss. “See, you just gotta let The D Man take control”

“Let’s not push it” I said. “As much as it pains me to say so, you did good Duncan” Harold said.

“Yeah no kidding, this is my world your living in dork boy” Duncan said poking Harold’s chest as we walked off, his arm around me.

Chris observed the Grips explosion, which Izzy conducted, which was a horrible idea. She made the biggest explosion. Chris came over, splattered with paint “The Gaffers are victorious!” Chris said making us all cheer.

“It is my honor to present your prize. The big trunk of mind blowing secrets!” Chris said as Chef wheeled a giant chest out. “You’ll be defending it with your very lives!”

~

“Contestants! Get ready to begin your next war challenge. It’s a giant game of capture the flag, except in this case the flag is the trunk of mind blowing secrets!” Chris said. “There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk and that's to win the challenge. As your reward we’ll give you immunity to tonight’s votes, AND a peek inside but be ready, what's inside, will blow your brains to bits”

“I need my brain” Harold said.

“Not to worry, a roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the great matter back together” Chris said.

~

“Gaffers, this is your base camp” Chris said showing it to us. “Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities, but they went to see a movie instead. So we’re gonna give you this” Chris said while Chef took the sheet off what was supposed to be our tower. It was an old shed.

“Gee, thanks” I said.

“I think it’s a tool shed” Chris said. It collapsed reveling some garden tools. “Was, a tool shed. Good luck” Chris said walking off.

“How we gonna defend this big old trunk of secrets with no fort?” LeShawna asked.

“We’ll put our heads together and come up with a group plan” Harold said.

“You do whatever you want, I’m gonna go set some booby traps” Duncan said.

“Can I get a beautiful assistant?” He asked smiling at me.

“Let’s move lover boy” I said putting my hands on his shoulders as we walked off.

“Okay first we need tools, wanna go find me some?” He asked.

“I really don’t” I said.

“You’re so beautiful” He said smiling.

“Be right back” I said rolling my eyes smiling. “Love you!” he called. “Yeah, yeah” I said hearing him laugh.

I looked around and found a net and some ropes. I walked back to find LeShawna Heather and Harold digging. “This work? I was thinking we could make a kinda trap where they run in it then this net catches them” I said.

“Read my mind” he said smiling. “Let’s get to work then” I said pushing him, throwing him some rope. “Duncan, Alex, the rest of us have agreed on an actual plan. If you wouldn’t mind, we could use a little help” Harold said.

“If you wouldn’t mind I could use a little of you shutting your useless pie hole! I’m busy” Duncan said.

“Why don’t you guys dig that whole, and we’ll get back to you” I said giving him a thumbs up then getting back to work with Duncan.

~

“This’ll trap a bear” Duncan said satisfied with himself when we finished.

“Well if Owens on the other team then it’ll need to be good” I said.

“Well since the hottest people on this show built it I think it’s pretty good” he said pulling me closer to him.

“Someone is being overly conceited today, Mr. Main Coarse” I said.

“War is my life, like it live it love it” He said kissing me quickly.

We heard a loud fart coming from where the guys built that in ground fort thing. Harold went out over the side breathing heavy. “There they are!” Justin said.

Beth Izzy Justin and Owen screamed running to go steal the trunk, they ran straight into our trap. “Oh yeah!” I said.

Duncan swung down on a rope, pocket knife out. He cut the line holding the net, which swung the Grips back to their base camp.

“Nice work mister” I said walking back over high fiving him. “You weren’t so bad yourself” He said kissing me.

“Let’s go see how the losers are holding up” Duncan said. We ran over to their underground fort. “What's going on in here?” Duncan asked.

“I’m trying not to puke” Heather said. I finally breathed in the air and it smelt like legit shit in here. “Ya’ll I really think it might be over now, I’m feeling much-” LeShawna stopped and farted again.

“Ugh! I am out!” Heather said covering her nose walking out.

“Oh man! That's fucking nasty” I said covering my nose.

“It smells like blue cheese in here” Duncan said holding his nose.

“I’m so sorry, I feel like I really let the team down” LeShawna said.

“You did! Again!! What were you thinking drinking a smoothie made for Owen’s system?!” I said angrily.

“You think? Harold! What have you been doing all this time?” Duncan said.

“Trying to keep the team together, no thanks to you, or you, or Miss. Toxic Ammitions here” Harold said.

“Be mad at Chef he made the stupid smoothie” LeShawna said.

“No, I’m gonna be mad at you, for drinking it and messing up things again!” I said.

“You can’t do anything right you’re an idiot!” Duncan said to Harold.

“At least I’m here! At least I’m trying! What kind of lousy marine leaves his squad all alone?” Harold said.

“Lousy marine? Hello! Who just saved the challenge for us? If it wasn’t for Duncan and I building that the Grips would’ve stolen the trunk” I said.

LeShawna kept farting making the smell in this god forsaken hole worse and worse. “Dude we gotta get out of here!” Duncan said.

Harold blocked the entrance. “Not until you say we’re a team” Harold said.

“Move it! Now!” I said.

“Who cares when we’re gonna die of toxic butt poison!” Duncan said.

“And say you value my contribution” Harold said. LeShawna’s stomach gurgled. “That ominous warning usually means a really bad one is coming” Harold said.

“Duncan, just say it! We will die if we stay in here!” I said, hands over my mouth trying to breath.

“There are worse ones? You’re not a complete loser okay? I value the small portion of you that isn’t a loser. Can we go now!?” Duncan said.

“Please!” I said. “Anything you want teamie” Harold said. “Get the trunk, and MOVE!” I said.

Harold and Duncan grabbed the trunk with LeShawna still hung over it. The Grips came running down yelling again. “Four of them, three of us. Don’t like these odds” Duncan said punching his fists.

“Your forgetting who you have on your side” I said cracking my knuckles. “Well, we do have a secret weapon” Harold said taking out the numyo.

“Oh you’re kidding me” I said. “The numyo!? We’re dead meat!” Duncan said.

“The winning streak was good while it lasted” I said.

“I respect your strength, but I will defeat you!” Harold said.

Duncan smiled “Babe turn it!” he said. We turned the trunk so LeShawna would fart in their face and Harold beat them with a numyo. “What can I say, you did good. You did real good” Duncan said.

“Way to go man” I said putting my hand on Harold’s shoulder.

“The team did good” Harold said.

“Times up! The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner’s circle. That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own tonight. And now, it’s time to revel to the winners the mind blowing secrets within this trunk! Here's what you were fighting for teams” Chris said opening the chest. Duncan and Harold looked in it, both their faces dropped. “What's in it?” I asked.

“All this sadness” Duncan said.

“All these tears” Harold said.

“Dude, no tears! That was just our eyes watering off LeShawna’s butt blasts” Duncan said.

“Still, all this hatred! For what?” Harold said.

“An empty trunk!” Duncan said. “Of course” I said.

“The madness of war!!” Harold said.

“Whhhhhhyy!!?” Harold and Duncan yelled. I rolled my eyes smiling leaning back on my elbows. This was such a weird day.

------------------------------------------------------------

Odd episode, but one of my favorites, LOL Harold’s numyo

& IZZY BECOMING EXPLOSIVO I FUCKING LOVE, like I always have ahhahaha:D