~Remy~

"Uhh, is he okay?" 

I ask Noah after walking into the living room to find him ready to go as he dusted off his uniform while Mason laid completely knocked out on the couch. 

"He's fine," Noah says without any context and for all I know he could have drugged Mase into a slumber. Not like I minded considering how much he needed the sleep. 

"If you say so," I cautiously reply, knowing I should trust him but at the same time it's Noah. Just when I thought I knew him, it turns out that I knew nothing about him at all. I can't help but watch him as he fixes his navy blue uniform embroidered with gold. It brings out the deep blue in his cold eyes as he swipes a hand through his messy blonde hair making it perfect with ease. 

Why doesn't our mate like us? What did we do wrong? 

My wolf Kairo whimpers at Anu's cold reaction towards us, howling softly before retreating out of his own depression. 

"Stop staring at me like that," Noah catches me and I snap myself out it. 

"Ready to go?" I ask, trying to talk about anything else and he lovingly kisses the top of Mason's head and I feel my face flush just slightly. Would he ever do such a thing for me? Would he ever give me little loving kisses when I was sick? 

Probably not. 

He doesn't answer me, instead, he just leaves and I'm left to follow him without any instruction. 

"I still can't believe he did this to us, why did we both have to go? Why couldn't just one of us represent the group like we usually do?" Noah complains about having to be with me like I'm not the one standing beside him as we walk down the stairs and out the main hall. 

"I wanted you to come with me. Sorry, I was the one who asked Mase if you could. I think it was stupid now on my part, so I'm sorry for ruining your day," I lied to him in a fake confession to take some of his anger off Mason. He already hates me so I might as well take the blame. 

Noah stops, his shoes squeaking on the floor as he turns to me but I look down, avoiding his gaze at all cost. I just want him to like me again. If he can't even tolerate me he's never going to love me and I'd rather he just reject me at this point.

I hear Noah's footsteps as he continues walking off without me and I quicken my pace to catch up. 

"It's going to be a long walk to the Crimson pack and I don't want to shift," Noah says and I'm thankful he doesn't yell at me for 'forcing' him to come with me. 

"Why not?" I ask and he shrugs. 

"Anu wants one thing and I want another," He grunts and I scratch my arm like I usually do when I'm incredibly nervous. It's like I'm on a first date or something and it's not going well.

"Must be hard to um, disagree with a tiger," I try to add to the conversation but Noah just snorts. 

"If I left my tiger out, he'd have you pinned against the next tree, fucking you harder even if you begged for us to stop, bruising every square inch of your skin, and leaving our mark in the most noticeable place possible," He nonchalantly explains and I suddenly feel like I can't breathe. The thought alone turns me on but I'm thankful that we're not shifted so he can't smell my arousal. 

"Is that what you want?" Noah asks and I shake my head, not knowing what I want at this point. 

"I thought so," He huffs and we continue on the path. 

"I mean, I don't...I don't see that as a bad thing though," I mutter under my breath and he shows his obvious distance in his facial expression. 

"Why do you hate me?" I stop walking hoping he would stop with me and he does, turning his head back so I catch his annoyance. 

"At this point Remy, we're never going to make it," He says and I debate just turning around and heading back by myself. 

"I'm serious," I try to plead with him and he rubs the bridge between his eyes with a small groan. 

"I do not hate you," He says but I don't believe him, crossing my arms as he says so. He takes in a deep breath and lets it all out in one go.

"You know what, you're right. I haven't been fair. But, I just don't like the fact that I'm always last when it comes to the important things," Noah burst out and I stay quiet waiting for him to say more.

"Everyone picks me last like I'm always just gonna be there. Sure, I met Tristan first but he already knew Mason and guess what? Mason chose him first. You know who he asked to marry him first? Tristan. And it goes on and on and on," He adds and I can't help but feel so bad about my own decisions. 

"Then just when I started to settle in thinking you know, maybe I'm not last after all, you come along and the truth is revealed. Two days in and you already chose Mason and Tristan over me without a second thought. So if I'm last to you, fuck it, you can be last to me too," Noah finally tells me the real reason and my heart breaks into pieces.

He's right, I didn't even think about putting him first. I was just thinking in the heat of the moment. I hold my chest in hopes it will soothe my aching heart but it does nothing. He's the only one that could do any type of healing. 

"Sure, it's been almost a month and it's not your fault but you haven't even tried to show me that you care. I'm angry yes, but you hide from me. You don't face me which shows me you don't even care if you're just mated to Tris and Mase for the rest of your life and you know what? You can have them. Whatever you can even have me. I don't care anymore," He sighs and starts walking again while I'm stuck in the same position. 

"Noah," I run after him again but he lost any and all emotion to his expression.

"What? You want to mark me now? You want to just take me just because I'm your mate? Go ahead," Noah turns to me and I grab him by the shoulders, shaking him up a bit. 

"No! I don't want that, God Noah. I just," I stop when I can't find him in those light blue eyes. It's like there's nothing there. Noah's light was gone and he's just a shell.

"Noah," I cup his soft pale cheeks in my hands and he stares straight ahead of wherever I tile his head. I've lost him completely and I don't know what to do so I just try to bring him back. Pressing my forehead to his as I just hold him there, wishing our link was connected so I could know what he's thinking and where he's gone. What set him off? 

"Hey, I know you're there somewhere. Anu help me, give him back to me," I beg and Noah suddenly pushes me back, coughing as he leans against a tree to catch his breath. 

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?" I asked and he just kept coughing until little tears spilled from his sore eyelids and he finally stopped. 

"I'm fine," He croaks and I gently rub his back. Now I definitely want to turn around and just go home with him. I'm sure the Crimson pack is just fine, Noah is not. 

"Thank you," He mumbles under his breath as he clears his throat and takes a deep breath, letting out a long groan as he stands up straight again and turns back to me. 

"Sorry, that was a lot and I know it's not your fault," He says confusing me from how he could go from being so angry and emotional, to dead inside, to soft and calm in just one conversation. 

"No, you were right. I should have thought about you but to be honest you're not like them. It's hard to understand you and get through to you," I'm open with him and he nods. From this point in the path, we could hear the ocean crashing against the surf and the wind rustling through the trees. 

"I don't even understand myself if we're being honest," He chuckles and I'm still a little freaked out by whatever just happened. Is there something seriously wrong with him that I just don't know? 

"Sometimes when I get very emotional and aggressive towards my mates Anu pulls me back, but he hasn't quite mastered how far is too far and it's kind of weird I guess," Noah explains and it makes a little bit more sense now.

"At least I'm still your mate," I try to bring a smile to his face but it doesn't work. Instead, he ruffles my hair a bit and we continue on towards the Crimson pack. But the silence was less awkward than before and about halfway through I walk a little closer to him until we're side by side. 

Should I go for it? Maybe? Maybe not? Okay.

I reach out and hold his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers together but he doesn't reject me. Instead, he gives my hand a small squeeze making me so happy I could faint. 

"You're cute," Noah mentions and I feel my face heating up just a little bit. Maybe it's just the heat of the island playing with me right now. 

"You know I've never um," I try to think of a way to say it but I can't because what if he rejects the idea. 

"You'll learn tonight," Noah says as if he reads my mind and I'm glad the anger he once had for me has seemed to die down. Or maybe he's saving the remaining to take it out on me tonight.

We reach the familiar crimson-colored gate to meet the two smiling guards who gladly open it for us. 

"Welcome Beta Noah and Beta Remy to the Crimson pack. Elder Shiva is waiting for you in the citadel," They bow and I tried to let go but Noah continues to hold my hand proudly as if he wants everyone to know I am his which is hot as fuck.

"This looks a lot different from the last time I came here," Noah whispers to me as I examine the bustling city. Everyone seemed to be happy with one another, small stores were selling their goods with doors wide open, and the well-built guards walked through the streets to protect their people. Walking towards the small church building in the center of it all, Noah and I bow our heads to Elder Shiva, who will remain in charge until Alexei was old enough.

"Well I'm so happy to see you two! I've got so much planned for your visit, Haneul will show you to your room where we've already laid out your outfits for tonight's celebration of the full moon," She explains and her small errand boy happily takes leads us down a long hall. 

"How is Connor?" The boy asks and I think they might have been friends. 

"He's doing a lot better now," I tell him and he smiles. 

"Really! Does he have a mom now? He always wanted a mom!" The boy points out and even Noah smiles at his excitement. 

"Yeah, he's got a mom now," Noah tells him and the boy looks like he's about to burst with excitement before running back.

I look around the small room where we had been given one bed with two outfits laid out for the ceremony tonight. Surprised to find two tuxedoes and masks. 

"Well that looks interesting," Noah says as he touches the silk tie and looks back at me. 

"Mmm, You're a bow tie kind of guy right?" 

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Questions will be answered in the reference chapter coming next, to give you guys a little bit more time. I got a lot of good ones that I'm excited about. But I have to sleep now (1pm) before my shift for work starts. I might post it after but depends cause it's my first swing shift soooo...